Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Undercover Mission- The Gundam Pilots work at KFC ❯ Undercover Mission- The Gundam Pilots work at KFC ( Prologue )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Saa… I think I'm going to severely hurt Citrus-chan now… She has changed her name for the third time ALREADY



I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Anybody miss me? ::frown:: Wait, don't answer that. Sorry mina-san for the long delay. I'll try to get another shopping fic done in this month… >< I'll try… If anybody is interested, here are my reasons of not writing anything in these… ah… few months ^^;; :



Since it's nearing the end of the school year, our teachers decided to cram everything into this small space of time. Projects, tests, etc.
Neopets.
Neopets.
Neopets.
Neopets.
Need I repeat myself? God that thing is addicting! (If anybody wan't to know, my username on neopets is Kirui! ^_^)


And now, here's another useless fic!

Undercover Mission- The Gundam Pilots work at KFC
By Kaen-chan ^.~V

"Nani? Iie! Mission Denied!" Heero snarled at the senseless computer screen.
Duo popped his head in through the doorway. "Nani?" he echoed unconsciously.
"New mission," Heero growled and literally threw his laptop at the braided pilot.
Duo caught it deftly and scanned the screen. "Hmm… Eeto… <mumble> yeah <mumble> uh huh… <mumble>… WHAT IN THE NINE H*LLS!!!???!!! NEVER!!!! NO!!!! I REFUSE!!!"
Heero glared at the screaming pilot of 02. "Urusai baka. Kami -- I'm going to kill Dr. J," he muttered, looking over and loading his multi-array of firearms.
Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei both came running.
"Why is that braided baka still screaming like a weakling onna?" Wufei asked belligerently when the sound of Duo's panicked screams came blasting anew through his eardrums, using his brain as a highway transportation device.
>-< "…itai…" Wufei muttered.
Duo looked at him sheepishly. "Eh heh… Gomen ne."
"Hmph," Wufei turned away and ignored him. {::Indignant look:: Hey! I'm trying my best to not bash him alright! Keep your unpleasant comments to yourselves! ::Sulk:: ><;; You just can't please them all…}
Quatre looked worriedly at Heero who was recharging the battery to his bazooka. "Saa, Heero-kun?"
Heero looked up irritably at him. "What?"
Quatre picked up the still plugged in laptop. "What's so bad about working at… KFC?!?!?!?!!!!!" He gaped in apparent shock.
"My point exactly," Heero said taking out some remote control and hefting his beam cannon in one hand.
Quatre slowly buried his head into his hands. "I'm too young to work in that hovel! I'm rich! I don't have to breath in blubber laden fumes!"
Heero frowned and pushed a button, walking into the suddenly opened closet.
Slowly, curiosity overcame Duo and the rest of the Gundam pilots so they followed him.
"Oi, is this what you did to the extra compartment in your closet Heero?" Duo asked wryly.
"Hn." He took his remote control and pushed another button. Immediately the lights came on, revealing a homicidal zero-system pilot-assassin's dream arsenal. Row upon row of weapons hung on the wall, blades and firearms alike. He pressed another button and a large screen popped out.
Heero repeatedly pressed a green button. "Relena… Zechs… Lady Une… Duo… Dr. J!" he smirked triumphantly as the revolving screen finally settled on the insane scientist's face. He glared at the picture, blasting a hole into the image with the beam cannon.
It took some minutes for the rest of the pilots to finally react, Trowa being the first one to wrestle the weapon out of the struggling pilot's vengeful hands.
"It's your mission," Trowa murmured in his calm voice.
Heero slumped. "How demeaning… Dress as an OZ soldier, okay. Self-detonate, sure… Kill Relena or Duo -- I'm 'happy' to oblige," he muttered, ignoring Duo's audible protests. "But to work at a fast food restaurant is… is… pure stupidity!"
Duo whistled. "That's the most you've ever complained about and said Heero... for the day. It seems that you're getting this speech thing under control!" He turned to Quatre who tried suppress a grin and look desolate again. "Now all we have to do is get rid of that rod shoved up Wufei's ass and get Trowa to perfect his speaking methods."
The suicidal Japanese pilot glared balefully at the talkative American. "…You don't value your health, do you?"
Duo sweatdropped. "Eh… actually, I do…"
"Then shut up," Heero intoned sharply then quickly recited the mission information. "Undercover mission at…" he shuddered, "Kentucky Fried Chicken™. We have to infiltrate it because the Preventers Headquarters got a tip from Dr. J that it's the new base for the enemy." {I don't have a name for the 'enemy'. :b Use your imagination!}
Trowa looked speculatively at the mission information. "When?"
"Today… That old geezer has already sent them our applications." He snorted. "Applications my ass."
Duo and Quatre promptly sweatdropped.

"Stupid Americans," Heero muttered. "Always so eager to turn onto the road of obesity."
The Perfect Soldier glared across the counter from behind the cashier, and at a little kid around the age of nine who was staring fearfully up at him. Of course, who wouldn't be freaked out with a full Death Glare™ aimed at you? "May. I. Take. Your. Order?" He gritted through clenched teeth.
The boy's lower lip trembled and his eyes suddenly filled.
Heero sighed inwardly one reason why he avoided children under the age of 12. "Hurry up kid! You're wasting precious time," he snapped.
Give or take a few seconds and the inevitable happened… No, the child did not start bawling… but urinated in his pants. Then, did he start flooding his eyes out. {::cackle:: Aren't I mean?}
Heero stifled a groan and turned on his head set. "Clean up in front aisle," he muttered wearily.
Duo's voice sounded slightly annoyed. "Again Heero? How many kids to you have to scare the crap out of?"
Heero grimaced. "Shut up and get over here to clean this mess up. The dogs in the next door pet shop are getting too interested again." He cast a wary glance at the windows and the unnerving sight of fifty or so wagging tales.
"Hai, hai," Duo sighed. "Just don't serve any more people until I get over there. 'Kay?"
Heero smirked slightly. "Ryoukai."
Trowa looked over to him from one of the other cashier stations. "When can we get started?" his deadpan voice and gaze did not betray any disgust that he was secretly feeling.
Heero frowned. "When our shifts are over," he murmured.
Trowa nodded. "Good."
Duo slowly trudged by, making a gesture for the mother of the traumatized boy to lift him away. "I don't think Quatre can take anymore of the cooking," he sighed. "He's crying over the chicken now."
Heero raised an eyebrow. "This has nothing to do with animal rights?"
Duo chuckled wearily. "No. More like the problems of clogged arteries and stuff like that."
Suddenly Wufei stomped in, hurling his KFC hat down in the process. "That's it!" he raged, "I'm not serving one more of those weaklings! It's always: 'I want!' or 'maybe' or 'I'll have'. Me, me, me, me, me!!! I'm not taking anymore of this crap!"
Heero clenched his hands and let out an explosive breath. "This will all be over soon…. Very soon," he gritted.

After two more hours of serving, glaring, aisle cleaning, and weeping over fried foods, the five Preventers were finally allowed their lunch breaks…
Duo sighed, chucking his hat into the far corner. "Hey, what's for lun-"
Immediately three guns and one katana were leveled at him. The God of Death gulped nervously.
Quatre glared through him through red bloodshot eyes, not unlike his psychopathic Zero gaze. "Don't say it Duo," he growled ominously. "I'm still processing through all the lard I inhaled earlier this morning."
Duo giggled nervously and turned to Trowa. "Are you hungry?" He asked hopefully.
Trowa shook his head.
Heero punched him in the stomach irritably. "Sit down!" he ordered.
Duo clutched his stomach. " I'm already down!" he muttered.
Wufei glared at him from his lotus position. "Just think about all the urine you mopped up this morning… then think of the chicken parts swimming around the tubs and vats of grease."
Duo stopped wincing and paled. "Ew." He grimaced as the unpleasant images sprang up right before his eyes.
Heero pulled his laptop from one of the lockers in the employee room. He typed away furiously until the screen flashed repetitively. "Mail," he murmured. The one word caused the rest of the pilots to scramble and crowd around him, peering intently at the flashing screen. "We go now," Quatre sighed with relief.
Heero's brows creased in consternation. "No reason for happiness yet. We have to infiltrate the storage room."
Quatre twitched. "This has to be a joke."
Trowa merely shrugged.

Now in their regular piloting clothing, the five boys crept through the stagnating storage room, careful to not bump against any of the large containers of mystery substance.
Quatre wrinkled his nose helplessly against the putrid smell of old chicken and overused oil. "What time is it?"
Duo replied almost automatically. "5:45 PM." His normal happy-go-lucky spirit seemed to be crushed under the fumes of burning fat and poultry.
"This is taking longer than necessary," Wufei complained in the dark.
All of the sudden, a siren started to blare. The five pilots froze instinctively, confusion written all over their faces.
Heero glared at the other four. "Alright, who was it?"
His accusation was met by four pleas of innocence. Suddenly, something exploded to their right, spraying them with a lubricant like substance. Quatre immediately started to cry softly.
Duo covered his braid protectively. "What is this stuff?" he demanded hoarsely.
Quatre whimpered. "Oil. Stale oil."
Heero spun around confusion marring his reflects. Something wasn't right. However, that thought was immediately cut off when a flash lighted out of nowhere, blinding him temporarily and causing him to slip in a puddle of grease… and fell into another tub of… grease. "Kuso," he tried to say, but his mouth was flooded with the nasty tasting liquid. Hauling himself out swiftly, he gestured to the other boys wildly to flee. Crashing into pails after pails of oil, they finally made it out of the dark room and out into the open and freedom.

They were a pitiful sight indeed. Matted hair, oil drenched clothing, soot smeared faces… Lady Une cracked up when they were presented to her in their present state.
"You mean ::cackle:: to say, ::gasp:: that ::chuckle:: you thought ::cough:: that I gave you ::choke:: a mission ::breathe:: to go to KFC???" Lady Une laughed.
The five pilots flushed and stared at the interesting floor.
Lady Une looked thoughtfully at the email sent by Dr. J. A mischievous smile spread on her face. "You were set up," she said finally.
Heero's head shot up, consternation written all over his normally deadpan features. "N-nani?" he demanded.
Lady Une smiled. "Yep… And I'm sure you know who."
Quatre narrowed his eyes. "You mean?"
Lady Une smirked slightly while knuckles where heard cracking ominously.
"Omae o korosu Dr. J."

The next day, the boys received another mail.
Heero glared at the screen. "Another mail from that baka."
Duo rushed over to his side. "That oil took forever to get out," he complained, patting his yard long braid unconsciously. "Don't delete it yet!"
Quatre appeared by their sides immediately. "What is it?"
Wordlessly, Heero turned the laptop so that the screen was facing the others. On it was an image… a photograph of them drenched in oil.
Silence reigned until… Click. Bleep!
Duo blinked. "What did you do?"
Heero shrugged nonchalantly. "Isn't it allergy season? I'm sure Dr. J will be very sick."
Trowa let a brief smile flit across his face. "Alright, what kind of virus was it?"

~ Owari ~

Kaen: YAY! I'm done!
Wufei: About time onnako.
Kaen: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeda :p
Dekiru: Da no da. ^-^
Kaen: ¬¬ What are you doing here?
Dekiru: Tofu.
Kaen: What? -_-
Dekiru: I do tofu.
Kaen. oO;; Eh?
Dekiru: Do you do tofu?
Kaen: What's wrong with you?
Dekiru: Tofu ::cackles hysterically:: *high pitched* Hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Kaen: Oh my… oO