Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ VIVA ❯ Monday with Ice Cream Chords ( Chapter 7 )

8: Monday with Ice Cream Chords

Treize Kushrenada was enjoying an early morning cup of coffee he felt was much deserved after a raucous night in the theatre dorms. For some reason he could not fathom his wayward students had decided Sunday night was now skit night, meaning the halls were filled with extremely talented students pretending to be anything but. He had stupidly left his room three times. The first time he had dared to wander to the coffee machine, only to find it `under repair' and in a thousand small pieces. The second he had needed to use the bathroom, but had found a human-sized rubber ducky floating in ankle deep water in the middle of the lavatory with a lion tamer insisting it jump through the hoop, a ventriloquist nearby demanding this yellow lion was a coward and was going nowhere near its hoop. The final straw was when he opened his door to find a general who insisted a giant robot was attacking their `base of command' and that `Cornel' Une was demanding his presence as he was the only one who could stop it. Treize had locked his door and refused to come out until 5am, when he had finally heard silence descend on the block.

And so here he was, at ten to six, coffee in hand, machine blessedly returned to one piece, when he heard it. Footsteps. Someone had awakened. He was about to run, hide, get away, anything! When a box with legs entered the room and all he could do was laugh. The box walked straight to him, some radar sense allowing it to know exactly where he was, and it suddenly threw itself on the table top, not an inch from his coffee, to reveal a haggard looking Chang Wufei. Treize wasn't sure what to do, so he arched one eyebrow and hoped he didn't look as thoroughly wiped out as his pupil.

"Don't look at me like that, General Kushrenada!" Wufei snarled, a smirk only barely visible at the corners of his mouth.

"You heard about that?"

Wufei stared at him blankly for several minutes before replying.

"I was supposedly flying the giant robot," He said too calmly before sitting himself across the table and reaching into the box blindly. Treize couldn't help it; he laughed. How anyone had managed to drag Wufei into a round of psychotic skits was beyond him, but he would bet any amount of money that Sally Po had something to do with it.

"What's this?" Treize waved a hand in the direction of the box and was rewarded with a fairly feral grin. That was answer enough and Treize tossed a hand in, felt around and pulled something out. That `something' just happened to be some strange looking circle of rice paper with several strings hanging off it. On the end of each string was a small sphere of cork.

"Here," Wufei said softly, pulling out a funnel and placing it over the hole in the top of the rice paper ball on a stick. Treize wiggled the stick around and the small corks flew at the sides of the ball. The sound was caught in the funnel, went through some kind of whistle in the end and made a high pitched flute sounding rhythm with an echo like fingers patting rice paper…it was strangely beautiful, like tribal and oriental mixed together.

"It's lovely."

"Thank you," Wufei replied softly, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. His hands were already putting the funnel down and seeking out more instruments from the box. Not waiting for an invitation, Treize too began pulling out instruments, every now and then holding something up in a silent request to be told how it worked. Wufei was more than happy to oblige. And so they passed breakfast over a box of home made instrumentalia, only vaguely aware of the other students who filed in over the following hour in a zombie-like state. When they did finally put it all back in the box, Treize stretched back and looked expectantly at his pupil.

"My lecture first?"

"Yes. What's it on?" Wufei looked slightly nervous. Treize was not surprised. He never told his students in advance what was coming, trying to keep an element of surprise and theatre in his classes. He grinned, wiggled his finger and turned away, off to the lecture hall, aware of Wufei, still carting that box, close on his heels.

Wufei sat near the front, but to the side, near the window that opened onto the courtyard between the theatre and music blocks. Treize could see Heero nearby, working with Hilde, no doubt on one of that Barton kid's compositions. Trieze didn't move Wufei, knowing that while he would certainly be listening to the guitarists, he was also perfectly capable of multi-tasking and would miss none of the lecture.

"Today's lecture is on," he said loud enough to get the whole room's attention, all forty odd students. He began writing it on the board even as he said it in a deep, dark ominous voice that left the room in silence… "Karelian theatre and the dramatic impact of post-Viking torture to the stage."

Treize couldn't help it. He laughed at the fish like faces staring back at him and almost had to leave the room when he saw the grin plastered across Sally Po's face and the horror on Wufei's as he looked across at Miss Po. Today was going to be more fun that he ever could have imagined.

"Please open your texts to Chapter Nine, page four hundred and seventy two. As you can see, a map is there, depicting the lands now known as Finland, Russia and Lappland. The area between east Lappland, north-east Finland and north-west Russia, marked in bright red so you cannot miss it, was once home to race of people known as Karelians, often mistaken for Votes. These people existed in pre and post Viking times, developing a vibrant arts tradition that was passed on orally. It is the only oral tradition to have survived practically in its entirety to today."

The whole class was dead silent, eyes glued on the map, ears straining to hear every detail. Treize almost didn't want to continue lest he break the spell.

"Before and after Viking times, several new tales began to work their way into the oral stories of Karelia, particularly tales about an adventurer named Vainamoinen. You can find modern renditions of this imaginary hero's adventures in the Kalevala. For those double majors, you will be interested to note Vainamoinen was famous for subduing whole armies with a magical Kantele, a sitar like instrument. Several of the songs he used can be found in the Kanteletar, the sequel to the Kalevala. Both books are in the library."

Trieze saw Wufei scribbling notes on his page and knew the book would be booked out five minutes after his lecture.

"As these stories developed, so too, naturally, did the theatrical versions. Stages were developed in a great stone complex's similar to amphitheatres, though on a much smaller scale. Operas are now held in these venues. However, as the Vikings came to an end and returned to their countries, the theatre became a macabre place, obsessed with portraying Viking conquests and the tortures they had invented for their slaves. This overflowed into the Karelian stage shows."

It was a vague summary of what was in the text, but Treize didn't want to bore his students.

"Miss Po. If you would turn read us the example given of a Karelian stage torture on the next page."

All the heads turned slightly to the next page as Sally's voice rang over the hushed room. Treize couldn't help but notice that even the sounds of music in the courtyard had stopped and several familiar faces were now looking in through the window expectantly.

"An example of Post-Viking stage torture. A victim was first fed a full meal. The victim would then be tied to a horse. An incision was made just above the belly button. The intestine was then torn from the end of the stomach with the bare fingers and pulled out through the incision. The end of the intestine was then nailed to a tree and the horse was walked…oh, that's so cool!... around the tree until the intestine was completely wrapped around the trunk! The man was then untied from the horse and tied to the tree with the remainder of his intestines. He would die not long after when the food tried to digest beyond the stomach."

Dead silence. Treize grinned.

"GROSS!" A female voice suddenly bellowed and the whole class laughed as Hilde went running back to the music block, Heero shaking his head as he followed at a more sedate pace.

"Now," Treize continued when the class had finally calmed down. "I want you to work in pairs and create for me a post-Viking Karelian torture, complete with a one page explanation of the effect it would have on the theatre genre of that time."

There was not a single complaint.

*

Hilde came running into the lunch room, guitar still attached to her back, and fairly threw herself at Dorothy.

"Save me!"

Dorothy looked at the pinched face, the slightly sick pallor and looked to Heero.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," Heero said flatly. "Kushrenada was having an…interesting class…"

Dororthy's brows went up and her eyes had that glint in them that said `later you are going to tell me everything'. For now she pushed Hilde off her and started munching on a bread roll, trying to ignore the way Relena kept looking at Heero. She needed a distraction and it came in the form of her new favorite tease. Quatre walked in, with an all too familiar braided wonder boy. Dorothy grinned.

"Quatre!" She leapt onto her seat and stood, towering over the room as she pointed at the small blonde, all the heads in the cafeteria turning in that direction. Quatre blushed a dark red, Duo merely shrugged and looked anywhere but at Dorothy. "Get your cute butt over here and explain why you missed our early morning shower rendezvous!"

That got everyone's attention, as most people from the music block had at some point had a most unpleasant first day meeting with a very naked Dorothy in the shower block. Laughter covered Quatre's embarrassed way to the table. Dorothy couldn't help but notice how reluctant duo was to join them and it was damned obvious to her why. Shifting position so she could get out of the way if she really ha to, Dorothy took aim and kicked Heero hard in the shin. He wasn't ready for it, having had his undivided attention on Duo, and he nearly fell backwards off the seat. Relena was at his side immediately, and while the attention was elsewhere Dorothy was proud to see a slight smirk on Duo's face. She reached out, grabbed his wrist in one hand, his lunch in the other and pulled him onto the seat at her side. Quatre sat across from them, next to a free space Dorothy didn't doubt would soon be filled by Trowa, who was currently in line getting his customary salad, Wufei at his side.

"What did you have this morning?" Dorothy asked quietly, aware that Heero had actually engaged Relena in conversation. It didn't look strange, but it was and Dorothy knew it was his way of stubbornly refusing to be a part of a conversation with the boy who had almost broken his baby.

"Dance. Three hours of jazz…my feet are fucking killing me," Duo whispered back around a grin, somehow picking up on the strange vibes at the table and deciding to have his own fun. F they could have their own private little conversations, so too would he apparently.

"Ah, tell me about it. Two hours of String Orechestra with Dermail conducting!"

"Dermail…I got an assignment from him. Who is he?"

Dorothy paled. An assignment? But Duo was a vocal major…and a dance major, she reminded herself. Not good. At least they hadn't met yet. Curiosity got the better of her.

"He's the Dean. What's the assignment?"

"Write Finnish lyrics to this really weird song including the word `nightmare'…"

"That's…really…"

"Weird," they said in unison and laughed.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Duo continued. "I have managed to figure out that `nightmare' is `painajaisen' in Finnish, but the rest is near gibberish." He sighed heavily, fork poking at his food. He looked tired and a little depressed. Dorothy didn't like to see him that way, especially since she had left him in such good spirits after her performance a few days ago. She grinned, jabbing him in the ribs, and pointed to the cafeteria window. She saw the moment when his mind kicked in and registered what he was seeing, saw his eyes flicker over the already quarter full money jar.

"What is it?"

"No one knows. They look like chocolate pancakes…but…well, they wouldn't put chocolate pancakes out there, right?"

"Right…" His gaze was still on the glass counter, lips moving mischievously as if he could already taste it.

Trowa and Wufei chose that minute to sit down, noticed the newcomer to the table with not a little astonishment and soon followed his gaze to the counter.

"No way…" Wufei hissed under his breath and Trowa nodded. They honestly hadn't believed Dorothy when she had described what had happened last time. Well, they were about to see it first hand.

Duo stood and held out his hand. Dorothy promptly emptied the contents of his plate onto her own and passed it to him. He didn't even look at it as he wandered to the glass counter, nodded to the serving man behind it and held out his plate. The man grinned knowingly before dealing out five massive, thick, fat, slightly juicy looking pancakes. The spoke together for a moment before Duo headed back for the table. He was soon followed by most of the cooking staff.

Everyone at the able had frozen, and as Dorothy appeared to be quiet, the entire lunch room was now looking on in strained disbelief. Une, hearing nothing from the lunch room, came flying through the doors, saw the back of a head with a long chestnut braid and ran over, plonking herself down between Quatre and Trowa and waiting expectantly.

"Don't suppose you're going to tell me what's in these?" Duo looked expectantly at the cooking staff and they shook their heads. That was, of course, against the rules.

Knife and fork were suddenly in hand and he cut off a large chunk and shoveled it in, already cutting a second piece when he started chewing. Dorothy lost count…three pieces, four, swallow, five, six…swallow, seven…then a giant pause…

"You know…these really aren't very good pancakes. Taste kind of…plain…and bitter…"

Yet he continued to eat the entire plate and was rewarded with the jar of money. Dorothy and Quatre were both looking at the glass counter in thought.

"Don't," Duo said softly. "You don't want to know."

The chef laughed and patted Duo on the back, heading back to the kitchen to create some new masterpiece to put on display. Une didn't move, just staring at the empty plate and waiting. Dorothy couldn't blame her. What was in them?

"Spill the beans boy!"

"I'm more afraid I'm gonna spill the pancakes," Duo replied with a loud burp. Even Heero was looking at him in curiosity now. Duo merely shook his head, stood, grabbed his plate, skulled his glass of water and turned to leave.

"They were blood pancakes," he said over his shoulder.

There was dead silence.

"GROSS!" Hilde bellowed, leaping off her seat and running from the room. Wufei watched her go with a smirk. Dorothy saw even Heero seemed to have found Hilde amusing.

"I think I want to take Kushrenada's class…."

*

Notes: The Kalevala and Kanteletar are real books. You can find them in most city libraries, though finding a translated version can often be difficult. Information on Karelia is not easily available as it has been swallowed by other countries, however any book on pre-Viking peoples of lappland should have relevant information. Theatre in Karelia is a topic I have only studied in Finnish and I have no idea if there are books on this in English. This is a real, well used, Viking torture…I found it rather amusing when I was twelve… ;-P

Blood pancakes are a real food and do not suggest you try them. They're not that great.