Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ When We Were Young ❯ No One Said Life Was Fair ( Chapter 12 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

A/N: Another update!!! I realized I haven't updated this in awhile…and I've been so busy with my other two stories that I have out. Geez, I need to learn to finish a story before starting another one. -_- ehehehe.

Disclaimer: I don't own GW or the characters…blah blah ooooomgosh disclaimers are so boring!!!

FYI: Sorry for the biiiiig skip, but I didn't want to drone on and on about things they learned and stuff. So here they are, graduating. I will write one or two more chapters after this. After that….it's all a blur…^_^ oh yah, lyrics in <these things>

Warnings: Some angsty, sappy stuff. Nothing too bad. Also…a bit limey-ish. Again, nothing drastic.

"No One Said Life Was Fair"

Noin sat on a tree branch, leaning her back against the trunk. Her deep violet eyes were unfocused, because the young cadet was deep in thought. Graduation was finally here, and she wasn't as thrilled as she thought she would be. Especially considering she graduated second best in the class. Noin gave a wry smirk; Zechs, of course, had been the top graduate. He had accused her of holding back on the final exams, no matter how much she told him differently. Perhaps he was being modest…or maybe he had little self-confidence. To this day, Noin didn't pretend to know everything about Zechs. She knew there were things he hid from her and she never pushed the issue. But she also knew that he was her best friend, and she would hold to that for the rest of her life.

Swinging her legs in the air with a small giggle, allowing herself to have a moment of much-needed childish pleasure. The gentle night breeze tousled her cropped raven hair. She knew that she was no longer a child, and was a soldier to be reckoned with. The cadets would be staying a little while longer for some extra training. That's what Noin had been told, but she had yet to talk to Zechs about what he thought of this. Oh well, she would see him in the morning at breakfast.

Noin swung herself from the branch and landed lightly on the dew-dappled ground. She walked slowly back towards her dorm room, enjoying the fresh air as long as she could. It was very beautiful at night, when the harsh sun wasn't beating upon her dark head.

The Italian came to halt when she came to her room. The door was slightly ajar, and her soldier's instinct kicked in. Opening the door slowly, Noin relaxed when she saw Zechs's flaxen head outlined in the dark room. It always amazed her when he wasn't wearing his mask…he really was beautiful. She flipped on a light and saw that he was staring at her floor.

"Zechs?" she asked hesitantly, wondering what was wrong with her friend.

"Why isn't your stuff packed, Noin?" he replied, looking up to have his ice blue eyes lock in a gaze with her deep violet ones.

She frowned with obvious confusion. What did he mean…they were supposed to stay for extra training…right?

"I was told we were staying for extra training, and to receive our assignments and posts," she said, her eyebrows knitting together.

Zechs broke his gaze from hers, shaking his head.

"Commander Khushrenada gave me orders that we were to leave on a flight early in the morning…at 4 a.m. to be exact," Zechs stated, obviously as baffled as she was.

"Why would he-" but Noin was stopped short by Zechs interrupting her.

"He wants to split us up," he told her.

Split them up?

"Why would he…"

"Why do you think?" he asked sharply, his gaze cutting into hers, "C'mon, Noin, you're smart figure it out. He doesn't want our friendship to get in the way of our duties. Soldiers of His Excellency should serve him and him alone."

"That's not fair!" Noin cried dubiously.

"Dammit, Lucrezia, I never said it was fair!" he said, not meaning to sound rude. Neither liked the idea of separation, but they were soldiers. What could they do? Noin took an involuntary step back from his harsh tone. The idea of staying by herself was frightening, though she was tentative to admit it. She would be really on her own then. No parents…no friends.

"Are you going to go?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"I have to," Zechs said, "if I didn't I would be going against orders. We could get court marshaled." Zechs didn't know why the thought of leaving alone worried him so much. He had been on his own since he was a child, and now that he was an older teen it shouldn't be any different. Why didn't he want to leave Noin?

To his immense relief, the raven-haired teen nodded in understanding.

"Do you think we'll meet again?" she asked, innocent violet eyes rising to meet his. But Zechs knew that by the time the war ended, she would have lost what little childish innocence she possessed.

Zechs wanted to tell her that of course they'd see each other again. Of course they'd meet up after the wars and talk about old times. They'd remain best friends until the day they die. But Zechs didn't know. The war claimed lives; it claimed souls. What was there to insure that his soul wouldn't be lost, or that he wouldn't make the ultimate sacrifice for whatever cause he was fighting for? The truth was, there was no telling what would happen, and Zechs couldn't bring himself to tell Noin that they may never meet again.

And, dammit, when had he gotten so attached anyway?

Before Noin could stop herself, she latched her arms around his waist, ramming into him with a fierce hug. Zechs put his arms around her instinctively, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Bye, Zechs," Noin said with a light kiss on his cheek, and went to pull out of his embrace.

But his arms didn't relinquish their hold, and he held her close to him trying to ensure that she really was there. He had never been close to a girl, a person, like he was with Lucrezia. Thinking about life after the war wasn't helping either, he couldn't picture himself with anyone else. He would be leaving behind what he had grown so accustomed to. He had lost all hope of love after the war, but Noin had restored some of his lost humanity, but it may be lost in the battles.

Live life to each moment, he had once been told. Reason be damned.

Bringing his face down to Noin's, Zechs pressed his lips gently on hers, his actions hesitant and gentle but the feeling in them were that of a starving man.

Noin's body stiffened as she felt Zechs's lips on hers, and she nearly froze on the spot before her senses kicked in. Wrapping her arms around him once again, she found herself kissing him back, though not as softly as he had. She realized that she would never see him again, and the sudden realization that he might mean more to her than she originally perceived was overwhelming. But who better to fall for, then your best friend who you loved more than life itself?

"I'm going to survive," Zechs murmured against her lips, "I'm going to come back after the war."

Noin clutched onto Zechs's upper arms to keep her knees from buckling underneath her.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she told him, leaning into kiss him again but was stopped when he turned his head.

"But I-I want to come back," Zechs replied, then licked his lips hesitantly, "When I survive…will you wait for me?"

Noin's kiss-swollen lips turned upward in a smile, and her deep violet eyes were truly happy, if for this one moment.

"That's a promise I can keep," she said. And this time, it was Zechs who leaned in to steal another kiss.

This time, however, hesitance was thrown to the wind. At a time when two people who have grown so close together, and then must face the fact that they may never see each other again, the two are made painfully aware of just how alone they are, and just how cold this war really was. But, soldiers never really had a choice in the wars. They fought for their respective sides, but never knew exactly where things were headed. They were expected to take things head-on without questions.

People never really understood how much each soldier went through. Each and every single soldier that died had a life and a home that they could go back to. And each soldier was killed off without a second thought. Lives, loves and careers were not even considered in this cold war, and people were either "casualties" or "civilians." They were regarded as inhuman, nothing more than mobile dolls. Expected to fight with a robotic-like obedience and skill. They were not thought to have feelings, hearts or lives outside of what they were fighting for. And really, what were some of them fighting for?

Was this war really worth all of the worthless deaths it issued forth? If you can automatically assume that something is going to waste thousands of lives, is it really worth it to go through with it? If you can guarantee death, than is it all a miscalculation. (Battles that risk men's' lives are miscalculations…) <a/n: episode 4 I think>

<I'll be forever thankful, baby>

And in each soldier were so many hopes, so many dreams, and so many expectations that are all stopped cold when the battles begin. Once caught up in OZ men may as well kiss their lives goodbye. Their lives, and deaths, were sole property of OZ whether they knew it or not. When they say, "When I come back," they are really thinking, "If I come back." And so many hearts were broken with these hopes that are burnt in the white-hot fires of Hell. Anything that can take away so many lives so easily, kill so many souls so simply and break so many hearts can't be anything less than Hell itself.

Yes, each lost life is a lost soul; a part of humanity itself is lost. That person may have held the solution to world hunger, had a cure for AIDS. Who knows? Truthfully, no one ever will know. The persons hopes, expectations and possible accomplishments are lost in this hell that we call war. And that person could have been so much but, gods, they can only do so much to help themselves and selling their souls to the fight won't help them.

<You're the one who helped me up>

The worst part of it was the soldiers did this on their own. They didn't have someone to lean upon when things got rough, and they didn't have someone to share their hopes and dreams that were slowly slipping away. They were slowly slipping out of reach to the oblivion of the men, and soon they would be gone completely. Too late to be re-obtained, they would realize their absence, and never have another chance.

Terrible? Yes.

Fair? No.

But did that stop any of this from happening?

No. Every time a new recruit lost innocence, every time a soldier lost the will to live, they were thrown farther into a war none of them could fully comprehend. It was and endless cycle that kept the war alive. Recruit, instruct, die. Those who survived the battles did not wish to live anyway. They had thrown their hopes and lives to the wind when they had joined the fight, and when their comrades left them behind they were utterly lost. Lost in the world of civilians that they would never be able to join in once again.

But hey, no one said it was fair. And as Zechs left Noin's dorm that night, he didn't expect to return. He wanted to die fighting like his father had died for peace. No longer the innocent prince Milliardo, Zechs wanted to fight and die with the blood of his father's murders tainting his hands. He had escaped death in Cinq, he didn't intend to escape again.

Noin understood this undercurrent of thoughts he wouldn't speak aloud. He had said he would come back, but words are cheap and promises are easily broken. And that was why Noin was so reluctant and so depressed.

Zechs didn't plan on coming back.

Noin frowned at the unfairness of this statement. He was leaving her with nothing. What would she have if she didn't have him anymore? Nothing.

But hey, no one said life was fair.

<You're the one who saw me through, through it all>

As Zechs sat in bed waiting for morning when he would be leaving, he thought of the enormity of what he was planning. He wasn't afraid of dying, but he was afraid of leaving Noin behind on her own. It really wasn't fair to her…

But hey, no one said life was fair.

A/N: I don't own any of the song lyrics for Celine Dion's song "Because You Loved Me." I am soooooooo sorry this chapter was so sappy-ish. I started out writing it not intending the sap level to reach this extremity. Please forgive me.

Oh yeah, and please review!!!!!!

Luvvies, KaT aka Mistress Shinigami