Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ To See You Again ❯ Upon Awakening ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9: Upon Awaking

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I awoke the next morning to find Duo sprawled half way on top of me. His head was resting on my chest and both arms were some how wrapped tightly around my waist. I could feel one of Duo's long legs in between mine and entangled with one of them as well. His breathing was soft and even, but I could feel wetness on my chest and stared down at Duo. He'd been crying before we went to sleep, but his tears should have dried by now, unless he was still crying even in his sleep.

His cheeks were wet and it seemed like a never-ending stream of tears escaped those closed eyes. I felt my heart constrict as I thought of what he had said last night.

He wanted me to take him, in order to thank me for staying with him. He said that he would give me anything to keep me from leaving. It nearly broke my heart to see him so…willing, so desperate to give himself to me and let me mark him as mine in the most intimate of ways, just to keep me from leaving.

It was like he lowered his self worth to the level of a whore. He would exchange sex for the feeling of safety I had made him feel. It wasn't that I didn't want to make love to Duo. It was just that the reasons he was giving me for wanting me to take him weren't out of love, but fear. Fear that I would be disgusted with him and leave him alone and broken. I would never willingly do that to him, ever. He was to enchanting a creature to ever be used and thrown away like that. I was determined to show him how beautiful he really was and when the right time came I would show him what physical love was supposed to feel like. The only love he had ever known was painful and ended in him being raped. I had to prove to him that being in a relationship wasn't supposed to be like that.

I felt Duo move against me and then tilt his face towards me. Soon his eyes fluttered open and he looked at me with those gorgeous amethyst jewels that were his eyes. Confusion, then realization flitted through them, he pulled back away from me and moved to the other side of the bed, curling into a fetal position and tucking his chin to his chest. I could see a tremor course through his entire body violently. Tears began gushing from his tightly closed eyes and he whimpered softly.

The state that he was in shocked me. He had been fine while he slept even with the tears he had shed, but when he realized I was still here with him and looked at me, he pulled away. I reached out to him, to touch his shoulder and he flinched at my touch but I didn't remove my hand.

"Duo, why are you acting like this? You're okay. I'm still here with you. Tell me what's wrong, please?" I begged of him. I had to know what upset him so badly. I saw his mouth move quickly and some sounds escaped his lips but I couldn't hear them. "Duo speak up and tell me again what's wrong, please?"

I inched a little closer to him, but not too much since he was close to the edge of the other side of the bed and I didn't want him to fall off. Duo then started again and this time, I made out what he was saying.

"You're disgusted by me aren't you? You're staying here out of pity, but you don't have to. You can still take me if you want to. That's all I'm good for any way. That's what every single horny male wants me for. All I am to them is a piece of ass, so why don't you just take me and leave. You don't have to stay with little messed up Duo. You can have me and then leave. I won't tell Quatre. You don't have to put on an act of being kind to get into my pants. I like you Heero, but how could you like me? I'm only good for one thing and that's …"

I quickly moved over to him and silenced him with a kiss before he could continue. He thought he was only good for sex, and that's what I wanted him for. How far from the truth did he go to come up with that? I knew though that due to his past, he was having a hard time believing that I actually wanted him for who he was, not what. I didn't want him because of his looks. I didn't want him because he was a hot dancer. I didn't want to jump his bones.

I wanted him because he carried a sort of light within himself. He was a free spirit, but when something seemed to good to be true, it seemed that he couldn't accept it. He denied that anyone could ever really love him and I would prove to him that he was wrong.

Gently I pried him out of his fetal position and pulled him into my arms and let him rest his head against my chest. I sat there in the middle of the bed with my arms tightly wrapped around this beautiful man as his tears kept coming.

"Duo. You do not disgust me. I'm intrigued by you and how much life you carry about you. You are beautiful Duo and I would never use you for sex as I told you last night. You are not worthless. You mean so much to me that if I ever lost you, it would kill me. I am staying with you because you need me to be here with you and I want to be here by your side. I love you Duo, don't ever doubt that. It might seem sudden but there's something about you that draws me in to you. I don't know if it's fate or destiny if you even believe in stuff like that, but I know that some how, I'm supposed to be with you."

I leaned down and kiss the top of his head. He snuggled into my chest even more and then wrapped his arms around my waist tightly. Clinging onto the comfort I offered him, and I wasn't about to let go.

"I know what you mean Heero." Duo whispered to me. He raised his head to stare into my eyes with trails of tears still evident on his cheeks. I pulled back a little and looked at him.

"What do you mean Duo?" I asked quietly.

"I feel drawn to you too. It's so powerful that it scares me. I don't want you to leave me Heero, and I know I'm acting silly but it's just so…hard from me to accept that you actually like me for me and don't just want to screw me." He smirked a little, though I didn't see how that thought could cause him to smirk.

"I won't leave you Duo, I promise." I told him to quiet his fears, but to also reassure him that I wouldn't leave.

"Thank you." He sniffled loudly. "You must think I'm pathetic huh?" He gave me a watery smile and it seemed as though his tears finally ended.

"No, you're not pathetic. You're careful, there's a difference. I know that you've had a tough past but if there's one thing that I want you to feel, above all else, is how much I love you."

Duo's breath hitched then I brought my lips down upon his and gave him the deepest, passionate kiss I could. I didn't break it until my lungs were screaming at me for the lack of oxygen they were in dire need of. I pulled back and saw the dazed expression on Duo's face and could feel my mouth quirk into a smile. Duo finally collected himself and looked at me.

"Does that prove my point?" I asked with the smile still on me face.

"I don't know Hee-chan. You might have to kiss me like that more often or I might forget how much you warm me inside. I think I need to be sure that you like me."

"Oh I think another kiss can be arranged. For I love you and will show you how you make me feel and how good love can feel when it's for the right reasons." Then I swooped in and claimed Duo's mouth repeatedly until he went limp in my hands and I lay him back upon the bed.

"Sleep my love, you're still tired I can tell. Do you mind if I use your shower while you sleep?" Duo shook his head as his heavy eyelids began to close and I slipped out of the bed. Then covered him with the sheet and tucked him in and proceeded to find and take a shower.

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I emerged twenty minutes later from the shower that was across the hall from Duo's bedroom. Seeing as though I had no clean clothes I just slipped my boxers back on then went and gathered my strewn about clothes in the parlor and put them back on. I saw no need to tuck in my pants or button my shirt since I wasn't leaving any time soon, and the only one who would see me would be Duo.

Walking through Duo's apartment I found the kitchen and looked in Duo's refrigerator and saw butter, milk, eggs, and orange juice, then on the counter sat half a loaf of bread. Now, did he have cinnamon? I quickly opened a few cupboard doors and found the spices and located the cinnamon. Perfect. Now, all I have to do is wait for Duo to wake up and I'll make him French toast, or better yet why not start now?

I started to get to work immediately taking out the ingredients and took out a frying pan I found in a drawer underneath the stove then took out a large bowl and mixed the ingredients together, and began tossing in slices of bread into the bowl then into the frying pan. It didn't take too long at all and soon a pleasant smell filled the kitchen.

"Whatcha making Hee-chan?" A sleepy looking Duo appeared outside the kitchen door and looked in at what I was doing.

"Making you and me some breakfast, you don't mind do you?" Duo shook his head and smiled at the pleasant aroma that wafted through the air. Then a frown crossed his features, but he said nothing. I turned back to the pan then got out a plate from the cupboard and put two pieces of French toast on the plate then cut them diagonally and got out two glasses and poured some orange juice then brought out the maple syrup and placed them in front of Duo. I turned back to the stove and placed two pieces for me in the pan as well and let them cook.

"Come and sit Duo. Eat your food I made for you and enjoy." Duo walked over to a chair at the table then sat and stared at the food. I watched as he examined the plate set before him and had to suppress a laugh when he peaked underneath the toast as if to see if it was burnt or something.

I turned back to the pan and seeing that my toast was golden brown, I shut off the stove and put my food on a plate as well and cut them the same way I had Duo's. I sat down next to Duo who still didn't taste his meal and handed him the maple syrup. He took it from me, poured some over his toast then handed it to me and I did the same.

I cut a small piece off and tasted what I had cooked and was pleased by the sweet taste. Duo watched me as I chewed but said nothing. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and he had to eat before his food got cold, so I decided to break the silence once again.

"Do you not like French toast Duo?" He shook his head. "Then what's wrong?"

"Why did you do this?" He asked quietly. So, he thought there was a catch to it?

"I did it to be nice and I figured you would probably want to eat something when you got up. Now eat it before it gets cold." Duo then picked up his fork and started to eat his food, remarking an occasional mumble of praises at it. I continued to eat my own and soon we were both done. I took the plates over to the sink and washed them clean as well as the frying pan and bowl when that was done, I faced Duo once more.

He just looked at me with appreciative eyes and I walked back over to him and hugged him close to me. He rested his head upon my shoulder once more and tightened his hold on me. We stood there for a few minutes before moving apart and Duo was the first one to speak.

"Thank you for everything Hee-chan, I-I'm not used to being treated like this. Quatre did things like this for me when I was…well you know about that. But, I never had anyone cook and stay with me because they wanted to. Anyone who has ever been here stayed because they wanted my body or because I would probably get sick if they left me alone. I-I don't know how to repay you." He looked up at me and tears brimmed his eyes once more.

"You don't have to repay me Duo, just being with you is enough to make me happy." I told him gently.

"You probably want to leave though now right? I mean you don't even have any clean clothes to change into." He looked down at the floor and shrugged. "You can go home now Heero, I'm okay really."

"Come with me." The words escaped my lips. Duo's head shot up and stared at me.

"What did you say?"

"Come home with me to my apartment and hang out with me. Unless you have something better to do before you head to the club tonight. Is it open tonight?"

Duo stared at me for a few seconds before nodding his head.

"So are you coming with me?" After a few hesitant moments Duo nodded again. I smiled at him even though he looked a little lost. "Go take a shower and put on some clean clothes. I'll wait for you on the couch."

Duo then walked out the kitchen door in a hurry and I walked out behind him after checking to see that I turned everything off. I had, and went to sit on Duo's black couch. Duo had a nice apartment. It was kind of small but had a nice cozy feel to it.

He had a small TV in front of a lounge chair and a small side table, but that was all he had in the parlor besides the couch I had sat down on. Even in his bedroom, he had clothes all about coating the floor and it was a bit messy but furniture wise he only had a dresser that had a mirror attached to it and the bedside table with the lamp on it besides the bed. I figured that Duo made due with what he had and it made him happy enough but still…it seemed as if he only had what he needed so he could move as quickly as possible if necessary. That thought disturbed me.

A few moments later I heard the shower turn on and waited ten minutes before I saw a still damp Duo emerge from the bathroom from where I sat. The sight he presented me with was very intriguing.

He had his hair down and it reached the middle of his thighs. His hair was still wet and soaked the black t-shirt and blue jeans he now wore. He looked even lovelier with his hair down and my fingers ached to feel those soft strands of silk once again.

Duo gave me a sheepish smile at me and then came over to the other end of the couch, pulling his hair over his shoulder then sat down. I could see a brush in his hands and an elastic band wrapped around the handle. He looked up at me and gave me an apologetic smile.

"Sorry for making you wait so long but my hair needed to be washed and I have to brush it before I get knots in it." I looked at him then at his hair and an idea came to mind.

"Can I brush it for you? It'll give me something to do and maybe it won't take as long." Duo just looked at me then down at the brush and slowly handed it to me.

"Just bush it slowly so I don't get split ends, please Hee-chan."

"I wouldn't dream of it." I took the brush from him and he turned his back to me. Gently I pulled his hair from over his shoulder and placed the hair in my lap. I started at the ends, making sure I got out all the tiny tangles that seemed to form there. Then moved up and gentle stroked the bristles through Duo's long mane.

Soft moans escaped Duo's lips as I slowly brushed the top of his head and ran through the long tresses to the very tips. I repeated the action and each time the moans emanated from Duo's throat. Putting the brush down I began to comb my finger through the silken locks and played with them a bit enjoying the feel of the hair slipping through my fingers.

"Do you know how to braid it Hee-chan?" Now there was a question, but I thought I could figure it out easy enough.

"Not really, but I have a good idea how to do it. Tell me any way though would you?"

"Divide it into three equal sections." I gentle sectioned his hair until the parts seemed equal. "No take the right one and weave it over the middle one, then the left part over the right one and keep going like that."

I did as he instructed and soon a long braided rope was clutched in my hand. I held the end of the braid in on hand then got the brush in the other and removed the elastic band from the handle. Securing Duo's braid with it then I placed the braid over his shoulder. He felt the braid with his fingers lightly and then turned to me.

"Nice job Hee-chan." He turned to me and smiled.

"So are you ready to go?"

"Just let me get my wallet and keys and we can go." I nodded and he got off the couch and picked up his clothes that were strewn on the floor still. He got his wallet and keys out of his black pants then placed his wallet in his jeans and let the keys dangle in his fingers. I got up and went over to him. Taking hold of his hand I opened the door and led him out. He turned and locked the door and we made our way back to my car.

We both got in and drove to my apartment. Duo was silent the whole way there until I stopped in front of an old Victorian styled building and parked my car in the back parking lot, into my space.

Duo stared up at it with wide eyes. His jaw dropped open and just gaped up at the building. There was my apartment, a white and blue trimmed Victorian styled building. I chose to live here because of its location, which was close to my job and the beautiful style of the building. With high ceilings, long windows and wide rooms my apartment was ideal. The rent was only seven hundred a month and that was pretty cheap considering I had a living, a full bathroom with both a shower and a claw foot tub, a huge bedroom with a walk-in closet, and a big kitchen. There was also another room, which could have been a bedroom, but I turned it into my study. All in all, I was very pleased with my apartment.

"You live here?" Duo asked me in disbelief, turning to stare at me with wide eyes.

"Yeah I live here. You want to go inside." Duo nodded slowly and then got out of the car. I locked it and went to the door and took out my keys. I had three keys that were to access my apartment. The landlord was very protective of his building. The first key was for the main door, which I opened for Duo and then entered myself. We walked up a flight of stairs then came to the first landing, and walked down the wide hallway to the next door, I had to open this one as well with my second key.

We walked down another hallway and at the end of it was my apartment 01. I opened the door and Duo stepped inside as I pushed the door open. His eyes grew wide at my stereo system and TV. He took in the rest, the wide parlor the hallway that opened up to my bathroom, bedroom and study. Looked at the kitchen, that had a small bar and at the ceiling where hooks were that I placed my cooking pans at. The steel glinted off the sunlight that shone in through the window.

Duo turned back to me, still shocked with his mouth hanging open. Gently I pressed his jaw closed and smiled at him.

"Are you sure you live here? I mean you live here alone?" This place is huge. You must have really pulled some strings in order to get a place as fantastic as this." He commented. I could only appreciate his kind words and had to tell him it wasn't all that hard to find this place.

"Yes I'm sure. That's why I have the key to this apartment. I got it from one of my work friends a few years ago when he was leaving the company to go to another job sight. He offered it to me and I could resist taking it off his hands. I love the old style of it."

I walked inside and slipped my shoes off, Duo did the same after seeing me. He looked as if he were afraid to touch anything. I led him over to my dark blue couch and sat him down then handed him the TV remote.

"Watch some TV for a while, I'll be right back." He nodded and I left him as he started flipping through the channels. I went to my bedroom and closed the door but didn't lock it. Duo was the only one here any way.

I soon stripped off all my clothes and went over to my closet and began going through all my clothes. I was a habit of mine to get all my clothes set out before putting any on. As I looked for my worn jeans I heard the door open and turned around.

"Hey Heero, not to bother you but- oh!" There was Duo in the doorway staring at me with wide eyes, his mouth moving but no words were coming out. I was shocked in my place as well. It didn't occur to me to lock the door, since I figured that he would just wait for me in the parlor. I was wrong.

Duo's gaze was staring at my groin and then he quickly shifted his gaze up to my face and flushed a bright pink. I looked down at myself then back at him. He finally shook head and turned around, a whirlwind of sound running from his mouth.

"Heero I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to walk in on you. I thought you would be done since the door was opened. I didn't mean to walk in on you, please forgive me. You can see me naked if you want so we'll be even. How's that? Here I'll strip for you."

To my horror, Duo began to take off his clothes. I quickly walked over to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. He pulled away from me and entered my bedroom. I turned to see him continue to shed his clothes, until he was as naked as I was. I wanted to tell him to stop, he didn't have to do this, but I couldn't form a sound. My gaze raked over his bare body and to my delight and embarrassment I found I liked what I saw. His thin strong looking pale body, with well toned muscles underneath his perfect skin. His chest was hairless and the only patch of hair formed a thin line from the base of his navel and traveled to a chestnut nest of curls that formed at the joining of his legs. I let my eyes take in the rest of him and was aroused by how beautiful this man was. I found myself aroused and felt as my own member twitched into semi-hardness.

I shifted my gaze back to Duo who just kept staring at me. I knew I had to say something, but what could I say? I heard Duo gasp; his eyes stared at my hardening flesh and then saw as he turned to the bed and kneeled on it. His legs spread apart and then he leaned forward on his arms as if waiting for me.

My mind clicked in at that moment as I saw Duo in that position. I quickly went over to my drawer and put on a pair of boxers. I went to my closet and continued my searched for my pants. I found some sweatpants and pulled them on as well, ignoring my hard on and went over and pulled Duo up and wrapped him in my arms. He went limp as I sat flipped him over. He looked at me still shocked at what I was doing.

I went over and picked up his boxers and placed them on his legs and pulled them up. I was dressing Duo so he wouldn't feel exposed and so he would stop thinking that I was going to take him. He stared at me in confusion when a placed his pants on him, but didn't say anything until I was finished and buttoned his pants.

"Why?" One word, one question and I had only a truthful explanation to give him.

"Because I love you Duo, but you aren't ready for this and I won't take you. I didn't expect you to come in here and see me. I didn't expect that you would strip off your clothes then lie on my bed on your hands and knees and wait for me to take you, when I told you I wouldn't. I mean it Duo. I won't take you, not yet."

His gaze shifted downward as if he was ashamed of himself and I could tell that he was.

"You don't have to do anything to make me stay Duo. You have to trust me that I won't leave you. Why can't you accept that?"

"Say you don't want to take me, but your body seems willing enough. You had a hard-on. I saw it. So why won't you just do it?"

"I won't lie to you Duo. I do want you like that, but not now." Duo gave me a look that said, `Yeah right.' I took a breath and calmed myself down. I had to explain this to him. "Duo like I said before, I do want you, but you aren't ready. You think I can just take you like your ex did and then come back for more and leave you broken. I'm not like that Duo. I find you attractive, sexy, but most of all I find that I'm falling in love with you. I can't and won't take you until you feel the same way.

"You said you feel drawn to me somehow. Do you love me Duo? Could you love me if I took you the way that man did six months ago? I doubt it. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I did that to you. So stop trying to get me to do it, because I won't."

I cuddled him to my chest but he didn't react, as my words seemed to sink in. I could only hope they would and he'd be okay.

"Now let me take you to the living room so we can watch a movie. We can leave this conversation for later."

I picked him up and cradled him in my arms and took him out to the couch. I put in one of my movies then pulled him to sit in my lap. His head snuggled against my chest and his legs resting on top of mine. He didn't say a word, only blankly stared at the screen.

Hopefully when the movie was over he would tell me why he did what he did. Although the answer was something that had me worried.

TBC…

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