Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ugly ❯ Weird humor ( Chapter 9 )

Bombayoni: herehereherehereherehere. Lol!

AN: I just could't remember the original name of this chapter.

- - -

 

As they were descending the stairs, Duo and Wufei kept throwing worried glances at each other.

This silence was unnerving at the very least. There should have been yelling by now. Possibly sounds of fighting. What if...

The boys looked at eachother again. Heero was padding down the stairs after them, trying to peer over their heads, pushing his dark bangs of his eyes and beginning to look anxious, though he did not have the slightest idea of what was going on.

 

A slice of livingroom showed as they reached the bottom of the stairs, revealing the same cheerless brownish-gray that was ever present and still, molding the livingrooms atmosphere into something forgotten and old, un-appealing... And very still.

Not a movement could be detected from the quiet room. There was no sign of life, only the sound of raindrops, as they snapped against the window glass.

 

Duo just could't drag his feet forward anymore. In his mind he saw puddles of blood on the floor, beginning to soak into the carpet, while a lifeless ivory body lay motionless before the couch, a few golden tresses painted red by the un-holy halo around it's head...

 

Duo's eyes had widened into impossibly big violet-blue pools, and he was chewing his soft lower lip.

 

”What's the matter?” whispered Heero. He was afraid to talk loud. For some reason, whispering seemed to fit to the occasion, even, if he had absolutely no clue of what was going on.

 

”You go.” said Duo, and his infected skin was afire from worry. He reached an unconscious hand to smooth over one blazing cheek. His voice sounded hoarse.

Wufei pressed his lips together in a determined manner, and sucked in his breath. His dark, gracefull eyebrows were knitted together showing extreme concentration.

 

Heero was beginning to look like someone standing in a fifty meter waiting line for a half an hour just to suddenly hear, that this counter is closing now.

 

” What's happening?!” he hissed. Duo gave Wufei's arm a squeese and Wufei nodded. Duo could almost see him cheking some none-existant weapons. Then he tip-toed into the livingroom.

 

”Duo?” asked Heero, almost at the end of his patience. Then he saw, how pale Duo had gone, and put his hand on Duo's shoulder. ”Duo?” he repeated.

 

Suddenly Duo felt much better... He kinda forgot about everything... There was a warm hand on his shoulder, fingers spread over it...And then it slid down his arm, settling in the bend of his arm, pulling him closer, untill his body was flush against Heero's... ”Duo? Duo?” Who was Duo? He didn't know. But were those spring flowers, that he was smelling? He was happy. ”Duo Wufei is-” and then they heard a yell.

 

Once again, poor Duo was startled into action, and lost all of the warmth he had been basking in. He rushed forward, Heero hot on his heels, without knowing what gruesome sight was waiting for him, but his knocking knees managed to get him trough the door, and into the livingroom, where he, at first, saw Wufei standing, looking paralyzed. Then he looked up, and made a sound. Was it a snort or a gasp? He could't even say, himself.

 

Quatre was folding a newspaper, that he had been reading, as he stood up from the sofa, where he had been sitting.

 

The tiniest little jeanshorts possible were riding low on his narrow hips, showing creamy golden skin of his flat belly and sharp hip-bones, exposing his very shapely thigs, that were covered in golden down. On his torso he had an ice-pink t-shirt, that didn't reach quite to the shorts, but only just under his ribs, leaving the bellybutton showing.

The shirt kept sliding down his peachy right shoulder, and the star hanging from his right earlobe was glittering in the dim light, trying to challenge his golden locks, that were curling around his sea-shell ears, and falling over the shining, sea-coloured eyes.

The kissable rose-bud mouth was smiling and there were small shadows of dimples on both lovely cheeks.

 

On the shirt, there was a text. It was written in turquoise, sleek but plump eighties style and it had a bit faded silver 'shadow' underneath it.

 

The text said: ' Babe ' .

 

Duo wasn't aware, that he had shifted positions, but apparently he had, because he was standing closer to the wall, leaning against it with his shoulders, and the fingertips of his left hand were pressed against his lips while he was making some odd, odd, noises.

 

He could't tear his eyes away from Quatre.

 

He had two options that were battling eachother in his whirling head.

 

Either he could just collapse on the floor howling with laughter, or then he could grab Quatre, throw him right back on that sofa he was getting up from, and do him hard, then and there while his friends would be gawking at the scene.

 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Wufei desperately tugging at the sweat-shirt that was on him, trying to make the hem stretch just a bit lower, past his pelvic area, obviously in a desperate attempt to hide something , while the fingers of his other hand were rubbing at his brow, and his eyes were darting wildly around the room, trying in vain to focus on something other than Quatre.

 

Heero was snickering near the stairs and managed finally to say: ”This is what you people were so afraid of? Quatre in... Drag, obviously..? Not that that wasn't a frightening scene, because it is, but...”

 

Quatre was snickering also, so obviously in on the joke, that he had probably planned the whole thing just to get some laughs.

 

”Quatre, what the HELL are you wearing?!” Heero was having a hard time talking, he was laughing so much.

”Oh?”said Quatre ”This?” and he looked down at his state of undress innocently, and then he almost yawned.

”Well, since I was all wet and cold, and you guys would't come back down , I decided to just help myself. I went to your sisters room -sorry Duo- and took the first, old looking things I could find... There was a rather nice looking sequin-dress hanging from the rack in her closet, but since I was only looking for something to warm to wear, and wanted to make sure I didn't ruin any of her favorite fashion-desingnes...”

 

At the words 'sequin-dress' and 'warm' Duo flinced and then just stared. Warm? Suuure. That outfit sure kept Q warm... Well, at least if someone pounced on him because of it, it would. And second: Duo was absolutely, horrifically certain, that Quatre had given some thought to the dress...

 

Heero seemed un-affected in any other way besides the laughter. Duo shook his head a little, pushing himself of the wall, and trying to straighten his braid, which had caught his collar. Reaching a hand to his neck to dig out some hairs that were tugging rather unpleasently at his skin he realized, that he was still in his wet clothes.

Shooting a glance at Wufei to see how he was faring, he turned to Quatre to ask: ”But what about Trowa? Wasn't he here when you...Uhm... Got changed?”

 

Quatre streched a little and rolled his shoulders a couple of times. ”Yeah, he was here ... But when I came out, he suddenly shot up and ran to the bathroom. He was mumbling something about warming his hands under some water or something... He was holding both of them over his mouth, though... Gues he was trying to blow some warm air to them. And he's supposed to be the Big and Tall and Tough! Pfft! ” and Quatre huffed again, plopping back down on the sofa in the most boyish-masculine way, the role of the 'seductress' all forgotten, looking cute, animated and completely out of place in the girlie clothes he was currently wearing.

Then he clasped his hands, resting his arms on his things and leaning forward with the most earnest expression on his face, both dark golden brows lifted up to emphasize his wondering mood, while his eyes darkened a little. ” Why is Trowa so weird, anyway? Does he really have to hate me? I don't get it! I don't even know him, and just because I have money, he decides, that it's okay to be rude to me...When I've never done anything to him!”

Duo scarched his head. Quatre had a point, but it was hard to focus on it, when the cleavage of the pink shirt was hanging really low, exposing his torso completely, and it was a most well-developed and golden torso, indeed...

 

'I need to get my head together.' Duo decided and shook himself a little. Aloud he said: ”Well, I don't know, but we had better get Tro out of the bathroom soon, if we want to get to know to him enough, to know why's being a prick to you... I'll just go get him.”

”And I'm coming with you.” This was from Wufei, who had started to move already. Duo followed him , leaving Heero and Quatre alone in the livingroom.

 

- - -

The two boys reached the bathroom door and started pounding on it.

A short moment later a very calm looking Trowa opened it, arching an eyebrow at them questioningly.

”You've been here forever... ” Duo started. Trowa kept his gaze steady. ”Well, at least Quatre says that you...” and Duo quieted down. Wufei was standing just behing him, quiet also.

Trowa was a bit older than they were, and so, they held a certain amount of respect towards him. Right now, Trowa was looking at them, like they had completely lost their minds, coming bursting in on him, while he was in the bathroom.

 

Duo started to sweat a little. He tugged at his still wet collar. ”Well, we... That is, Quatre...” he tried, gradually quieting down, and he looked at his shoes. The silence from Trowa was making him grow, while Duo himself slowly shrunk.

”Quatre told you so..?” Trowa didn't even have to put a lot emphasis on his words. The subtle movement of an eyebrow, the sudden narrowing of his eyes was all it took. Duo felt like a complete fool. ”Perhaps he exaggerated... By accident, or something...” Wufei had taken his hairband of, and was busy running his fingers trough his hair, collecting it for a new and even more perfect ponytail.

 

Trowa looked at them. Duo felt like he was nothing more, than a tiny little insect buzzing before him anxiously, before swept away by the first tender gust of wind.

”We'll be leaving you alone, then...”

 

”No.” said Trowa then, opening the door suddenly wide, and sighing in the most adult-like manner. ”I'm done now, so we can all go back.”

Wufei remained silent, and Duo followed Trowa back to the livingroom.

 

But as they entered, Duo gained some of his hight back, when he noticed, how carefully Trowa's eyes were avoiding Quatre. He hadn't really thought, that Quatre would have lied to him about Trowa's Grand Exit, and now he felt slightly victorious, though he was awfully baffled at the same time.

 

If all of this was really real, then... He was in a mess, but not alone. Wufei and Trowa were there with him.

But it could of course be, that they didn't like this part of themselves, and perhaps it wasn't even such a big part after all...

When you thought about it, REALLY tought about it , what chanches did Duo have, that not one, but TWO of his new friends were noticing memebers of their own sex also, like Duo did, and would be willing to share the grief? No, it was more likely, that Duo himself had missunderstood something at some point. After all, it could just as easily be, that Trowa, mr Tall and Masculine was just embarrassed on Quatre's behalf...

Personally Duo thought Quatre's stupid practical jokes hilarious, especially, since he did seem to have a more serious streak in him also, but to someone who hadn't payed such close attention, Duo had to admit, that Quatres antics might seem rather over-board and ditzy.

 

And Wufei... Well, he definitely liked the ladies, judging by his wondering eye, but why was he so adamant about wearing Zechs' shirt, then? Perhaps he just admired Zechs...

Allthough the thought of anybody thinking Zechs as their idol made Duo want to howl with laughter, he had to admit, that to someone who didn't know Zechs as well as he did, he might indeed seem like the responsible but independent role-model material.

 

Of course, those had to be people, who'd never seen Zechs crawl around their room on his hands and knees, trying to do da salsa to Metallica while searching for his lost favorite pen from the floor... But, Wufei had probably known Zechs even longer than Duo... So perhaps it really was a slight crush...

But could Duo somehow mention it..? They both knew about eachother, now, if everything was as it seemed to be, but that still didn't make it okay to just drag the topic up. There are some things you just can't do, not just like that.

 

Sighing, Duo looked up. Trowa punched him lightly on the shoulder. ”Would it be a good idea to change clothes, perhaps? Or did you plan on getting a cold on top of everything else, too?” and he was smiling.

 

Quatre and Heero were sitting side by side now, on the sofa, Heero was snickering, getting into a new laughing fit everytime he thought he was past the previous one, while Quatre was smiling and swinging his legs in a girly way, knees tight together, head bent and eyelashes fluttering.

 

Wufei was stretching and mumbling something about tea, and Trowa was just loking at him.

He felt the bandage around his head cautiously. ”If I stay away from the spray, a shower might be okay... Hey, that rhymed! But anyways...” Duo didn't feel like getting a cold on top of everything else, so he really felt like taking a hot shower before changing into dry clothes.

 

Quatre looked up. ”I could tighten that bandage up for you a little, if you like, when you come back.” and he smiled a sweet, light-filled smile. ”After all, Iria and I are pretty close, and she's been teaching me stuff, so I could probably do it.”

 

Duo perked up. This way, maybe he could avoid some extra trips outside. He really didn't feel like going there, even if it was to have his bandages cheked. Though he still knew, that he'd have to go to that over-all check-up appointment anyway.

 

”Yeah, Quat, that'd be great. Thanks. ” he beamed.

 

”Aww” said Heero with his smooth voice. ”Sister Quatre will help that poor soldier to get better..” Quatre immediately giggled, returning to his role and swung his legs now with vigor saying in a high, a bit breatheless voice: ” I cannot help it! It is my calling to TAKE CARE of all of these HANDSOME, RUGGED boys...” He was really flapping his lashes, and his whole body swung with the motions of his legs. Heero was leaning forward, over him, and panting in mock-desperation: ”OOOOH, I am so SORE down there! Please, sister Q, TAKE care of my ACHE for me-” and the he flung himself forward, while Quatre was making these high-pitched, feminine squeals and and letting himself be thrown down on his back. ”It is my duty to care for your NEEEDS, boys, sister Quatre is ALWAYS at your DISPOSAL... ” his voice was even higher than before, and Heero crashed down on him, straight between his legs, and started to make these really over exaggerated thrusting motions, moaning ”Yes, just like that, sister, only faster, yes, yes..” while Quatre was flailing his arms above his head trashing the said bodypart wildly around, squeling like a pig, swinging both his legs in the air, occasionally managing to kick Heero on the but, and then their screaming voices merged together, and they were yelling together ”YES!YES!YES!” ,to the rhytm of the 'thrusts' only to stop abruptly to laugh... And to face the sudden death-silence that was reigning the room.

 

”Umm.. Guys..?” Trowa's green eyes were huge underneath his punk-bangs.

 

Wufei looked like a Chinese statue, and Duo just turned around to leave the room. ”I'm going to that cold shower, now.” he managed, and heard Trowa mumbling something to his right.

After two steps, Trowa was still with him. ”Umm, Tro? Where are you going?” Trowa looked at him someone just waking up from a deep sleep. ”Umm... I don't know?”

Duo sighed. ”Just go back to Wufei. Helping him make the tea might calm your...Nerves. ”

- - -

 

After that Duo sprung to his room to fetch some fresh clothes for himself, and sneak to the bathroom.

He really tried to be carefull with the bandage, and mostly succeeded, but that must have been due to luck rather than anything else, because the image of Heero's body making those motions, while his brows were knitted together and he was faking moans just would't leave Duo's head, exiting but totally laughable at the same time...

 

Finally he had to grab himself, and the whole time he was jerking himself off he was giggling maddly, trying to suppress the noises with his right hand, while tears of laughter and extasy were rolling on his cheeks, and his body was shaking.

 

After he had come, he still stood underneath the shower for about three mnutes.

Then he turned the water off and climbed off from the faded white tub, and grabbed his striped towel from a white hook, that was attached to the lemon-yellow tile-wall with a rusted nail.

When he was just busy drying himself off, a timid knock from the door broke him of from his task. ”Yeah?” he asked, and opened the door a little. Outside there was a very red-faced Wufei who was looking most exasperated indeed. ”Rest of your clothes, Maxwell... You left a trail behind you as you went... ”

”Oh.” That was really all, that Duo could say. ”And you've been standing there..?”

”For quite some time, now, Duo...”

Duo Hmm'd as he reached to take his clothes from Wufei's hands, his head frantically fighting embarrassement.So, Wufei had heard him...Taking care of business. How to take it with stride..?

”I like jacking off.” he finally stated with a shrug, making Wufei cover his face with both of his hands.

”Don't we all, Maxwell, don't we all... Just don't make me learn anymore about you today... Save some for tomorrow, too...”

Duo might have thought Wufei was crying, if he hadn't known any better, like he did.

And he just wanted to get of this embarrassing topic, but he was rapidly panicking, and faring worse and worse.

”Yeah, well, do you think, that girls do that, too, Wufei? 'Cause if so, then I would like to know, if they, like, picture something romantic, or something real, like, say, some dude from their school.. Like, say, Heero, or someone..?”

 

”I don't know Maxwell. I am not a girl. I would suppose so. I would suppose, that they do. It would be so silly if they didn't, when we do... But, Maxwell..”

Duo pulled a shirt on.

”Yeah, you know, how they're all so timid and everything, but I know that my sister does, because she talks about this kinda stuff really freely with her girlfriends, and apparntly they all do and-”

 

”Yes, Maxwell, you have proven to be wiser then me, which is why I don't see the point in asking me in the first place, but...”

 

Duo shoved the door completely open. ”Yeah, but what I wanna know is, if they'd be thinking about real guys, like Heero, and-”

 

”Maxwell. Please put some underwear on.”

- - -

Poor Wufei was not so much shocked as he was baffled.

After all, he had only been standing there, minding his own business, still blushing at the crude joke Heero and Quatre had made, listening to the loud humm of the shower running, when his friend had suddenly popped out without a stich, and started babling about intimate and private things, just like that, out of the blue...

 

This was a strange house, indeed, but it's occupants had hearts of gold in their chests, and for that, Wufei was willing to let a lot of really weird stuff go.

 

Tbc.