Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Violet ❯ Chapter 1

Warnings: lemony

 

Notes: Quatre POV, 4x2, never done anything like this before (citrus or songfic-wise) so I hope it doesn't suck.

 

dum de dum = song lyrics

 

Disclaimer: I'm not owning of the Gundam Wing or the song Violet. This makes me kinda sad, so I introduce yaoi-ness to brighten my day

 

 

 

 

Violet

 

 

 

 

If there's a way that you could

be everything you want to be,

would you complain that it came

too easy?

 

 

I watch you chattering madly, making wild gestures with your hand, braid dancing behind you as you bounce along the winding grass lined path to the sea, not caring that the others are ignoring you, not out of spite, or even annoyance, but because there's only so much Duo they can take in one evening. I trail behind, shuffling my feet, kicking up little white dust clouds from the chalky track. I would never ignore you, I honestly don't know if I could any more.

 

You don't need that mask anymore Duo, I wish I could persuade you that it's safe to come out now, but you insist on making things hard for yourself, merely risking your life to fight in a thankless war is obviously not enough to atone for all those who you had no power to save. And you insist on making it look like it's so easy for you.

 

Just like the games with you and me

a resolution hard to see

but that's OK `cause I don't

see things that are plain to see

 

If I've gone to confront you once, I've done it a thousand times. And you know it, but you like to play don't you? To tease me and make me want you even more. That's not just a product of your façade, a face of your mask, it's part of the real you. The one I get glimpses of every now and then, when you want to give up, to let go, when you don't think anyone's watching. But I'm watching, how could I not, when the raw churning emotion that bowls over me every time I'm near you scares me half to death, but urges me on, begs me to find a way in, all at once?

 

I feel like I'm addicted to you, I'm touched with a voyeur's pleasure each time I catch the slightest glimpse, nothing rude, though you are unashamed of your body, I myself can be quite the prude at times. Comes from my proper upbringing I guess. No, just you, your naked personality sends shivers through me. I`d kneel in worship if you asked.

 

I've got a dream to take you over

exploding like a supernova

I'm gonna crash into your world

and that's no lie

 

I tell myself I want to help you, diverge you of your protection, tear open your cocoon and reveal the stronger you I know is inside, in a crash of colour and fanfare, but how long can I carry on that sweet deception? I want you for me. It's that simple. And someday soon now, I'll do what my instincts are insisting on, begging for right now, as you dance down the sea worn steps to the dampened sand, graceful and knowingly erotic.

 

You want to give ecstasy delivered

with certainty

but you're afraid that the pleasure

won't be needed

 

Oh you know; who you are, what you do to me, you must. But you don't approach, not even in jest. What are you so fearful of? There's no one else who can do this to me, make me so confused, but give me a singular focus, make me so hot, but freeze my heart in fear as you turn away. You feel the need, why don't you give in? Are you scared of me? Of wanting me? Am I still just an innocent, fragile flower to you? Please don't say yes; please don't turn away because you think you know me. Come and find the real me, come and show me the real you.

 

In a way, we're the same

two people looking out to sea

for a wave that would carry all our fantasies

 

You laugh, careless, rich and wonderful as you continue your cavorting along the white foamed tide. Trowa joins you; flipping and cart wheeling in a spray of sand with a skill and a fluidity that rivals you own flowing, feline movements. But I catch you as your eyes wander over the blue-green depths of the sun-sparkled ocean; I alone see your wistful look that matches my own. Just for a second, then it's gone again. What do you wish for? I could tell you all the things I want, the things I need, things you wouldn't believe. You know the hardest thing about being an angel? Convincing people that you're not. And I can't be an angel, because if I were, I would have had to turn back, from the road I'm planning on taking, oh so long ago.

 

If there's a way to infiltrate you

sway your mind and complicate you

I'm gonna crash into your world

and that's no lie

 

Later, as we lie back on the silver sands, you watch the stars, and I watch you, your inviting lips parted slightly in a soft smile, a twinkle in your beautiful expressive eyes to match the heavens. How can I convince you….?

 

Let your body move into the doorway

to the disco inside your head (Violet)

Wear a colour that you want to cling to

The colour inside your head (Violet)

 

I can't you out of my mind like Heero can't get you out of his room. And no matter how many times I tell myself that it's your choice, a choice you've probably already made, I can't still my heart as it thunders out a crazy Latino beat every time you turn that amazing dishonest grin on me. Maybe you never tell a lie, but are you sure you aren't living one? I think not. I know I can't help but ache for you while we are both here, so close, so removed from the truth.

 

Contemplate jealousy

Intermixed with urgency

A million things take a damned

good shot at you and me

 

This morning I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming, as you fooled around with him, flirting so outrageously that he knew it was an act. I knew it too, but that didn't stop me wanting to rip his heart out. It's not fair! Not fair on Heero, but not fair on me either. You don't want him, so why are you doing it? Are you trying to provoke me? Test me? This is my fault really, there's always an excuse to wait, to not make a move, missions, surveillance, paper work, exhaustion. Just being this close to you tires me out, not doing anything is just as hard and just as safe as wanting. Maybe … maybe it's too hard. And maybe it's okay for me to be weak for once.

 

If there's a way to infiltrate you

sway your mind and complicate you

I'm gonna crash into your world

and that's no lie

 

My thoughts filter out to a glorious blank as I release Sandrock's controls and wait for the oncoming Leo to hit me full on. You're a good twenty metres behind me, but as always, I can feel your excitement, your fear, and your barely contained, near sexual thrill the adrenaline of the battle creates. I can't escape you, but can you escape me? I silently yell a resounding NO as the enemy suit smashes me into unconsciousness and into Deathscythe's waiting arms.

 

Let your body move into the doorway

to the disco inside your head (Violet)

Wear a colour that you want to cling to

The colour inside your head (Violet)

 

My head is swimming, and to open my eyes makes my brain ache. White walls and antiseptic. And now I must be dreaming because you're there, leaning over me, and I let my vision unfocus and drift away into repeating pools of violet. But you call to me, so I answer, a buzz exciting me as I feel the concern and slight desperation in your voice.

 

My head doesn't matter one jot because you're pulling me into your arms and hugging me fiercely and whispering all those wonderful words I've needed to hear for so long! You'll admit it, and any guilt I may have had over my manipulation of your heart like this is lost under this heavenly sensation! You want me, please say you want me, because now I don't think I can let go of you.

 

I'm gonna take you

I'll do my best to break you

I'm gonna take you higher

And that's no lie

 

And I'll tell you all those words I've had waiting for you for so long, and you'll tell me how you know, how you knew and you're sorry for all that you did, all the time you made me wait, all the hurt you made me feel, all the acts you shouldn't have played. Maybe I should let you feel a little guilty, that I felt forced to go to such drastic measures to show you how serious I was. Because I'm so not perfect it's a joke, but I love it, like I love the way you're ashamed, but then, I love everything about you, and you love to play me as much as I intend to play you.

 

Now I can. Now I have you and my heart is fit to burst and my lust is begging to be satisfied. How far are you willing to go to prove yourself to me? How reckless, how needy do I want to seem? How strong is your desire to listen to those base urges that we, fallen angels both, have, feel, need to give release to?

 

Common sense is a game

Many people don't like to play

but give in

and the moment takes you either way

 

This is probably more dangerous than letting that Leo hit me, but I just can't think straight as you lean over me and I can smell you, your hair and that hint of musk from the flight suits and your fear intermingled with longing. I grab your braid where it taunts me, hanging over your shoulder, and drag you towards me with a strength I didn't know I had right now, and know I'm going to wish I had in the morning. But at present I don't think I can feel anything but my heart beating in my chest and my desire straining under the thin medi-bay sheets and I grab your crotch. The hardness thrills me and draws a moan from you; I love your voice, I love it most when you aren't using it to speak. You can protest, but your weakness is as mine, no, this isn't sensible, but I really don't care.

 

I've got a dream to take you over

exploding like a supernova

I'm gonna crash into your world

and that's no lie

 

It's like everything I could never dream of, a thousand thoughts and emotions crashing together and leaving me hollow, drained, aching, so perfect. The things you do to me, the senseless overload, a pounding, lust-quenching, mindless rapture. I want to do it all over again and I want to see the overwhelming pleasure on your face. You have to let me now, there's no choice. You know it, you let it happen.

 

Let your body move into the doorway

to the disco inside your head (Violet)

Wear a colour that you want to cling to

The colour inside your head (Violet)

 

I amaze myself, how naturally it comes to me, how truly beautiful you look with your hair sweat-slicked to you face, panting and gasping for more. Only now does the reality crash home. You want me, you need me like I need you, and my blood boils with ecstasy anew. You are truly my mystifying angel, yet I see you completely and you let me; our souls are painfully on show and deliciously ripe for the plucking. I can taste you; you flood me and drown in me. Even when your shining lids flutter closed, I can see the colour of your eyes, a violet after-image scarred on my retina. I can never forget this moment, this eon, this forever. And I can barely wait for the consequences.

 

If there's a way that you could

be everything you want to be,

would you complain that it came too easy?

In a way, we're the same

two people looking out to sea

for a wave that would carry all our fantasies (Violet)

 

Are you satisfied? Will we feel this way tomorrow? Can a thing so flawlessly ephemeral be held, cherished, cultivated, by two such fallible creatures. Could we possibly deserve this? I'll carry on looking, for an end, for the future, for whatever comes next. Because we know this is only the beginning. And we both want more, and we'll never be satisfied. Not forever. But maybe the moments will be worth it.

 

 

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You gotta love Savage Garden, but most of the other songs seem to have been done to death, and this one's my favourite from the first album. Please tell me what you think, most of my writing is song-inspired, but did this work? Thanks for reading!