Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Guides to Life ❯ Dorothy Catalonia's Guide to Life ( Chapter 7 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Dorothy Catalonia's Guide to Life



Alright, before some people totally ignore my flame warnings, I'd like to say that I despise with utmost vigor, Dorothy Catalonia. I'm not trying to bash Quatre, he's not one of my favorite characters but I can tolerate him pretty well. All of the possible Quatre bashing are not intentional… They are merely for cheap entertainment… So NO flames! Ryoukaishimashitaka? (Understood?)

Dorothy Catalonia's Guide to Life
By Kaen-chan ^-^v

Self motivation phase-
Eyebrows ALL the way!
And War is beautiful


What to say everyday-

The blonde Arabian pilot of 04:
~QUATRE!!!! Come back here! I only wanted to show you how shiny and pointy my new epée is!
~Does it hurt?
~HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm nicer than you!
~QAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE EEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME AND STAB ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To Relena:
~Miss Relena! I agree!
~You're the Queen of the World! Do something imposing!
~You GO girl!

To Heero:
~HA HA!!! I'm better than you! ::Warning- Say this only if you are tired of living::

To everybody around you:
~Look I know how to use chopsticks!
~Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
~Does anybody want to play Battleship?

To your eyebrow dresser:
~Um… Maybe just a trim today…
~I think I'll try three branches this time…
~Can you dye it red?

To Treize:
~I knew it! You ARE my cousin!
~You'd better thank me for saving you life, otherwise I'll stab you!


What to do everyday-

The blonde Arabian pilot of 04:
~Stab him
~Ridicule him and his peace idealism
~Steal some Gundanium from his satellite resources to armor your car

To Relena:
~Enrage her when you try to impress Heero with your whims
~Give her a taste of true power. GUNDANIUM CAR ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!
~Mock her of her eyebrows

To Heero:
~Challenge him to a fencing duel
~Smirk as he bleeds… then watch as an oncoming epée heads your way…

To everybody around you:
~Try to persuade them that branched eyebrows are unique
~Pluck their eyebrows when they sleep ::RUN!!!::
~Ram them with your Gundanium tan- eh… car…

To your eyebrow dresser:
~Give him/her a list of new 'fashions'
~Threaten them with your epée if they insist on their tabs early
~Persuade them to let you near their eyebrows with a pair of tweezers

To Treize:
'Borrow' his most recent book of 'Roses and Eyebrows'
~Introduce him to your stylist
~Surprise him with a special family reunion


What to do in case-

~You're eyebrow dresser gets sick:
~Scream in anguish and bury yourself in the dirt
~Try to wax your eyebrows… Scream in horror when they lose a branch and look… normal…

You're bored:
~Follow any potential leader coyly and manipulate him to start another war
~Stab Quatre
~Scare everybody by becoming a 'pacifist'

Quatre isn't there:
~Sob pitifully of your lack of targets… then go for the unlucky person next to you…
~Go buy a target with his figure on it

Your epeé gets broken:
~Get into your car then go on a rampage
~Destroy every store that won't let you in
~Buy back ups… Start your own personal arsenal after reading Heero's 'How to Create Your Own Arsenal' book
~Buy an archery set, bazookas, sabers, rapiers, grenades, poniards, guns, detonation devices, and an old-fashioned cannon

Your pet (or any animal) disobeys you:
~Impale it
~Skewer it over a low fire
~Send her a pet's reform school
~Ship it off to Hong Kong
~Submit it into a military school
~Shred it to pieces
~Give it to Quatre as a 'Xmas Present'

~Owari~

Kaen: ::Smiles and hugs her newly purchased DVD:: WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally got Operation 1!!! Now all I need are some wall scrolls, mangas and the other Operations… I'm currently waiting impatiently for the subtitled Endless Waltz and the possible G-Wing best Soundtrack… ::Starts rambling about how cool the settings are in the Operation 1 DVD::
Heero: -_-;;
Duo: Wow, she must really like that DVD…
Dekiru: o.O;; Anou… Check out what she's doing…
Kaen: ::Puts the DVD in a middle of a shrine and is placing essences around it::
Pilots: O.O;;
Dekiru: ::Sighs:: Still lingering over Gundam Wing aren't you?
Kaen: ::Glares:: Whoever said I was lingering? MY TRUE GUNDAM WING OBSESSION HAS JUST BEGUN!!!!! ::Cue malicious laughter::
Duo: Oi…
Kaen: ::Stops insane laughter:: Saa, which person should I do next? Give me ideas people! Oh and I'm deciding to hold off on Lady Une… I need to get my thoughts collected on her! Review please ^-^v