Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Gundam Pilot's Line of Products ❯ The Gundam Pilot's Line of Products ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

KONBANWA MINNA



Anyway, FLAMES ARE NOT allowed. Otherwise, I'll turn yet even more immature than I was to begin with, track you down on FF.net, then go through your fics, and purposely criticize you back with some strong language. ::Glares… then grins:: Otherwise, you're safe from me. If you disapprove of my writing, say so in the review POLITELY, otherwise I'll continue to use a certain type of bashing technique, etc. To those of you who have already complained about the excessive Wufei and Relena bashing, ::sigh:: I'm in a slightly good mood, meaning I'll not bash Wufei (that much), and Relena isn't in here so don't worry. Alright, I'll discontinue my ramble and begin the story. ^-^;;

The Gundam Pilots' Line of Products
By Kaen-chan ^.~v

Heero's Line of Products:


Extra Effective, Never Failing Self-detonation Device™: Created with a number of explosives that is surely bound to destroy everything in a 50 yard radius, this compatible little toy is made to kill you and everything around you… Unlike another product that never works. ::A scene of Duo going at his self-detonating device with a sledge hammer::
Gundanium Spandex and Tank tops™: Made with 99.9 % gundanium and 0.1% fabric, these clothing items are indeed worth their expense of *cough* and will make your shopping life a lot easier.
Hammer Space™: Wondering where to put your wide array of weapons? Well now you can store them in the vast endless area of HS™. You can install it anywhere. Your spandex shorts ::Scene with Heero taking out a flame-thrower from his pocket calmly::, from your hair ::Duo and braid, need I say more?::, your extremely thin/tight pants or your unibang ::Trowa fishing out a Slim-fast shake from his pocket::, or even in mid air :: Wufei and katana… a classic example… Scene with Wufei whipping out his katana from mid-air and runs screaming after a laughing Duo::


Duo's Line of Products:


Fast Growing Hair Formula™: Want to know how Shinigami gets his hair to be a yard long in less than ten years? Well now the secret is reveled with this new growth formula. Made with Gundanium wax (for shinier hair), this new substance can improve the outlook of your hair.
Scythe making kit™: Who is your favorite pilot? (Scene with Duo glaring at you: If it is Heero, I'll blast ya to h*ll ::Gomen Heero-kun! T-T::) No doubt it is Shinigami! <Dekiru nodding furiously. Kaen gagging in disgust> Well now all you future deities, to become a step closer into becoming a Shinigami clone, you'll need to be in possession of a scythe. This kit will provide you with 1 gundanium scythe blade, gundanium adhesives, and a gundanium staff to create your own utensil of destruction! {Kaen: <drooling over the weapon> Dekiru: <Trying to pry Kaen off the kit>}


Trowa's Line of Products:


Gundanium Hair Gel™: The eight wonder of the world… The unibang. The secret to this magnificent object? The use of really long bangs and the Gundanium Hair Gel™! In the combination of Gundanium wax (see Duo's for the use) and Gundanium rubber cement, you'll be able to create your own dazzling designs. ::Scene with Trowa trying to pull a comb through his hair, fails miserably and 'comb' is on the shopping list again.::
Gattling Guns™: Now in greater proportions, the bullet spewing weapons are now on sale! ::A five minute run of a MS being overridden with ammo::


Quatre's Line of Products:


Camel Plushy™: Need something to cuddle with when a Chinese fights with an American? Well these large soft dolls are just what you need! With 60% real camel hair, 30% silk, and 10% cashmere, these kawaii dolls are bound to take away your misery!
Winner Tea™: Wanna be a true winner, instead of a loser? ::Scene with Quatre hugging his teabags:: Then try our new, multi flavored tea. Now with 45% more caffeine! ::Scene with Quatre going Zero:: You'll find the adrenaline rush of Gundanium caffeine pounding through your blood exhilirating! <Kaen: Anou, these might as well be the Gundanium line of products ^^;;>


Wufei's Line of Products:


Gundanium Polishing Wax™: Want to your MS how much you love it? Then purchase this Waxing kit to prove your undying devotion. ::Seen where Wufei is lovingly applying the polish to Altron Custom:: Make you MS shine and blind all those around you with its beauty! ::The other G-boys are staggering and shielding their eyes at the blazing Nataku while Wufei bows to his MS wearing a pair of very nice shades::
Maxwell Voodoo Dolls™: Irritated with a particular American? ::Scene with Duo laughing at a gagged Wufei:: Well now you may take out your stress with the Maxwell Voodoo Doll™! If you stick a pin in the shoulder, it will pain the real Maxwell. Cut the braid… Bye bye chestnut locks! Stick a pin in his butt ::Gomen Duo fans! I'm not doing this on purpose! ^^;; This is only for entertainment. I think Shinigami is cool… after Trowa and Heero ^^;;::… And let's not think about it! Purchase it today! It is better than those weakling stress balls!


~Owari~

Yosh, now I'll say oyasumimasai! ::Sweatdrop:: Just wait… I'll be sleeping over my homework before you know it! XD ::cackles:: Remember, R&R, and don't forget I'm desperate for advise for the Guide to Life fics! Ja ^.~v