Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Ultimate Sacrifice ❯ Blunt Confessions ( Chapter 1 )

I don't own it, and if you sue me I'm not rich so it's not worth hiring a lawyer for.

Aw man marching season is over! Eh he he yeah band geek…that's me! I started this story right before band camp started and I did not have ANY time to even think about this story! Now Chapter I is over, and I tried to make it a one shot, but it was just too hard!

Warnings:

v This story contains the 4xD and 3xD pairing, I'm pretty sure I've mentioned those in the summary and if you don't like it then you shouldn't be here!!!

v Lemon(s) in future chapters, and of course I've already put the rating into NC-17 so there won't be any mistakes made in the future.

v Angst, the depressing stuff you know….

** I know a handful of people dislike and despise these pairings with a passion and I've seen authors being flamed for writing about these pairings that I have, so if you don't take a fancy in the pairings that I have, then I'm kindly asking you to please don't read and press the back button. I would also like to clarify that I don't hate yaoi, only that I just happen to like this pairing. I'm not against gays either. I'm positively sure you can find something more suitable to your liking and I guarantee that you will find a bunch! Thanks! :D **

~You have just been warned!~

Comments? Suggestions? Omae Wo Korosu or I will kill you's? Send them to:

Craziereggie392@aol.com

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Katrina Winner -- six years old (Quatrina, Katrina...)

Genevieve Winner -- five years old

Garin Winner -- two years old

*I put that in just in case you were wondering because I will not be mentioning their ages in the story*

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The Ultimate Sacrifice

A twenty-eight year old Dorothy wept quietly, trying to make an effort to stop the tears from gliding freely down her face. But she just could not help but cry. A few years back, when she was still young, she never cried...never.

But he changed everything, that meaningful night in Libra, when he reached out his heart to hers and made her feel that she wasn't just made of stone, and that she herself had a heart. A day of asking for forgiveness quickly led to their friendship, and Dorothy found herself discreetly crushing over the kind Winner heir. She thought that he would never return her discreet feelings, and that it was preposterous to fall for someone like Quatre Raberba Winner. But a few weeks later, he called her up for a simple dinner at the new restaurant in town. After dinner, as she fumbled endlessly with her keys, at her doorstep, and she faced him to thank him for such a wonderful evening. As she bent over to kiss his cheek, he quickly turned his face and their lips instantly met. The next thing she new, a year later, he was already kneeling before her, asking her the question that she practiced in her mind over and over. She has been married to him since, and she was as happy as ever...

But it all changed over some argument the other day...

"Leaving again? You just got home yesterday!" Dorothy said as she pointed to the suitcase which was already packed with clothes.

"Some technical problems came up yesterday, I have to go there and see what's going on myself...I'm so sorry." Quatre called out from the walk-in closet.

"You don't care for me or for your family anymore, do you?" Dorothy asked as Quatre came out of the walk-in closet with a couple of pairs of socks.

"What do you mean I don't care for you anymore?" He tiredly replied, neatly placing the socks on his already full suitcase which was on the bed.

"What I'm saying is that you never have time for me...at least if you don't have time for me, spare some for your children...you're always out on those business trips and it makes me wonder if it really concerns business or something else..." She said, crossing her arms and sitting down on the bed.

"Whatever made you assume that it was not concerning business? As if you don't know already, I work day and night for this corporation!" He yelled back, already tired of the same argument they have been going through.

"Fine...call it whatever you want..." She said getting up and walking to the door.

"Dorothy wait..."

Dorothy turned and looked at him eagerly. She raised one of her eyebrows. "Are you changing your mind?"

He looked at her sadly and walked up to her, pulling her against him, kissing her softly.

After pulling away for a moment he said: "No, but I promise I'll make it up--"

She wrenched herself from his grasp and backed out.

"I'm not going to settle for promises anymore, either you stay or you go."

He sighed haggardly, turning away to the suitcase, zipping it close and buckling it shut.

"Fine. Don't expect me to wait on you anymore." She said opening the door.

"Fine!" She heard him yell back as she slammed the door shut angrily.

'What if he doesn't love me anymore or never did...what if he just married me to get the approval of society?' Dorothy thought to herself, standing up weakly, desperately trying to regain her composure.

'I'd rather be a poor woman and be with him than be lavishly spoiled in this luxury being miserable and lonely.'

She ran her fingers through the large desk, her fingers stopping to pick up the picture frame that beheld their wedding picture.

'If it was meant to be like that all along, I sure was a fool and he sure had a good way of acting it all out...' She frowned faintly at the thought. Then she placed the picture gently back to where she picked it up from. Her hands then moved to pick up the picture frame that was beside it, and this time it carried a picture of the three little angels that brought her all the happiness in the world. Katrina, Genevieve and Garin. Sure, it hurt as hell having them, but the way they smiled at her and hugged her after a day of stressful work made her feel so much better. She was even sure she would not have children, especially not Quatre Winner's.

'He doesn't even know what I would do for him...He saved my soul...He gave me the ability to love by melting my heart of ice...Now I feel so weak...so foolish...But I still love him in spite of these doubts...'

She put the picture back on the desk, taking a last glance at them before taking a deep breath and walked slowly out of her home office, her hair, slowly trailing behind her. As she came out to the hall, she was greeted by a small and cherubic little child.

"Mommy! Mommy! Uncle Twowa's here! And he brought me a stuffed lion mommy!" Two-year-old Garin said loudly as Dorothy picked him up and carried him. He was the darling of the family, and he reminded her of Quatre very much. He had the same wavy blonde hair, the big, blue sapphire eyes, and the pale white skin. Garin looked almost nothing like Dorothy at all, but she knew he would be a better fencer than she was someday.

"That's wonderful, darling. Don't forget to thank your Uncle Trowa." Dorothy lied under her teeth, still retaining her hate for Trowa Barton, the stoic former pilot. She despised the man because of his disapproval of their marriage years ago. She kissed her youngest child on the cheek, giving him a sweet smile as she put him down when she saw Trowa.

"Hello Trowa, how nice of you to come." Dorothy lied again, failing to crack a fake smile because of her resentment of him. How much she has changed, she couldn't even fake a simple little smile.

"Thank you Uncle Twowa, I liked the stuffed lion." Garin said in his teeny toddler voice.

Trowa bent down to level his face with that of his nephew's. He reached his hand to mess his hair. "Anytime, old sport." He flashed a rare and kind smile at his nephew. He then stood up and stared at Dorothy.

"I don't think you should go spoiling Garin, Trowa. Quatre has spoiled him enough and you're not helping." Dorothy said as she bent over and smiled her young son, touching his nose.

"Quatre told me to stay here while he was away...I came as soon as I could. Where are Katrina and Genevieve?" He replied, his voice showing no emotion at all. He placed his bags on the floor, and tossed his jacket on the edge of the plush love seat, and took a few steps closer to her.

"Katrina is in her room right now, playing with Genevieve. I don't understand why you have to be here, I can manage a household all by myself." She tossed her hair haughtily over her shoulder as she talked to him.

"You've been crying." He said with his shallow and empty voice. "Is anything wrong?"

'Quatre has changed her." He thought to himself.

"No, it's absolutely nothing, I've been tired that's all, I look like I've been crying because I'm just tired." She snapped, offending him, He backed a few steps away from her.

She quickly noticed that her son was staring at her. "I'm sorry…it's just that I've been so...stressed lately." Her voice trailed off as she ended her sentence. She placed the back of her hand on her forehead, swallowing and desperately trying to pull herself together.

Trowa only nodded in reply, but his heart broke to see her miserable like that. He felt like taking her into his arms to comfort her, but he knew that she would just push him away. She may have hated him for disapproving of Quatre's marriage to her because that plain act was based on his own selfishness. He wanted her for himself. He could only watch in silence. Like he did, watching them for the past years that they have been married.

Yes, no matter how stupid he thought it was and no matter how much he denied it and how good he has kept it to himself for years, Trowa Barton loved the only woman he could never have, his best friend's wife.

"When was the last time you talked to him?" Trowa asked, breaking the silence.

"Yesterday, when he was packing his clothes."

"Dorothy, you need to rest, you look like you haven't slept in days...Did you and Quatre have a fight?" Trowa replied, sounding terribly concerned as he noticed the black circles under her puffy eyes and her blotchy skin.

"No I'm fine." She curtly cut in.

"Please Dorothy...I'll take care of Garin. You can do some of your paperwork tomorrow."

She nodded, finally admitting that she badly needed some rest. "Yes, of course, I suppose you're right."

Trowa took Garin's hand, and carried him up to his hip.

Before leaving to go up to her bedroom, Dorothy swiftly turned.

"Oh, and Trowa?"

Trowa expectantly turned to face her.

"Thank you." She said quietly, looking at the floor. Even though she hated him, he still went through all lengths to help them, and treated her children like they were his own. She then spun her heel and walked slowly up the grand marble staircase, her long flowing hair beautifully hanging loosely on the back.

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Quatre sighed as he boarded the private shuttle alone. Dorothy was right; he didn't seem to show the he cared for his family anymore.

He decided that he would call her and apologize, and would cancel appointments and try to spend some time with her; too much time has already been wasted. He needed to replace the unaffectionate pecks on the check and the distance bids of goodnight with the sweeter words and gestures they shared a long, time ago.

He sighed tiredly as he said to himself that he poured out too much of his life to things that benefited other people more than it benefited him. It was about time he opened his eyes, and straightened out a little. Little does he know that something so inevitable and inexorable will happen in his own household.

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After dinner, after the children were put to sleep, and after the whole house retired, Dorothy was in the back terrace of the Winner mansion. She changed from her day attire of a white button down shirt and a straight cut skirt to a satin nightgown that fell down on her ankles. She was leaning on the marble terrace rail, smoking a cigarette. Her thoughts of her problems were deeply imbedded in her mind.

"You should know by now that smoking isn't good for your health. You should also know by now that Quatre doesn't like seeing you smoke." A cold voice said from behind her back. She already knew who it was. The figure then walked over to her and took the cigarette from her hand.

"Give it back." She harshly said to him, glaring at him with her cold ice-blue eyes. She stuck her hand out, demanding for her cigarette.

He only responded by throwing it on the floor and stepping on it with his foot.

"What's your problem anyway? It's what keeps me calm." She said rudely, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I don't understand...I just can't. You desperately tried to convince Quatre not to marry me, and yet you watch over my children like you wished they were yours...I know you hate me, but don't worry because the feeling is mutual." She continued, looking at the floor, then went back to leaning on the railing.

He quietly sighed looked at the railing, seeping in the words that hurt him deeply in silence, but she rambled on and on.

"You told him that I was a lie and a cheat, and that I would kill him for his money! Whatever made you assume so much?" She said quietly, but angrily, hoping not to wake the rest of the house.

"Maybe because you are a lying cheat." As well as they both knew it was untrue, Dorothy ignored what he just said and just continued to look away from him.

"How could I do that to him when he saved my soul? Even though I admit that I am a mean and hateful bitch, I would never do that to him, never." She continued as he looked at her.

"I've always been wondering why you're not even married yet. Isn't it rather strange? All of the pilots are married now and have little ones out or in the making."

'Because I've already found the one and she already belongs to someone else.' Trowa thought. "I suppose that...I just haven't met the right one yet."

"Or did you want my husband for yourself? Are you in love with him?" She asked repulsively, but as she realized that what she had just said was way out of the line, she turned away from his gaze.

"Oh God, I didn't mean to imply--I apologize." She started to walk away.

Trowa could not take it anymore. He couldn't stand the fact that he was being despised and detested by the woman he loved.

"Dorothy, do you want to know the real reason why I did everything to break you and Quatre apart?" He asked indifferently, startling her as she passed his side.

"No, I think it would be best if you kept it you yourself. Good night, Trowa."

But as she walked away, he went after her, and with his strong arms that were built for grasping and clutching grabbed her and turned her around roughly.

"But Dorothy, I want you to know." He said as he violently shifted his hands to make her face him, and look straight into his eyes.

"Dammit, let me go, Trowa." She said through her gritted teeth, moving violently to free herself from his strong grasp.

"The real reason why I tried to break you two apart was because I wanted..." He sighed heavily, partly glad that he already had the chance to get the heavy burden off of his chest.

"I wanted you Dorothy, only you...I said every lie I could think of...so Quatre would never be suspicious...I loved you terribly, Dorothy...I still do..." He looked at her profoundly and sincerely with emerald eyes, and for the first time in her life, Dorothy Catalonia Winner actually thought that his eyes were more beautiful than that of her husband's sapphire eyes.

After a split second, his lips won over hers in a tumultuous kiss, nearly grinding and crushing her lips with his own. She fought the urge to give in and kiss him back, but it was way too overwhelming to act on the right way. As his tongue licked her lips to ask entrance, she weakly obliged.

She never was kissed like that before. She had always wanted a strong, forceful man to drive her crazy with a kiss like that. And the man she was kissing was the type who she longed for. Quatre only kissed her gently, like a delicate porcelain doll, afraid that he might break her into a thousand pieces. But this kiss, it impaired her ability to think. She was too shocked at the delicious ecstasies surrounding it to even act on what was morally right.

'Wait, Quatre, what about him?' Her conscience asked her, making her feel all guilt ridden all of a sudden. She saw his innocent face in her mind, seeing them at this very moment, his teary eyes looking at them with sorrow and loathing because of their betrayal.

'This is not right...not right...for you...for him...for your husband...and your children...what will they say?' Her conscience asked her, the guilt consuming her inch by inch.

Her eyes shot open, now more aware of what she had been doing. She gathered all the strength she could to push him away. And with all her effort, she pushed him away with all the force she could get, and now a few feet were spaced between them.

She wiped her swollen lips using the back of her hand and stared at it with disgust.

"Damn you, Trowa Barton. You know I love him. I don't want him to be betrayed like this! It's not fair to him. He has been nothing but kind to both of us. We can't repay him this way! I am his wife and you are his best friend. That is the only way it has to be. I'm sorry Trowa."

"I watched in pain and in silence as he held you and kissed you and loved you and fathered your children for the past seven years and now you know the truth, the feeling is unchanged still. I could have just told you and ruined it then. I had to go on like that, and make the ultimate sacrifice. But what about me, what about what I want? I can only dream and wish that I was him and you were mine can't I?"

"I don't know, Trowa. Now I understand why you were nice and concerned for a minute, and then cold the next...but why didn't you just tell me then? I was almost certain that you hated me."

Expecting no answer, she turned away sadly, the soft cloth of her long nightgown and her hair twirling around her lithe figure in a graceful manner.

"This conversation never happened, remember that. I can't let you do this to me." She said her final words to him coldly and strictly, and walked away quick before he could grab her again. He felt regret knowing that she would not give the emotions he felt for her back. She had the assurance that he will keep whatever happened tonight with discretion.

'I never meant to fall in love with you Dorothy. But I was alone, and had no one to love. The way you dressed, the way you laughed, and in your nature enticed and amused me, I just couldn't help it.' Trowa thought, his heart already broken by her years ago when she married Quatre, felt as if it was pulverized and smashed down to the size of sawdust.

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Dorothy slowly and quietly crept in their bedroom after a long walk from the terrace to the bedroom wing of the mansion. She felt her eyes fall upon another picture of their wedding, standing on the night stand beside the bed. She guiltily looked at his childlike and naive face, knowing that he was innocent of the occurrence that happened only a while ago in his own house.

'What will I do now?' She asked herself. She traced his face on the picture with her fingers, feeling guilt overcome her, and placed the picture gently back on the night stand.

'Can it be true that I'm falling apart?'

She hastily walked to the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror once she got there. She was terrified of the sight of her own reflection. Her hair was tousled from moving away too quick and trying to struggle from Trowa's grasp. Her face was white, chalky, and blotchy from the lack of sleep and the state of shock. Her cloudy eyes were red from too much rubbing and no sleep. Her lips were swollen and they were nearly chapped.

'You can't let a single kiss tear you apart...you're too strong...'

Quickly, she tore away her gaze from the mirror and grabbed a toothbrush from the counter. She filled the top of it with toothpaste and stuck it in her mouth. She cleaned the inside of her mouth thoroughly, trying to scrub off every inch of him. No trace of him should be sensed. After washing her mouth, she went to the adjacent closet to change her nightgown. It carried too much of his scent. She picked up a pair of fuzzy and innocent pajamas and replaced the nightgown with it.

'What if I'm not as strong as I used to be?'

As she returned to the bathroom, she took a bar of soap and fiercely cleansed her face, reddening and scratching it. She then took a brush from her vanity set and raked it down on her shoulder-length hair, smoothing it and making sure it was neat.

Satisfied and content with her appearance in the mirror, she put the brush down on the counter and smiled at her reflection, feeling much more cleansed and refined.

Returning back quietly to the bedroom, she still had the guilt she carried from the incident at the terrace.

She wondered why she felt so guilty about it. 'Trowa was the one who kissed you, and you resisted it...you were only shocked and that's why you couldn't fight him, and besides he was too strong...'

She pulled back the covers, and crawled in the bed.

"I can only dream and wish that I was him and you were mine can't I?"

"I can only dream and wish that I was him and you were mine can't I?"

"I can only dream and wish that I was him and you were mine can't I?"

What Trowa earlier said repeated in Dorothy's mind over and over. What he had said haunted her and made her feel unsecure. The room temperature seemed to drop, and she shivered under the covers.

She shifted uncomfortably from one position to another, trying to find a position that satisfied her. She tried lying on her back, shifting from side to side; she punched her pillow, and curled up in a little ball. At some certain point, she just gave up and, in defeat, she just slammed the pillow on her face.

'How will Quatre react when he finds out about Trowa's feelings for me? And what about my possible feelings for him?'

She moved her legs to her chest, hugging her knees, wishing she could feel the homely and intimate warmth of Quatre's presence.

'But I am in love with Quatre, not Trowa...' Dorothy convinced herself before yawning lazily and drifting off to sleep.

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"Mrs. Winner?" Rashid called out as he knocked in Dorothy's door the next day.

"Yes what is it?" She said, her eyes still closed.

"Mr. Winner is on the other line, he wishes to speak to you."

"Tell Mr. Winner that I-- I will be there shortly...I'll take the call here. Thank you Rashid." Dorothy said, getting up and walking to the table.

"Hello Mr. Winner, what is it that you want?" Dorothy called out to the videophone after starting the connection. She looked down at the desk, trying to avoid looking at him.

"I called to apologize Dorothy, we can't go on like this whenever I have to leave."

"And you are expecting me to forgive you?"

"Yes."

'I horribly miss him, and I would forgive him for anything, absolutely anything.'

"Then you are wasting your time." She said as she flipped her hair and turned off the connection.

She regretted having to do this to him, and she knew she could have forgiven him in a split second of he wanted her to, he didn't even have to ask, but she just couldn't help but be Dorothy.

She sighed and stood up, and told herself to face Trowa as if the incident last night did not happen at all.

'If I'm determined to forget about what happened last night, then why is it so hard? What is the matter? Don't tell me you're actually affected by the words of this certain acrobat?'

Just as she was about to open the door, someone knocked softly and she proceeded to open the door.

It was Trowa.

She gasped and her eyes grew wide at the sight of him.

"Trowa."

"Dorothy..."

They stared at each other emotionlessly for a few moments, and after a while, be began to speak.

"About last night, it was a mistake..."

"Forget about it, I'm willing to forgive you as long as you don't tell anyone and as long as it will never happen again...promise me it won't, please Trowa..." She softly cut in, lowering her eyes.

"But whether it was a mistake or not, I want you to know that I still do love you and I will watch over you like you have always been mine."

The only thing she liked about him was that bluntness of his, yes they caught her off guard at certain times, but because of the real truth in it, she believed in every blunt statement he said to her.

She could still remember those few but curt words at Libra.

"How sad, a woman who cannot cry."

Even though Quatre changed her, and she was grateful for it, Trowa's words made her realize that she needed to change.

"Dorothy...if it was me you saw first, do you think things would have gone the other way?"

She raised her head up slowly to meet his nonchalant gaze, only to be surprised by the fire and the intensity being reflected in his eyes.

"Perhaps..."

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Quatre sighed contentedly as he put his bags down, to knock on his door. The whole household thought he was still abroad, and he had to call out a cab to get home. As he knocked, he felt a cold shiver run down his spine, as if he felt something had gone wrong.

'What could it possibly be?'

He shrugged it off, and proceeded to knock on the door. A few moments later, Rashid came out and as he saw Quatre, he became utterly surprised.

"Master Quatre! I thought you were away, conducting business!"

"I just had to get home, when I realized my problems did not concern my business, but my own personal relationship with my family. I need to spend my time here. With them."

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