Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Witches Shoe ❯ Chapter 6
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: deathangel125 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Romance / Suspense | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 12.26.2015 | Pages: 7 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 310 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Romance / Suspense | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 12.26.2015 | Pages: 7 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 310 | Status: Work In Progress
Warnings and disclaimers in first section. Don’t forget
to look or you might get a surprise or three!
After a tearful goodbye from Layla, we finally got to leave about two hours after signing the papers that made my ship our ship. Trowa managed to charm Layla by complimenting the meal more than once, sincerely I might add, saying that it was the best meal he had had for dinner in a long time. We had skipped lunch and that could be why he thought the food was so good; Layla’s cooking is horrible.
Carrying a bag one of my contacts had left with the Asher’s, the second reason we had needed to make the trip to Strauss, we crossed back into what I term the sex zone. The difference from earlier was instantly visible, many more people present, owners with slaves and unclaimed slaves prowling the same areas either alone or in groups. Several people started to approach us, quickly turning away when Trowa made a dismissive gesture, indiscernible from the one I’ve seen other owners make when they want to be left alone.
We made it back to the dock without incident and I was patting myself on the back when one of the Strauss police appeared out of freakin’ nowhere. This wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t known me from a previous trip to the port. Tossing the most harmless look I can fake on my face, I smiled as he approached, his eyes on me. “How are you, sir?”
“Dan? I thought that was you. Been a while since I seen you around these parts. Why don’t you come with me now and you can help me out with a problem I have. We didn’t get any time alone last time you were here because of that Milo guy taking all your time. I’ve been wondering what you can do that would keep a man like that busy for a whole week.” He didn’t even spare Trowa a glance, all his attention focused on the skin that was visible through the holes in my pants and I had a minute to wish I had worn a different pair, but it was too late to worry about it. “That’s a tempting offer, but I’m not a free agent anymore.”
His eyes finally moved to Trowa, giving him an once-over before dismissing him completely. “Yeah, right. You expect me to believe after you had all those other offers, you chose this guy?”
I didn’t know if Trowa’s offended snarl was real or not, but it was believable. “What’s wrong with me?”
Again, the man looked my companion over and dismissed him, “He’s a looker, but not half as pretty as some of the others.”
“He’s good to me.”
“Where’s your proof?” This is where I had to hope Trowa had done a good job on the fake tattoo I was brandishing. I turned around and let him take a look, shrugging when Trowa lifted an eyebrow. His grunt of irritation was definitely not faked as he turned, lifting his shirt to reveal his tattoo. I covered my laugh with my hand when Trowa growled at the man, who was dumb enough to reach out a hand to touch his stars.
This should have satisfied anyone in the port city, but something was bothering this guy. Cops at Strauss are mainly there to keep unclaimed slaves from being eaten alive, so he shouldn’t have been this interested. I guess Trowa realized that, too. “I have a family meeting on L3 in two days that I’d like to arrive at early; a death in the family and reading of the will. We need to leave.”
“I don’t believe you’re his owner.”
On Strauss, saying that to an owner is a challenge. If Trowa backed down, I was gonna get tossed to the wolves with this pain in the ass being first in line. “He is mine. You’ve seen the tattoo that proves it.”
“Tattoos can be faked. I want more proof,” the man said - I still can’t remember his damn name – crossed his arms and stared at Trowa more than me.
Trowa mimicked the pose, looking down his nose at the annoyance standing between us and my…our…ship. He must have been around Quatre a lot, because he had that ‘I’m better than you’ look down pat. “I prefer to have sex without observers.”
“You don’t have to have sex. I don’t think you can even get that far. Owner, my ass. You two don’t even like each other.”
I had already decided to run for it when I realized what the asshole said. It made no sense, but I wanted to know why he thought we didn’t like each other. More specifically, I wanted to know why he thought Trowa didn’t like me. “Why would you say we don’t like each other? That’s crazy.”
“I watched the two of you coming down the street. You walk like an owner and slave, but your bodies are facing away from each other as much as possible. You don’t look at each other when you talk, either. Body language doesn’t lie.”
“There’s another explanation. We could simply prefer to keep what’s between us private. I don’t share and I’m greedy when it comes to my property. I stay away as much as I can or we will give someone a show.”
“Great explanation, if it’s true. Some things can’t be faked. Prove it.”
That would have been a good time to run. We should’ve had enough time to knock out the asshole and get space-bound before someone found him. That was my plan. Apparently, Trowa had a plan of his own, physically turning toward me and sealing his mouth over mine so fast that I couldn’t have evaded. Every nerve I had came to life at that contact, sending a shiver of excitement through me I’m pretty sure he felt.
I expected him to leave it at that brief kiss, but his tongue found mine, his hands skimming over the exposed skin of my back. Feeling him against me was every pleasurable thing I’d ever felt at once and every nightmare I’ve ever had rolled into one. I felt like I’d been pulled inside a tornado and he was the calm in the storm. I was helpless to resist as he pulled me closer, moving me around though I had no idea where we were going.
My question was answered when I was lifted and felt cool metal against my back, pressed between my ship and Trowa’s body. I was already feeling things I couldn’t afford to feel for him, lust being high on the list, but not my most major concern. I had never wanted someone so badly, not even Nico, and it was time to put a stop to this before I forgot what had happened to me then.
If only he hadn’t felt and tasted so damn good, it would’ve been a lot easier.
The sensation of hands on my ass helped me remember where we were and why we were there in the first place. My first attempt to remind him got lost on a moan when he ground our erections together. From the way he felt through the jeans he wore, he was huge. Pushing past lust and…other things that were best left alone until a later date, like when hell froze over, I got a grip on his side and squeezed hard enough to have him jerking his head up to stare at me. A quick look around the area proved we were alone. “He’s gone.”
Dazed green eyes stared at me, “What?”
“The cop. He’s gone. You can let me go now.”
I didn’t miss the way his eyes bored into me, or the look of lust in them. If it had been another situation, I would’ve been happy to oblige, but this was Trowa, someone that had already said he couldn’t have sex without emotion behind it. I wouldn’t have him regretting his decision to stay with me until we could locate Quatre. After that…he would go home and it would become a non-issue.
His fingers flexed several times before he put me down. I scurried away from him, scared I was going to do something really stupid, like try to put thoughts into words. It would be a mistake to do that, a larger mistake than the one I had already made regarding my tall, temporary partner.
Once aboard my Hellion, I stowed the bag in one of the eight smuggler holds on the ship. Told you I had more than one. Trowa was already in the co-pilot seat when I got to the flight deck, silent even though I could feel his eyes on me. There was no time to ask him what was going on and I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know.
A quick conversation with the port crew was all it took before the large inner door behind us opened. Before they could close all the way, we were out and had the course plotted for Koleniko, a long seven-day trip. Thirty minutes after leaving Strauss behind, I was getting worried. Trowa hadn’t said anything and I was terrified to ask him what he was thinking. Since I didn’t want to talk about what happened, I left my seat. I needed to check the supplies that would convince everyone on the Shoe that my purpose for being there was legitimate.
“Who is Milo?”
Damn. Of all the things to ask about, he always managed to find the most painful. Hasn’t Trowa ever heard of personal boundaries? Guess not. “He’s no one.”
“Don’t lie to me anymore. You want me to trust you and do what you tell me to, so stop lying to me, Duo.” He didn’t stand, didn’t turn to face me. He simply sat there and stared out the large glass to the stars beyond.
With anyone else I would have ignored him, refusing to answer the questions no matter what I was threatened with. Something in the way he sat there, however, had me knowing I’d tell him everything he wanted to know. Sitting down in the pilot’s chair, I peeled off my vest and let it dangle from my fingertips. “I’ve never lied to you. I met Milo the last time I went to Strauss. I knew what the place was, but you can’t really understand it until you see it with your own eyes. I was being told I was going with several people at once and had no idea what to do. Next thing I know, this guy breaks through the crowd, takes my hand and pulls me away. Nobody even dared to follow us. I stayed with him the whole week I was on the colony. He’s the one that taught me all the little details of the owner/slave relationship and he stayed with me when I went out to talk to people so everyone would know I was still with him.”
“You never had sex with a bunch of people, as you let me believe.”
“What difference does it make?”
“Why didn’t you go see Milo while we were there? Are you afraid you might feel something for him?”
“He’s dead, Trowa. He died less than a month after I left. I didn’t sleep with him, not once. He just wanted someone to spend some time with before he died. He had an inoperable brain tumor and the doctors said it would only be a matter of time before he died. They were right.”
“You stayed with him for a week and didn’t have sex. What did you do the entire time, talk?”
His disbelief didn’t help my mood any. I had liked Milo, damnit. Leaving when I knew I wouldn’t see him again had been painful as hell. Reliving that time is still painful. “That’s exactly what I did. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
I had the contents of the bag spread across my bunk when I felt the need to throw something. It’s a handy outlet for anger unless you’re on a ship where everything is bolted down or stored away. I didn’t have anything to sling, so I did the next best thing. I beat the shit out of the metal wall beside my bed. How’s that for smart?
It started with one punch, then two. Next thing I knew, Trowa was holding me against his chest and my hands were screaming in agony, especially the one Allbright stomped on for me. It was horrifying to discover I was crying, and not just a quiet cry, either. Sobs tore their way from my throat, coming from deep inside of me, where my self-hatred resides.
Thankfully, it only took a minute or two for me to get a grip and push away from him, only to be pulled roughly back. “Let me tend your hands, Duo.”
One look told me it needed to be done, but I was wary, remembering how he had drugged me before. My reluctance was evident and he sighed, “I promised, Duo, no drugs, not ever again.”
I stayed quiet as I was guided gently to sit on the bed, observing my hands with a critical eye. “I did a number on them, didn’t I?”
“I don’t think anything is broken, but I don’t see how. Will you tell me why you were fighting a piece of metal?”
“If I don’t, you’ll just harass me until I tell you anyway,” I muttered, looking away as he began to wrap gauze around my hands in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “I don’t like answering personal questions because it makes me think. I don’t like thinking about the past. Milo was a nice guy. I was…fond of him.”
“You had feelings for him.”
“Not sexual. He was like a close friend, someone I could talk to about anything. It hurt when I heard of his death.”
“I don’t mean to make you think of things that make you sad, Duo. I don’t understand you, so I ask questions so I can understand you.” Sitting back on his heels, he looked up at me, hands grasping my wrists. “You confuse me. You say you don’t care but you’re willing to put yourself in danger to help Quatre without a thought even though you haven’t seen each other in years.”
What the hell was he doing? Was he trying to prove I was a good person? I’m not…I’m no good at all. Hell, I’m a smuggler, doesn’t that say enough? “He’d do the same and don’t forget, I’m getting paid to help him. I’m the only one that can get to the Shoe. It’s not such a big deal.”
“It is. I have no idea what kind of dangers are in store for us, but I know I wouldn’t have a chance unless you were with me. As far the money goes, you’d do this for free. You could have gone alone or set me out, but you didn’t. That tells me you do care, whether you want to or not.”
“I never said I didn’t care about my friends,” I corrected him with a smirk. “I said I didn’t have emotions tied into sex. There is a difference. Want me to show you?”
“Duo, that kiss…”
“Did exactly what it was supposed to and fooled that damn cop. That was all.” It was a damn lie, one of the only ones I’ve told in my entire life. I knew it, he knew it, and I didn’t want him to talk about it.
“It did more than that and you know it.”
I gave him an annoyed look that he just blinked at and then waved a bandaged hand over the jewelry spread across the bed. “What do you think? Beautiful, aren’t they?”
“Why can’t you admit you feel something?”
Damn man needed to learn how to let shit go. “I feel a lot of things and nothing I feel makes a damn bit of difference. What’s the point of going over how I feel all the fucking time? Feelings don’t change a damn thing.”
“I try to get you to tell me about how you feel so I know how to react. I’ve never met anyone that will say they feel nothing, only to do something that denies what they’ve just said. You confuse me.”
“I confuse myself. You shouldn’t feel special or anything.” I shouldn’t have thought he was special, and I sure as hell shouldn’t have been thinking about that kiss, but I was. I needed to keep him from asking more questions, “I need to get out of these pants. They’re starting to cut off my air.”
“And?”
“I can’t do that until you move.” I looked at him and realized it was a mistake, the worst one I had made so far regarding Trowa.
The instant I looked at him, his mouth was over mine, stealing the little breath I had pulled into my lungs. Damn him. Damn me. My body reacted all on its own, my mouth opening and my tongue twisting with his. I really had hoped my first reaction was just because I had been celibate for a long time, but that wasn’t it. Every nerve in my body went from sleeping to alive in the space of a breath and I was craving his touch.
I could handle that. Sex really never has meant anything to me. It’s pleasure, pure and simple. What I can’t handle is the all-consuming need to be possessed by Trowa…forever. That was the word banging around in my battered brain as I jerked away from him. “Don’t do that again.” It was horrifying to hear how my voice shook and I could tell from the way his eyes narrowed that he heard it, too. “Don’t, Trowa.” I repeated, firmer.
It didn’t stop him from leaning forward to trace my lips with his tongue, pulling a startled moan from me. I really, really should have taken Heero. He might have gotten me killed, but I was afraid I was gonna die from the permanent erection every time I recalled that moment. I actually think I was doing a fairly good job of ignoring what he was doing until his hands were suddenly on my cock, pressing against the leather. When I gasped he invaded my mouth again. Determined not to respond in any way, I kept my hands on the bed, applying pressure so I could focus on the pain. I didn’t count on Trowa being so damn talented with his tongue. If Quatre actually had been teaching him chess behind locked doors, he missed out. Against my will my mouth moved with his, drawing his tongue into my mouth and sucking on it lightly. His surprised gasp helped me realize what the hell I was doing and I moved away fast. I can tell you that if anyone says you can’t move in a hurry while wearing tight leather has never had the right incentive.
By the time he growled his displeasure, there’s a sound to get the juices flowing, I was pressed up against the metal wall on the other side of the bed. It didn’t give me anywhere to go if he came after me, but I was hoping like hell he wouldn’t. A few more kisses like that one and I would have forgotten my vow not to get mixed up with him and that’s something I couldn’t afford if I wanted to end the assignment with my heart still intact.
“You said you’d have sex with me if I changed my mind.”
My poor body was already in high gear and the raspy sound of his voice wasn’t helping. “Sex with no strings. That isn’t what you want.”
“It’s a start.”
“It’s not gonna happen, so back off.”
“Why not? You don’t have to make a commitment to me, Duo. I understand you don’t want to.”
He didn’t understand a damn thing. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to make a commitment that kept me from doing what my body was screaming for, it was because that commitment would have been all too easy to make. “I don’t want to…” Holy hell, I had almost admitted I didn’t want to be hurt again when he left. “I won’t do that to you,” I said quickly, seeing his eyes widen slightly.
“You have feelings for me.”
“Friendship. You’re one of the few people I can call friend, Trowa. That’s why I won’t sleep with you.”
“You didn’t mind the idea a few days ago.” He stood and moved away from the bed, still watching me with those damn eyes of his.
Scooting to the edge of the bed, I stood, too. It wasn’t a good idea to be on the bed when every fiber of my body was begging for another touch. “That was before I realized we actually have a chance of staying alive once we reach the Shoe. I kinda figured you were here and I wanted to have sex at least one more time before I died.” It wasn’t a total lie, so I didn’t feel guilty for saying it.
It took a minute for me to feel safe enough to look away from him. He was all the way across the room and I swear those pants got tighter with every second. When his hands were suddenly on the laces of my pants, I decided I’d never be safe as long as we’re in the same room. “What the hell are you doing?”
He had the damn nerve to smirk at me. If I’d had enough breath and my hands hadn’t been aching, I’d have punched him in the nose like I did Heero. Awww, who am I kidding? That smirk was hot as hell and it made me want to do a lot of things. Punching him wasn’t even on that list. “Your hands are bandaged, Duo. You can’t untie these. Sit on the bed so I can take off your boots.”
Realizing he was right didn’t make me feel better, but I sat down and watched him, wishing I hadn’t when he crouched down again, his head way to close to my erection to keep me from imagining how it would have felt if he wrapped that oh-so-talented tongue around it. A vivid imagination is not the best thing to have when someone that damn sexy is that close.
He did actually take my boots off then urged me to stand, still kneeling in front of me. The sensation of fingers across my bared skin had me biting my tongue to keep from groaning. You know you’re in a shitload of trouble when you start to ask yourself why you’re fighting against what you want and I was already beginning to think of a few reasons to give in when the first of the laces was released. The ability to breathe a little better was welcome until I felt a hot mouth on my hip, branding my damn skin like it was on fire. “Trowa, just get the damn pants unlaced.”
“That’s what I’m doing.”
I was already forming an argument when the last lace came loose, then I lost the ability to think when he worked the damn leather down my thighs. Running like hell was my best option and I couldn’t because my pants were around my knees, effectively trapping me. All of my threats died when he swallowed my erection, my eyes rolling back in my head. My poor knees decided they couldn’t take the strain and I pretty much collapsed on my bed, somehow missing the jewelry spread out there. Feeling my pants finally disappear, I pulled my tongue out of my throat. “Trowa, stop!”
He was over me all of a sudden, his eyes wild. It was a side of him I had never seen and it was scary and exhilarating to know I had done this to him, sort of. “I’ll stop if I get to be inside you.”
I have a lot of willpower. If I refuse to do something, that’s all there is to it. With those simple words I lost whatever willpower I had to stop him. I gave up a damn good fight. Could anyone else last as long as I did without giving in? “It can’t mean anything.”
“For now, I can accept that.” While he said this he was already pulling me to the floor, my legs over his, straddling him.
“Massage oil, there,” I pointed to a cabinet, hissing when he stretched and opened it, not the least bit hindered by the clasps that kept it latched. He didn’t bat an eye at the plethora of skin mags lying under the oil; it’s a well-known fact people that live in space have to occupy themselves somehow and masturbation is as good a way as any, in my opinion.
After a tearful goodbye from Layla, we finally got to leave about two hours after signing the papers that made my ship our ship. Trowa managed to charm Layla by complimenting the meal more than once, sincerely I might add, saying that it was the best meal he had had for dinner in a long time. We had skipped lunch and that could be why he thought the food was so good; Layla’s cooking is horrible.
Carrying a bag one of my contacts had left with the Asher’s, the second reason we had needed to make the trip to Strauss, we crossed back into what I term the sex zone. The difference from earlier was instantly visible, many more people present, owners with slaves and unclaimed slaves prowling the same areas either alone or in groups. Several people started to approach us, quickly turning away when Trowa made a dismissive gesture, indiscernible from the one I’ve seen other owners make when they want to be left alone.
We made it back to the dock without incident and I was patting myself on the back when one of the Strauss police appeared out of freakin’ nowhere. This wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t known me from a previous trip to the port. Tossing the most harmless look I can fake on my face, I smiled as he approached, his eyes on me. “How are you, sir?”
“Dan? I thought that was you. Been a while since I seen you around these parts. Why don’t you come with me now and you can help me out with a problem I have. We didn’t get any time alone last time you were here because of that Milo guy taking all your time. I’ve been wondering what you can do that would keep a man like that busy for a whole week.” He didn’t even spare Trowa a glance, all his attention focused on the skin that was visible through the holes in my pants and I had a minute to wish I had worn a different pair, but it was too late to worry about it. “That’s a tempting offer, but I’m not a free agent anymore.”
His eyes finally moved to Trowa, giving him an once-over before dismissing him completely. “Yeah, right. You expect me to believe after you had all those other offers, you chose this guy?”
I didn’t know if Trowa’s offended snarl was real or not, but it was believable. “What’s wrong with me?”
Again, the man looked my companion over and dismissed him, “He’s a looker, but not half as pretty as some of the others.”
“He’s good to me.”
“Where’s your proof?” This is where I had to hope Trowa had done a good job on the fake tattoo I was brandishing. I turned around and let him take a look, shrugging when Trowa lifted an eyebrow. His grunt of irritation was definitely not faked as he turned, lifting his shirt to reveal his tattoo. I covered my laugh with my hand when Trowa growled at the man, who was dumb enough to reach out a hand to touch his stars.
This should have satisfied anyone in the port city, but something was bothering this guy. Cops at Strauss are mainly there to keep unclaimed slaves from being eaten alive, so he shouldn’t have been this interested. I guess Trowa realized that, too. “I have a family meeting on L3 in two days that I’d like to arrive at early; a death in the family and reading of the will. We need to leave.”
“I don’t believe you’re his owner.”
On Strauss, saying that to an owner is a challenge. If Trowa backed down, I was gonna get tossed to the wolves with this pain in the ass being first in line. “He is mine. You’ve seen the tattoo that proves it.”
“Tattoos can be faked. I want more proof,” the man said - I still can’t remember his damn name – crossed his arms and stared at Trowa more than me.
Trowa mimicked the pose, looking down his nose at the annoyance standing between us and my…our…ship. He must have been around Quatre a lot, because he had that ‘I’m better than you’ look down pat. “I prefer to have sex without observers.”
“You don’t have to have sex. I don’t think you can even get that far. Owner, my ass. You two don’t even like each other.”
I had already decided to run for it when I realized what the asshole said. It made no sense, but I wanted to know why he thought we didn’t like each other. More specifically, I wanted to know why he thought Trowa didn’t like me. “Why would you say we don’t like each other? That’s crazy.”
“I watched the two of you coming down the street. You walk like an owner and slave, but your bodies are facing away from each other as much as possible. You don’t look at each other when you talk, either. Body language doesn’t lie.”
“There’s another explanation. We could simply prefer to keep what’s between us private. I don’t share and I’m greedy when it comes to my property. I stay away as much as I can or we will give someone a show.”
“Great explanation, if it’s true. Some things can’t be faked. Prove it.”
That would have been a good time to run. We should’ve had enough time to knock out the asshole and get space-bound before someone found him. That was my plan. Apparently, Trowa had a plan of his own, physically turning toward me and sealing his mouth over mine so fast that I couldn’t have evaded. Every nerve I had came to life at that contact, sending a shiver of excitement through me I’m pretty sure he felt.
I expected him to leave it at that brief kiss, but his tongue found mine, his hands skimming over the exposed skin of my back. Feeling him against me was every pleasurable thing I’d ever felt at once and every nightmare I’ve ever had rolled into one. I felt like I’d been pulled inside a tornado and he was the calm in the storm. I was helpless to resist as he pulled me closer, moving me around though I had no idea where we were going.
My question was answered when I was lifted and felt cool metal against my back, pressed between my ship and Trowa’s body. I was already feeling things I couldn’t afford to feel for him, lust being high on the list, but not my most major concern. I had never wanted someone so badly, not even Nico, and it was time to put a stop to this before I forgot what had happened to me then.
If only he hadn’t felt and tasted so damn good, it would’ve been a lot easier.
The sensation of hands on my ass helped me remember where we were and why we were there in the first place. My first attempt to remind him got lost on a moan when he ground our erections together. From the way he felt through the jeans he wore, he was huge. Pushing past lust and…other things that were best left alone until a later date, like when hell froze over, I got a grip on his side and squeezed hard enough to have him jerking his head up to stare at me. A quick look around the area proved we were alone. “He’s gone.”
Dazed green eyes stared at me, “What?”
“The cop. He’s gone. You can let me go now.”
I didn’t miss the way his eyes bored into me, or the look of lust in them. If it had been another situation, I would’ve been happy to oblige, but this was Trowa, someone that had already said he couldn’t have sex without emotion behind it. I wouldn’t have him regretting his decision to stay with me until we could locate Quatre. After that…he would go home and it would become a non-issue.
His fingers flexed several times before he put me down. I scurried away from him, scared I was going to do something really stupid, like try to put thoughts into words. It would be a mistake to do that, a larger mistake than the one I had already made regarding my tall, temporary partner.
Once aboard my Hellion, I stowed the bag in one of the eight smuggler holds on the ship. Told you I had more than one. Trowa was already in the co-pilot seat when I got to the flight deck, silent even though I could feel his eyes on me. There was no time to ask him what was going on and I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know.
A quick conversation with the port crew was all it took before the large inner door behind us opened. Before they could close all the way, we were out and had the course plotted for Koleniko, a long seven-day trip. Thirty minutes after leaving Strauss behind, I was getting worried. Trowa hadn’t said anything and I was terrified to ask him what he was thinking. Since I didn’t want to talk about what happened, I left my seat. I needed to check the supplies that would convince everyone on the Shoe that my purpose for being there was legitimate.
“Who is Milo?”
Damn. Of all the things to ask about, he always managed to find the most painful. Hasn’t Trowa ever heard of personal boundaries? Guess not. “He’s no one.”
“Don’t lie to me anymore. You want me to trust you and do what you tell me to, so stop lying to me, Duo.” He didn’t stand, didn’t turn to face me. He simply sat there and stared out the large glass to the stars beyond.
With anyone else I would have ignored him, refusing to answer the questions no matter what I was threatened with. Something in the way he sat there, however, had me knowing I’d tell him everything he wanted to know. Sitting down in the pilot’s chair, I peeled off my vest and let it dangle from my fingertips. “I’ve never lied to you. I met Milo the last time I went to Strauss. I knew what the place was, but you can’t really understand it until you see it with your own eyes. I was being told I was going with several people at once and had no idea what to do. Next thing I know, this guy breaks through the crowd, takes my hand and pulls me away. Nobody even dared to follow us. I stayed with him the whole week I was on the colony. He’s the one that taught me all the little details of the owner/slave relationship and he stayed with me when I went out to talk to people so everyone would know I was still with him.”
“You never had sex with a bunch of people, as you let me believe.”
“What difference does it make?”
“Why didn’t you go see Milo while we were there? Are you afraid you might feel something for him?”
“He’s dead, Trowa. He died less than a month after I left. I didn’t sleep with him, not once. He just wanted someone to spend some time with before he died. He had an inoperable brain tumor and the doctors said it would only be a matter of time before he died. They were right.”
“You stayed with him for a week and didn’t have sex. What did you do the entire time, talk?”
His disbelief didn’t help my mood any. I had liked Milo, damnit. Leaving when I knew I wouldn’t see him again had been painful as hell. Reliving that time is still painful. “That’s exactly what I did. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
I had the contents of the bag spread across my bunk when I felt the need to throw something. It’s a handy outlet for anger unless you’re on a ship where everything is bolted down or stored away. I didn’t have anything to sling, so I did the next best thing. I beat the shit out of the metal wall beside my bed. How’s that for smart?
It started with one punch, then two. Next thing I knew, Trowa was holding me against his chest and my hands were screaming in agony, especially the one Allbright stomped on for me. It was horrifying to discover I was crying, and not just a quiet cry, either. Sobs tore their way from my throat, coming from deep inside of me, where my self-hatred resides.
Thankfully, it only took a minute or two for me to get a grip and push away from him, only to be pulled roughly back. “Let me tend your hands, Duo.”
One look told me it needed to be done, but I was wary, remembering how he had drugged me before. My reluctance was evident and he sighed, “I promised, Duo, no drugs, not ever again.”
I stayed quiet as I was guided gently to sit on the bed, observing my hands with a critical eye. “I did a number on them, didn’t I?”
“I don’t think anything is broken, but I don’t see how. Will you tell me why you were fighting a piece of metal?”
“If I don’t, you’ll just harass me until I tell you anyway,” I muttered, looking away as he began to wrap gauze around my hands in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “I don’t like answering personal questions because it makes me think. I don’t like thinking about the past. Milo was a nice guy. I was…fond of him.”
“You had feelings for him.”
“Not sexual. He was like a close friend, someone I could talk to about anything. It hurt when I heard of his death.”
“I don’t mean to make you think of things that make you sad, Duo. I don’t understand you, so I ask questions so I can understand you.” Sitting back on his heels, he looked up at me, hands grasping my wrists. “You confuse me. You say you don’t care but you’re willing to put yourself in danger to help Quatre without a thought even though you haven’t seen each other in years.”
What the hell was he doing? Was he trying to prove I was a good person? I’m not…I’m no good at all. Hell, I’m a smuggler, doesn’t that say enough? “He’d do the same and don’t forget, I’m getting paid to help him. I’m the only one that can get to the Shoe. It’s not such a big deal.”
“It is. I have no idea what kind of dangers are in store for us, but I know I wouldn’t have a chance unless you were with me. As far the money goes, you’d do this for free. You could have gone alone or set me out, but you didn’t. That tells me you do care, whether you want to or not.”
“I never said I didn’t care about my friends,” I corrected him with a smirk. “I said I didn’t have emotions tied into sex. There is a difference. Want me to show you?”
“Duo, that kiss…”
“Did exactly what it was supposed to and fooled that damn cop. That was all.” It was a damn lie, one of the only ones I’ve told in my entire life. I knew it, he knew it, and I didn’t want him to talk about it.
“It did more than that and you know it.”
I gave him an annoyed look that he just blinked at and then waved a bandaged hand over the jewelry spread across the bed. “What do you think? Beautiful, aren’t they?”
“Why can’t you admit you feel something?”
Damn man needed to learn how to let shit go. “I feel a lot of things and nothing I feel makes a damn bit of difference. What’s the point of going over how I feel all the fucking time? Feelings don’t change a damn thing.”
“I try to get you to tell me about how you feel so I know how to react. I’ve never met anyone that will say they feel nothing, only to do something that denies what they’ve just said. You confuse me.”
“I confuse myself. You shouldn’t feel special or anything.” I shouldn’t have thought he was special, and I sure as hell shouldn’t have been thinking about that kiss, but I was. I needed to keep him from asking more questions, “I need to get out of these pants. They’re starting to cut off my air.”
“And?”
“I can’t do that until you move.” I looked at him and realized it was a mistake, the worst one I had made so far regarding Trowa.
The instant I looked at him, his mouth was over mine, stealing the little breath I had pulled into my lungs. Damn him. Damn me. My body reacted all on its own, my mouth opening and my tongue twisting with his. I really had hoped my first reaction was just because I had been celibate for a long time, but that wasn’t it. Every nerve in my body went from sleeping to alive in the space of a breath and I was craving his touch.
I could handle that. Sex really never has meant anything to me. It’s pleasure, pure and simple. What I can’t handle is the all-consuming need to be possessed by Trowa…forever. That was the word banging around in my battered brain as I jerked away from him. “Don’t do that again.” It was horrifying to hear how my voice shook and I could tell from the way his eyes narrowed that he heard it, too. “Don’t, Trowa.” I repeated, firmer.
It didn’t stop him from leaning forward to trace my lips with his tongue, pulling a startled moan from me. I really, really should have taken Heero. He might have gotten me killed, but I was afraid I was gonna die from the permanent erection every time I recalled that moment. I actually think I was doing a fairly good job of ignoring what he was doing until his hands were suddenly on my cock, pressing against the leather. When I gasped he invaded my mouth again. Determined not to respond in any way, I kept my hands on the bed, applying pressure so I could focus on the pain. I didn’t count on Trowa being so damn talented with his tongue. If Quatre actually had been teaching him chess behind locked doors, he missed out. Against my will my mouth moved with his, drawing his tongue into my mouth and sucking on it lightly. His surprised gasp helped me realize what the hell I was doing and I moved away fast. I can tell you that if anyone says you can’t move in a hurry while wearing tight leather has never had the right incentive.
By the time he growled his displeasure, there’s a sound to get the juices flowing, I was pressed up against the metal wall on the other side of the bed. It didn’t give me anywhere to go if he came after me, but I was hoping like hell he wouldn’t. A few more kisses like that one and I would have forgotten my vow not to get mixed up with him and that’s something I couldn’t afford if I wanted to end the assignment with my heart still intact.
“You said you’d have sex with me if I changed my mind.”
My poor body was already in high gear and the raspy sound of his voice wasn’t helping. “Sex with no strings. That isn’t what you want.”
“It’s a start.”
“It’s not gonna happen, so back off.”
“Why not? You don’t have to make a commitment to me, Duo. I understand you don’t want to.”
He didn’t understand a damn thing. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to make a commitment that kept me from doing what my body was screaming for, it was because that commitment would have been all too easy to make. “I don’t want to…” Holy hell, I had almost admitted I didn’t want to be hurt again when he left. “I won’t do that to you,” I said quickly, seeing his eyes widen slightly.
“You have feelings for me.”
“Friendship. You’re one of the few people I can call friend, Trowa. That’s why I won’t sleep with you.”
“You didn’t mind the idea a few days ago.” He stood and moved away from the bed, still watching me with those damn eyes of his.
Scooting to the edge of the bed, I stood, too. It wasn’t a good idea to be on the bed when every fiber of my body was begging for another touch. “That was before I realized we actually have a chance of staying alive once we reach the Shoe. I kinda figured you were here and I wanted to have sex at least one more time before I died.” It wasn’t a total lie, so I didn’t feel guilty for saying it.
It took a minute for me to feel safe enough to look away from him. He was all the way across the room and I swear those pants got tighter with every second. When his hands were suddenly on the laces of my pants, I decided I’d never be safe as long as we’re in the same room. “What the hell are you doing?”
He had the damn nerve to smirk at me. If I’d had enough breath and my hands hadn’t been aching, I’d have punched him in the nose like I did Heero. Awww, who am I kidding? That smirk was hot as hell and it made me want to do a lot of things. Punching him wasn’t even on that list. “Your hands are bandaged, Duo. You can’t untie these. Sit on the bed so I can take off your boots.”
Realizing he was right didn’t make me feel better, but I sat down and watched him, wishing I hadn’t when he crouched down again, his head way to close to my erection to keep me from imagining how it would have felt if he wrapped that oh-so-talented tongue around it. A vivid imagination is not the best thing to have when someone that damn sexy is that close.
He did actually take my boots off then urged me to stand, still kneeling in front of me. The sensation of fingers across my bared skin had me biting my tongue to keep from groaning. You know you’re in a shitload of trouble when you start to ask yourself why you’re fighting against what you want and I was already beginning to think of a few reasons to give in when the first of the laces was released. The ability to breathe a little better was welcome until I felt a hot mouth on my hip, branding my damn skin like it was on fire. “Trowa, just get the damn pants unlaced.”
“That’s what I’m doing.”
I was already forming an argument when the last lace came loose, then I lost the ability to think when he worked the damn leather down my thighs. Running like hell was my best option and I couldn’t because my pants were around my knees, effectively trapping me. All of my threats died when he swallowed my erection, my eyes rolling back in my head. My poor knees decided they couldn’t take the strain and I pretty much collapsed on my bed, somehow missing the jewelry spread out there. Feeling my pants finally disappear, I pulled my tongue out of my throat. “Trowa, stop!”
He was over me all of a sudden, his eyes wild. It was a side of him I had never seen and it was scary and exhilarating to know I had done this to him, sort of. “I’ll stop if I get to be inside you.”
I have a lot of willpower. If I refuse to do something, that’s all there is to it. With those simple words I lost whatever willpower I had to stop him. I gave up a damn good fight. Could anyone else last as long as I did without giving in? “It can’t mean anything.”
“For now, I can accept that.” While he said this he was already pulling me to the floor, my legs over his, straddling him.
“Massage oil, there,” I pointed to a cabinet, hissing when he stretched and opened it, not the least bit hindered by the clasps that kept it latched. He didn’t bat an eye at the plethora of skin mags lying under the oil; it’s a well-known fact people that live in space have to occupy themselves somehow and masturbation is as good a way as any, in my opinion.