Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ When the Heart Overrules... ❯ Follow Your Emotions... ( Chapter 6 )

When the Heart Overrules…

By Tygerlilee

Chapter Six

Follow Your Emotions…

*Disclaimer: I don't own it so don't sue, yadda, yadda, yadda.

A/N: '…' in a conversation doesn't necessarily mean that the person is trailing off. It can also mean that they were interrupted and not allowed to finish their thought or that they just plain old didn't finish their thought--in my writing anyway.

/ denotes thought

* denotes flashback and sound

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She closed her eyes tight, trying to shut out the pain. Her cheek was pressed to the glass, the heat from her skin and slow, even breath forming cloudy vapor on the window. She could feel the cool pressure and hear the soft patter of the rain, just on the other side.

Just on the other side... /like every thing else-so close and somehow, so far. /

* "Relena, you're stressed and no one's taking care of you. Why don't you stay with me. A friend is letting me use his home while I'm here," Dominique offered.

"But the investigation is over. You have to go back home yourself," Relena said, slightly perplexed.

"I decided to take some vacation while you're here." Dominique smiled pleasantly at her.

"That's very nice of you, but I don't want to trouble…"

"You're staying with me. Come on," Dominique finalized.

Relena meekly went along. /I want to patch this whole affair up. I want to stay with Dominique. /

*

A sob rose up into her throat, and she hiccuped it down. /Why am I so upset. I love Dominique, so what's my problem? Come on Relena, buck up! I've shed enough tears, it's time to move on, to forget. But I can't. I can't stop seeing his face! /

Her heart wouldn't let her forget. /I made the right decision, didn't I? /

She chose to have a safe secure life with a man not afraid to say "I love you." A man not afraid to let someone in...

Her heart was ripping through her chest, crushing her ribs-breathing was becoming increasingly difficult, heavy and ragged as she smothered her tears.

An unearthly cry arose form the pitter-patter of the rain. Relena was startled to realize that she herself had made that sound...that her heart was making that sound...that heart-wrenching sound.

She slowly sunk down to the floor and curled into a little ball, her slender frame shaking and trembling. She wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her face, feeling the soft cloth of her skirt soak in her tears.

/I chose...I made the correct decision...I'll be safe and taken care of, / her head kept telling her.

/I chose Dominique...I did so correctly, I did... / but her heart wouldn't agree as Heero's face appeared unbidden into her mind's eye.

/He never said that he loved me...he didn't try to stop me from leaving, / her head reminded her.

/But I never needed him to say it before!! / her heart screamed back.

/He's always only wanted me to achieve peace. He said as much years ago...he doesn't want to fight...he's using me to have that...he only wants his own freedom…freedom from pain and responsibility…he's simply a selfish, arrogant.../ her head continued.

/NO!!! I love him and he loves me. I saw it in his eyes and I still do even now! / her heart screamed as loud as it could to be heard over the head.

"I made the wrong choice." Relena did not even recognize her own voice as it came out, broken and hoarse. "I should have chosen him..." her heart said aloud.

"Relena," Dominique called. "Relena!" his voice was worried and so far away...

Suddenly he was shaking her, /but he seems so far... /

Her head flopped weakly to one shoulder. "Relena, snap out of this!" Dominique was scared. /It's written in your eyes, / Relena thought. /Heero, you have never been frightened for me. /

Dominique picked Relena up gently, one arm under her knees and the other around her neck and shoulders. "You need some sleep," he said softly in her ear.

/Yes he was, at Peacemillion. He was afraid that I would not make it out alive. That's why he fought…for me. /

"No, Dominique," Relena gripped his shirt collar and looked into his large hazel eyes. "No."

"No what?" he almost laughed, eyes sparkling with mischief, as if this were all one big joke, one big nightmarish joke.

"Dominique, I can't be with you," her voice broke at each syllable, straining.

"I don't understand. Relena, you said..." his face fell abruptly, abandoning the cheerful facade.

"I know what I said, but that wasn't my heart talking." Dominique was now siting on the stairs, with Relena on his lap, her head on his chest. Her tears were flowing freely again, she could see the large darkened area on his shirt, soaking in her tears, and her pain. /I love Heero, / her heart asserted.

Suddenly a surge of strength riveted through Relena, and she pushed herself upright, unsupported, to look into his eyes. "I'm in love with Heero. I have been since we were fifteen." Dominique's eyes widened at the implications and Relena silenced him with one finger on his lips.

"I love him. He's intelligent, kind, and...and yes, even risky," she decided to say. She had to word what she said about Heero carefully, so as to not injure him.

"I can't help my feelings. I know I would be more secure with you, but I don't love you the way I love him, and could never be happy." She stopped and looked at Dominique. His heart seemed to be in his eyes, open and vulnerable.

/Heero looked at me like this, once. / The day on Peacemillion flashed through her mind once more.

"I'm sorry?" Dominique's voice was cold and calculated.

She had broken his heart.

"I don't know what to do, Dominique! Tell me what to do to make this easier! Tell me what to do to make this pain, mine, yours, his, go away!" she pleaded.

Dominique stood up abruptly, letting Relena fall heavily to the stairs. "Make up your mind zut!!" He was starting to revert to angry French and Relena, for the first time since she had known him, was frightened, frightened of HIM. He was a very kind man, and never got angry, even when he found her with Heero, he did not yell or become short and sarcastic with her. /But everyone has their limits. I've pushed him to his. /

Dominique was pacing in rapid circles around the floor, his fingers laced through his hair, gripping the scalp beneath. He stopped and looked at her with blood-shot eyes. "Relena, make up your mind." His words were deliberately evenly spaced and carefully enunciated. "Choose for the FINAL time. Mees-tare Yuy," he spat the name like a disease, "or me," he said softly.

Relena looked up from her position on the floor, directly into his eyes. "Heero." Her voice was firm.

Dominique's nose rose as his lip curled into a snarl. "Get out of my sight, Ma'moizelle and never come back." His voice was like poison, ripping at her, burning through her. She didn't want to hurt anyone. She wanted this to be over.

Relena kept her gaze steady, not sure how to get out of the situation. Whether to pass him and risk getting assaulted, or to stare him down like a wolf--she didn't know.

But Dominique chose for her. Her turned, and walked out of the hall. Relena could hear his heavy footfalls, then the door slammed.

Relena closed her eyes tightly and cried all alone in the silent, empty hall.

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The next week was a nightmare, a hellish dream. She continued to work on the settlement, but she couldn't leave until it was finished. She had destroyed two of the men in her life that she loved the most. She was floundering, lost in a pool of dark thoughts and depression--alone and cold.

When Thursday of that week came, they finally made a settlement and thus she had no more reason to stay in France, but the first shuttle flight she could get to L-2 on was Saturday night.

She booked it and prayed that either she would not meet Dominique on the streets, or he had gone home. She didn't know if she could take hurting him even more. But she now knew that Heero was the right one after all. She could not bear to live with someone else knowing that Heero was out there. Could she? /Great, now I'm doubting myself again! Please, someone-anyone, give me the courage to stick with this decision and make it through this....please..../

She fell into a fitful sleep Friday night, dreams and visions of torn, bloodied hearts filled her mind. She couldn't bear hurting others, but it was unavoidable. It was all love and war. Make a painful decision now to avoid war and more pain later on.

The next morning, Relena found herself sitting in a shabby shuttle lobby, waiting to board the spacecraft. She was on her way to him, to the choice of her heart. /Please let him forgive me. Let him take me back! And please let me have the courage I need, / she pleaded.

The flight was long and tedious for a restless person. Relena kept having visions of Heero's reaction to her return. In some she ran before she got there. In another he slapped her. In others, he called her hideous names and slammed the door. She didn't even dare to believe that he would take her back. Not after what she had done.

When she disembarked, she headed for a telephone booth and searched out the telephone book. /He's not here. Unlisted! Poop!!/ she panicked.

/Wait!!! He lives with Hilde and... / her mind stopped thinking as she looked up the business.

She found the number and quickly called. No one answered. She nearly hung up, but then Hilde's voice came on the line telling their hours. "...on Sunday we're closed."

Relena pulled out her flight stub...she had been on an over-night flight...it was Sunday. /They'll be home then, but where is that?/

* "Hilde and Duo fixed up the warehouse next to their business," Heero said.

*

"That's it!" Relena sprinted to the street, yelling for a cab. "Take me to 1798 Marrowy Lane, North side, " she panted. She had memorized the address in the telephone book.

When the cab stopped, she threw several bills at him and sprinted to the door. /Please, oh please, don't let them hate me, don't let Heero have told Duo and Hilde what I did! / she thought as she knocked.

But her thoughts stopped completely as she came face to face with a handsome, young, Japanese man.

"Relena," Heero said softly.

Relena stared at him blankly for a moment then rushed ahead recklessly with the words she had rehearsed fifty thousand times before over the past week or so.

"Heero, I know I made a mistake, and I know that you probably hate me, WITH REASON, and I know what you meant about following your emotions and I messed that up too, but I just," she rushed at break-neck speed before her courage took a flying leap and ran for cover.

"Do you want to come in?" Heero interrupted her tirade.

Relena's mouth remained open as she panted for breath and looked confused. /He's being so nice! /

"Here," Heero said as he gently pulled her into the warehouse. "Hilde and Duo are going to be out for a while, so we can talk."

"Heero, I," Relena began, but was stopped by Heero's look. "What is it?" she asked. "What are you looking at?"

"You," Heero said softly.

That was when Relena noticed that he was smiling...at her. He had a peaceful look in his eyes and a soft smile on his lips.

Then, all fear left. All doubt vanished, and peace remained. /This is right. How could I have ever doubted? This is right. How could I not see it before? How was I so blind? Heero was trying to stop me from leaving, but I would not listen or understand what he was telling me...to act on my emotions. /

"Heero, I love you," she said softly.

Heero continued to smile as he wrapped her into a warm embrace. Relena rested her head on his shoulder and relaxed as he rubbed her back. "I love you," she whispered again, in his ear.

"I know you do," he whispered back. "What made you decide to act on it?"

"My heart it..." she paused, as if out of breath even though she had been standing still for several minutes. "My heart it, it overruled my head."

Then she closed her eyes and let herself bask in his reassuring warmth, peaceful and safe. Relena smiled into his arms. /I thought that I knew what you meant before, but I didn't. Act on your emotions...how could I have not understood? When the heart overrules, everything is right-everything falls into place. /

~Finis~

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A/N: I know that I spelled certain words strangely, but I was spelling them how they were pronounced by the character. In the last chapter, I mentioned that the password for the computer was fille. There is significance in that. Fille means 'girl' in French. The problem is, there are about fifty bazillion ways to say prostitute in French, and saying girl without an adjective is one. Remember that anyone planning to go to France or taking French-if you want girl to mean girl and not prostitute, tell what kind of girl it is. Make it a young girl (or technically girl young), pretty girl, etc.

Again, before you flame me about getting people out of character, read "Episode Zero" and the lyrics to the image songs.

Just to keep things straight...just because Relena and Dominique slept in the same building for a couple nights doesn't mean that they shared a bed and stayed up all night doing the horizontal polka! I view Relena as a very classy person who doesn't sleep with someone out of wedlock, even if it is her fiancé. I may sound old fashioned, but that is how I view Relena. She seems so innocent yet headstrong and firm in the show that I can't picture her doing that. Also, some people have indicated that they thought Dominique was a scum bucket-he is not. He did lose his temper and feel threatened by the competition, Heero, but who wouldn't! Not only was Heero competition for the girl, but also in the work field. Dominique and Heero were from two different companies both going for the sell. Dominique is a very nice guy, or else Relena wouldn't love him (not as much as she loves Heero though ^_~ ). I wanted to make him do something really nice so that you could see that, but it didn't fit so I didn't put it in. Instead, I'm being a moron and explaining how the characters should be viewed. Big no-no I realize, but I like Dominique.

I really hoped you enjoyed this and please review!! I need opinions so that my next fic will be better. I'm trying to write a romance for each couple, but the going is slow. So far I only have this one and Trowa with a character I invented-sorry, but I just think that Catherine sees Trowa as her little brother and you can't fall in love when you think of someone like that. The Trowa fic was my first one and it's on fanfiction.net and Ai Shiteru if anyone cares. I am also working on a saga called Blood Bonds that I might connect with this story. I'd have to revise a few parts of this, but it could be done-it would also depend on whether or not I decided to let Heero die in the saga, I still haven't decided that. Anyway, does anyone want me to do that?

Chris, thanks for your suggestions and reviews!! You're awesome (man, was that teenie-bopper or what?)!! Sorry I didn't use your suggestion, but it was good!! And I did try to make it emotional like you suggested!! ...anyway, thanks bunches!!!

Once more, I will apologize for having such insanely long authors notes-feel free to verbally beat me for it...I didn't intend too, but I wanted to make sure certain things were clear without changing the story.

Again, thanks for reading!

Toodles for now, Tygerlilee =^.^=