Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Xmas Party ❯ Xmas Party ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Note to all you readers {::glares at the yaoi fans::}- I am a NON yaoi G-wing fan, so don't expect any lewd stuff from this



All flames shall be duly ignored ands burned. (If you really get desperate to do some flaming, go flame De-chan ::smiles innocently at Dekiru::, or compose your thoughts a little more creatively.) Enjoy!

Xmas Party
By: Kaen-chan ^-^


"Hurry up Duo!" Quatre yelled from the intricately ornate staircase of the Winner Mansion.
Quatre looked worriedly at the clock that was hanging on the wall near the living room. The five pilots had decided to spend a few days at Quatre's immense mansion (on earth) for a few days until after Christmas.
Wufei was growing increasingly impatient and was constantly muttering about the injustice about tuxedos, while Heero sat calmly by the door polishing his gun. Trowa... was being silent. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Duo hopped out, still trying to put his left shoe on. An almost comical look of fury was plastered on his face as he tried to jam his foot into the offending shoe.
"Quatre (ow), why in the (ow) world, did we (ow) have to wear (ow) our tuxedos? (Ow) We're going to a (ow) party aren't we?" He grinned triumphantly when the shoe finally resented into letting the foot in.
"Baka," Heero said, not bothering to look up from his gun. "Quatre already told us three days ago that we were going to some formal Christmas party," He paused and aimed his gun at the general area of Duo's head.
"Oi Heero, you're going to polish a hole into that gun you know?" Duo glanced nervously at the gleaming gun.
"Hn," was Heero's customary reply as he started to polish again.
Quatre surveyed the whole group. "Alright, does everyone have their gifts?" He checked his watch again as the rest of the pilots nodded.
Wufei scowled at the braided American. "Hmph, just because of you Maxwell, we had to wait an extra five minutes in these ridiculous attires." He looked distastefully at his white shirt.
Duo grinned. This was the perfect time for a small joke. "Eh, Wu-chan? Your shirt's not tucked in," Duo pointed at the Chinese pilot's shirt.
"Huh? Where?" Wufei looked down, providing Duo with the perfect chance to pull that black ponytail...
"KISAMAAAA!!!!!" Wufei screamed at the grinning pilot of 02 and pulled out his katana from hammer space.
Duo ran for dear life. "I gotta know where he hides that absurd sword," He muttered as he raced through the lobby, calling out "Here Wu-wu!" every few minutes.
"PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM MAXWELL!!!!!" Wufei screamed until Trowa knocked him senseless with a flower vase.
Duo breathed deeply in relief. "Hehehe. Arigatou Trowa," he thanked the silent man and started to dance around Wufei's prone body until an audible click was heard behind him. Nervously he turned around to be greeted by a gun barrel pointed right at his head.
"Uh Heero, you know we're supposed to be friends so... so.... um...DON'T POINT THAT THING AT ME!!!" Duo yelped when Heero's grip on the trigger tightened and quickly scurried behind Trowa.
"You talk to much," the Japanese pilot muttered casually and went back to polishing his gun.
Quatre was about to start hyperventilating when Rashid opened the front door. "Gomen for making you wait Master Quatre, but the limo has arrived."
The blonde Arabian fought to calm himself down and quickly ushered the rest of the pilots into the car {::Smirks:: Just for the fun of it, Wufei was dragged ^-^.}
The car trip itself was far from relaxing. Wufei was out like a light and to Duo's dismay, snored like a steam engine.
"Nataku, I'll defend you from those weaklings..." Wufei mumbled as he continued to slumber on.
Heero raised an eyebrow at that.
Duo glanced grumpily at Trowa. "Did you have to hit him that hard?"
Trowa shrugged nonchalantly.

Wufei was on a serene plain with his Gundam. Suddenly, what seemed like an angry mob stampeded towards him. It was soon obvious that the mob itself was compiled of nothing but women. The woman in lead, sounding suspiciously like Relena, was shouting numerous phrases of some sort.
"Ha! There he is! The women hater! Let's show him what a weakling can really do!" The leader shouted.
Wufei sneered at them and turned around to Nataku to deal with the women but somehow the Gundam wasn't there anymore.
"Nani?!" He glanced at the mob that was closing in on him.
"Women shall rule the world! BWAHAHAHAHA! Infidels! Feel the wrath of a woman!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wufei cried as he was engulfed in the mass.

"-Infidels! Feel the wrath of a woman!" Heero stopped the tape recording as Wufei jumped up with a disturbed 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'
Wufei blinked and clutched the back of the seat. "Onnas, so many onnas..." He whispered in a terrified voice.
"Ninmu kanryou," Heero smirked again and tucked the recorder back into his tux.
Duo burst out laughing at the sight of Wufei bawling like a baby. Quatre hurried to tend to the dazed Chinese pilot as Duo eagerly asked Heero to show him the machine. Heero raised an eyebrow and handed him the tape.
"How did you get this, Heero?" Duo grinned maliciously at Wufei who seemed to be lost in the nightmare after-effects.
The Japanese pilot shrugged. "Relena owed me a favor. She and the other girls recorded a bunch of stuff together. I carry this for emergencies."
"Ahhhh," Duo nodded slowly and pressed rewind, then play again.
"Women shall rule the world! BWHAHAHAHAHA! Infidels! Feel the wrath of a woman!"
Wufei, not even bothering to see where the voice was coming from, buried his head in a cushion with a whimper.
Duo sniggered but stopped when Wufei turned around to glare at him. "Uh oh."
"KISAMAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Wufei whipped out his katana again trying to run after the American but was restrained immediately by Trowa and Quatre.
Duo chuckled. Suddenly, he noticed that there was more on the tape. Curiously he pressed play.
"Hi Quatre!" Numerous pampered voices resonated from the recorder.
Quatre froze. The voices continued. Frantically he dove behind Wufei and cowered. "Don't let them find me," he whispered with panic.
"Who?" Trowa asked curiously
"We brought you more vests!" the recording continued.
"My sisters," Quatre quailed as another voice came piercing through like a bullet.
"Konnichiwa Quatre! Don't worry, we've brought you more clothing and donated that big ugly robot machine to the homeless!" the voice chirped.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Quatre wailed.
Heero looked on, extremely amused while Duo was still trying to find a new voice.
Trowa was trying to console Quatre and the recording went on.
"Look. There's the clown... He looks just like my punching bag!" It was obviously Noin and Sally, but their imitations of malicious children had the desired effect.
Trowa was still silent (O_O;;) but had a wild look in his eyes. Finally he snapped. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" {^-^;; Heh, heh, heh.}
Wufei who just got control of himself stared at Trowa as if he were insane. "What's the matter with you?" he asked.
"The horror," Trowa moaned and sagged to the floor of the limo.
Heero frowned, "I never required Relena to put that in. The baka."
Duo grinned and kept on playing.
"Hey, Duo! Just to let you know, I repainted Deathscythe Hell for you!" Hilde's voice rang out. "It now has cute little pink and white bunnies all over it. I also decided to hang a Sailor MoonTM poster in the cockpit!
{Gomen nasaii to all you Shinigami lovers, but I had to do this to Duo, even though he is my second favorite character. (Actually I did it to everybody.) Heh, heh, heh... ^-^"}
Duo's face blanched and the machine fell from his nerveless fingers.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wufei smirked. "Serves you right."
Quatre was trying to console Trowa who was still visioning many devilish faces reaching out to punch him.
Heero sighed. What had ever possessed him to even let that baka to even touch the tape recorder? Slowly he bent to pick it up. Suddenly, the recorder went off again.
"HEEERRROOOO! Chotto matte!" Relena's voice echoed as if she were on a cliff.
The suicidal pilot stopped and a look of total disgust spread on his face. BANG! He silenced the machine sufficiently and tucked away his gun {Yay! ^-^}. Glaring at Duo who was still moaning about Deathscythe H, he flung the broken machine at him. "You owe me a new recorder," he growled and stared stubbornly ahead in a strange un-Heeroish manner.
Slowly everything went back to normal until Duo got bored again.
"Are we there yet?" He asked for the umpteenth time.
Quatre was on the verge of going insane again. He spun around from his seat and glared at the braided American. "No," he snarled.
Duo winced when Heero yanked his braid. "Sit down," he growled and reached for his gun.
"Okay, okay," Duo sat down and muttered a quick apology to Quatre.
After fifteen more agonizing minutes, the car trip was over. They had arrived at the Winner's Grand Estates.
"Yes!" Duo leapt out of the car and raced towards the immense building.
Quatre followed and stood beside the door. As Heero and Wufei got out he stopped them. "Gun, and sword," he said, motioning for the two weapons.
Heero tried to look innocent. {Can you just imagine Heero with puppy dog eyes? ^.^;; ::Starts to laugh maniacally::}Finally, he gave up and gave Quatre the gun since everybody seemed to know he had a gun. Wufei just stood there, arms crossed and glared at Quatre, not relinquishing his sword. Soon they were in a staring contest. {Yes, Quatre can glare too... I think ::Tries picture Quatre glaring but fails miserably:: ^-^ Oh, well.}
Trowa was just getting out of the car and stopped to watch the staring marathon continue. Duo was waiting impatiently at the door.
"Is anybody coming?" he yelled.
Trowa walked over to Heero and whispered something into the Japanese boy's ear. Heero thought for a minute and nodded. Trowa stopped and fished around in his tuxedo's pocket. Finally, he took out a black tape recorder, similar to the one Heero had before he blasted it. "Gomen Wufei," he murmured and pressed play.
Relena's voice was heard loud and clear from the tape. "As the women of the Sanc kingdom all agreed, a poll has been taken. Women shall be equal to men whether they like it or not. Men shall no longer call us weaklings and shall hold us in the same respect as for themselves. The poll's results are unanimous. All men shall bow and scrape to us. Sundays shall also be 'feed the women orange sherbets days'..."
Wufei shuddered.
"Oh and Wufei," Relena voice continued sweetly {::gagging:: X-X}, "don't forget to pass out quietly."
Wufei's complexion was now pasty white and his nose was bleeding ^-^. "That weakling onna," he snarled and collapsed.
Quatre heaved a tired sigh and looked gratefully at Trowa. "Arigatou Trowa-kun," he said and bent down to take the katana that rolled out from hammer space and drag Wufei into the building. He handed it to Duo who looked curiously at the unconscious Wufei. Then saw the recorder in Trowa's hands.
"Where'd you get that Trowa?" Duo asked as they went into the building.
Trowa shrugged. "Relena also owed me a favor as well," he walked ahead to help Quatre with the body... {No Wufei is not dead... but one can wish right? ::Smiles guiltily at reader's:: ^-^;; Gomen.}
Duo handed Heero the sword, patted the suicidal boy on the head, and sprang off to catch up with the others before the pilot of 01 could do anything damaging.
Heero glared at the braid that was bouncing on the back of the American and glanced dully at the blade and gave it to a passing waiter. "Make sure you don't lose it otherwise the owner shall get very upset," he warned in his monotone voice. Abruptly he marched quickly to join the others. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a gun. He smirked as he loaded a number of bullets in.
"Poor Quatre," he murmured, "He doesn't even know he has a water gun." A rare chuckle escaped the 'Perfect Soldier.' He clicked off the safety. "I'm going to deal with that baka Relena later."

Quatre sighed and lugged a bucket of icy water over to the unconscious Wufei. He quickly poured it on the Chinese pilot not bothering to see if he drowned or not. Luckily the girls couldn't come... At least that's what he thought...
"Hey Quatre!" A feminine voice called from the entrance of the party.
The blonde boy flinched as a pair of forked eyebrows came unpleasantly into view.
"Eh," Quatre's large blue eyes looked desperately at Trowa, pleading him to help. Trowa nodded silently and reached into his tux. Quickly he took out a mini tranquilizer gun.
"Miss Relena told us that you were coming so we all decided to come as well. Unfortunately, Noin and Zechs couldn't make it. I can't believe it! Would you imagine-" Dorothy was babbling on and on, until Trowa shot the gun {Wee! ^-^}. Dorothy slumped down and Quatre sighed in relief. Just then, Duo bounded past them and head straight for the buffet.
"-.-?" Wufei spluttered as water reached his nasal cavity.
"Oh no," Quatre groaned as he struggled with Dorothy's body. Luckily, Wufei didn't need to be carried since he had already waked up.
"Huh?" He glanced at his surroundings puzzled. Then memories surged forward. "Where's my katana?" He demanded.
Quatre pulled at his collar. "I... I gave it to Duo to keep until the party ended," he coughed at Trowa and both hurried with Dorothy's body into the party room while Wufei worked himself up into a livid rage.
"KISAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Heero walked up and carefully tucked his gun away. He snatched a small meat roll from a passing waiter and shoved it into Wufei mouth to stall an oncoming speech about justice.
"Urusai," he warned quietly. "I gave your sword to a waiter for safe keeping."
"Mmph mmuph mm," Wufei glared, trying to swallow the food.
Heero glared back and slowly walked the restroom. Wufei gulped down the meat roll. "How dare they?" He muttered indignantly. "The injustice!" Suddenly he realized that he all alone and hurried into the brightly lit party.

The room was huge and there were many people, at least 20 guests and 30 or so waiters. A large tree stood majestically in the back, glimmering with all the ornaments hanging on it.
Duo was enjoying himself immensely, that is until a familiar hand clamped him down on the shoulder.
"Duo Maxwell! You still owe me an apology for what you did to my shirts last week!"
"-_-;;?!" Duo turned around slowly. A pair of lavender eyes glared up at him.
"Heh, heh. Hi Hilde," the God of Death smiled weakly at the scowling girl. "What in the world are you doing here?"
"Don't you 'Hi Hilde' me! You ruined my favorite shirts because of your lack of knowledge on COLOR CODING!" Her voice rose to a shriek on the last two words.
Hurriedly, Duo clamped he hand on her mouth and smiled apologetically at the surrounding viewers.
Hilde glared and wrenched herself from his grasp.
"And hello to you too," Duo muttered, wincing as Hilde rushed into another tirade. She stopped long enough to take a sip from her champagne glass.
"Baka," she muttered and continued.
Duo looked helplessly at Quatre who had just entered and was trying his best to smother a laugh. Trowa was silent, although he had an amused look in his eyes.
"Um, nice dress," Duo tried to start a non-yelling conversation.
Hilde looked at him suspiciously. Duo gave her one of his best 'don't you believe me?' looks. {Note that Duo is the master of deception. ^.~}
Hilde sighed in surrender and hugged the braided Shinigami.
"Finally," Duo muttered under his breath.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing," Duo smiled innocently and pulled her towards the food.
Quatre sighed signaled to a nearby waiter to go to the limo and get the gifts to put around the enormous Christmas tree in the back of the room.
As Heero exited the restroom and entered the party room, he felt as if he were missing something. Frantically he searched his pockets and even in hammer space. {Don't ask me how, he just can, and the other Gundam boys as well. ^.~} Finally he pulled out a self-detonation device and a radio transmitter switch with a sigh of relief. Hurriedly he walked into the room. Grudgingly he admired the taste of who ever designed the room. In fact it could be on a par with the Sanc kingdoms own main hall. As he picked up a glass of champagne, an all too familiar cry erupted from the back of the room.
"HEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
He spun around just to be glomped by a yellow-haired girl. "Relena," he glared coldly at the blonde girl. "Somebody get her OFF me!"
Wufei walked by and smirked. "Huh, you can't even control one onna."
Heero narrowed his eyes and shook off the ecstatic girl. Just then, Sally Po came up and glomped the startled Wufei as well. The suicidal pilot smirked as Wufei tried unsuccessfully to get free.
"INJUSTICE! Onna let go of ME!!!" Wufei yelled as everybody stopped to watched.
Duo chuckled from the crowd. Wufei glared at his direction. "Don't you dare Maxwell," he warned.
Duo seeing that Wufei was ready to kill, smothered his laughs and bowed to the crowd politely as he ran to the restrooms... "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Duo's voice echoed through walls. "Wuffie can't handle a woman!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!... Nani?!" Duo's voice stopped in confusion as he heard his own voice echo.
Heero smirked as he turned up the volume to the radio transmitter. Wufei's face was livid as he sprang out of Sally's arms and grabbed a fork.
"KISAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" {Everybody seems to be shouting today, ne? ^-^;;} He ran towards the restrooms.
Everybody in the room duly sweat-dropped, "^.^;;"
Quatre's eyes followed Wufei. Then he blanched. Trowa glanced worriedly at him.
"Nani Quatre? What's wrong?"
Quatre pointed towards the direction in which Wufei ran. "Somebody should warn him that he is going into the girls' bathroom."
Trowa winced and Heero looked thoughtfully at the door of the restroom. The Japanese pilot glanced at his watch. "3, 2, 1..."
"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!" A girl's scream rang through the vaults of the building. "Ecchi! Perverted wretch!" Numerous crashes and objects being hurled could be heard.
"Nani? Ouch! Onna stop it! What are you doing in here? Ouch! The injustice!"
Heero smirked as the struggle continued.
"You idiot! Get out! This is the GIRL'S bathroom! GET OUT!!!"
Duo walked up. "What happened? When I heard my voice echoing, I was sure that Wufei would come to kill me."
Heero pointed at the girl's restroom. "Does that tell you anything?" He said in a monotone voice as a fairly large crash issued from the room.
Duo's eyes widened. "Ara," he said slowly.
(Pause)
"Oh well. Let's eat!" he said brightly.
(Numerous sweat-drops appear at this point.)
"What?" The braided boy looked around confused.
Trowa shook his head and sighed. Signaling for the crowd to scatter he chuckled, "Poor Wufei."
A few minutes later, a very bedraggled Wufei walked in. He was covered in a powder of some sort and was constantly cursing under his breath.
"Kuso! Shimmata! Mataku!" He stalked towards Duo and Hilde. {Um, if you don't know what those words mean, please don't bother checking them up... They're vulgar and that's all you should know. Gomen ^-^;;.}
Duo looked up to see a powdery white Wufei. "Oi Wufei! What happened to you?"
Wufei glared at him. "As I was on my way to deliver justice," he turned and glared at the smiling Duo some more, "I unfortunately stumbled into the onnas' restroom." He shuddered violently.
"So how did you get be covered with that powdery white stuff?" Duo asked as he touched the powder cautiously and sniffed it.
Wufei glowered at the door to the women's bathroom. "I was hit by a lucky shot," he replied shortly.
"It seems edible," Duo muttered as he continued to study the anatomy of the white substance. "I wonder..." He tasted it tentatively.
"Well?" Quatre peered over Wufei's shoulder.
Duo had a triumphant grin on his face. "It's powdered sugar!" he announced.
Trowa inspected Wufei as well. "Hmm... I wonder why there's sugar in the girls' bathroom."
Heero shrugged looking inquiringly at Wufei's 'white' hair.
The Chinese pilot was getting fairly annoyed at being the class guinea pig. "Stop treating me like an experiment! The injustice!"
Just then Relena ran out from the girls' restroom (nobody had noticed she was gone), only this time she was a chibi with powder sugar smeared all over her face. {Let's call her Akki-chan, alright? ::smiles innocently and lowers voice:: Akki means demon. NO FLAMING!}
Heero blanched. "Oh no," he whispered and ducked into the crowd.
Trowa looked pale as a sugar high Akki-chan started to scream at the top of her lungs. "So that's why," he muttered and fished around in his pockets, retrieving a pair of earplugs.
"HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" The earsplitting scream ensued as Akki-chan raced through the crowd.
Trowa smiled happily {::blinks in surprise:: ^.^?}, totally oblivious to the chaos that reigned behind him, and picked up a plate to eat.
Duo groaned and crawled under the table. Surprisingly, that's where he found Quatre and Wufei. {::blinks some more:: ^.^??}
Duo sighed and took out a piece of paper and pencil. Quickly he scribbled down a message and held it up for Quatre to read.
Quatre glanced at it. "CALL THE SECURITY?" he yelled over Akki-chan's screaming.
"YES!!!!" Both Wufei and Duo looked pleadingly at the blonde Arabian.
"Okay," Quatre looked thoughtful and took out his cell phone. "Hello? Security?" Surprisingly, Quatre had no problems communicating with the guards.
A few minutes later, two burly Arabians marched in and restrained Akki-chan.
"Nani? LET ME GO!!! I WANT HEERO! HEERRROOOO!!! CHOTTO MATTE! COME AND KILL ME NOW!!!" Akki-chan thrashed wildly as they dragged her off. Extraordinarily, Akki-chan didn't revert back to the original Relena. {::Smiles innocently at the raving Relena-lovers:: I wonder why...Hehehe ^.~}
"Must hold back. Too tempting," Heero strained to NOT reach for his gun. Luckily, that was the end of Akki-chan's reign of terror (hopefully.) The Japanese pilot came out of hiding when he heard Akki-chan's screams altogether disappear.
"What a relief," he sighed and walked to the appetizer table where Duo and Wufei were sipping champagne. Trowa poured himself a glass as well and took out each earplug carefully.
Quatre glanced at his watch. "Hmm, why not?" He gestured to a waiter and grabbed a microphone. Clearing his throat, he waited for everybody to quiet down.
Duo turned to look and stared.
Quatre began his speech. "Arigatou mina-san for coming to the 9th annual Winner Christmas Celebration. I'd like to now present to you... AAAAHHHHH!!!" he stopped short as Duo came flying at him.
"SUGOII!!! IT'S A MICROPHONE!!!" Duo screamed and snatched the thing out of Quatre's numb hands.
Trowa glanced quickly at who was holding the microphone at that moment and replaced his earplugs swiftly.
"KONNICHIWA MINA-SAN! I WILL NOW BE SINGING ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS, GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE!" Duo's voice blasted through the speaker.
Heero grimaced and started to reach for his gun, then decided better of it because Wufei was already on the move, katana in hand. Quatre caught sight of the infuriated Chinese pilot and darted out of the way.
Heero looked puzzledly at the glinting sword that pointed at the cursed microphone. "How did he get it back?" he thought.
"EVERYBODY, NICE! EVERYBODY, NICE! ASHITA NO KAGARAKI WO SHINJITERU. EVERYBODY, CHANCE! EVERYBODY, CHANCE! KONOTE NI TSUKAMAEYOU. CARRY ON!!!!"
"MAXWELL!!! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE, SHUT UP!!!" Wufei slashed the cord of the microphone, conveniently silencing it.
"Nani? Why did you do that Wuffie?" Duo pouted.
Veins started to pop out of Wufei's forehead. "What did you just call me?" He glared at the sulking Duo.
Quatre immediately stepped in and tried to raise his voice. "Stop it both of you! It's time for the presents!"
Duo stopped pouting. "Presents? For me?"
Quatre nodded wearily.
"KAKKOI!" He shouted and bounded of the tree.
Quatre sighed and followed the happy pilot of 02.
When the whole group reached the tree, Duo was ready to dive in until Wufei grabbed onto his braid and threateningly raised his katana.
"Don't make me do it," he said as Duo gulped nervously.
Quatre smiled in relief and handed Heero a large package. The Perfect Soldier looked at it curiously and took it. "This is from me and the others," the blonde boy explained as Heero slipped the wrapping off. Inside was a Turbo model #1 Beam Cannon. Heero's eyes widened.
"I paid for it and the others picked it out," Quatre continued.
"Arigatou," he muttered as a strange glint appeared in his eyes.
Quatre peered at the boy. "Um, your welcome," he said uncertain if he should lock the weapon up for now.
Heero held it in one hand easily as if it were a stuffed toy and marched for the door. Duo looked after him inquiringly. "Heero, where are you going?"
"Nimnu ryukai," was Heero's reply.
Trowa shrugged and pointed to a long package. Quatre picked it up and handed it to Duo with a hesitant smile. "Enjoy Duo, although I'm not sure it's safe."
Duo eagerly started to unwrap it. "Don't' worry about me."
Quatre shook his head in disagreement. "It's not your safety I'm worried about because you should be fine, at least I think. It's our safety I'm worried for." He gestured at the whole room of people.
Duo's eyes glowed as he opened the box. Inside was a compatible man sized scythe. Wufei took one look at the deliriously happy Duo and what was in the box. His face paled noticeably.
"WAIIII!!!"
Duo pounced on the man sized thermal energy scythe with a cry of absolute joy. As his hands claimed the weapon, a SD/chibi Duo popped out, taking the place of the normal Duo. {Let's just call him Shinigami-chan for now ::Chuckles evilly ^.~::} Swinging it experimentally, he twirled like a baton. The blade flared into life as he tossed it up and down.
"Shinigami ga jigoku kara mai modotte kita ze!" he cried in a so very kawaii voice and jumped onto a table.
Trowa frowned and shook his head. "I don't think you should've given him that," he whispered to Quatre.
"Now you tell me," Quatre muttered and ducked as the blade came uncomfortably close to his head.
Trowa did his famous axle flip when Shinigami-chan swung the weapon again. "You should know Duo better than that."
Quatre sighed, "You're right."
Wufei got up from his crouch and jumped towards the gleeful God of Death. "Kisama! Do you want to flay us all?" He hissed between clenched teeth when he finally restrained the all to happy chibi-pilot.
Shinigami-chan lowered the scythe and pondered for a moment, his big violet eyes thoughtful. "Nope," he chirped suddenly, "Only you!" With that he laughed maliciously and started to twirl the oversized scythe again. "BANZAI!!!!" he yelled and jumped into a punch bowl.
It was Hilde who then fished him out. "Duo!" she reprimanded and hauled the chibi out by the ear. Shinigami-chan thrashed around and tried to sever the offending arm. (Hilde's.)
"Lemme go! I'm Shinigami! Not Duo!" Shinigami-chan finally got loose and started to run again. Wufei, getting very furious, grabbed him by the braid and whipped out his katana.
"I demand you to return to the Duo state this instant," he ordered imperiously.
Shinigami-chan scrunched up his SD face into a scowl. "So? You're not my mommy!"
Wufei lowered his katana to the braid. "If you want to keep your hair, you shall," he warned. The whole room was silent as the cast of G-Wing watched the exchange.
Shinigami-chan's lower lip trembled. "You wouldn't, would you Wufei-chan?"
Wufei snorted, "I am NOT your friend and never shall be, now hand me that scythe!"
"K'so!" Shinigami-chan pouted and handed him the weapon, still hanging dejectedly by his braid.
Hilde grabbed him by the ear, "Duo! What did I tell you about swearing?"
Shinigami-chan crinkled his nose in an adorable manner, "I'm not 'Duo' yet!"
Hilde narrowed her eyes dangerously. "I'll really stick a poster of Sailor MoonTM on your Deathscythe Hell and paint it pink!" She glared at the violet eyes.
"NO!!!! NOT DEATHSCYTHE HELL-SAMA!"
"Then give back Duo!"
"Fine," Shinigami-chan looked around evilly, "but I'll be back! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Hilde stopped him with a slap across the back of his head.
The chibi pilot of 02 glared and jumped down after kicking Wufei in the arm. "Injustice!" he imitated perfectly.
Wufei froze, a big purple vein bulging from his forehead. {::snickering::} "Why you-!" He stopped when Hilde shot him an almost perfect imitation of the Heero Yuy Death GlareTM .
Shinigami-chan sighed and blinked. In a fraction of a second, a sticky 'normal' Duo lay sprawled on the floor.
"Can I have my scythe back?" he asked plaintively.
Quatre grabbed the weapon from Wufei. "After the party," he promised.
Wufei started to splutter. "But, but, after all... he... WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ONNA?!"
Sally stifled her last chuckle and nudged Quatre in the ribs. "Hurry up before he blows up again," she whispered.
Quatre nodded and rummaged through the packages. He pulled out a medium sized box. "For you Wufei," he said smiling brightly. "Sally and Catherine picked it for you and I paid."
"Hmm?" Wufei took the wrapped box carefully. Using the katana, he sliced the tape off with precise care. When the box was free of the paper, he neatly folded it and tucked it away into hammer space.
"Well?" Sally looked impatient.
"Be quiet onna," Wufei mumbled as he opened the mahogany case. His eyes widened as the contents were revealed. Row upon row of gleaming daggers greeted him. "Oh my," he breathed, testing each blade for sharpness.
"Well?" Catherine sauntered up and grinned. "I polished them myself."
"Not bad for an onna," Wufei said.
Catherine leaned towards Sally. "Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?"
Sally shrugged, "Stick with a compliment... for now."
"Alright," Catherine looked dubious.
Wufei chuckled softly and looked at Quatre. "I'll be in the limo if you need me."
Quatre looked puzzled but agreed and went back to the Christmas presents. He signaled to a group of butlers. Five minutes later, they came in, carrying a large round object.
"Merry Christmas Trowa!" Catherine and Quatre intoned brightly in unison.
Smiling gently, he picked up Duo's scythe, switched the blade onto medium, and began to 'unwrap' the present. (Duo protesting loudly of course.)
The paper fell softly and Trowa's face took on a delighted look. Jumping into the air with a double somersault, he landed on the present with a loud boing! It was a trampoline. {Oh the horror! ::chuckles nefariously:: ^.^"}
BANG!!! A thunderous explosion resounded through the hallways and all the girls ducked for cover. Only Duo remained standing, oblivious to the sound, a cream puff holding his absolute undivided attention.
"N-nani?" Quatre peeked from under the tablecloth. Heero walked in calmly, a faint trail of smoke rising from the beam cannon. For some odd reason, he had a particularly satisfied look on his face.
"Ninmu kanyrou," he murmured and poured himself a glass of champagne.
"You killed her didn't you?" Duo asked between a mouthful.
Heero smiled {::gasps:: ^.^!} and nodded.
Quatre looked at the clock. Deciding that it was better for him to receive his gift tomorrow, he hurriedly ushered the rest of the boys out of the doors. Waving a hasty goodbye to the rest of the guests, (Dorothy still being asleep,) he dragged them into the limo (he had some help with Trowa though.)
Wufei looked up surprised when they entered the car. Duo had received his scythe again, and Heero was murmuring appraising words to his beam cannon, chuckling maliciously every now and then. Trowa was on the roof of the car, still jumping on his trampoline, miraculously staying in place without falling off and not freezing. He shrugged and threw a knife, which embedded itself into a target, which was a cardboard image of Duo... Luckily, Duo was too enraptured in polishing his scythe to notice.
Quatre groaned. At least Duo didn't get too hiked up... That is...
Duo chuckled evilly, and pulled out a bag of powdered sugar. "BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" he chortled.
Quatre stared at the bag of white sugary sweetness in horror...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

~Owari~

Kaen -chan: So mina-san what do you think?
Wufei: You really don't like me do you?
Kaen: Nope.
Quatre: But, I didn't receive a present yet.
Trowa: Nods at Kaen and pulls out a medium sized box
Duo: Well now you have!
Quatre: Opens box and is now throwing dignity out the window A pair of sickles!!! WOOHOO!!! YESSSS!
Heero: ... -_-;;
Kaen:... ^.^?
Wufei: ...Weakling -_-...
Trowa:... -_-;;
Duo: ... ^-^ Hey, I'll bet that my scythe is better than your sickles!
Quatre: You're on!!!
Kaen: Grimaces as a wall is blown into smithereens I hope you enjoyed this fanfic... Winces when Duo cackles Demo... HEY!!! PUT THAT DRAGON STATUE DOWN NOW!!!
Dekiru: Ja! ^-^
Kaen-chan: What in the world are you doing here?
Dekiru: You didn't say goodbye so I did it for you.
Kaen: ...grr...
Dekiru: ^-^ See what I mean?