Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Things you would NEVER hear them say: GW Edition ❯ Things you would NEVER hear them say: GW Edition ( Prologue )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Ok, whoever started the "Things you would never hear them say" Epidemic, blame it on them!

*grin* Well, here's my renditon of....

Things you would never hear them say: Gundam Wing Edition.

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Quatre:
I want some beer! Anybody got some hard liquor?
Screw that violin! Music is for pussies!
I think I might actually want to get a life.
You know, I'm not really gay.

Wufei:
Oh, I just love that shade of pink on you!
Women are equal to men, and are in no way inferior. In fact they are superior! I want to join NOW!!!(National Org. for Women.)
I love Pokemon! That Pikachu is just SOSOSOSOSO adorable!! (Or my title: Puke'e'mon.)
I just had a bad dream. Wanna cuddle?
Total Peace is such a realistic and reachable goal.
I think I need major therapy.

Trowa:
I think I want to comb my hair over to the other side, today.
I sleep in-*coughcough* with, I mean...with a teddy.
I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to go home at the end of the day, and cuddle by the fire with that special somebody. *looks at Quatre*

Quatre:
Back up, Bitch.

Trowa:
*grins evilly* Only if you say please.

Quatre:
*VOMITS*

Heero:
Relena, will you make mad, passionate love to me down by the fire?
Hmmm. I just really don't feel like killing anyone today.*skips off happily*
Quatre, mind if I borrow your violin? I've taken up playing, its just so intellectually stimulating!*clasps hands and smiles*
You know what else? I don't think I want to self-detonate my Gundam. We've seen some pretty good times, Wing Zero and I...*tears up as he gets setimental*
Screw saving the world, I am going shopping! WOOHOO!

Relena:
Heero, go to hell. And on your way, take Pagan. He should be dead by now anyways.
Ok, I'm tired of all this pacifism bullsh*t! No more Ms. Nice Girl!
I think I want a car thats not pink. No, I KNOW that I want a car thats not pink!
I am QUEEN OF THE WORLD! BOW BEFORE ME, LOWLY PEASANTS!!!
You know what, Heero? Screw this whole pining thing! I'm famous! I'll just go out with Brad Pitt.

Brad Pitt:
Why, hello Heero. *suggestive wink*

Releeena:
Dammit all to hell!

Trieze:
I'll get you my pretty, and you're little Gundam too!
*sees Quatre, and in seductive voice says* Why, hello Quatre.

Quatre:
*starts to froth at the mouth while he goes into covulsions*

Duo:
*to Quatre*You're just too hot for your own good!
I really think we need to think this through...
I bless you in the name of the Father, may you have a long life...
My favorite things are: fuzzy bunnies, pink frosting on anything, fuzzy bunnies, puppies, fuzzy bunnies, frolicking through the countryside with fuzzy bunnies....umm...did I mention fuzzy bunnies?

Trowa:
Why, hello Duo.

Duo*worried*:
Where's Hilde?

Hilde:
Where you left me. You arrogant *message briefly terminated due to profanity...hey, even I am not that bad!!..........forty minutes later, she finishes.*... Ahem...I have an anger management problem. *smile*

All:
*crickets chirp*

Heero:
And I thought I was bad.

Relena:
Shut the *AGAIN...message terminated due to profanity....just think of it as a long beep. ^^*

Quatre:
*sidles up to Relena* Wanna go get a drink, baby?

Relena:
Sorry, I only date heterosexuals.

Qautre:
But I AM A HETEROSEXUAL! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!

Trowa:
*appears out of nowhere* Why, hello Quatre. *suggestive wink*

Quatre:
*glowers*

Duo:
*singing* First I was afraid, I was petrified....

Trowa, and Wufei:
*runs to Duo and stares, drooling like idiots.*

Quatre:
Screw this. I'm getting the hell outta Dodge.*walks off*

Relena:
Now this is more than even I can take.

Duo:
*still singing* But then I spent so many nights thinkin how you did me wrong..

Heero:
Relena, I'm beggin here! *is on his knees* Please, marry me!

Relena:
*walks off disgusted*

Trowa:
*sneaks up on Heero* Wow. Heero, on his knees.

Heero:
*eyes grow to the size of a tire on an 18 wheeler* Umm...*tries to get up, but Trowa holds him down*

Duo:
*yesh, still singing* Ohhh....go on, now go...walk out the door...just turn around now, You're not welcome anymore...

Trowa:
Just answer me this one question Heero...

Heero:
*winces* Will you let me up?

Trowa:
Sure.

Heero:
*nods grimly* Ok, shoot.

Trowa:
*leans in close, and whispers in Heero's ear: Who's your daddy?*

Heero:
*struggles to get up, but can't.* Let me up, please...*cries*

Duo:
*STILL SINGING* As long as I know how to love, I know I will surivie! I will survive....

Trowa:
Oh, I'll let you up...eventually...

Heero:
Eep.*is terribly worried about what will happen in the next few minutes* Um...*clears throat and yells* HHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE....

*Curtain drops on our scene*

Heero:
EEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP...* mysteriously choked*

Duo:
I will Survive!....* end of song...scattered applause* Thank you, thank you..you're a great audience! I'll be here all week! Thank youuu....

* * *


*Snort, giggle, snort..choke* No, not that kind of choked, you PERVERT!

I hope this rendition of "They'd never say that" brought you as much happiness as it did me. Looking back over it, I realize that...I AM SO TWISTED...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*cough, sputter, choke*

*muttering* stupid evil villian laugh...

~TenshiKachuu