Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Winter Wonderland ❯ Prologue

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Title: Winter Wonderland
Author: Vinyl Koneko (Emily), roguegirl@att.net
Rating: PG
Warnings: shonen/shojo ai, self-insertion, voyuerism (yes...in a PG fic...), mild Relena bashing
Archive: Want it? Take it. Just give me credit, please.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. If I did...well...I'd probably end up getting sued violating some personal right granted by law. 'Course that wouldn't count if I jumped ship to another country *with* no laws, now would it? Hmm... Well, they aren't mine, so don't worry about it. Neither is this song, for that matter. I don't know who does own Winter Wonderland, but it sure as hell isn't me.
Comments: I was in a strange mood. Needed something vaguely entertaining. This is what ensued forth. /Lyrics/ and *emphasis* and -=actions=- will be demonstrated accordingly. It might be extremely lame, actually, but ya know... I'm not good at being funny on purpose. ^_~

*~**~*

/Sleigh bells ring,
are you listening?/

Heero: -=listens=- What the *hell* is that tinkling sound?
Emily: Sleigh bells, now shush.
Wufei: Onna, we can't listen with you talking!
Emily: -=gives Wu' an obscene gesture before leaving but can't say what she did because it's a PG fic=-
Wufei: -=snort=- Good riddance. -=anvil falls out of hammerspace and conks Wufei out=-

/In the lane,
snow is glistening./

Duo: -=scratches head=- Why's the snow only glistening in the lane? I are the streets, avenues, highways, circles, jug handles, alleys, freeways, and toll roads *not* good enough for glistening snow? Not to mention the parkways and the boardwalks...

/A beautiful sight,
we're happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland./

Wufei: -=whispering and holding binoculars up to his eyes=- Maxwell, I can't believe you talked me into this.
Duo: -=holding his own pair of binoculars=- Well, you're entertained, aren't you?
Heero: Hn.
Wufei: I doubt Trowa and Quatre would be happy if they knew we were watching them, well... -=starts to turn pink=- How can he *bend* that way! -=adjusts the focus=-
Duo: -=giggles=- Look, I created a monster! -=returns back to look through the window=- Oh, man...ouch... Is that even anatomically possible?
Heero: -=rolls eyes=- It isn't that difficult.
Wufei: O.o
Duo: Honto ni? -=seductively=- Then how about we go join them?
Heero: -=deadpan=- I don't want to play Twister.

/Gone away is the bluebird.
Here to stay is a new bird./

Duo: -=running with his hands over his ears=- What the fudgicles is that!?
Heero: -=also running very quickly with his hands over his ears=- Just don't look back.
Relena: HEEEEEEEEEEEE~ROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COME AND KIIIIIIIILL MEEEEEE!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEE~ROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Dorothy: Relena-sama, if you want to catch him, you need to go about things the right way. -=reaches into hammerspace and pulls out a gigantic net more commonly used for fishing tuna=-
Heero: -=caught in the net=- Mission failed.
Duo: -=also caught in the net=- Eep!
Relena: -=eyes become big hearts=-
Heero: -=closes his eyes and hopes for a quick and painless death=-

/He sings a love song
as we go along.
Walking in a winter wonderland./

Heero: -=braces for the worst of Relena's onslaughts=-
Relena: -=still has big, pink, throbbing hearts for eyes=- Sugoi! -=glomps...Dorothy=-
Duo: -=confused=- What the f*ck? HEY! Why isn't Relena molesting Heero? Why is she, uh, playing hockey of the tonsil variety with Dorothy instead? And why and I being f*cking bleaped for any expletive other than hell!

/In the meadow we can build a snowman.
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown./

Hilde: -=building snowman=-
Catherine: -=looks at it for a moment=- Does he look like Parson Brown to you?
Hilde: ...
Catherine: He *does*! Hello, Parson Brown, how are you feeling today? My you look a little pale...
Hilde: -=thinking=- Who the hell is Parson Brown?

/He'll say, "Are you married?"
We'll say, "No man,
but you can do the job
when you're in town."/

Snowman: Are you married?
Everyone: -=blinkblink=-
Snowman: All right, whoop-de-doo, I'm a friggin' talking snowman! Isn't that amazing! Now, somebody answer my d*mn question before I f*cking blow someone's sh*t-faced head off!
Everyone: -=slowly backs away from the snowman=-
Snowman: Hey, where are you going? I never said you could go anywhere! That's it; you're all going down! -=wields the broomstick that Hilde and Catherine had given the snowman=- Who wants a piece of me now, huhhuhhuh?
Wufei: -=pulls out a mini-blowtorch and turns the insane pile of crystallized ice into a puddle in half a second=-

/Later on
we'll conspire
as we dream by the fire
to face unafraid
the plans that we've made.
Walking in a winter wonderland./

Wufei: Right hand green.
Trowa: -=places his right hand on the nearest available green space=-
Wufei: Left foot blue.
Quatre: -=places his left foot on the nearest available blue space=-
Wufei: Right foot yellow.
Heero: -=places his right foot on the nearest available yellow space=-
Wufei: Left hand red.
Duo: -=places his left hand on the nearest available red space but falls when he realizes which part of Heero's anatomy that position puts his face near=-
Fire: Roar. Roar. Roar. [1]
Duo: -=mind does a swan dive into the gutter, conspiring how they could later end up in that position again=-

/In the meadow we can build a snowman
and pretend that he's a circus clown.
We'll have lots of fun with Mister Snowman
until the alligators knock him down./

Trowa: -=standing in the middle of a pile of snow=- I don't understand why I'm here.
Quatre: We're making a snow*man*, Trowa. You need to provide the main framework.
Duo: Ya know, Q, there's really less work involved, but oooookaaay. -=watches as Quatre attempts to mold snow around Trowa's body...eventually succeeding and leaving the Heavyarms pilot's head sticking out=-
Quatre: -=giggles as he sculpts a clownsuit into the snow=- There!
Duo: -=scratches head=- Like I said before, Q, oooookaaay.
Alligators: -=licking lips=- Yum yum!
Trowa: -=eyes widen=- Eep!

/When it snows
ain't it thrilling
though your nose gets a chilling?/

Heero: -=sneezes=-
Duo: -=sneezes=-
Quatre: -=sneezes=-
Trowa: -=sneezes=-
Wufei: -=sneezes=-
Relena: -=sneezes=-
Dorothy: -=sneezes=-
Catherine: -=sneezes=-
Hilde: -=sneezes=-
Emily: -=laughs=-

/We'll frolic and play
the Eskimo way./

Heero: -=makes a snow angel, gets up, looks at it, and starts modifying it to look like Wing ZERO Custom=-
Duo: -=makes a snow angel, gets up, looks at it, and starts modifying it to look like Deathscythe Hell Custom=-
Trowa: -=makes a snow angel, gets up, looks at it, and starts modifying it to look like Quatre, but realizes that there was no way he could successfully accomplish that=-
Quatre: -=cuddled in a pack of huskies because there is no way in hell he's going to roll around in the cold snow=-
Wufei: -=makes a snow angel, gets up, looks at it, and starts modifying it to look like Nataku=-
Relena: -=gets sick of everything looking so *white* so she gets some pink lemonade flavored Kool Aid and starts dying the surrounding snow pink=-
Duo: -=wonders if throwing up in the snow would enhance the nauseating pink=-
Dorothy: -=starts balling up snow and chucking it at various people=-
Quatre: Hey, OW! There was *ice* in that one!
Catherine: -=starts using various neighborhood snowmen as target practice, leaving the neighborhood children unsure over whether they should cry for their snowy friends or applaud at Catherine's knife-throwing finesse=-
Hilde: -=starts making a little igloo complete with a little kitchen, dining room, bedroom, and bathroom=-
Emily: -=wonders if the d*mn song is over yet=-

/Walking in a winter wonderland.
Walking in a winter wonderland.
Walking in a winter wonderland./

Everyone: -=gets sick of being stuck in a "winter wonderland" so goes online and books next flight to Hawaii and other places that are extremely warm at the end of December=-
Duo: -=remembers previous conspiracy=- Hey Hee~ro... Whatcha doin'?

*~**~*

Owari

[1] It's a roaring fire. Get it? Get it!?