Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Weakest Link - Gundam Style ❯ The Weakest Link - Gundam Style Part 3 ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

The Weakest Link (Part 3)

Jayde Glazzard
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Jayde Glazzard
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2001-08-29T12:57:00Z
2001-08-29T12:59:00Z
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The Weakest Link (Part
3)

Ok, guys. This is the last chapter. Thanx to all
those who reviewed and encouraged me to continue with this story! Especially
Kat Dickerson, if it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't of been able to have all
these questions. So half this fic is hers. The funny half!

Une: Ok, now that the weak WuFei has gone, I hope you
are able to get more than the £400 you've accumulated so far. Because, lets
face it, you can't do shit with £400. Let's play The Weakest Link!

Heero, what's the deal with you wanting to kill
everyone?

Heero: I…errrr…I can't say…

Une: Why not? ::looking pissed off::

Heero: Because it's embarrassing!

Une: So! Do you want this money or what??

Heero: Alright, alright…'BANK'…I get a perverse
sexual feeling when I kill people! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??

Duo: Whoa! ::looks discusted::Too much info!

Une: Yes. Correct. <£50 banked, chain starts from
£0>

Duo, how many ribs has your "DeathSythe Hell" have?

Duo: Hey, are you trying to make out that I'm dumb?

Une: I don't need to try. Now answer the goddamn
question.

Duo: 6, it has 6 ribs. ::whispers to Heero and
Quatre:: I think it that time of the month for her…

Heero & Quatre: hehehehehehehehe

Une: Correct. <£50>

Quatre, seems as though you think my mood is so funny
you can miss a turn.

Quatre: ::cries:: Waaaaaaaa!!! *sob* *sniffel* It's
not fair!!!!!

Une: It's not meant to be fair. IT'S THE WEAKEST LINK!

Zechs, what were you and Noin doing in the Tallgeese
last night?

Zechs: ::Blushes and looks at Noin::

Noin: ::Deathglaring™ at Zechs as if to say 'Don't
you dare!'::

Zechs: Well…errrr…

Une: You've got to tell me or you don't get the money!

Zechs: ::looks back to Noin:: We made love…

Noin: That's it! I'm out of here! I don't need this
shit! ::walks off:: and don't think your getting any tonight, Zechs!

Zechs: ::runs after her:: Hey Noin, you can't be
serious! You know I love you! Noin!! Thanks a lot, Une!

Une: ::waves:: No Problem. Just as long as I break up
one couple during this fic, I'm a happy schizophrenic!

(Zechs & Noin off stage)

Heero: I'm going to. This is getting boring. I got
people to kill.

Duo: Me too!

Dorothy: Yes, your quite right. I must go to. Wars
don't just start themselves, y'know. Lady Une, you got anyone that needs to be
destroyed? I might as well do it seems though I'm leaving and your hosting a
show.

Une: Yes, thank you. ::Pulls out names on a list as
long as toilet paper:: Here you go. ::gives to Dorothy:: Thanks a lot, Dorothy.

Quatre: Do you mind if I leave with you Miss Dorothy?
::blushing::

Dorothy: Errrmm…ok!

Heero, Duo, Quatre & Dorothy walk off stage.

Une: Ok…errr…looks like we are left with Relena Peacecraft
and Mister Treize for a 'Sudden Death' round!

::Scary Metal Music::

Une: Ok I will ask you both five questions each, the
first one who gets the most at the end: wins!

Ok, Relena "Miss Queen Pansey-ass" Why the fuck did
you shoot my goddamn rose? Didn't you know that was from Treize before I left
for space? He put it on me himself!! ::in dream land::

Treize: Well…beautiful women should wear beautiful
things. It's a shame that those of lesser value threaten beautiful things.

Relena: Well actually I was aiming to kill you, but
your lover-boy's daisy got in the way.

Une: OOOOOOoo! Them's fightin' words! ::rolling up
her sleeve, wanting to punch Relena::

Treize: Please, lady. Do not lower yourself to her
level. You're so much higher than her. ::Throws a dashing smile and raises a
suggestive eyebrow::

Une: Ok! ::giggles like a school girl::

I'll get all wrinkles in this jacket and it'll end up
looking like Dermail's ass!

Treize, what is your favorite colour?

Treize: ::looks and points to his Oz suite:: I like
this colour!

Une: Yes, it's a lovely colour. But what is it called?

Treize: Hmmmmmmm, I'd say it was a Royal Persian Blue.

Une: Correct, it is BLUE.

<One point each>

Relena, why are you so hell-bent on getting Heero? He
doesn't like you. No one likes you.

Relena: Well, he really likes me! Haven't you heard
the saying "You always hurt the one you love."?

Une: Yeah, but they didn't have you and Heero in
mind. They were thinking of me and Treize, for example, when he sneaked behind
me and pinched my waist, and I gave him a damn good slap for doing it in
public. That's who they were on about.

Treize, how do you spell dog?

Treize: Lady, that's too easy! Why don't you give me
harder questions?

Une: Treize, just spell dog!

Treize: ::looks defeated:: R-E-L-E-N-A

Une: But Treize, that's a breed of dog, not the
spelling of the dog in general. I can't allow that, answer.

Treize: ::whines:: But why?

Une: I already told you!

Treize: ::begs:: Let me have the point! Please lady!
I'll do that position tonight, that you like so much.

Une: ::Blushes:: Errrr…OK!

<1 to Relena, 2 to Treize>

Relena, what is the significance of the numbers 13
and 11?

Relena: …Oh…I don't know…they're just numbers…?

Une: Wrong! They represent Treize and I in fan
fiction lingo. There's not enough of them, so I can't really blame you for not
knowing. ::looks in to camera 3:: Do more 13x11's/TkxLU's or I'll kill you all!

Treize...is it true that I'm the #1 in your life? I'm
sure it is... ::taps hand against gun holster::

Treize: Your threats don't scare me, Lady...even if
the answer was no, you still don't scare me!

Une: This pistol's aimed right for your wanker...so
choose your answer carefully…

Treize: ::sweatdrops::
Yes....the answer is yes!

Une: Good boy.

Relena, is it true that you and Dorothy had an affair
during Dorothy's first few days attending your school?

Relena: NO!!!!! THAT IS TOTALLY NOT TRUE! I AM NOT
YURI!!! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THE IDEA THAT I WAS!

Treize: Une, that's my niece your talking about!

Une: I know!

Dorothy: ::popps her head round the stage:: Yes, we
did Miss Relena! You know you weren't getting anywhere with Heero! Hahahahahaha!

Treize: ::faints::

Une: Okay, Treize, since you want a difficult question:
What's the type of virus associated with Ebola?

Treize: That's easy. A filovirus...the tiny group of
infectious organisms that look like little hookworms.

Une: O.o *mutters under breath* Nerd...

Treize: I'm sorry?

Une: Errr...I said...What a large word.

But you were correct.

<1 to Relena and 3 to Treize>

Relena,
Is it or is it not true that you stalked
Heero Yuy to the point of him having to file a restraining order against you?

Relena: Yeah, it's true. But he wouldn't shoot me. I
wanted him to shoot me!

Une: Don't we all!

Mister Treize...is it true that you had
Millardo…errr…Zechs I mean...suspended after you caught him and Noin having sex
in your huge bath?

Treize: ::becomes angry:: Yes I did! That's only for
you and I to...errr...hehehe...I mean… That was a foul thing to do!

Une: But that is a 'Yes', right?

Treize: Yes.

Une: Correct.

<2 to Relena and 4 to Treize>

Relena...is it true that you tried to pose for
playboy, but were denied, because you, oh how did the producers put
it..."had no tits whatsoever?"

Relena: THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!!

Zechs: ::pokes head in:: Yep. It's true. I've got her
measurements!

Relena: YOU'RE MY BROTHER YOU PERVERT!

Zechs: Hey...tits are tits...don't matter who they
belong to!

Noin: ZECHS!

Treize: *faints again*

Zechs: I have your measurements too Une...let's see…

Treize *awakens from fainting* I wouldn't go there,
Millardo...I do have my sword with me....

Zechs: yeah, yeah...anyway...ohhhh...C cup...nice

Une: GET OFF OF MY STAGE YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!

Treize, this question isn't to easy, so here you go,
how many times did we make love last night?

Treize: Hmmmmmmm, ::thinks:: is that including orals?

Une: ::blush:: Yes, that includes 'orals'. ::thinks:: please say 15, it's 15, say 15!

Treize: 21! ::smiles::

Une: O.o Errrr…YOUR RIGHT! You won Treize!! ::runs up
to him::

Treize: Yeah!! ::Picks Une up::

Relena: THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU GAVE HIM EASY QUESTIONS!!

Une: Well Duh! This is THE WEAKEST LINK!! Mister
Treize loosing would be against his ideals, stupid princess! And besides, it's
not you I'm sleeping with!

Come on Treize-chan, let's celebrate!!

Treize: ::Carries Une:: Wooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! And
have hot, dirty, hentai, jungle sex in the bath again!

Une & Treize: YAY!!!!!

Relena: IT'S NOT FAIR! I'M THE GOODY-GOODY! I SHOULD
OF WON! I SHOULD HAVE THE GUYS AND I SHOULD BE GETTING SOME TONIGHT!!

Heero: Tough shit! ::Shoots Relena::

Relena: Heero, you came and shot me ::all happy::

Heero: Shit! I shot her in the head! She should be
dead now!!

Relena: I'm the main character, Heero. Nothing can
kill me. You know that, silly!

Heero: FUCKING HELL!! RUN EVERYONE, IT'S RELENA, AND
SHE WANTS ME!!!

~End!~