Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Words Never Spoken ❯ One-Shot
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: KentraShinataku02 
Heero just wants to be loved... by the person who can never return his love. (ficlet)
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 07.23.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 713 | Visits: 627 | Status: Completed
Heero just wants to be loved... by the person who can never return his love. (ficlet)
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 07.23.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 713 | Visits: 627 | Status: Completed
Words Never Spoken
2x5 :: 1+2 :: Heero POV :: ficlet
by Kentra Shinataku
__________________
written for trixie
As I watch you two together, I have to wonder why? Why can't that be me? Why can't I find love the way that you did, the way you found happiness in each other, the way I'll never be able to? You have somewhere to go after a mission, someone to lie with in your bed of tears, someone to wrap their arms around you and tell you that you'll be alright. But I don't. I lie awake and wonder when the next mission will come, wonder why I was made this way, wonder why I have to kill. Am I that much different than the two of you? I know you think about those things too, you just have someone to share them with. Lucky you.
You take what you have for granted, Duo. I don't think you realize how much he cares about you, how he'll never let you take one miscalculated step. He's going to be watching out for you for a long time to come. He sees exactly what I see in you, he sees that you're… beautiful. You're beautiful on the inside and the outside. There are so many layers that make you up, Duo, and you've told him. You have told him and not me, and that is killing me. I hate the fact that you run to his arms when you need to be held when mine were open and waiting for you all along. I wanted to be able to hold you, to be able to tell you that you'll be alright. But it's obviously just not in my character. I'm the one who's stuck in 'perfect' mode, the one who obviously isn't capable of showing love. But Duo, if only you knew… if only you knew the love I could show you.
Wufei, I don't think you really can understand how much treasure you carry. I hate you for what you have. Do you realize that I want you dead? Do you realize that during the more restless nights, I stand outside your bedroom door, holding my gun? I don't think you get it. There are only two simple reasons that you're not yet dead: because we need you in this damn life we call war, and I would hurt Duo by getting you out of my way. I won't hurt Duo for your sake, no matter how tempted I am. I still don't understand what he sees in you; you are snide and egotistical, you make everybody think that you don't care about them, that they're lower than you. But maybe… maybe I do that too.
When you two are together in front Trowa, Quatre, and myself, you don't act any different than two soldiers should. You're not overly infatuated with each other. You're not flirty and giddy and love struck. You care about what's happening, what's going on. You care about the next time we might die. But then you go up to your room together, and worry together, and confide in each other. Maybe you will die tomorrow. Maybe you'll never see each other again. Maybe there is no point in your relationship. I sure as hell don't think there is one.
I hate walking into a room when you're unsuspecting. I don't like seeing the vulnerability in either of your eyes, knowing that I wasn't meant to see. A casual arm draped across your companion's shoulder, just a careless touch makes me crave the sensation of being touched, being sheltered, being loved. I hate having to watch you when I have the damn misfortune of being stuck with you together and I hate that you don't realize that I need somebody too. I hate the fact that I am nobody to you, just the straight-faced soldier.
I don't want to see your happiness, I don't want to see your love. I want something for myself, something tangible, something to let me know why I'm still alive. All I want is you, Duo, and you're what I can't have.
As I watch you two together from the crack in your bedroom door, clenching my gun tightly, knowing that I'll never pull the trigger, I have to wonder why?
2x5 :: 1+2 :: Heero POV :: ficlet
by Kentra Shinataku
__________________
written for trixie
As I watch you two together, I have to wonder why? Why can't that be me? Why can't I find love the way that you did, the way you found happiness in each other, the way I'll never be able to? You have somewhere to go after a mission, someone to lie with in your bed of tears, someone to wrap their arms around you and tell you that you'll be alright. But I don't. I lie awake and wonder when the next mission will come, wonder why I was made this way, wonder why I have to kill. Am I that much different than the two of you? I know you think about those things too, you just have someone to share them with. Lucky you.
You take what you have for granted, Duo. I don't think you realize how much he cares about you, how he'll never let you take one miscalculated step. He's going to be watching out for you for a long time to come. He sees exactly what I see in you, he sees that you're… beautiful. You're beautiful on the inside and the outside. There are so many layers that make you up, Duo, and you've told him. You have told him and not me, and that is killing me. I hate the fact that you run to his arms when you need to be held when mine were open and waiting for you all along. I wanted to be able to hold you, to be able to tell you that you'll be alright. But it's obviously just not in my character. I'm the one who's stuck in 'perfect' mode, the one who obviously isn't capable of showing love. But Duo, if only you knew… if only you knew the love I could show you.
Wufei, I don't think you really can understand how much treasure you carry. I hate you for what you have. Do you realize that I want you dead? Do you realize that during the more restless nights, I stand outside your bedroom door, holding my gun? I don't think you get it. There are only two simple reasons that you're not yet dead: because we need you in this damn life we call war, and I would hurt Duo by getting you out of my way. I won't hurt Duo for your sake, no matter how tempted I am. I still don't understand what he sees in you; you are snide and egotistical, you make everybody think that you don't care about them, that they're lower than you. But maybe… maybe I do that too.
When you two are together in front Trowa, Quatre, and myself, you don't act any different than two soldiers should. You're not overly infatuated with each other. You're not flirty and giddy and love struck. You care about what's happening, what's going on. You care about the next time we might die. But then you go up to your room together, and worry together, and confide in each other. Maybe you will die tomorrow. Maybe you'll never see each other again. Maybe there is no point in your relationship. I sure as hell don't think there is one.
I hate walking into a room when you're unsuspecting. I don't like seeing the vulnerability in either of your eyes, knowing that I wasn't meant to see. A casual arm draped across your companion's shoulder, just a careless touch makes me crave the sensation of being touched, being sheltered, being loved. I hate having to watch you when I have the damn misfortune of being stuck with you together and I hate that you don't realize that I need somebody too. I hate the fact that I am nobody to you, just the straight-faced soldier.
I don't want to see your happiness, I don't want to see your love. I want something for myself, something tangible, something to let me know why I'm still alive. All I want is you, Duo, and you're what I can't have.
As I watch you two together from the crack in your bedroom door, clenching my gun tightly, knowing that I'll never pull the trigger, I have to wonder why?