Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ There Goes the World ❯ Chapter 8 ( Chapter 8 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Zowe 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Drama / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.29.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 173 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Drama / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.29.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 173 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: Mesa no own Gundam Wing.
AN: To avoid some possible confusion I want everyone to remember that Heero's old acquaintances will be calling him kid since he didn't get the code name Heero Yuy until right before he left for Earth. All right then, now go enjoy the chapter.
"Truth is the degree to which something corresponds with reality." --Dan Barker
There Goes the World
Chapter 8
When dinnertime arrived Duo was just putting the finishing touches on his culinary masterpiece. Once he was done he looked around expecting to see his roommates being drawn to the kitchen by the wonderful aroma of the meal he had prepared. However, neither Heero nor Nezumi were being led zombie-like to the dinner table. Perplexed, Duo went upstairs to find the two. Both were in their respective rooms intently working on their computers. "Come on guys it's dinner time!" he bellowed.
Heero finished his task and joined Duo in the hallway in time to hear Nezumi mumble that she wasn't hungry.
"Ah, come on Nezumi! Stuffing your face once in a while certainly won't hurt you. Besides, you have to judge my cooking and help me prove Heero wrong," Duo pleaded with the young hacker. He gave her his best puppy dog look, and at last she agreed to go down and eat with them.
With his taste testers now accounted for and seated at the kitchen table Duo presented them with their meal. Both simply stared at it.
"What?" Duo asked in alarm.
"It's green," Nezumi answered as she frowned at her plate. Heero nodded his head in agreement. On his plate sat two tacos with the works: peppers, cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, and even guacamole. The strange green substance that Nezumi was currently eyeing was the guacamole, which proudly sat on top of the tacos and other toppings in all its green pasty glory.
"It's guacamole, it's suppose to be green. Try it, it's good," Duo encouraged as he stuffed one of the tacos into his mouth.
"I'm really not hungry." Nezumi got up from her seat as she spoke. "I'll just go back upstairs."
Duo frowned as she left and concern was evident in his bright violet eyes, "She hasn't eaten since this morning. Do you think she's sick or something?"
Heero shrugged. She didn't seem to be sick, and Roger would have told him if she had a serious illness so he doubted that whatever problem she had was life threatening. Besides some sleeping drugs did have an appetite decreasing side effect. However, he knew that most of the drug's side effects should have already worn off.
Heero scraped the strange green paste off with his fork before trying the tacos. As it turned out, Duo actually was a good chef. Heero silently admitted that the tacos were quite tasty as he ate the second one. He took another bite and felt an unusual texture in his mouth; it felt a bit gummy. He swallowed and then inspected the remainder of his dinner. There was a gummy worm stuffed into the meat. Heero frowned and looked up at his comrade.
Duo was grinning like the Cheshire cat, "I put it in there just for you Heero." Heero refused to finish his dinner after that.
*******
Nezumi was reading on her bed when she heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in," she said without looking up from her book. When she heard the click of the doorknob she raised her head to see who her visitor was. Instead of a person she saw something flying for her head. She easily caught the object and looked at it; it was a can of soda. She looked back up at her door to see Heero entering; he was holding something, but his hand obscured her view of the object. She gave him a slightly confused look as a greeting.
Heero approached her and handed her what he held. Nezumi took the offering; it was a sandwich wrapped up in a paper napkin. She gave him another perplexed look.
"You didn't eat before," he explained. Nezumi simply nodded. She expected Heero to leave now that he had completed his mission. Instead Heero took a seat on the foot of her bed. He watched her as she ate, carefully looking for any signs of illness.
Nezumi noticed Heero watching her and commented while she ate, "You're just as bad as Roger." Heero said nothing, and silence reigned in the room. For some reason unknown even to herself Nezumi wanted Heero to talk. So she choice a new topic for conversation, "Why don't you want to remember the past?"
Heero stared at her while he searched for an answer. "The past hurts," he answered vaguely.
"A lot of things a person does in life hurts, but that shouldn't stop you." Heero mulled over words. He almost wanted to roll his eyes at how naive her advice sounded. What did she know about the pain of his past? "Don't give me that look," she scolded. "I can guess at what's going on in your head better then you think. You think I'm stupid and that I don't know what I'm talking about, but you're wrong. I know more then you give me credit for."
Heero raised an eyebrow at her angry words. "And what do you know?"
"That your past wasn't as bad as you make it out to be." Heero's other eyebrow went up with interest, but he said nothing. So Nezumi continued, "Your problem isn't that your entire childhood and adolescence was just one big fucked up mess. Your problem is that you only chose to see the mess; you've forced yourself to forget any of the good things that ever happened to you."
"You really think that's true?" he asked calmly.
"I know it's true."
"How would you know that?"
"Because I knew you, and you haven't changed at all." Nezumi took another bite of her sandwich, and waited for Heero to reply.
His reply never came. Instead, he rose from his spot on the bed and left Nezumi alone to finish her meal. He had just added a few more items on his things to think about list.
*******
The only worthwhile advice Heero had ever received or given was to follow his emotions. He currently felt like taking a walk, and he had every intention of acting on this feeling. He walked past Duo on his way to the door. As he reached for his jacket Duo asked him where he was going.
"Out," was the only the response that Heero gave the other pilot as he closed the door.
Her words ran though his head; out of all them one simple question interested him the most: "Why don't you want to remember the past?" He had never given this matter any thought before. He had never had a reason or a desire to think of his past and had thus refused to do so, believing that the past only held pain and sorrow. After years of avoiding the subject he had somehow forgotten most of the events of his past life.
But was he wrong in avoiding the past as he had? Was there a moment of happiness in his past buried deep beneath the surface of sorrow? He didn't know; he didn't even have a clue to what the answers might be.
Heero wandered down the streets of the slum for a long time. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he was only vaguely aware of his surroundings. When he finally looked around, simply to see where his random steps had guided him, he saw a beaten up sign that said 'Rouges' Island' a few blocks away. His steps then guided him up to the door and inside.
It was much more crowded now that it was nighttime, and the smell of bodies crushed together mixed with the regular odors of the bar. A few patrons glanced in his direction as he made his way to the bar, but most didn't. They were too involved with their drinks or hurried conversions to notice yet another person in the room.
The same bartender from the day before stood chatting with customers and busily fulfilling orders, but now Roger also stood behind the bar. Heero noticed that he was involved in a heated debate with a patron as he drew closer. He took an empty stool a few seats down so that he could over hear the conversation. After the old bartender had given him his drink he tuned into what Roger was saying, "They're all idealistic fools, every single one."
"Yeah, and your little mouse is the worst of the lot."
Roger snorted, "That spot is reserved for her brother. Besides, she came to her senses, didn't she?"
"She came back, but she still thinks the same way they do. Even if this mess does clear she'll get herself in trouble again somehow."
Roger shook his head, "She knows better now."
"No, she doesn't," the man countered. "She still believes in all that communism shit. We both know that she only left because she didn't like them brainwashing people with religion."
"That was only one reason. I should know, I've talked with her all the time since she came back."
"You're lying to yourself if you think she gave up communism completely."
"I know her better than you do, and I know she's rejected all of that nonsense."
"Even if you're right she'll try something and get herself in trouble with the government someday. Even if she just tries to organize a little social reform group ESUN will get all paranoid about it, send the Preventers to crush it, and then throw the little mouse in prison."
Roger nodded in agreement, "You're right about that. She's too stubborn to ever let it all go, and her heart is too good to accept the fact that there will always be social injustice."
The man, having won a partial victory in the debate, let the matter drop and then chose a new topic, "I heard that the kid is back."
Roger nodded, "Yeah, and he hasn't changed a bit."
"Still a closed book then?"
"Yeah. I'm surprised he even asked for help finding Nezumi. Guess he just wanted to get this mission over with." He took a sip from his mug. "You know I tried to help him when he was over at Dr. J's all those years ago. I tried to be nice him, and show him that he didn't have to be a soldier that he could have a normal life, but he never wanted anything to do with it." Roger shook his head sadly. "So I give the kid the one thing that every soldier should have. Gave him something to protect."
The man looked curiously at his drinking partner, "What do you mean?"
"Every soldier needs something to protect so that they know what they're fighting for. J always told the kid he was protecting the colonies, but that's so vague and impersonal. So I gave Dr. J the one thing that I could for the kid to protect. I gave him my little mouse." A smile played on Roger's lips, "it was the only favor that kid ever accepted from anyone."
Heero decided that he had heard more then enough for evening and got up from his stool after slapping a few bills onto the counter.
The smile left Roger's features and was replaced by frown as he shook his head with sorrow, "And wouldn't you know it. Nicholas fouled that up too. Took away the last thing that kid had when he took his sister back." A shiver went up Roger's spine as the cold night air blew in threw the open door; Heero had just left the building.
Had the Zero pilot heard this last statement he might have been one step closer to deciphering why he had hidden from his past but he hadn't. So he continued to wander through the empty streets, still unable to answer his questions, except for maybe one.
When he returned to the house it was dark inside; Duo and Nezumi had gone to bed hours ago. He silently made his way upstairs. He paused in front of his door and glanced down the hall at Nezumi's. He changed his direction and silently crept into her room.
Pale silver moonlight filled the room, and cast its ghostly glow onto a sleeping figure. Heero simply looked at her. Nezumi looked even smaller than usual swallowed up in the fluffy comforter with only her head and a thin arm poking out from its depths. The silver light made her look paler then normal, almost deathly pale. She looked so fragile in the moonlight; one touch might make her brake.
As Heero observed her it occurred to him that such a fragile looking creature would need someone to protect her. Roger's words rang in his ears; she had been his someone to protect. She had helped give him a purpose for fighting. One could even argue a reason to live since fighting had been his life. New questions entered his mind. Why had he ever forgotten her if she had been so important to him, and why where his memories of her still blocked?
If he had only heard Roger's final words he would have known, but he had already left when those words were spoken. Heero's question would be left unanswered until he could break the mental barriers that he had hid his past behind.
*******
AN: I really am going somewhere with all of this. If you're confused just hang on for a little while. Roger will be making an appearance in the next chapter and a lot of things will be explained. Anyway, please review all comments are greatly appreciated.
AN: To avoid some possible confusion I want everyone to remember that Heero's old acquaintances will be calling him kid since he didn't get the code name Heero Yuy until right before he left for Earth. All right then, now go enjoy the chapter.
"Truth is the degree to which something corresponds with reality." --Dan Barker
There Goes the World
Chapter 8
When dinnertime arrived Duo was just putting the finishing touches on his culinary masterpiece. Once he was done he looked around expecting to see his roommates being drawn to the kitchen by the wonderful aroma of the meal he had prepared. However, neither Heero nor Nezumi were being led zombie-like to the dinner table. Perplexed, Duo went upstairs to find the two. Both were in their respective rooms intently working on their computers. "Come on guys it's dinner time!" he bellowed.
Heero finished his task and joined Duo in the hallway in time to hear Nezumi mumble that she wasn't hungry.
"Ah, come on Nezumi! Stuffing your face once in a while certainly won't hurt you. Besides, you have to judge my cooking and help me prove Heero wrong," Duo pleaded with the young hacker. He gave her his best puppy dog look, and at last she agreed to go down and eat with them.
With his taste testers now accounted for and seated at the kitchen table Duo presented them with their meal. Both simply stared at it.
"What?" Duo asked in alarm.
"It's green," Nezumi answered as she frowned at her plate. Heero nodded his head in agreement. On his plate sat two tacos with the works: peppers, cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, and even guacamole. The strange green substance that Nezumi was currently eyeing was the guacamole, which proudly sat on top of the tacos and other toppings in all its green pasty glory.
"It's guacamole, it's suppose to be green. Try it, it's good," Duo encouraged as he stuffed one of the tacos into his mouth.
"I'm really not hungry." Nezumi got up from her seat as she spoke. "I'll just go back upstairs."
Duo frowned as she left and concern was evident in his bright violet eyes, "She hasn't eaten since this morning. Do you think she's sick or something?"
Heero shrugged. She didn't seem to be sick, and Roger would have told him if she had a serious illness so he doubted that whatever problem she had was life threatening. Besides some sleeping drugs did have an appetite decreasing side effect. However, he knew that most of the drug's side effects should have already worn off.
Heero scraped the strange green paste off with his fork before trying the tacos. As it turned out, Duo actually was a good chef. Heero silently admitted that the tacos were quite tasty as he ate the second one. He took another bite and felt an unusual texture in his mouth; it felt a bit gummy. He swallowed and then inspected the remainder of his dinner. There was a gummy worm stuffed into the meat. Heero frowned and looked up at his comrade.
Duo was grinning like the Cheshire cat, "I put it in there just for you Heero." Heero refused to finish his dinner after that.
*******
Nezumi was reading on her bed when she heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in," she said without looking up from her book. When she heard the click of the doorknob she raised her head to see who her visitor was. Instead of a person she saw something flying for her head. She easily caught the object and looked at it; it was a can of soda. She looked back up at her door to see Heero entering; he was holding something, but his hand obscured her view of the object. She gave him a slightly confused look as a greeting.
Heero approached her and handed her what he held. Nezumi took the offering; it was a sandwich wrapped up in a paper napkin. She gave him another perplexed look.
"You didn't eat before," he explained. Nezumi simply nodded. She expected Heero to leave now that he had completed his mission. Instead Heero took a seat on the foot of her bed. He watched her as she ate, carefully looking for any signs of illness.
Nezumi noticed Heero watching her and commented while she ate, "You're just as bad as Roger." Heero said nothing, and silence reigned in the room. For some reason unknown even to herself Nezumi wanted Heero to talk. So she choice a new topic for conversation, "Why don't you want to remember the past?"
Heero stared at her while he searched for an answer. "The past hurts," he answered vaguely.
"A lot of things a person does in life hurts, but that shouldn't stop you." Heero mulled over words. He almost wanted to roll his eyes at how naive her advice sounded. What did she know about the pain of his past? "Don't give me that look," she scolded. "I can guess at what's going on in your head better then you think. You think I'm stupid and that I don't know what I'm talking about, but you're wrong. I know more then you give me credit for."
Heero raised an eyebrow at her angry words. "And what do you know?"
"That your past wasn't as bad as you make it out to be." Heero's other eyebrow went up with interest, but he said nothing. So Nezumi continued, "Your problem isn't that your entire childhood and adolescence was just one big fucked up mess. Your problem is that you only chose to see the mess; you've forced yourself to forget any of the good things that ever happened to you."
"You really think that's true?" he asked calmly.
"I know it's true."
"How would you know that?"
"Because I knew you, and you haven't changed at all." Nezumi took another bite of her sandwich, and waited for Heero to reply.
His reply never came. Instead, he rose from his spot on the bed and left Nezumi alone to finish her meal. He had just added a few more items on his things to think about list.
*******
The only worthwhile advice Heero had ever received or given was to follow his emotions. He currently felt like taking a walk, and he had every intention of acting on this feeling. He walked past Duo on his way to the door. As he reached for his jacket Duo asked him where he was going.
"Out," was the only the response that Heero gave the other pilot as he closed the door.
Her words ran though his head; out of all them one simple question interested him the most: "Why don't you want to remember the past?" He had never given this matter any thought before. He had never had a reason or a desire to think of his past and had thus refused to do so, believing that the past only held pain and sorrow. After years of avoiding the subject he had somehow forgotten most of the events of his past life.
But was he wrong in avoiding the past as he had? Was there a moment of happiness in his past buried deep beneath the surface of sorrow? He didn't know; he didn't even have a clue to what the answers might be.
Heero wandered down the streets of the slum for a long time. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he was only vaguely aware of his surroundings. When he finally looked around, simply to see where his random steps had guided him, he saw a beaten up sign that said 'Rouges' Island' a few blocks away. His steps then guided him up to the door and inside.
It was much more crowded now that it was nighttime, and the smell of bodies crushed together mixed with the regular odors of the bar. A few patrons glanced in his direction as he made his way to the bar, but most didn't. They were too involved with their drinks or hurried conversions to notice yet another person in the room.
The same bartender from the day before stood chatting with customers and busily fulfilling orders, but now Roger also stood behind the bar. Heero noticed that he was involved in a heated debate with a patron as he drew closer. He took an empty stool a few seats down so that he could over hear the conversation. After the old bartender had given him his drink he tuned into what Roger was saying, "They're all idealistic fools, every single one."
"Yeah, and your little mouse is the worst of the lot."
Roger snorted, "That spot is reserved for her brother. Besides, she came to her senses, didn't she?"
"She came back, but she still thinks the same way they do. Even if this mess does clear she'll get herself in trouble again somehow."
Roger shook his head, "She knows better now."
"No, she doesn't," the man countered. "She still believes in all that communism shit. We both know that she only left because she didn't like them brainwashing people with religion."
"That was only one reason. I should know, I've talked with her all the time since she came back."
"You're lying to yourself if you think she gave up communism completely."
"I know her better than you do, and I know she's rejected all of that nonsense."
"Even if you're right she'll try something and get herself in trouble with the government someday. Even if she just tries to organize a little social reform group ESUN will get all paranoid about it, send the Preventers to crush it, and then throw the little mouse in prison."
Roger nodded in agreement, "You're right about that. She's too stubborn to ever let it all go, and her heart is too good to accept the fact that there will always be social injustice."
The man, having won a partial victory in the debate, let the matter drop and then chose a new topic, "I heard that the kid is back."
Roger nodded, "Yeah, and he hasn't changed a bit."
"Still a closed book then?"
"Yeah. I'm surprised he even asked for help finding Nezumi. Guess he just wanted to get this mission over with." He took a sip from his mug. "You know I tried to help him when he was over at Dr. J's all those years ago. I tried to be nice him, and show him that he didn't have to be a soldier that he could have a normal life, but he never wanted anything to do with it." Roger shook his head sadly. "So I give the kid the one thing that every soldier should have. Gave him something to protect."
The man looked curiously at his drinking partner, "What do you mean?"
"Every soldier needs something to protect so that they know what they're fighting for. J always told the kid he was protecting the colonies, but that's so vague and impersonal. So I gave Dr. J the one thing that I could for the kid to protect. I gave him my little mouse." A smile played on Roger's lips, "it was the only favor that kid ever accepted from anyone."
Heero decided that he had heard more then enough for evening and got up from his stool after slapping a few bills onto the counter.
The smile left Roger's features and was replaced by frown as he shook his head with sorrow, "And wouldn't you know it. Nicholas fouled that up too. Took away the last thing that kid had when he took his sister back." A shiver went up Roger's spine as the cold night air blew in threw the open door; Heero had just left the building.
Had the Zero pilot heard this last statement he might have been one step closer to deciphering why he had hidden from his past but he hadn't. So he continued to wander through the empty streets, still unable to answer his questions, except for maybe one.
When he returned to the house it was dark inside; Duo and Nezumi had gone to bed hours ago. He silently made his way upstairs. He paused in front of his door and glanced down the hall at Nezumi's. He changed his direction and silently crept into her room.
Pale silver moonlight filled the room, and cast its ghostly glow onto a sleeping figure. Heero simply looked at her. Nezumi looked even smaller than usual swallowed up in the fluffy comforter with only her head and a thin arm poking out from its depths. The silver light made her look paler then normal, almost deathly pale. She looked so fragile in the moonlight; one touch might make her brake.
As Heero observed her it occurred to him that such a fragile looking creature would need someone to protect her. Roger's words rang in his ears; she had been his someone to protect. She had helped give him a purpose for fighting. One could even argue a reason to live since fighting had been his life. New questions entered his mind. Why had he ever forgotten her if she had been so important to him, and why where his memories of her still blocked?
If he had only heard Roger's final words he would have known, but he had already left when those words were spoken. Heero's question would be left unanswered until he could break the mental barriers that he had hid his past behind.
*******
AN: I really am going somewhere with all of this. If you're confused just hang on for a little while. Roger will be making an appearance in the next chapter and a lot of things will be explained. Anyway, please review all comments are greatly appreciated.