Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Love of a Woman ❯ The Love of a Woman ( Prologue )

The Love of a Woman

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

My baby knows me better than I do.

It's funny how a woman has that over a man.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Yellow wallpaper decorated the entire expanse of the kitchen. Bright, sunny yellow. The shade commonly seen on those annoying smiley face t-shirts. Every wall screamed bright, sunshiny yellow. The countertops were white, but the wooden cabinets had been painted yellow along with the walls. A white refrigerator gave some sort of relief from the constant stream of sickening, happy yellow. However, the stove was a custom model, made especially for this room with its insane color scheme. It was yellow. The flooring stared up at him with a yellow face speckled with sparse flecks of white.

Hiiro growled.

"Hiiro Yui," warned his wife, Relena, from across the room, "don't you dare." Her back was turned to him. Hiiro scowled and returned the gun to its proper place.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

I can do anything with her here beside me.

Leaning on her is where I make my stand.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

"N-Nani?"

Hiiro stared at the man before him, the Vulcan in a coat of white, stethoscope hanging about the neck he so wanted to strangle. The doctor sighed and clicked the pen back into its sheath, tucking it safely away into his coat pocket before lifting his apathetic eyes to Hiiro's own.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Yui," he said in a manner that revealed how little he cared. "It is strange, however. This type of cancer usually only appears in people who were exposed to excessive levels of radiation in youth. Did you work around any odd machinery as a teenager, Mr. Yui?"

Hiiro turned to look at Relena. She sat in the little metal chair provided for visitors, hands folded in her lap, legs crossed demurely at her ankles. Her blue eyes looked out from a slack mask of a face. Not even the slightest crease in her forehead gave hint at her feelings. Hiiro, however, knew her well enough to look for the small signs. Those hands clenched each other tightly. Her knuckles were nearly white. Slowly, ever so slowly, her head swiveled on her neck, dull eyes looking at him.

"Answer his question, Hiiro," she murmured.

He blinked and swallowed.

"Did you work around any odd machinery as a teenager?"

"Iie. No."

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

And where would we be without the love of a woman

Standing behind her man even when he's wrong?

The true, pure, undying love of a woman

Makes a man a fool to think he could make it alone.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

"Hiiro Yui, I swear . . ."

He glared at her. He had been quite good at glaring as a fifteen year old. Almost twenty years passed since then, and his skill with death glares had only grown. Even his wife, who had stared down the barrel of a gun and curtsied, gave a moment's thought before proceeding any nearer. At last, however, she gave an exasperated growl and stomped forward throwing the bottle onto the bed before him, the pills inside rattling as they tumbled against each other. She slammed a glass of water down on the bedside table. He looked up to see her eyes brimming.

"Do you want to die? Is that it?"

"Relena . . ." How could she think he wanted to die? Just because he'd once tried to self-destruct . . . okay, twice . . . and jumped fifty stories from a military cliff-side hospital without a parachute didn't mean he wanted to die.

"Why do you have to be so damned stubborn?" She folded her arms and seemed to fold in on herself, worry and lack of sleep weighing on her face. She was still fairly young, but the past few months had added many more years to her than she could truly claim. And she never cursed. "They're just pills, Hiiro. It won't kill you to take them. But it WILL kill you if you don't." She sighed when he didn't reply, too shocked to do so, and sat beside him. Her hand closed about his own, her soft skin meshing with the cold leathery excuse for his own flesh. "I love you. I don't want to live without you if I don't have to." She smiled down at him, her expression straightening even as a large tear slipped over her bottom eyelid and down her smooth cheek. A moment passed in which neither of them said a thing because it wasn't necessary.

Hiiro opened the bottle, took out two pills, and downed them with one gulp of water.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

My daddy was a wild one when he was younger.

Everybody told my mama he'd be hard to tame.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

He could hardly remember those days anymore. He had a vague recollection of floating through he air, wind caressing his cheeks. The memory was black, but that was because he'd had his eyes closed. Duo's voice came from above him, panicked and yet somehow resigned. Then, from somewhere even higher, came that other voice, the one that forced him to reconsider his decision.

"Yeah, those were the days!"

Hiiro opened his eyes to stare across the room at his braided friend. Duo sat in the most comfortable chair in the living room, leaned all the way back, hands resting behind his head. His feet were planted on the floral patterned foot rest. Hiiro never did understand why Relena insisted on something so fancy for a piece of furniture made for feet. Around Duo stood the other former Gundam pilots, all looking rather uncomfortable in the impeccable palace Relena liked to call home. Even Wufei, who stuck to the old adage about cleanliness being next to Godliness, seemed afraid to set his teacup anywhere.

"Yui," the Chinese man ventured, coughing a bit in discomfort, "we came here to ask about your health, and so far we've only talked about the state of your . . . kitchen . . . and the wars."

"As blunt as Wufei is," Quatre went on in his soft voice, "he's right. We want to know how you're doing."

Hiiro grunted. A standard response, one that tended to result in his having to say as little as possible. He sat in his own chair, an old grey thing that Relena hated but never could get rid of. He wouldn't let her. A blanket draped over his lap, above which he held his own cup and saucer. Everyone, including himself, ignored the way the two pieces stuttered against each other. Relena entered the room then, and he looked up to her for help. She smiled her sweet smile and asked Quatre if he wanted more sugar.

"I'm fine." Hiiro finally responded.

The others looked at him skeptically.

"He's telling the truth," Relena finally piped up, sitting down beside him on a small loveseat. "He's in remission. The weakness is from the medicine, not the cancer." Once, when he first became sick, Hiiro had asked her not to talk about him as if he were in a different room. She'd replied that if he didn't want her to talk about him, he needed to do his talking for himself. "In another month or so he'll be back to normal."

Discreetly her free hand slipped over the blanket and clasped his.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Full of himself, said "sir" to nobody, but you

Oughtta see him come a running when mama calls his name.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

"Hiiro!"

He was in the living room when she called. Two years before it would have taken him a good three minutes to lift himself from where he kneeled fixing the blasted toaster. Strength had returned since then, and in double amounts because of his careful training. At her call, he was up and into the hallway in three seconds. He tripped over a green tank top and tumbled head over heels, picking himself up to his feet right in front of the doorway.

"NANI?!?"

Relena looked at him, one hand resting on her bulging stomach. She blinked her wide blue eyes as he panted. A few moments passed before she smiled softly and held out a white and pastel blue wall hanging.

"I need help hanging this over the crib."

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

And where would we be without the love of a woman

Standing behind her man even when he's wrong?

The true, pure, undying love of a woman

Makes a man a fool to think he could make it alone.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

His breath caught. He swallowed. The doctor came towards him, pulling the green mask down as he approached. Hiiro hadn't been allowed in the delivery room on the hospital's new policy. Apparently too many brand new fathers fainted. The doctor looked very serious. Hiiro couldn't help all of the horrific thoughts that ran through his mind. What if something had gone wrong? He couldn't imagine what he would do, how he would manage, if something had happened to Relena or the baby. Onegai, Kami-sama, just let them both be all right.

"Mr. Yui?"

"H-Hai?"

The doctor grinned and stuck out his hand. When Hiiro grasped it the skin had the cold and slightly rubbery feel of flesh just freed from gloves.

"Congratulations, you're the proud father of a beautiful, healthy little girl."

He let out his breath.

"A girl?" Hiiro stood there, shaking the doctor's hand, pondering the idea of having a daughter. Luckily Relena had insisted on painting the nursery a neutral green. But all of the things he had seen in his mind were things a father would do with a son. Now what was he supposed to do? Go to ballet classes?

"Would you like to see them?"

"Uh . . . huh?"

"Your wife and daughter. Would you like to see them?"

"Ah, hai."

"Then you'll have to let go of my hand."

Hiiro looked down to see his fingers still grasping the cool skin of the other man. Quickly he relaxed them, pulling his appendage back to his side. The doctor smiled knowingly and gestured him down a hallway. Hiiro felt his heart beating ever faster as they wound through those corridors. As each door loomed ahead he wondered if that was the one, and his stomach dropped each time it wasn't. Finally the doctor turned and lifted an arm towards an open door. A soft light haloed out from the entrance. Hiiro paused, looked at his companion who nodded at him encouragingly, then finally took the step forward.

Sitting in the small hospital bed, Relena held in her arms a tiny bundle. He'd expected squirming and crying. The baby rested peacefully in her blanket, small fingers flexing slightly.

"Relena?"

She looked up at him. Her lips curved up slightly in her soft smile. She said nothing as he walked to her. When he came to the side of the bed, Relena held up her arms and their precious cargo for him to inspect. A little pink face stared out at him, eyes still closed, but somehow he knew they would be a light, ocean blue. He'd seen other babies and thought they all looked the same: ugly. But this little one, with her tiny fingers, small lips, and soft sigh, was less than ugly.

"She's beautiful," he said, for lack of anything more intelligent. His voice crumbled.

"Hold her, Hiiro," Relena told him. She held the baby up higher, and he had no choice but to fold his arms beneath hers and accept the offered gift. He swallowed tightly as the baby settled into the space made by his arms. He didn't dare move for fear of holding her the wrong way or something. Or, Kami-sama forbid, dropping her.

All he could do was look down at that precious little face and think into the future. Who would she look most like? Relena, he guessed. But what if she took after her father in personality? That could be nothing short of disastrous.

"Don't worry about the future, Hiiro," murmured his wife, placing a hand on his rigid arm. "She's beautiful and she's healthy. That's all that matters right now."

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

A man goes crazy trying to catch his feelings.

Too much pride and maybe the words come out wrong.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

"Otou-san?"

Hiiro opened his eyes slowly. He took a breath, mortified when that simple action sent him into convulsive coughs. Standing next to his bed was a little girl. Her dark brown hair fell straight to her shoulders, the two braids that should have been tied back instead dangling on either side of her cherub face. She blinked ocean blue eyes at him and held out a tray; his pills waited for him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell at her that the pills weren't working this time. But she looked at him so innocently, believing so naively in the power of the medicine. Damn Relena for telling her such stupid, idiotic . . .

"Otou-san, aren't you going to-"

"Hai, Shinko." He pushed himself up on weak arms, holding that torrent inside. He couldn't let his daughter know that he had little faith in a much longer life. She was only six; she wouldn't understand. In slow, arduous movements, he extracted two pills from the bottle, lifted them to his lips, and then swallowed them with the help of the water. As he set the glass back on the tray his fingers gave out and it went crashing into the platter, which in turn tumbled from Shinko's hand and collided with the floor. Water spilled everywhere. "Kuso!"

"Don't worry," Shinko pleaded, bending down to retrieve the fallen items, "Me and Okaa-san will clean it up." As she smiled at him and turned towards the smiley face kitchen, Hiiro settled back into the bed and thought how much she really did resemble her mother. Both wanted nothing more than to make him happy and comfortable. His worries at her birth that she might be like him were unfounded. Shinko cared.

She returned with a dishrag and set forth to mop up the water. Getting the carpet dry would be a long task for such a small arm. He couldn't help her. Hiiro felt tears sting the backs of his eyes. He couldn't help his daughter clean the carpet. She looked up at him then and stopped, looking at him strangely. After a long moment she set down her rag and climbed onto his frail lap, being careful the way Relena had told her. Gently she wrapped those chubby arms about his neck.

"Don't cry, Otou-san. It's just spilled water."

A sob, the first of his life, shook his dwindling body. With effort Hiiro lifted his own stick arms and hugged his daughter, eyes squeezed shut tightly. He heard her give a small whimper. She must have figured out that this was about more than water, but her young mind couldn't comprehend what really upset her father, a man she'd learned did not cry.

"O-Otou-san? Daijoubu?"

"Daijoubu," he replied, knowing he lied. His eyes opened to see Relena in the doorway, one hand over her mouth, shoulders shaking. As much as she wanted to deny it, she knew he lied as well.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

But that's okay, cause he's still her hero.

Steady as a rock her love keeps rolling along.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

He woke. Darkness all around. Silence. Wait, no, the sound of Relena breathing next to him. And . . . his own breathing. Short, irregular. Wheezing. His breath was running out. He needed to breathe. He had to wake her, to speak, to say what he hadn't before. Relena . . . wake up . . . onegai . . . He lifted an arm and slammed it with all the force he could muster down on her prone form.

"Nnuh?" she murmured, shifting, rolling over to face him. He felt her moving, because he couldn't look at her. His body suddenly seemed paralyzed. "Hiiro, what . . . Hiiro?" He felt her hands on him, her soft hands touching his cheeks. A vague shadow played across the vision of his wide open eyes, but he couldn't make out her face in the darkness. "Hiiro, oh God. Hold on, let me call an ambulance." Her touch left him, and Hiiro's heart battered against his ribcage.

"I-Iie!" he forced from his lips, "N-No!"

"Hiiro, please, just let me-" He heard the desperation in her voice, the denial.

"Listen."

A small sound reached his ears, one that took him a moment to interpret as a strangled cry. Her hand slipped into his unmoving one and squeezed. He pulled in a long, heavy breath and then another, closing his eyes though he knew that to be the worst thing to do. But the other blackness called to him, the darkness deeper than that of the unlighted bedroom. One more breath fueled him and at last the words tumbled from his lips.

"Aishiteru, Relena."

Her sob shook even him. Her hand closed tighter on his, her fingers crushing him in their desperate attempt to hold him. Something snaked beneath his back. She was putting her arms completely around him, her slender form shaking against his emaciated frame.

"I love you too," she whispered in his ear, the words tinged with her grief.

He sighed and felt the world around sliding away from him. Or was he sliding away from it? He couldn't tell. He didn't care. There was a small creak and the last sound he heard was the timid voice of his daughter.

"Otou-san, daijoubu?"

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

And where would we be without the love of a woman

Standing behind her man even when he's wrong?

The true, pure, undying love of a woman

Makes a man a fool to think he could make it alone.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

"He's asleep."

Relena nodded a bit as she held her daughter, not really hearing what the girl said. Beside them on the bed Hiiro really did seem to sleep. Though pale and gaunt he was relaxed in a way he had never been before. Relena found the time to feel sorry for her husband that his greatest peace came in death.

"Okaa-san, he's asleep. If I go back to sleep, I can see him, ne?"

She blinked and calmed her hiccuping tears enough to look down at Shinko. Ocean blue eyes, matching her own, stared up with pure trust though her chubby fingers clenched Relena's nightgown tightly. The girl bit her bottom lip as the seconds ticked by with no answer.

"Yes," Relena found herself saying, "yes, you can see him if you go back to sleep." Her arms fell limply down her to sides as Shinko wriggled from their grasp and padded across the carpet and out the door. The sound of her feet continued down the hallway to her own room. The door shut. Relena sat in lonely silence. Her eyes met the sight of her husband again and his contented expression. Trembling, she leaned over and placed a last kiss on his still warm lips. "Goodnight, Hiiro."

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Makes a man a fool to think he could make it alone.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

End.