Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Guild ❯ Chapter 4

"Here," Zechs indicated, stopping at a door in the dark corridor and entering
silently, feeling the presence of his human shadow behind him. He supposed he
was the only one of the three without qualms regarding this factor of the
Trainer-student relationship. The only trouble on his mind at the moment was
the welfare of Heero and Duo.

Trowa watched Zechs, waiting patiently to see what lesson would come next. He
was well aware that his first day of training had been going far too well, if
Quatre and Wufei's experiences were anything to go by.

'Beautiful, too,' Zechs thought idly, wondering why the thought came to mind.
"I am very pleased with you. Your performance today was excellent."

"Thank you sir."

Zechs closed the door, moving to stand in front of Trowa, putting a hand on his
shoulder. "How long have you been training?"

"A little over three years, sir." Trowa stiffened subtly under the hand before
he forced himself to relax.

"It certainly shows," Zechs said quietly, pushing the hair back from Trowa's
face and kissing him gently, reaching a hand around to rest at the small of the
younger boy's back.

Trowa froze, terror and panic rushing through him. 'Oh, god, oh god, oh god.
This isn't happening. This can't be happening.'

Zechs took the movement as confusion, not panic. Feeling slightly encouraged,
he delicately traced the outline of Trowa's closed lips with his tongue, trying
to urge them open gently.

'Not again, not here! No, no...' "No!" Trowa pushed Zechs away.

'What?' Zechs stepped forward again, cupping Trowa's face in his hand.
"Trowa...? What are you doing?"

"Don't touch me!" Trowa jerked back, crossing the room to put space between
them. He leaned against the other wall and collapsed into himself.

Zechs stared at the crumpled boy on the other side of the room. 'Why... oh.
He's not comfortable with the touch of another man...?' Walking over and
kneeling in front of the huddled figure, Zechs said as gently as he could, "I'm
afraid I have no choice in the matter, Trowa."

Trowa shrank back as fresh panic rolled through him, fear leaving a bitter
taste in his mouth. 'No choice? Oh, no... no, no, no....' "Please, no."

"What?" Zechs teased, slightly feeling that something was amiss, but not
feeling sure enough to act on it. "Don't I look enough like a girl for you?" He
flipped his long blonde hair pointedly, raising Trowa's chin with a finger.

"It's...it's not that." Trowa tried to draw back again.

Zechs stopped him, grasping his shoulders and pulling him up into a
semi-sitting position. "Then just relax," Zechs murmured, rubbing Trowa's back
with one hand while the other hand found its way up Trowa's tunic to touch
skin.

The touch on bare skin sent him jerking away with a whimper. The shaking
started and he couldn't control it.

Being unsure was one thing, but shaking was quite another. Zechs' eyes flashed.
There was definitely something wrong. "Trowa...?" he asked tentatively, trying
not to scare the young man further.

"I...I can't." Trowa wrapped his arms around himself, hardly aware of where he
was. "Not again."

Moving forward, Zechs put a hand on Trowa's shoulder again, trying to break him
out of whatever he was in by physical touch from the real world. "Trowa," he
said more firmly.

Trowa flinched, now clearly lost. He cried out in a voice that was somehow
smaller, more vulnerable than his normal stoic tone. "Please don't hurt me."

"I'm not going to!" Zechs protested, then realized that Trowa wasn't talking to
him. "Come on, Trowa. Snap out of it!"

His tone seemed to only upset Trowa further. Trowa mumbled, almost incoherent,
"Nonono, please...I'll be good." His eyes stared through Zechs, filled with
terror and remembered pain.

Was Trowa hysterical? Zechs had read somewhere that you were supposed to slap
hysterical people. It didn't seem like the most kind thing to do, but he
steeled himself, brought his hand back, and slapped it across Trowa's face,
leaving a bright red handprint.

Trowa collapsed, clutching his cheek, beginning to sob. "Nonono, please stop,
please, don't touch me, please!" His voice rose to a pleading shout, almost
choked by his tears.

Zechs stared at Trowa, horrified. He considered calling for help, but then
remembered. He was the Trainer here. Trowa's welfare was his responsibility.
Then it hit him. Any touch was obviously not helping. He went for words;
soothing, soft words.

"Easy, Trowa. Nobody's going to hurt you. You're all right. You're safe. Shh,
easy now. It's okay. Come back, Trowa. Nobody's going to hurt you. You're safe.
Nobody's going to hurt you."

Trowa curled into a ball. Though subtle, his sobs appeared to be lessening.
"Won't hurt me?"

"No. I won't hurt you," Zechs said carefully, keeping his tone gentle.

The sobs slackened. Trowa mumbled, "Won't hurt...I'm safe, safe." He kept
repeating the words, his voice slowly becoming firmer as he regained control.

"You're safe." Zechs resisted the urge to hug Trowa, knowing that it would only
set him off again. "Safe," he affirmed. "I won't hurt you. You're safe."

Trowa gradually grew silent, taking long shuddering breaths. He slowly grew
aware of his surroundings. He was in Zechs' quarters, where he'd tried to-
Trowa's head jerked up and he stared at his Trainer, kneeling near him. He
nearly panicked again. 'Oh, god, I just lost it in front of my Trainer.'

"Are you okay now?" Zechs asked, voice free of annoyance and anger. He met
Trowa's eyes, sending a message of concern, not pity.

Trowa nodded, swallowing to clear his throat. "Y-yes sir."

Zechs lifted himself off his knees, settling down on the floor, crossing his
legs. "Want to tell me about it?"

"I..." He stopped, drawing his stoic cloak more firmly around him, so that it
sounded almost as if he was speaking of someone else. "I was...abused before I
came to the Guild."

"You underestimate my intelligence, Trowa. I know that. I mean, by who? When?"
He almost added 'why' but realized it was a stupid question.

Trowa looked at his hands. "I was 11. I'm an orphan. I was living in the
house of a merchant, learning the trade. He...he thought that meant he owned
me."

Zechs almost visibly flinched. It was so close to the Guild's workings, it was
unnerving. "That's similar to the way things work here." He bit his lip.
"Please don't panic... I'm not going to force myself on you or anything... but
I meant it when I said I have no choice. And that means you don't either."

Trowa jumped, clearly wanting to panic, but trying to obey Zechs. "I...I don't
think..."

Pursing his lips, Zechs waited patiently for Trowa to continue.

"I'm not sure that I can." Trowa finished.

Zechs caught Trowa's gaze again. "If you don't face it now, when will you ever?
I can help you, or at least try to."

Trowa continued to stare at him, and then nodded jerkily. "You're right."

Racking his brain for an idea, one finally came. Zechs sighed slightly. "Just
in case something beyond the... well, normal... happens, we can have a safe
word. Stop won't work, since you appear to say that a lot in these situations.
Any ideas?"

"How about...if I say something about lions?" Trowa suggested after a moment's
thought.

Zechs nodded. "Say lioness. Okay?"

"Lioness. Got it." He looked vaguely reassured.

"Just remember... you're in control this time. If you don't like it, you can
stop it. Nobody's going to hurt you or make you do anything." With those words,
Zechs pulled Trowa against him gently, coaxing him into a kiss.

Trowa allowed himself to be pulled and kissed, passive beneath the touch. His
mind ran through the associated horrors, but Zechs' words anchored him to the
present, allowing him to see past the memories. When he wasn't busy panicking,
he realized kissing was a surprisingly pleasant sensation. He tentatively
moved his lips in mimicry of his Trainer's, faintly amused to be learning from
him even in this.

Zechs smiled into the kiss, deciding to take the step that had first set Trowa
off in the beginning. His tongue snaked out hesitantly to lap at Trowa's lips,
silently asking for entry... not demanding it.

Trowa was ready for the flash of panic and ignored by sheer force of will. Now
that Zechs had pointed out to him the folly of trying to ignore the experience,
he refused to let it rule him. He parted his lips for Zechs, though the
gesture was slow and reluctant.

Carefully, slowly, Zechs slid his tongue into Trowa's mouth, trying not to
scare him. He wrapped an arm around Trowa's middle, drawing him closer.

He stiffened, whimpering softly, but didn't fight. 'He's not going to hurt
you....you're in control, you're in control.' The thought returned a small
measure of calm, allowing him to relax, or at least enough that he wasn't a
statue in Zechs' arm. He relaxed further when he found that Zechs' tongue was
just a pleasant as his lips.

Zechs pulled away after a moment, tucking back some of Trowa's hair behind his
ears. "You could respond, you know," he chuckled. He leaned back into the kiss,
deepening it immediately. His tongue found its place again, and he waited to
see what Trowa would do after what he'd said.

Trowa sat still for a long moment, pondering his words. Then his tongue
ventured out to meet the benign invader, instinctively curling around it.
Trowa almost shivered. That was definitely pleasant. Experimentally he
flicked his tongue out, testing the texture of Zechs' lips.

Now or never. Steeling himself for a negative response, wishing he could just
prolong the kiss, Zechs pulled Trowa's shirt up with one hand, dancing his
fingers along the smooth skin with the other hand.

Frozen still, Trowa fought with his knee-jerk reaction. When he'd let himself
feel, rather than just react, he'd been enjoying it. There was nothing to say
that he wouldn't enjoy Zechs' touch on his skin. Still, he couldn't stop the
whimper.

"You're in control," Zechs whispered, keeping his touches soft and gentle. "You
can stop this whenever you want to. This is in your control." He reached a hand
up, dragging a slightly callused fingertip over a sugar-brown nipple.

"Oh!" The surprised sound passed Trowa's lips before he could control himself,
his body taking over and arching into the brief caress. "Do that again?"

Zechs nearly burst with happiness. Trowa was taking this much better than he'd
expected. "Of course." Bringing the finger to his mouth and dampening it, he
leaned up to give Trowa a quick kiss, swirling the finger around the same
nipple, leaving a faintly shimmering trail.

Trowa shivered. "I...I hadn't thought..."

"Now you know. This sort of thing isn't always negative." Zechs kissed his way
down Trowa's neck, licking down his chest and dipping his tongue into the
navel. "You're in control," he reassured Trowa, laying them both back on the
floor slowly.

As Zechs moved lower, Trowa started trembling. Negative tension tightened
muscles as the memories brushed his consciousness again. He kept repeating
Zechs' words in his head like a charm against the darkness. But they held it
at bay with a weakening will, his defense slowly crumbling.

Hesitating slightly, Zechs placed a hand on the bulge in Trowa's navy blue
uniform pants, squeezing firmly, watching Trowa's face intently for a reaction.

Conflicting feelings rushed through Trowa. The memories suddenly closed in on
him again, and fear closed his throat. But they couldn't gain a complete hold
on him, probably because of the unfamiliar sensation of pleasure racing along
his nerves. But the memories were still too close, and he pushed away,
breathing heavily. "Stop."

Zechs ignored the request... command?... and pushed up to follow Trowa as he
moved back, keeping his hand on the bulge and pushing, making rough circles on
it with his thumb. "Come on, Trowa," he encouraged.

He was answered with a panicked moan as Trowa was brought down by his own
traitorous body and poisoned mind. His body lay still except for small thrusts
of his hips into Zechs' touch, but his mind ran in circles within the cage of
his memories.

"You always had to give pleasure, didn't you? You never got any yourself,"
Zechs half-said, half-asked, relenting and pulling his hand back.

Trowa's eyes raised in shock to meet his Trainer's. Why had he stopped? HE
had never stopped. The rational part of his mind told him that Zechs wasn't
like the other man. Zechs had done this for him.

Zechs ran a hand through Trowa's hair, brushing it out of his face. "Am I
right?" he asked quietly.

Trowa nodded, struck by the gentleness of the gesture. "Yes, sir."

"Would you like to feel pleasure? Not give it, but unabashedly receive it? No
strings attached, nobody's forcing you, and you're in control." Zechs knew he
sounded cheesy, but the words were ones that Trowa needed to hear.

"Just pleasure, just because I want it?" Trowa's shock laced his tone, but
there was also a longing there. To do this because he wanted to, that was an
amazing idea, and could be an amazing sensation. "Alright."

Zechs smiled, and leaned down, carefully unzipping Trowa's pants and pulling
them down, the underwear following immediately. "You're in control," he
reminded Trowa before taking a teasing lick up the underside of Trowa's cock.

Trowa moaned. The jolt of hot pleasure sapped his strength while melting away
the memory induced resistance. Nothing in his memory had induced feelings like
this. He looked at Zechs in shock.

Giving Trowa a knowing nod and a smirk, Zechs leaned in again, this time
letting his mouth slowly slide down, engulfing Trowa inch by tantalizing inch.

Trowa couldn't take his eyes off the sight, just as he could hardly believe
what his Trainer was doing to him. Another soft moan escaped his lips, his
back arching, his hips thrusting up toward the wet warmth.

It would be quick, Zechs knew, and so he was determined to make it good. He
began sucking with fervor. Then, when he felt ready, he opened the back of his
throat and moved down further, enveloping Trowa in a deep-throat.

"Oh my god..." Trowa gasped, his eyes remained locked on the platinum hair even
as he became completely lost to the will of his body, striving for release.

Zechs sucked harder, swirling his tongue wherever it would reach, waiting for
Trowa's imminent release. He reached up to grab Trowa's hips, massaging them.

With a startled cry, Trowa climaxed. His hips jerked upwards, emptying himself
into the waiting mouth. It was unbelievable to him that a body could
experience something this intense and pleasurable and even more unbelievable
that it happened to him.

Swallowing it all, Zechs leaned up, sharing the taste with Trowa in a deep
kiss. Trowa's wide eyes met his Trainer's, gasping against the kiss in shock.

"Hmm?" Zechs pulled back, licking his lips slightly. "So what do you think?
Isn't as bad as you thought?"

Trowa shook his head wordlessly. No, it was far from what he'd thought.

~Owari~