Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The GW Survival Contest ❯ May I have the envelope please? ( Chapter 10 )

:( Well this is it. The end of the survival contest. I got the last part up finally! I hope you enjoyed this story.

Disclaimer Thingy: Let's see...I don't own FedEx, Dell, UPS, or Gundam Wing.

The GW Survival Contest

Part Ten: May I have the envelope, please?

:::On tiny Bear Island, the GW cast and I are waiting patiently for the votes to come in. Quatre and Trowa are playing a friendly game of tic-tac-toe in the sand; Duo, Relena, and Hilde are teaching themselves how to do the hula; and Wufei is calmly meditating. The rest are either chatting or plotting my demise.:::

Dfire: *checks her watch* Any minute now...

Zechs: That's what you said half an hour ago.

Dfire: Well, you can't rush the postal service. UPS ain't speed mail ya know.

Heero: When do we get our stuff back?

Dfire: After the UPS man gets here. He has all of you guys' stuff: Trowa's Super X-tra Strength Hairspray, a crapload of guns, Cathy's knives, Heero's laptop, Wufei's katana..

Wufei: *opens one eye still in meditation pose* You stupid woman! You left my precious katana in the hands of such evil?

Dfire: What the heck are you talking about?

Wufei: FedEx is the service of justice, not UPS.

Hilde: Don't you know what UPS stands for? U piece of sh--

Dfire: Oh, you two shut up! Keep on with your meditating and hula dancing! This is the last part of my fic and I don't need any bashing off postal services and cussing right now. I need to keep that G rating ya know, plus I don't want men dressed in brown uniforms to come after me.

:::Wufei and Hilde return to what they were doing and I went to wait by a palm tree. Finally, ten minutes later, a brown plane flies above the island:::

Dfire: There it is! The UPS plane!

Une: I didn't even know there was such a thing.

Dfire: They're a little late but that's okay. I also had them bring some extra clothes for all of you.

Duo: Thanks, girl. I'm getting tired of wearing this grass skirt. It makes me itch.

Treize: *peering up at the plane* Are they going to land here?

Noin: Yeah, how are they going to bring everything down here? Are they going to have someone jump down here in a parachute?

Dfire: Err, they said that landing the plane on a tropical/forest island would be difficult so they're planning on sending the cargo down here from the plane.

Trowa: You mean they're just going to dump our stuff from up there?!!

Dfire: Don't panic you guys, I paid good money. They should handle your stuff with care...as if it were glass.

:::As if on cue, a large bundle is tossed off the plane and tumbles down towards us without a parachute. The plane quickly flies away:::

Quatre: Eeek! It's heading straight for us!

Zechs: Everybody move back!

:::A big box and bag tied onto it land harshly on the sandy beach. From inside, we could easily hear something shatter.:::

Sally: As if it were glass, eh Dfire?

Dfire: Oops...uh...I'm sure they're fine. *nervous laugh* I'm sure nothing broke.

Duo: Geez, that didn't sound good when it landed. What was that?

Trowa: It sounded like a laptop.

Heero: WHAT?!

:::Everyone races to the luggage and digs through the box pulling out stuff. Heero pulls out a big chunk of smashed glass and plastics:::

Duo: Oh man, Heero. That's your laptop.

Cathy: Or at least what's left of it.

Heero: That was my new Dell you *#$@%!!

Relena: *searching through the box* Well, I don't think anything else is broken.

Wufei: Aaaahhh!!!

Relena: Guess not.

Wufei: My katana!!! It's been broken in two!!

Dfire: It's okay Wufei, it's not so bad. Now you got two katanas.

Wufei *face turning red with anger* Prepare to die, ONNA!!

Dfire: AAAAAHHHHHH!! *I duck as the Chinese boy lunges at me with his broken sword. Then he does a kung fu Mortal Kombat move on me, but I barely escape* Wait!! Wait!! If you kill me we'll never know who won--and no one will get prize money!

Sally: Calm down, Wufei. Let's let her finish her job. The sooner she's done, the sooner we can go home.

Wufei: Okay. But you die as soon as you're done.

Dfire: *nervously pulls out an envelope from the bag* Alright. Here are the results. Drumroll please...

::::Drums rumble from an unknown source:::

Dfire: We got one vote for the guys, one vote for...Lady Une?!

Une: A wise person indeed.

Dfire: Three votes for: nobody wins.

G-boys and g-gals: O.o

Wufei: The injustice!!

Dfire: And the winner of my GW Survival Contest....O.O Both teams!!

G-boys and g-gals: Yaaahhhoooooo!!!

Sally: What?!

Wufei: Injustice!! The nerve of these people. How did we both win? It was clear that us men won.

Sally: *raises eyebrow* Men?

Hilde: I thought we beat you.

Wufei: We went through a lot more and still survived. We had to wear these stupid grass skirts.

Hilde: We had to eat squirrel-kabobs! A freakin' tree rodent on a stick!

Wufei: We had to listen to Yuy's stupid ghost stories and put up with Winner's whimpering of abuse to animals.

Dfire: Listen! Both of you guys suff--um, I mean, went through a lot on this trip. I think it's fair that both teams win.

Relena: So do I. Now that we know we all won, let's get out of here.

Duo: Not without my money.

Dorothy: Well, I hope your satisfied, Dfire. We suffered for your dear fanfic readers' pleasure.

Dfire: *looking innocent* Suffered?

Cathy: Do you have any idea what we've been through?

Dfire: Actually, yes I do.

Heero: We were attacked by a skunk, we had to dress like fags, we were chased by a mad pirateboy, we were bombarded by coconuts.

Relena: My hair was set on fire and Dorothy went crazy.

Dfire: I know exactly what happened to you. I saw the whole thing. On this island, I put about fifty different hidden cameras before you arrived.

OZ, G-boys and g-girls: Gaaahhh!!

Dorothy: You mean you had us on camera the whole time!??!!

Zechs: And with my hair looking like this?

Dfire: Yes. ^__^ *whips out a VHS cassette* And I have it all on tape for everyone to enjoy.

Quatre: You---you evil thing!

Wufei: She's crazy.

Cathy: She's mad!

Marameia: She's good. I need to learn from her.

Duo: Injustice!!

Wufei: That's my line, Maxwell.

Duo: Sorry, Wu-man.

Wufei: -__-

Dfire: Yup. From the time you were paddling your way to the island and up until my arrival today, I've been taping you guys 24/7. I think this will get me some fame in the next anime convention. Only seven bucks per tape. *flashes a cheesy smile*

:::Heero quickly snatches the tape from my hands, throws it into the air, and with his reunited gun shoots it into a million pieces:::

Sally: Good Heero, destroy the evidence.

Dfire: That's okay. I've got two thousand copies back at my house.

Heero: *points his gun at me* I will kill you now.

Dfire: *floodcrying* Please don't kill me! I just started college a few months ago. If you kill me I'll never graduate, I'll never have a job, I'll never get married!

Heero: You should have thought of that before you smashed my computer and made my life miserable...say goodbye.

Relena: Wait!!

Heero: Da*% it, Relena! Don't interrupt me this time.

Relena: But we need her to get us off this island.

Wufei: And she still hasn't given us our money yet.

Heero: Fine. But hurry up.

Dfire: *pulls out a giant check bigger than the ones people win in sweepstakes from fanfic space* That'll be 2,500 for each of you.

Hilde: *stares at the check I gave her.* What?! Only 2,500!?

Dfire: That's what I said. *grunting as I pull out another jumbo-sized check* If you don't want it, I'll have it.

Cathy: *awkwardly carrying her giant check* Did you know that there was treasure on this island?

Dfire: Nope, I didn't. Did you guys find it?

Treize: No, but we all tried to.

Une: And we would have had it if someone else hadn't got to it first.

Trowa: *watches as I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out his giant check* Where are those coming from?

Quatre: Um, Dfire?

Dfire: Yes, Quatre?

Quatre: How do we get back home?

Dfire: I don't see the boat that I hired someone to bring, so I guess you'll just have to figure it out.

Wufei: How are you getting back?

Dfire: My jet ski of course.

Wufei: And where is your jet ski? I don't see one.

Dfire: It's right here with me. *poof!* There it is. Ain't she a beaut?

Noin: Did she just make that jet ski just poof out of nowhere?

Relena: You'll get used to it.

Dfire: *starts to leave but turns back* Oh, I almost forgot!

GW Peeps: WHAT!?!?!

Dfire: Before you go, I have one more thing that you have to do for me and all the readers out there.

Sally: And what is that? -__-

Dfire: The winners are supposed to do a special performance for us. Did I forget to mention that?

Duo: Yes, you did. And I'm not doing it.

Dorothy: Neither will I.

Dfire: You have to.

Duo: Why?

Dfire: Because...um...

Duo: Because...?

Dfire: Because if you guys don't then I'll make a sequel to this fic.

Everyone: What do we have to do?

Dfire: *grinning menacingly, and pulls out a fur miniskirt* Which one of you is a size six?

**************************A little later*********

:::A shot of the beautiful tropical island and all it's glory. Then the camera zooms in on the gundam boys and girls, all dressed in skimpy fur outfits.:::

Wufei: Of all the evil injustice you've bestowed upon us, this has got to be the worst! I'm dressed like a woman!

Quatre: Does this skirt make me look fat?

Dfire: You guys are supposed to be singing. Now sing and look sexy for the audience!

*Quatre and Sally pose in front of the waterfall with their skimpy fur outfits, Sally lets the water drip down her when Quatre, whose making his way across, accidentally slips on a rock and knocks her down*

I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up,

*Wufei, Dorothy, and Trowa raise their voices high in chorus their shrill voices almost breaking my eardrums*

I'm not gonna stop, I'm gonna work harder!

:::Just imagine the Gundam peeps in Destiny's Child Survivor video and you get the idea:::

Dfire: STOP!! EVERYONE STOP!!!

Hilde: But we were just getting to the good part.

Dfire: Uh, no. I've decided that just a part of the song is good enough for the finale of the fic.

Duo: I didn't know Wufei's voice could get so high.

Quatre: I didn't know I looked so good in leopard print.

Sally: Still we have a problem. How do we get off this island?

Dfire: Well, you guys can use your checks to float on and paddle your way back.

Heero: *rips off his zebra skin tanktop and points gun at me* I'm not doing that again. You're finished.

Cathy: Let's get her! *pulls out her knives*

Dfire: O.O uh oh... *frantically runs away from the shower of knives with the gundam people running after her*

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Dfire: *now with a bunch of bandages wrapped around forehead and a cast on the left arm* Well that wraps it up. Thank you to all those who reviewed and voted. I hope all of you enjoyed this fic. It was a crazy yet fun trip while it lasted, but I'm sure the Gundam Wing people are happy it's over. I bid you adieu. *bows*

Oh! You're probably still wondering what happened to Pinkbeard's treasure. I guess no one will ever know.

*She turns to walk away. Two sixteenth-century gold coins and a diamond necklace fall from her pants and fall onto the floor*

THE END ^^