Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Teddy Bear Affair ❯ The Affair of the Teddy Bear ( One-Shot )

The Story of the Teddy Bear

or

THE TEDDY-BEAR-AFFAIR

my interpertation of what really happened when Relena received the teddy bear from Heero!!:

THE INTERVIEW- THE STORY OF THE TEDDY-BEAR-AFFAIR

BY ANNIE

setting:

GBC (gundam broadcasting corp) ONEHOUR-the tv show

characters in order of appearance:

Hotaru Tomoe- creator of this site, sovereign of silence, host of ONEHOUR (spin-off of 60 min)

Barbara Waltzers- interviewer extrodinare (spin-off of Barbara Walters..get it walters waltzers...EW?! eheehee)

Dr. J- Heero's mentor and creator of the Wing gundam. He's a cyborg

Some unfortunate airlines worker- nuff said

Dorothy Catalonia- known for long boring and pointless speeches about battles, best known for screwed up eyebrows (I mean look at them really...lol)

Chang WuFei- cranky integrity obsessed gundam pilot of Shenlong (called Nataku) he's arrogant, a jerk, and the murder of Trezie Kushranada

Quatre Raberba Winner- called sappy by some, he's the gundam pilot of sandrock who brings the pilots together. he's kinda cute and really sweet, that's why he's a sappy pilot, not to mention his fighting skills are lacking, but he is kinda the brain of the group

Trowa Barton- really he's Triton Bloom, the Nameless, and one of the most mysterious of the gundam pilots. he uses heavy arms, speaks way too strategically, wears a clown outfit, and is errr... ok n/m

Duo Maxwell- the comical, long braided pilot of the gundam deathscythe. commonly referred to as the god of death or the great destroyer (depending on weather of not u watch the midnight run) duo is the funniest and most carefree of the group, but his priest like outfit is wacked out and he has a thing for hitting on girls and drinking and stuff(Relena and Hilde lol)

Lucertia Noin- military instructor who has a thing for Millardo(Zechs Marquise). she does a lot of important stuff in the series etc. basically she's in love w/ Millardo.

Relena Peacecraft- co-founder of this site. she's got an even bigger thing for Heero than Noin does for Zechs. Relena is Heero's stalker and umm, a big pacifist

Heero Yuy- the best gundam pilot, he uses wing, zero, and zero custom. what can I say, I love the guy (he's my fav can u tell?) uh...he acts eternally crabby, but he isn't. called inhuman by duo, Heero is human, at least he becomes so b/c of Relena(aww how cute!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hotaru: Hello and welcome to another compelling edition of ONEHOUR. Here is our correspondent BaaBaaBaBarbara Waltzers. Good evening BaaBaaBaBarbara!

Barbara: Good evening, Hotaru. On ONEHOUR tonight, it is a strange and compelling story, shrouded in mystery, and only one man knows all the answers. I'll have hilights from my interviews with the main players in this drama in just a moment but first, the introduction to this strange and kinda cuddly, yet dangerous tale of THE TEDDY-BEAR-AFFAIR. (dun dun duuun...menacing music in the background)(flashes of lights, police tapes, and floating teddy bears flash on the screens)

Hotaru: Thank you Barbara, looking forward to that, but first a word form our sponcers....

~~commercial time~~ ^- ^;

(Fancy Expensive non alcoholic champagne logo flashes on the screen. Duo and Hilde are sitting on the couch and..umm..ok enough details)

*phone rings*

Duo picks up: wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzuuuup?

Quatre: wazzzzzzzzzzzp?

Duo: waaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzp?

*the phone beeps again, Hilde looks up at Duo, rather annoyed*

Duo: oh, hold on a sec

Trowa (on the other line): waaaazzzzzzzzzzuuuuuup?

Duo: wazzzzzzzzzzzzzp?

*phone beeps again*Duo picks the other line up*

Howard: waaaaaazzzzzzp?

Duo: wazzzzzzzzp?

Trezie on the same line as Howard: waaaaaazzzzzzzzzp?!

Duo: wuuuuuzzzzzzzzp?

*Duo clicks between lines* waaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzp???!!!!*Hilde is very annoyed*

The conversation ends and Duo hangs up, and talks to Quatre

Duo: eh....nuthin' watching a game, having a "Fancy-Expensive-Non-Alcoholic-Champagne-Beverage"

~~~fin~~~

Hotaru: welcome back to ONE HOUR. I am Hotaru Tomoe. What you are about to see and hear is an exclusive interview by BaaBaaBaBarbara Waltzers on the shocking story of The Teddy-Bear-Affair. Viewer discretion advised. No one over 20 is allowed to watch this! But first some background.....

(you see pictures from the TV show and pics of teddies and of gundams and airplanes)

Hotaru: The end of the war and the end of a terrible bloody era. finally peace had come, but there was one great event still left that would shake the gundam world......the event of THE TEDDY-BEAR-Affair! (more menacing music) It is alleged that one Heero Yuy, whose real name is unidentified, allegedly sent another Relena Peacecraft {yes, Relena Peacecraft, formerly known as Relena Doylin, the same girl who became sovereign of the World Nations or something and was in charge until Trezie kicked her out, leader of the Sanc kingdom, and most notable for the following phrase "heeeeero! come back to me" eerrr...! whoops how'd that get in here?! I meant "pacifism is the way"} a *gasp* teddy bear! Now to our ONEHOUR correspondent, Barbara?

Barbara: Yes Hotaru, I am here with several close friends and witness to this most unusual event. I'm here with a man who claims to know Heero Yuy personally, since when he was just a young boy. Your name sir?

J: J

Barbara: your full name please?

J : Doctor J

Barbara: yeah, but your first name is? or J stands for?

J : Doctor. don't you pay attention?! J is for a letter in the alphabet "J"

Barbara: *sigh* anyways... Doctor J, you've known Heero Yuy for a long time haven't you?

J: yeah. you just said that.

Barbara: err... well.. tell us about your experiences with Heero

J: he is a very bright lad. we raised him from an infant to be an assassin. he was trained to be the perfect soldier yaddayadda.... anyways, it seemed to most that the compassion was completely drained out of him, but in fact, Heero is really a very kind boy at heart.

Barbara: getting back to the issue of The Teddy-Bear-Affair

J: Relena proves that because she gets him to begin to show compassion. the incident of the TeddyBear is a perfect example.

Barbara(almost asleep): uh thank you very much

J: no problem at all

Barbara: our next interview is with some unfortunate airlines worker. sir? your story?

SUfAlW: am I on TV?

Barbara(exasperated): yes!

SUfAlW: well there is not much to tell. one minute I'm uh.... talking to the cute flight attendant... and I turn around for one second, and bam!! something hits me on the back of my head so fast that I don't know what hit me. I was knocked unconscious.

Barbara(sympathetically): tell us about when you awoke

SUfAlW: uh..when I woke up, my outer work clothes were gone! the airlines uniform I mean.

Barbara(in shock): thank you sir for the information.

Hotaru (intervenes): Is it suspected that this unfortunate airlines worker's clothes were used to disguise one Heero Yuy, Barb?

Barbara: In all likely hood it possible...for more I went to my next interview with a young woman named Dorothy Catalonia.

(tape files to interview with good ol' Dorothy)

Barbara: Miss Catalonia, in your own words, describe for us the certain gundam pilots Heero Yuy. We understand that you attended school with him for a brief period, as well as had some run in with Mr. Yuy aboard Libra. Miss Catalonia?

Dorothy: Yes...the gundam pilots! How I love to see them fight! All the emotions of the battlefield....!

Barbara: about Heero Yuy?

Dorothy: yes, Miss Relena seems to fancy him.

Barbara: no! er.. I mean what are your experiences with him?

Dorothy: he's an excellent pilot!!

Barbara: I don't think you get the point....what do u know about Heero Yuy?

Dorothy: oh haha. Heero Yuy. Well, Once upon a time in a far away and distant space colony there was a young man who had the same name as a great leader...his name was Heero Yuy!

Barbara: yeah we know that!

Dorothy (raises her `eyebrow') don't rush me!! where was I? well I'll just start again. Once upon a time in a distant space colony, there was a boy who shared the same name as a great leader. That leader was assassinated, but his death brought a new freedom to the people. He was a great hero. I wonder if the same will be true for the other Heero Yuy

Barbara: well most gundam fans already know that, and can recite that in less confusing words! [under her breath: they also know that after that speech of yours Heero whooped your butt in fencing] getting onto the issue of The Teddy-Bear-Affair...

Dorothy: oh yes, well once upon a time there was a man who liked bears. He was a great leader and the people remembered him long after his death by inventing plush bears and naming them after him as "teddy"

Barbara: ugh! I'm not talking about how teddy bears came to be I'm talking about Heero Yuy's involvement with teddy bears!

Dorothy: oh! how silly of me! I shall have to study the pilots more often. maybe they are invincible due to a liking of teddy bears? or maybe, once upon a time...

Barbara: I give up!

(tape ends abruptly before Barbara loses her cool)

Hotaru: uhhhh....and now to some quality commercials

~~commerical time again ^-^; ~~

"Quatre's Coke-fest" by Stu

Setting: Winner family reunion...the Mangac Corps are sitting around spending quality time together in the outdoors along with all of the Winner family (all of Quatre's sisters). There is a big banquet set up in the desert. All the people start to gather around for a big family picture.

Rashid: Can I get you anything master Quatre?

Quatre: a coke please

Rashid: oh, I'm afraid we don't have any

Quatre: WHAT?! I'm a gundam pilot! I'm prepared to self-detonate at anytime!! this will probably be the last time we get together! AND I WANT A COKE

(everyone starts to try to calm him down)

Quatre: get away from me!!!! I'll destroy everything! hahahahaha

(Quatre jumps in his gundam and smashes up the colony and the banquet.)

announcer: next time, have coke handy

~~The Gundam phonics game (by Stu and Stu2)

Stu: help your little gundam pilot succeed in life. learn basic gundam skills such as: shooting down oz carriers, self detonation, mastering zero, computer hacking, fighting in space, how to rip up invitations and so much more!

Duo: I just didn't get how to get a girl gundam style...but now I know! hooked on phonics for gundams worked for me! heh, `omae o korsu'

Quatre: it was so hard being the worst gundam pilot, but them I used the phonics game for gundam pilots, and ..umm.... shoot I'm still the worst gundam pilot! oh well it is a fun way to get together with fellow pilots

Stu2: yes the phonics game for gundam pilots really works! Guaranteed to help your pilot destroy more oz junk! If you don't see an improvement in your gundam pilot, well too bad! call our toll free number 1-800-acbedfq now! open the door to learning and fun

~~~

a "now you know" reminder from this news station:

a very serious looking Relena enters

Relena: are your kids or someone you know visibly weirder? do they say strange phrases in Japanese? do they refer to them selves as the `great destroyer' or talk to cars and/or other means of transportation? Do they dress in black, or use too much hair gel? if so these may be warning signs. don't ignore them! Please! talk to your kids about Self-detonation today.

(slogan flashes across the screen)Self-detonation---is it really the right way out?(GBC logo at the end: Gundam Broadcasting Corporation)

~~~fin~~~

Hotaru: Hello! ONE HOUR corespondent, Barbara Waltzers is here with the compelling and bizarre story of (dundundunnn menacing music) The Teddy-Bear-Affair !!

Barbara: yes, well, I am here now with Chang Wufei. He is a fellow gundam pilot of Heero Yuy. Mr. Wufei, what do you think happened in your opinion?

Wufei: *snort* that weakling!! he fell for that woman !

Barbara: uh..can we expand? what do you think happened in the incident of the Teddy-Bear-Affair?

Wufei: he's a weakling! Only a weakling would give Relena Peacecraft a teddy bear! I've had enough of this! I'm out of here!

(Wufei stalks off the set)

Barbara(shouting to Wufei who is taking off): Thank you Chang for your insights. Back to you, Hotaru.

Hotaru: our next interview is with *giggle* Quatre Raberba Winner. I'm doing this interview myself hehe!

(Quatre walks in the studio)

Houtaru: how u doin'?

Quatre(blushing): uh..fine I guess

Barbara(yelling to Hotaru from behind the curtain): back to business!!

Hotaru: oh yeah! almost forgot! umm...my guest today is Quatre Raberba Winner. ;)

Quatre(waves at the camera): hi

Hotaru: so Quatre, I can call u that right?

Quatre: yeah sure I guess

Hotaru: hehe! good. now, Quatre, what happened with the incident involving your friend and fellow gundam pilot, Heero Yuy, a teddy bear, and Relena Peacecraft?! Everyone wants to know and since you are the cute-

Barbara: *cough*

Hotaru(continuing): -leader and brain of the gundam pilots, tell us in your own worlds what you think or know happened.

Quatre(takes Hotaru's hand): Relena made the heart of outer space beat again! that's what happened.

Hotaru: awww...how sweet

Barbara: ok ok, enough already...I'm getting sick on all this sugar! next interview!!

Hotaru: but I'm not done

Quatre: we can still talk even after the interview

Hotaru: :)

Barbara rolls her eyes. Duo Maxwell walks in.

Barbara: Welcome Mr. Maxwell

Duo(sticks his face in the camera and starts making faces in it): hiiiiiiyya!!

Barbara: umm, Mr. Maxwell...

Duo: oh, sorry

Barbara: its ok. for those of you who don't know, this is Duo Maxwell. He is another gundam pilot and has had many missions with Heero. He even saved Heero from Sally Po. Commonly known as "the god of death"?! wha? that TelePrompTer can't be right

Duo: nah.. it's right. [jumps up]I am the "Great Destroyer once again" shoot! [duo is getting censored]I mean the "god of death" what the !@^$%@$? Is this day time TV? why can't I say "god of death"?

Barbara: yes it is daytime TV, and no you can't say that..this is a family show

Hotaru: but this isn't for people over 20-

Barbara: ok whatever! he said it..anyhoo...What do you think ofThe Teddy-Bear-Affair happenings? Tell us what you think happened!

Duo: the what?! "Teddy-Bear-Affair"?

Barbara: yes, it involves Heero Yuy and Relena Peacecraft

Duo: ewwwww. I didn't know they had an affair

(everyone laughs)

Barbara: NO! It's just a souped up title by the media designed to grab attention of the stupid public! It just means, well nothing....we just use it when we talk about Heero giving Relena a teddy-bear.

Duo: are you calling me stupid?

Barbara: no! just answer the [censored] question

Duo: oh!! heh, its the funniest thing I ever saw! cranky old Heero in love with Relena no less. and I thought he was so super human, guess not since he fell for her

Barbara: Can't any of you give specifics on what actually happened? What does that have to do with the Teddy-Bear-Affair?

Duo(slurping water from the drinking glass): plenty! that's what I call infatuation ahaha!

Barbara: hmm...this seems to be the angle that many are taking-that Heero Yuy must have snuck aboard the plane, and put the bear in her seat and wrote a note on it. Heero Yuy likes/loves Relena Peacecraft?

Duo: because he does, duh! You talk too much

Quatre: Duo!

Hotaru: you have a point there, Duo

Barbara(red): grrrr. our next guest in the studio is Trowa Barton or Triton bloom, depends on how much you've seen Gundam Wing. He's *sigh* another gundam pilot, he knows Heero Yuy, and is out strategical consultant

Duo: hey, Trowa how's it going?

Trowa: ok, you?

Barbara: this is my interview!!! Now, Mr. Barton, what do you think happened concerning the matter with the Teddy-Bear-Affair?

Trowa: huh? who had an affair with a bear?!

Duo: Heero did

Trowa: nasty! I'm not so sure I wanna be on this show.....

(Barbara explains the meaning of the title all over again)

Trowa: ah ha! strategically speaking in essence, what Heero did was technically correct-women like small gifts, such as cute teddy bears, to display as tokens from a loved one, but what Heero really should have done was.....

Duo: achoooo!!

Quatre: gazuntite

Duo: thanks

Quatre: no prob.

Trowa: as I was saying, what he should have done was-

Hotaru: oi! look at the time. I'm afraid our interview is over. Thank for coming boyz. hope to see you soon!

Barbara: aaaah!

~~we cut to a commercial now ^-^; ~~

!!coming soon to GBC..."WHO WANTS TO BE A PEACEMILLIONAIRE-celebrity edition" with your host Regis Kushranada!!

~~~fin~~~

Hotaru: And so for our final segment of ONEHOUR, we will talk to the two most involved people in the shocking story of (dundun dunnn menacing music) The Teddy-Bear-Affair! --Relena Peacecraft and Heero Yuy! We boldly take you where no news organization has gone before! and straight to the heart of the story(err, the heart of space according to Quatre), where for once we hope to get some answers!!

Barbara: wow!! really?!

Hotaru: yeah....you did the interviews remember?

Barbara: oh that's right

Hotaru: ...but first-

Barbara: dang, knew there would be a catch!

Hotaru: first, an up close and personal interview with Lucertia Noin. We are talking to Miss Noin via satellite. We will also be joined later by satellite by Relena's brother Millardo Peacecraft (formerly known as Zechs Marquise)

(split screen Noin is on one side, Zechs is on the other)

Barbara: let me start with you, Miss Noin. Tell me about Heero Yuy and your thoughts on The TeddyBear.

Lucretzia: *sigh* Why can't Millardo be more romantic like that?

Barbara: we're discussing your feelings towards Heero Yuy, not your crush on Zechs!

Lucretzia: oh, I think Heero Yuy is an exceptional pilot, and an ok person. It's really most unlike him and totally out of character to associate with TeddyBears, though.

Hotaru: umm... and what do you have to say Mr. Peacecraft?

Zechs(sarcastically): Relena sure can pick `em.

Noin: Zechs!! is that you?!

Zechs: no, I'm Millardo today.

Noin: Millardo.....

Zechs: Noin.....

Barbara(yanks the satellite connection out): yeah, thanks for your time! buh bye now

Hotaru: and now the moment you've all been waiting for!!! Our interview with Relena Peacecraft followed by Heero Yuy.

Barbara: Relena, what do you make of the Teddy-Bear-Affair?

Relena: The Teddy-Bear-Affair?

Barbara: the event by which Heero Yuy gave you the Teddy-Bear!

Relena: oh....that....at first I though...you ment..that is to say...the note...oh! nevermind. First off, I have to say, I always knew Heero would come back to me! :)

Hotaru: and second?

Relena: next time, he should deliver it in person ;)

Hotaru: hey, at least he left in on the plane, from what I hear he isn't a very sociable guy.

Relena: really? not my Heero. hehe! He's quite outgoing. I knew he'd come back! I just knew it!!

Barbara: uh huh. Next up, Heero Yuy

Relena(jumps up): Heero is here?!

Hotaru and Barbara nod

Relena: Heeeeeero!!!

Hotaru: not yet, in a minute, but first, a commercial break

Relena: screw the commercial break! I wanna see Heero!

Barbara(unwilling to argue with a pacifist): oooook. Here is Heero Yuy.

(Relena jumps up and attacks Heero)

Heero: get off of me Relena!

Relena: say it

Heero(pulls out a gun): ugh! omae o korsu! and I mean it!!!

(Relena lets him go and smiles)

Relena: just like old times! I knew you'd come back!! I was just telling them that

Heero: I didn't come back to you. I came because Duo [glares at Duo] tricked me into doing this stupid interview! Stop stalking me Relena!!

(Relena looks at him lovingly)(the g-boys start cracking jokes)

Hotaru(interrupting): but in light of the Teddy-Bear-Affair, isn't allright to assume that you like Relena. I mean, we've talked to several experts on this, including some of your friends and co-workers, and they all agree that you have feeling for her, but you just won't admit it.

Barbara: here's some food for thought

Duo: food?! where?

Barbara: according to our viewer poll, which we have just conducted. It surveyed a bunch of couch potatoes that have nothing better to do than click on enhanced TV at home and it found that 50% think you love her and vice versa, 28% think this program has dragged on long enough 15% think Relena should get a life and quit following Heero around and 4% want the phone numbers of the other gundam pilots

Hotaru giggles: so spill the bean Heero...we know u like her.. 50% of the couch potatoes that is.

Heero(shocked): What is wrong with me?!?!?!?!

(Heero runs out of the studio and Relena runs after him)

Barbara: well there you have it. The Teddy-Bear-Affair in a nutshell

Hotaru: actually, you really didn't succeed in answering any of our questions, you just ran around with the cast of gundam wing and made a complete fool of yourself. This is Hotaru Tomoe signing off.

Barbara: this is GBC correspondent Barbara Waltzers good nigh everyone.

(lights dim, silhouette of Hotaru and Barbara, GBC theme music plays, credits roll, as well as a few of the script writers' heads

announcer: good night new york. it is 2400 hours, do you know where your zero system is?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~