Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Wanna Pilot Deathscythe Hell? ❯ Chapter 1

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

All standard disclaimers apply









All standard
disclaimers apply. I own nothing... I have nothing. Suing me gets you several
hours drained out of your personal life, lots of red tape and paperwork, and
twenty bucks poorer than when you first came in. Well, maybe you'd get my
sketchbooks and my rock collection, but those are no big catches. XD

Author note: It's
kinda sad how strung I was to write something after only two weeks of computer
isolation. I simply couldn't take it anymore... so in my rationed comp time, I
sat down and did a lil ditty just to calm my restless writer's nerves. So, yeah...
this was a really quick something, just for fun and a little different from my
usual fics- probably more reminiscent of "Crude Humor"- which, by the
way, I still intend to finish. ^^;;; I hope I don't get killed by the Dr. Seuss
fans out there- believe me, I love his work too. I just thought it would be
cute to make a sort of Gundam parody... and "Green Eggs and Ham" has
always been a favorite of mine. ^_^;;;

Warnings: Slight
bashing, yaoi content, language and reference to mecha sex

Guide: (...) =
thoughts, [...] = author commentary, *...* = actions, feelings, reactions, etc,
<...> translations





*** WANNA PILOT DEATHSCYTHE HELL? ***





** Enter scene:
Duo and Heero's usual stereotype room **

Duo: *Walks into
the room with a huge smirk on his face. Obviously, he's been admiring his mecha
again- then again, who wouldn't?* So... whatcha think of my Shinigami, spandex
boy? Pretty sweet ride, wouldn't ya say? *nudge nudge*

Heero: <.<
*Could care less about any mobile suit that isn't his* Hn. *makes it a point to
turn on his laptop and "ignore" Duo for the rest of this fic*

Duo:
*Disappointed* Aw, c'mon Heero! You KNOW that D-Hell kicks ass even BETTER than
Wing! *poke poke*

MD: *Inserts
herself briefly* And not to mention, TAKES more ass. XD

Duo: *Blinks* >.>
MD? What are you doing in here?

Heero: *Perks and
actually looks up from the screen* And what the hell did you mean by that last
remark?

MD:
*Smmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrkkkkkkk* Well, not to go strictly 2x1 on you guys...
but do you remember the first time you guys met?

D & H: *Nod*

MD: Or more
precisely, when Duo first found Wing?

D & H: *Nod*

MD: And he didn't
know Heero had meant to try and destroy it and deactivated the self-destruct
mode?

Heero: ? *Iz
clueless*

Duo: *Realizes
the implications* O_o *bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush* You SAW that?

MD: Deathscythe
was getting some LONG before you ever did, braid boy! XD

Duo: *Sputtering*
Hey! That's NOT fair, MD!

Heero: What the
heck is she talking about? What did she see? *Eyes the other boy purposely*

MD: ^_^ Nandemo
nai <It's nothing!>, Hee-chan! *Waves it off* "Inside" joke...
thass all... *breaks of into another peal of laughter and stumbles back out of
the fic*

Duo: O.O *Iz
having some REALLY hentai <perverted> thoughts concerning Gundams 01 and
02*

Heero: ... *Looks
pissed for not being able to get the punchline*

Duo: *Cough*
Eh... where were we? *fidgets* (My GOD, I never thought of it that way!)

Heero:
*Gllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

Duo: ^_^;;; Uh...
um... yeah. D-Hell would whoop Wing any day... *Hopes Heero will just forget it
and get back to the story at hand* (I wonder what would happen if Gundams could
procreate?)

[O_O Gundams?
Procreate? *Falls over laughing and goes about writing THAT fic too for the
heck of it*]

Heero: *Never one
to disappoint* Ch'! *Stares at his computer screen even harder*

Duo: *Smirks
again and gets back into the swing of things* Come on, Hee-kun... I'll make ya
a deal. Take Deathscythe out for a quick spin and see how she handles. I'll bet
you LIKE her. If you don't, I'll leave you alone.

Heero: ...
*Thinks about it* No. [Cause we all KNOW he doesn't want Duo to leave him
alone... LOL]

Duo: *buh-link*
No?

Heero: No.

Duo: Why not?

Heero: I have my
own mobile suit- that's enough for me. Besides, I don't need to fly yours to
know it handles well. I've SEEN her in action before.

Duo: *Tap tap
tap* Is that the best you could come up with? Geez Heero! *throws up his hands*
That's not an excuse!

Heero: Why should
I need to explain myself? I have nothing to prove! *Doesn't bother pretending
to look at his laptop any longer*

Duo: *Practically
leering* You know what I think? *Comes to stand nose to nose with Heero* I
think you're just DYING to find out what it's like... *uses the patented
Shinigami voice of seduction (tm)* [*Cough cough* Wonder what Duo's REALLY
talking about? XD]

*Several swoons
and fangirl/boi squeals can be heard. Faintly, one can hear Wufei grumbling as
he mops up the drool that's starting to puddle around the fic*

Heero: *Squirms
slightly*

Duo: *Backs off
suddenly* But you're just too damn proud to admit it.

Heero: *Struggles
to regain his lost composure* You have nothing on me, Maxwell.

Duo: *Snorts*
Sure. We'll see... *Goes over to the room's desk and pulls open the top drawer
to search for something*

Heero: *Fuming*
(That Duo Maxwell... that... DUO MAXWELL... oh... damn it to HELL that Duo
Maxwell! Waitaminute! That sounds so stupid!! Who the hell wrote this script
anyway?!) *Peeks at the book*

MD: *Reappears
quickly* How easily we forget...

Heero: >.>
Go away.

MD: *Shrugs*
Fine... be that way. *Half hearted glare* We'll just see what happens to you in
the end of "Crude Humor" when I get done with the last chapter! XD
*Disappears*

Heero: *Sweatdrop*
Kuso... >.<

Duo: *Comes back
smiling, with two sets of scrolled papers* Wanna pilot Deathscythe Hell?

Heero: *Knows
that he's about to face another drawn out Duo-style taunt* No. I will not fly
her, Duo Maxwell... I will not pilot Deathscythe Hell. *Crosses his arms
defiantly* (And give you the satisfaction? Never!)

Duo: *Ignores
Heero's rejection and flicks out the scrolls to reveal maps of two different
areas* Would you fly her here or there?

Heero: <.<
I would not fly her here or there. I would not fly her anywhere. I will not fly
her, Duo Maxwell. I will not pilot Deathscythe Hell. Now stop making me repeat
myself.

Duo: Why is that?
*Mischievous grin*

Heero: You WON'T
change my mind.

Duo: We'll see
about that. *Opens the closet and starts rummaging*

Heero: *Rubs his
temples* Damnit, this is going to be a long day. -_- (Mental note. Kill Dr.
Seuss if the bastard isn't already dead and then MD for making me do this.
Damned incompetent writers...)

[Oh bitch bitch.
Don't you EVER stop complaining, Heero? XD]

Heero: (Actually,
if you want to know... no.)

[Eh? Heero? How
did you hear me? I'm not even in the fic right now!]

Heero: (Nevermind
that. You'd just better start planning on how you're going to protect yourself
when I get out of here...)

[Ooh... feisty
today, aren't we?]

Heero: >.<
(Shut up bitch!) *Begins ripping up the script* (I don't have to take this from
you!)

Duo: *Blink*
Heero? Are you okay?

Heero: >.>
Why do ask that? *Iz beginning to breathe hard*

Duo: You just
ruined the script!

Heero: I hate
this damn thing! Screw the script! The just wing it already! And make it quick!
>.<

Duo: *Sweatdrop*
Damn... you must be REALLY horny today, huh? ^^;;;

Heero: ...
*Quirk?* Hn. Maybe. *Slow, evil smile forms*

Duo: *Perk!*
Hounto???? *Glomps onto Heero's arm*

Heero: *Smirk*
Hurry up with this damn scene and we can go home and I'll show you what I'd
REALLY like to ride...

Duo: ^^ *Blush*

[O_O Heero?! The
the F#*@ are you doing?!!!]

Heero: (Whatever
the hell I want! Try and stop me!) Come on Duo...

Duo: Uh...
*Starts firing questions at Heero at machine gun speed* Would you fly it near
or far? Would you fly to stop the war? *Nuzzle nuzzle*

Heero: Iie.
<No> *Smiles down at Duo, still cuddling his arm*

Duo: Would you
fly to Paris, France? Only in your underpants? XD

Heero: <.<
*Cough cough*

Duo: To the heart
of outerspace? Just to give the Bitchcraft chase?

Quatre: *Appears*
Hey! Don't make fun of my Uchuu no Kokoro! <Heart of Outerspace>

Duo: >.> Q?
Where the heck did you come from?

Quatre: *Blink
blink* Erm... I don't know, actually. <.< I thought I was with Trowa a
second ago?

Trowa: You were,
Little One.

Quatre: >.>
Trowa! ^^ *Glomp!*

Trowa: ...

Heero: ...

Trowa: *Carries
Quatre out there door* If you'll excuse us... *Leaves*

Duo: Um...

Heero: *Scowls*
Nice attempt, MD. It didn't work.

MD: *Steps out of
the shadows* So sue me...

Duo: Why?

MD: Heero's
trying to sabotage this fic!

Duo: But... *Gets
all teary eyed* please???

MD: >.>
*Sweatdrop*

Duo: *Lip
quivers*

MD: -_-;;;

Duo:
PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEEE?????

MD: *Throws hands
up in the air* Fine! Do whatever you like! But you'd better make sure that this
is received well!

Duo: *Salutes*
Yes ma'am! ^_~

MD: *Re-exits,
grumbling*

Heero: You were
saying?

Duo: *Blinkies*
Oh! ^^;;; Gomen! <Sorry!>

Heero: *Rolls
eyes*

Duo: ::Ahem!:: To
the moon, to the sun? When you're bored, just for fun?

Heero: *Shakes
head no*

Duo: Will you fly
her to confront Zechs? Or how about to get home faster to have sex?

Heero: *BLUSH*
Duo...

Duo: Yeah,
yeah... I have a one track mind... can you blame me?

Heero: ...

Duo: *Getting
antsy* For the mission? For a friend? Just to make this damn fic end?!

Heero: *thinks
about it*

Duo: If you won't
fly her for any of this... would you fly her for a kiss?

Heero: *Quirk* A
kiss? Is that all?

Duo: *Smirks*
Well, you'd get much more if you said yes to something so we could hurry up and
leave! *Taps foot impatiently*

Heero: *Nudge
nudge* Now who's the horny one?

Duo: >.>
You know what, Yuy? Bite me.

Heero: Ryoukai.
<Understood/Accepted> *Grabs him*

Duo: O.o ACK!!!
*Squirm* But Heero! Everyone's watching us!

Heero: No,
they're not. *Grabs his gun from Spandex space ™ and shoots the camera*



*** Transmission
Loss ***



*Giggles* Short,
silly and completely pointless. ^_~ So... Who thinks I should go ahead and do
that "procreation" ficcie now? XD