Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Hard Working Life of the Gundam Pilots ❯ Lawyers...Nuff Said. ( Chapter 7 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Yasashii 
Wufei has a little lawsuit on his hands...so he goes to see a lawyer. Of course, his lawyer is one of the sneakiest rats on the planet...Trieze.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.29.2001 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 290 | Status: Completed
Wufei has a little lawsuit on his hands...so he goes to see a lawyer. Of course, his lawyer is one of the sneakiest rats on the planet...Trieze.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.29.2001 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 290 | Status: Completed
The Hard Working Life of the Gundam Pilots 07
by: Yasashii 'the aggressive kitsune'
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: I did a little self insertion in this chapter. There are two of my friends
I'd like you all to meet. First, there's Eyodius Belladonna. She's basically my partner in
crime and she's the one who brought out my psychotic side. Then there's Lunette. She's a
kitsune (like myself)and she's my cousin. She and Eyo have this thing for Himura Kenshin and
fight over him all the time. Eyo usually comes out the victor. Well, that's the very basic
scoop on them, so on with the fic!
~Yasashii ;)
Disclaimer: Well, lets just say that I'm not rich and leave it at that.
The scene opens in front of a big office building at least 20 stories high. Above the front
door, "OZ Lawers" are written in big gold letters. The doors open, revealing a very pristine
appearence. There are elevators and hallways up the wazoo, but since we have one particular
office in mind, we'll just zoom in there.
The office in question is rather large. It has expensive pictures hanging on the wall, deep
navy carpet, and in one corner is a white leather sofa which is never used. In the other corner,
there is a big oak desk (you know, the kind you could play regulation ping-pong off of) with a
computer sitting on top of it. We hear the furious clacking of a keyboard followed by curses that
would have given your grandmother a heart attack. Over the doomed computer, a few golden brown
locks of hair can be seen. A hand reaches to the left and pushes a button. The door swings open,
revealing Relena Peacecraft in a business outfit.
Relena: Yes, Mr. Trieze?
Trieze leans back in his white leather chair, locking his hands behind his head. He eyes
Relena, wondering why she was working here. He really wanted to get rid of her, but she was doing
an annoyingly good job. Oh, well.
Treize: Miss Relena, I would like to see my case assignments.
Relena: Yes, sir. Right away. (Begins to leave)
Trieze: Oh, and Miss Relena?
Relena: (Turns around hastily, plastering a smile on her face) Yes?
Trieze: I left a box in the trunk of my car. I believe this room needs some accessorizing, so I
brought the necessary items. please retrieve it. (tosses her the keys to his BMW)
Relena: Of course. (As she shuts the door, we see a picture of her taped on the back of the door
with a bullseye drawn on it)
Relena returns a few moments later with a stack of files and plotps them down of Trieze's
desk. She leaves, complaining about how she broke a nail. Trieze waits a few moments, then he
opens a desk drawer and pulls out a handful of darts. He throws one at Relena's picture, and it
hits the left eye. He then looks dejectedly at his computer.
Trieze: You just can't play cards on the computer. It always cheats.
Just then, a certain someone named Dorothy burst into the office. At first, Trieze didn't
recognize her, but that was mainly because most of her hair was missing and her eyebrows were
shaved off. She had a wild look in her eyes that basically said
"I'll get my revenge, God damnit!!"
Dorothy: I must sue him! He must not live financially well off for what he did to me!
Trieze: Who?
Dorothy: (runs her fingers over her now buzzed hair)Quatre Raberba Winner, of course. He. Cut. My.
Hair!
Trieze: Why did you let him cut your hair?
Dorothy: I didn't LET him! He must've cut it while I was asleep!
Trieze: If you were sleeping, how do you know it was him?
Dorothy: Who else would?
Trieze: (whistles, as if he hadn't heard such a stupid question)
Dorothy: Can't I sue him for sexual harrassment or breaking and entering or something?
Trieze: Not without proof.
Dorothy: Fine! I'll get proof! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (runs out like a madwoman)
As she is leaving, she runs into someone who is trying to enter the office. They both
tumble to the ground, with Dorothy's face getting up close and personal with the floor, and the
unknown person sitting on her back. With surprising strength, Dorothy leaps up to a vertical
stance, sending the other person across the ofice, over Trieze's head, and against the wall. He
looked rather like a bug on a windshield. Trieze stands up and closes the door and looks behind
him at his flattened client.
Trieze: Wufei, jsut how do you propose I peel you off the wall?
Wufei: (In a muffled and pained voice) Oh, shut up you sadistic, manipulating freak and help me
down from here!
Trieze does so and Wufei brushes himself off, feeling very disoriented. We see that he is
wearing a shirt that says "I love vacuums. They clean up the injustice in the world." across the
front. He sits in a chair across from Trieze's desk, looking like he'd rather jump out a window
that be there at the moment.
Trieze: Well, Wufei, what brings you here?
Wufei: Look in that folder which you have neglected all week.
Trieze looks at the folder, which has been left suspiciously untouched all week. There was
a layer of dust on it, and various bugs were walking across it.
Trieze: (lifting one elegant eyebrow) I didn't know dust collected that fast.
Trieze picks up the folder and scans it. As his eyes move back and forth over the paper, he
"hmmed" and "uh huh"ed to himself until he reached the top of the third page. His eyes stopped
and widened in surprise. He flipped between pages two and three to make sure he read right. He
then put down the file and looked at Wufei as if he were an alien.
Trieze: You sucked up a cat with a vacuum?!
Wufei: Yes.
Trieze: As far as I know, vacuums don't kill cats. Can't you just retrieve it from the bag?
Wufei: No, I modified it.
Trieze: What do you mean, "modified"?
Wufie: I put a meat grinder in the hose.
Trieze: (rubs his temples in frustration) What in God's name were you thinking?!
Wufei: It's my justice vacuum. It sucks up anything evil. Hey, is there anything evil in here?
Trieze: Nooo...... anyway, your trial is a month from now and figuring out a defense for you will
be rather tricky....
Trieze whips out a pen and pad of paper with a logo on the top: "OZ Layers. We may be
assholes, but we eventually get the job done." He began jotting down notes and figures, involving
bungee jumping, Scooby Doo amd meatloaf. Satisfied, he looked up at Wufei, who had a quizzical
look on his face.
Trieze: What are you staring at?
Wufei points behind him at a huge glass window. Trieze turns around, and becomes very
puzzled himself. Somehow, there are three girls hanging by ropes outside the window. One is
Yasashii, who is in the middle. The one on the right is also a kitsune with straight silver hair
and ears and slate colored eyes. the girl on the left had shoulder length red hair and violet
eyes. All were smiling psychotically and waving madly at Wufei. they also wore shirts that said
"I Love Wufei!" (the "love" was actually a heart with Wufei's head in the middle)
Wufei: What the Hell?!......(Yasashii gives Wufei the thumbs up sign)
Voice: (yelling from above) Hey, Eyo! I can't hold you guys up there forever!! (the redhead
looks up)
Eyodius: Just a couple more minutes, Heero! We just got their attention! (blows a kiss at Wufei)
Yasashii: (smacks Lunette, who's just staring off into space) Hey, Lunette, are you just going to
fantasize about Kenshin all day, or are you going to help us support Wufei?
Lunette: Eh? Oh! (winks at Wufei) Happy now? (goes back to her own little dream world)
Eyodius: You Bitch! Kenshin is MINE! You can't have him!
Eyo reaches for Lunette's throat, but misses and shoves Yasashii instead. Yasashii collides
with Lunette and Lunette crashes through the window, landing on Trieze. Eyo takes a pocket knife
and cuts through the rope that Heero was using to hold her up. She leaped through the window as
well. She had a pychotic gleam in her eyes as Lunette ran like a bat outta Hell into the
hallway. Eyo begins the hunt, when Wufei's voice stops her.
Wufei: Hey, Eyo, aren't you a kuroitenshi?
Eyodius: Yeaaaaaaahhh....
Wufei: So, um, then why were you hanging by a rope if you can float?
Eyodius: (pouts cutely) Yasashii made me. (points at Yasashii, is still hanging outside with a
vacant expression on her face) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a kitsune to kill. Bye! (runs
out, leaving flame tracks in her wake)
Yasashii leaps in and takes a seat next to Wufei. She examines her finger nails and
whistles a tune to herself. She looks up, seeing Wufei and Trieze staring at her expectantly.
Yasashii: Don't worry, she'll be back. I'll just wait here. You can pretend I'm not here.
So, Wufei and Trieze began the conversation anew. Bu Yasashii was making it difficult to
get anything done.
Yasashii: What does this button do?
Trieze: AHHHHH! You crashed my computer!!
Yasashii: Oops. Hey, what's that do? (all the lights go out) Hehe. My bad.
So,they talked in the dark until, suddenly, the lights go back on, revealing Eyo by the
light switch, and she had a satisfied smirk on her face. She walks up to Wufei and picks him up,
chair and all, and she and Yasashii parade out of the room with Wufei sitting on their shoulders.
Needless to say, the meeting was over. Just then, Relena comes back carying a huge box and plops
it down on Trieze's desk. He holds out an expectant hand for his car keys. Relena just looks at
him quizically.
Trieze: Miss Relena, where are my keys?
Relena: What keys?
Trieze: The ones you opened the trunk with.
Relena: Oh! Those! (makes hand motions as she tries to remember what happened to them) Ah! I
remember. I, uh, I think I accidentally locked them in your trunk.
Trieze's head drops to his desk and his shoulders shake. Relena begins to think that he
might be crying, so she moved behind him and laid a "comforting" hand on his shoulder. Trieze
suddenly stands, actually shaking with rage. The motion sends Relena tumbling back and she falls
through the gaping hole that used to be the window. Trieze looked out the "window" and shrugged.
He felt rather stressed, so he decided to go home early. He would call the locksmith and the
agency(for a new secretary) tomorrow. He pulled out a bottle of brandy and began to idly sip from
it. He makes his way to the elevator and pushes the down button. As the doors slide open, Trieze
comes face to face with Lunette, who is hanging upside down from the ceiling. She is gagged, her
hands are tied behind her back and she was bound at the ankles to the top of the elevator.
Trieze just casually stands next to her while she squirms and tries to voice her protests
about Eyo. The elevator stops and the doors slide open and Trieze walks leisurely out to the
street. As soon as he's on the sidewalk, he pours out all the brandy, thinking that the kitsune
hanging in the elevator was an illusion caused by alcohol. He runs his hand through his golden
brown hair and sighs.
Trieze: Today has just not been my day...
End.... or is it?
Nope, it's not. I still have the trial to finish. Just a little note: I like to insert my
friends and I into my fics. This is not a selfish act! If you send me flames, they will
probably be laughed at. Well, ja!
~Yasashii ;)
by: Yasashii 'the aggressive kitsune'
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: I did a little self insertion in this chapter. There are two of my friends
I'd like you all to meet. First, there's Eyodius Belladonna. She's basically my partner in
crime and she's the one who brought out my psychotic side. Then there's Lunette. She's a
kitsune (like myself)and she's my cousin. She and Eyo have this thing for Himura Kenshin and
fight over him all the time. Eyo usually comes out the victor. Well, that's the very basic
scoop on them, so on with the fic!
~Yasashii ;)
Disclaimer: Well, lets just say that I'm not rich and leave it at that.
The scene opens in front of a big office building at least 20 stories high. Above the front
door, "OZ Lawers" are written in big gold letters. The doors open, revealing a very pristine
appearence. There are elevators and hallways up the wazoo, but since we have one particular
office in mind, we'll just zoom in there.
The office in question is rather large. It has expensive pictures hanging on the wall, deep
navy carpet, and in one corner is a white leather sofa which is never used. In the other corner,
there is a big oak desk (you know, the kind you could play regulation ping-pong off of) with a
computer sitting on top of it. We hear the furious clacking of a keyboard followed by curses that
would have given your grandmother a heart attack. Over the doomed computer, a few golden brown
locks of hair can be seen. A hand reaches to the left and pushes a button. The door swings open,
revealing Relena Peacecraft in a business outfit.
Relena: Yes, Mr. Trieze?
Trieze leans back in his white leather chair, locking his hands behind his head. He eyes
Relena, wondering why she was working here. He really wanted to get rid of her, but she was doing
an annoyingly good job. Oh, well.
Treize: Miss Relena, I would like to see my case assignments.
Relena: Yes, sir. Right away. (Begins to leave)
Trieze: Oh, and Miss Relena?
Relena: (Turns around hastily, plastering a smile on her face) Yes?
Trieze: I left a box in the trunk of my car. I believe this room needs some accessorizing, so I
brought the necessary items. please retrieve it. (tosses her the keys to his BMW)
Relena: Of course. (As she shuts the door, we see a picture of her taped on the back of the door
with a bullseye drawn on it)
Relena returns a few moments later with a stack of files and plotps them down of Trieze's
desk. She leaves, complaining about how she broke a nail. Trieze waits a few moments, then he
opens a desk drawer and pulls out a handful of darts. He throws one at Relena's picture, and it
hits the left eye. He then looks dejectedly at his computer.
Trieze: You just can't play cards on the computer. It always cheats.
Just then, a certain someone named Dorothy burst into the office. At first, Trieze didn't
recognize her, but that was mainly because most of her hair was missing and her eyebrows were
shaved off. She had a wild look in her eyes that basically said
"I'll get my revenge, God damnit!!"
Dorothy: I must sue him! He must not live financially well off for what he did to me!
Trieze: Who?
Dorothy: (runs her fingers over her now buzzed hair)Quatre Raberba Winner, of course. He. Cut. My.
Hair!
Trieze: Why did you let him cut your hair?
Dorothy: I didn't LET him! He must've cut it while I was asleep!
Trieze: If you were sleeping, how do you know it was him?
Dorothy: Who else would?
Trieze: (whistles, as if he hadn't heard such a stupid question)
Dorothy: Can't I sue him for sexual harrassment or breaking and entering or something?
Trieze: Not without proof.
Dorothy: Fine! I'll get proof! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (runs out like a madwoman)
As she is leaving, she runs into someone who is trying to enter the office. They both
tumble to the ground, with Dorothy's face getting up close and personal with the floor, and the
unknown person sitting on her back. With surprising strength, Dorothy leaps up to a vertical
stance, sending the other person across the ofice, over Trieze's head, and against the wall. He
looked rather like a bug on a windshield. Trieze stands up and closes the door and looks behind
him at his flattened client.
Trieze: Wufei, jsut how do you propose I peel you off the wall?
Wufei: (In a muffled and pained voice) Oh, shut up you sadistic, manipulating freak and help me
down from here!
Trieze does so and Wufei brushes himself off, feeling very disoriented. We see that he is
wearing a shirt that says "I love vacuums. They clean up the injustice in the world." across the
front. He sits in a chair across from Trieze's desk, looking like he'd rather jump out a window
that be there at the moment.
Trieze: Well, Wufei, what brings you here?
Wufei: Look in that folder which you have neglected all week.
Trieze looks at the folder, which has been left suspiciously untouched all week. There was
a layer of dust on it, and various bugs were walking across it.
Trieze: (lifting one elegant eyebrow) I didn't know dust collected that fast.
Trieze picks up the folder and scans it. As his eyes move back and forth over the paper, he
"hmmed" and "uh huh"ed to himself until he reached the top of the third page. His eyes stopped
and widened in surprise. He flipped between pages two and three to make sure he read right. He
then put down the file and looked at Wufei as if he were an alien.
Trieze: You sucked up a cat with a vacuum?!
Wufei: Yes.
Trieze: As far as I know, vacuums don't kill cats. Can't you just retrieve it from the bag?
Wufei: No, I modified it.
Trieze: What do you mean, "modified"?
Wufie: I put a meat grinder in the hose.
Trieze: (rubs his temples in frustration) What in God's name were you thinking?!
Wufei: It's my justice vacuum. It sucks up anything evil. Hey, is there anything evil in here?
Trieze: Nooo...... anyway, your trial is a month from now and figuring out a defense for you will
be rather tricky....
Trieze whips out a pen and pad of paper with a logo on the top: "OZ Layers. We may be
assholes, but we eventually get the job done." He began jotting down notes and figures, involving
bungee jumping, Scooby Doo amd meatloaf. Satisfied, he looked up at Wufei, who had a quizzical
look on his face.
Trieze: What are you staring at?
Wufei points behind him at a huge glass window. Trieze turns around, and becomes very
puzzled himself. Somehow, there are three girls hanging by ropes outside the window. One is
Yasashii, who is in the middle. The one on the right is also a kitsune with straight silver hair
and ears and slate colored eyes. the girl on the left had shoulder length red hair and violet
eyes. All were smiling psychotically and waving madly at Wufei. they also wore shirts that said
"I Love Wufei!" (the "love" was actually a heart with Wufei's head in the middle)
Wufei: What the Hell?!......(Yasashii gives Wufei the thumbs up sign)
Voice: (yelling from above) Hey, Eyo! I can't hold you guys up there forever!! (the redhead
looks up)
Eyodius: Just a couple more minutes, Heero! We just got their attention! (blows a kiss at Wufei)
Yasashii: (smacks Lunette, who's just staring off into space) Hey, Lunette, are you just going to
fantasize about Kenshin all day, or are you going to help us support Wufei?
Lunette: Eh? Oh! (winks at Wufei) Happy now? (goes back to her own little dream world)
Eyodius: You Bitch! Kenshin is MINE! You can't have him!
Eyo reaches for Lunette's throat, but misses and shoves Yasashii instead. Yasashii collides
with Lunette and Lunette crashes through the window, landing on Trieze. Eyo takes a pocket knife
and cuts through the rope that Heero was using to hold her up. She leaped through the window as
well. She had a pychotic gleam in her eyes as Lunette ran like a bat outta Hell into the
hallway. Eyo begins the hunt, when Wufei's voice stops her.
Wufei: Hey, Eyo, aren't you a kuroitenshi?
Eyodius: Yeaaaaaaahhh....
Wufei: So, um, then why were you hanging by a rope if you can float?
Eyodius: (pouts cutely) Yasashii made me. (points at Yasashii, is still hanging outside with a
vacant expression on her face) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a kitsune to kill. Bye! (runs
out, leaving flame tracks in her wake)
Yasashii leaps in and takes a seat next to Wufei. She examines her finger nails and
whistles a tune to herself. She looks up, seeing Wufei and Trieze staring at her expectantly.
Yasashii: Don't worry, she'll be back. I'll just wait here. You can pretend I'm not here.
So, Wufei and Trieze began the conversation anew. Bu Yasashii was making it difficult to
get anything done.
Yasashii: What does this button do?
Trieze: AHHHHH! You crashed my computer!!
Yasashii: Oops. Hey, what's that do? (all the lights go out) Hehe. My bad.
So,they talked in the dark until, suddenly, the lights go back on, revealing Eyo by the
light switch, and she had a satisfied smirk on her face. She walks up to Wufei and picks him up,
chair and all, and she and Yasashii parade out of the room with Wufei sitting on their shoulders.
Needless to say, the meeting was over. Just then, Relena comes back carying a huge box and plops
it down on Trieze's desk. He holds out an expectant hand for his car keys. Relena just looks at
him quizically.
Trieze: Miss Relena, where are my keys?
Relena: What keys?
Trieze: The ones you opened the trunk with.
Relena: Oh! Those! (makes hand motions as she tries to remember what happened to them) Ah! I
remember. I, uh, I think I accidentally locked them in your trunk.
Trieze's head drops to his desk and his shoulders shake. Relena begins to think that he
might be crying, so she moved behind him and laid a "comforting" hand on his shoulder. Trieze
suddenly stands, actually shaking with rage. The motion sends Relena tumbling back and she falls
through the gaping hole that used to be the window. Trieze looked out the "window" and shrugged.
He felt rather stressed, so he decided to go home early. He would call the locksmith and the
agency(for a new secretary) tomorrow. He pulled out a bottle of brandy and began to idly sip from
it. He makes his way to the elevator and pushes the down button. As the doors slide open, Trieze
comes face to face with Lunette, who is hanging upside down from the ceiling. She is gagged, her
hands are tied behind her back and she was bound at the ankles to the top of the elevator.
Trieze just casually stands next to her while she squirms and tries to voice her protests
about Eyo. The elevator stops and the doors slide open and Trieze walks leisurely out to the
street. As soon as he's on the sidewalk, he pours out all the brandy, thinking that the kitsune
hanging in the elevator was an illusion caused by alcohol. He runs his hand through his golden
brown hair and sighs.
Trieze: Today has just not been my day...
End.... or is it?
Nope, it's not. I still have the trial to finish. Just a little note: I like to insert my
friends and I into my fics. This is not a selfish act! If you send me flames, they will
probably be laughed at. Well, ja!
~Yasashii ;)