Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ To Hurt The One You Loved ❯ Chapter 1

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

have been too goddamn happy lately. All I've written is happy little fluff and humor fics. AND I'M FUCKING TIRED OF IT!! I am pissed off. I need ANGST!! To some people it may come as a shock that I love angsty and dark fics, judging by my work at least, but that's only because I don't get around to writing them. So sit back and let the angst BEGIN!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I own nothing.

patted me consolingly on the shoulder, silently comforting me through this "difficult and sadening time".

we were, all the remaining pilots and the queen of the world sitting in a hospital waiting room mourning the death of the hero of the war, and they were comforting his killer. It was hillarious.
mean, think of the *irony*. Just thinking about it made me burst out laughing.


. . What's wrong Yuy?" I said in a mock concerned voice and looked over at him standing there on the ledge. "Feeling surprised? Betrayed? Hurt?" I asked, taking another drag on my second cigarette. He just stood, staring at me in disbelief before he finally found his voice and said in a wavering tone,
. . You're not yourself. . ." He trailed off. I quirked an eyebrow.
. . I am exactly what I was all along." I looked over at him again. "You have just never seen it" And with that I pushed him. His arms spun reflexivley for a moment before he he fell back, looking me straight in the eye with such a betrayed look. . . so much hurt in those eyes. . . so much agony. . .
but it was fucking hilarious.
down I saw he had about two seconds before he hit the ground, he was going almost head first past the windows of the fifty story apartment complex, head bent so he could look at me and his feet up in the air. The idiot wasn't even trying to lessen the impact to his spinal column. And he always called me "baka".
the cheery little guy I was, I blew him a kiss.

love you." The eternal clicking of the keys halted.
have a mission." He stated after a pause, as if he hadn't heard me. I stared at him in all his post-cotial glory. His hair was tousled a bit more than usual and he was shirtless with only a bare white cotton sheet preventing complete exposure. He was extremely pretty. Not beautiful, to be beautiful is to be unattainable, and I had attained this stunning example of male flesh not an hour ago.
love you." I tried again. At the time I was probably grasping at straws, I felt that if I said it again he would love me back. It's actually rather funny how delusional I was back the, now that you think about it. He looked back at me. I noticed how incredibly sharp the lines of his face and his mucsles were at that moment. During sex I had always thought of him as soft. Like a goose down pillow you could fall back on to. All bronzed skin, tainted slightly by salty sting of sweat, like a Greek statue. Perfect in every way.
don't love you." He said, totally deadpan. I should have figured that one out before. I loved to love him, loved our relationship. And brecause I loved it so much it just figures that it would have to die. I could even say that my heart broke when he said that, that's what most people would think. But I don't lie. Not even to myself. So, no, my heart didn't break, instead, my mask broke. Shattered into a thousand peices, almost never to rear its smiling face again.

'hmm'd thoughtfully, staring at a spot about three feet above his head. I had loved him, so that meant he had to die, Shinigami kills the ones he loves, right? But back to the problem at hand. How to deal with it, though? I didn't want to kill him just yet. I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me. Well, not exactly. A wry grin spread over my face, replacing the normally manic one that had frozen there at his earlier words. There, that would be perfect.
I was a good fuck though, huh?" I asked still grinning and looking him in the eye now. Suddenly he was pinning me down to the bed, hands held above my head. He looked pretty pissed too.
you were a good fuck." He spat. Oooh, he sounded *real* angry, then. "But that was it." He continued, now smiling wickedly. "Just a cheap whore, a release. You were never anything more. And you never will be. You'll always just be a cheap, low-life, common street whore. Even if you were an exceptionally skilled one." He was panting now. And no wonder, getting himself all worked up trying to bait me. Pity, it didn't work.
quirked an eyebrow, silently questioning if he was done, an small smirk pulling my mouth that I knew would would annoy him no end. "Well it's good to be good at something." I said impudently. He looked almost confused at my cool attitude. What, did he think that I would break down and start sobbing uncontrollably? Did he really expect those insults to get to me? I mean, "common"? I was one of five teenagers who had flown a giant mobile suit to win a war. What the hell is common about *that*? Besides, I had been called a lot worse before. He growled, seemingly in frustration. Under diffrent circumstances I would have thought that sexy as hell. Still did, actually.
don't love you." He growled out.
know, I heard that people who repeat themselves do it because they can't remember things."
gave another growl, glaring at me for all he was worth.
he was off me so fast I didn't realize where he had gone. Before I knew it he was gone out the door with only the echoing of a slam any testimony to his presence in the room.
grinned. It was good to be God, even if it was of Death.

stared at me. Completely understandable as I probably looked pretty nuts right now. I was supposed to be mourning the death of my best friend/lover (at least to the other pilots) and here I was laughing my ass off. The look on thier faces only made me laugh harder.
. ." Quatre said worriedly. "Are you alright?" Good old Quatre. Always looking out for me. Sweet kid really, but way too innocent. He needed to get a taste of the real world.
Nothing at all." I said after I had recovered from my laughing fit, although a huge smile still graced my face. "As a matter of fact I have never felt better."

was standing on top of an apartment complex when he found me. Having rented an apertment that didn't allow smoking in the rooms I had gone up to the roof. My attention was suddenly drawn away from the view at that point because the only door leading up here opened and out stepped the last person I ever expected to see.

just stood there. Dressed in slightly too large jeans and a baggy green sweater rolled up at the cuffs. He even had those god-awful yellow sneakers. He still just stood there, looking mildly unsure. Heh, Heero. Unsure. Heh, heh. He looked like he was building up his courage for something. He took a deep breath and finally said,

wasn't that anti-climactic?
well, well. Hee-chan.What are you doing here?" I said with out turning to him. I continued to stare out onto the massive, sprawling anthill they called a city. I heard him take a step closer to me. Automatically my hand reached for my jacket pocket, pulling out a half empty pack of cigarettes and a silver lighter. I put a cigarette to my lips and replaced the pack in my jacket pocket and lit up. If Heero was surprised he didn't show it.
smoking has been my little secret from the guys. I can't remeber how I started but I had been since before the war. They didn't know I chain-smoked and I wasn't about to tell them. And even if by some off chance they did ask me, I had a million diffrent ways to avoid answering. Like I said, I don't lie, I always tell the truth. But there is a diffrence between truth and honesty
. . Did you start smoking because I. . . Because we. . ." He asked almost timidly. At least as timid as Heero get. I laughed harshly, cutting him off.
I said flatly. "Don't flatter yourself." He looked taken aback at this. "So. . . What's your reason for coming up here? Don't tell me it was just a social call." I said sarcastically.
I . . . want what we had before." He said taking another step forward. I was mildly surprised at this. So the perfect soldier decided to have feelings after all? Well it's a little late for that.
Hee-chan." His face brightened at this. A small smile crept its way onto his face.
. ." He said happily, almost like a sigh of relief.
one condition." His face froze.
favors or freebies this time, buddy-boy. I'm chargin' you." God, the look on his face was priceless. He looked so confused. Was this actually a difficult concept for him? We fuck and he pays for it. Simple.
. . Duo I-" I cut him off abruptly.
Hee-chan, but I gotta eat and there are richer fucks than you out there." He's still looking at me in that same horrified way. "I mean, I wanna fuck you real bad, but I don't just put out for nothing."
said that you loved me." Oooh, he's starting to sound desperate now.
I ask, throwing the cigarette onto the ground and mashing it with my boot. "You think I still do? Come on Heero. This is the real world, no "happily ever after" no "Ai shitero zutto". You rejected me once and I am not going to come crawling back to you like some dependant little slut. If you want fairy tales than go back to your princess." I smirked "After all, aren't you her knight in shining armour?"
face was a mask of horror and rejection as he backed up away from me only stopping when he reached the edge of the roof. Pulling another cigarette out from the pack in my jacket pocket I lit up again and smiled around the thin cylinder sticking out of my mouth.
. . What's wrong Yuy?"

. . " Quatre said again biting his lip. "Are you sure you're all right? I know this has been a very difficult time for you, what with Heero's death and all, and I know you might be feeling guilty but there was nothing you could have done. . ." He trails off.
know Q, you're right." I say, Quatre's face finally relaxing. "But there was something I could have NOT done." They're all staring at me now. Ah, that's right. They hadn't known I had broken up with Heero.
. . What on earth are you talking about Maxwell?" Wufei's asks looking perplexed. I smile sweetly.
Wu-chan. I could have NOT pushed him." Oh, man the looks on thier faces are making it hard not to burst out laughing again. I decide at this point that I should say something to placate them or I might not be leaving here with a fully functional jaw. "You see, we broke it off a little while ago. We had a slight. . ." I pause for a moment trying to find the right way to phrase this. ". . .conflict in intrests." Relena cuts in.
She's looking pretty scndalized right now. "You mean you and Heero had a. . . a relationaship?" I nod. "But. . .but. . ." She splutters. "You're both boys! And I know Heero would never do such a horrible thing! He loved *me*!"
I don't know about love, princess, but yes, Heero did 'do such a horrible thing' " I say testily. Can't a guy just tell a simple story with out an interragation? "Any way, we broke it off and I was minding my own buisness, trying to get on with my life, and suddenly Hee-chan shows up. He says he wants to start over again. I give him my answer and he doesn't like it. You know perfectly well that Heero can get violent. When he got closer than I was comfortable with I pushed him away from me and he just fell over the edge." All perfectly true statements. The fact they had little to nothing to do with eachother is irrelevant. There is a diffrence between truth and honesty.
looks like he's going to start crying, Wufei looks shocked, Trowa's still indiffrent and Relena looks like she gone into shock.
Duo. . . Duo, I never knew you and Heero had been having problems." Quatre is actually starting to cry now. "if you ever need a place to stay you can always come to me."
the gullibility of mortal men.
Quatre, still in tears, leaves the room to go make some tea I smile secretly to myself.
that they've bought that story I can go on my merry way. But what to do? Maybe, I should consider my previous profession. Hmm, "Duo Maxwell, former Gundam pilot, wanted across the globe for terroism and the slaughter of millions of innocents"?
like the sound of that.

KNOW I posted this before so either I deleted it or FF.net did. Since I'm not going against any of the rules I guess I deleted it by accident. But its back up now so no harm done.


-Lyjin