Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Yellow Submarine--The GW fanfic ❯ In the beginning... ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Yellow Submarine--The Gundam Wing Fanfic

Written by Kindra and her sidekick, Hana a.k.a. Akira Yuy *sweatdrop*

WARNINGS: one word: "random." However, if you live in my world, random
is good. This was written at 4:15 am a few days ago, yadda yadda, you
know the pathetic lame excuses or whatever. Another thing, both
authors love Heero very much. Why have we been so cruel? Dunno,
Duncare. We promised him a party afterward though ~.^ Other warnings?
Yaoi-ness and stuff.

DISCLAIMERS: *rolls eyes* Okay, me nor my sidekick own Gundam Wing,
Utena, Evangelion, X, The Simpsons, Bring It On, The Babysitters Club
books, My Little Pony, Akira, Cheerios, Digimon, Monty Python or
Escaflowne. I sure as hell can tell you it'd rock if I did. ^_^ The
song "Funky Monkey" was written by the lead singer in the band I'm in
known as "Damn boy, yo ain't right!" There is one thing I do own
though, and that is Slacker Trieze. Slacker Treize is miiiiiiiiine!
Eh-hem. Gomen ne... And now, the story.

Chapter 1

Dorothy's eyes glittered as she watch the shoujo anime on one of
Romofeller's security cameras.

"Oh power of Dios, come forth from within me," The purple haired girl
leaned back and out from her chest protruded the handle of a sword.
Another girl, one with pink hair, took hold of it and pulled,
extracting the sword from the Indian chick's bust line.

Dorothy was in awe. This show, one which was so full of romance and
strengthening power... it touched the girl with frightening eyebrows
like nothing else ever had. SHE wanted to be a rose bride!

She hopped up and ran to the boys' locker room expecting excitedly to
impress Relena with Wufei's sword stuck in her torso. Why? We shall
never know. After all, it IS Dorothy...

She threw open the doors to the room, going around looking for Wufie's
handy dandy sword named Sorata (Wufei has a thing with naming his
possessions after the character from X) that he always kept around.
Two boys were brushing their teeth in one of the nearby sinks. They
looked up and stared as Dorothy threw things into the air on her mad
quest to find sexist-boy's sword.

"Hey, Shinji, what's that girl with the blonde hair doing in here?"

"Dunno... but wait, don't we have guys here in the alliance with long
hair like that?"

"Oh yeah, that Zechs or Milliardo guy. But then... Why does he have
boobs?"

The boy with the short black hair shrugged. "Sex change? If he can't
make up his mind about his identity, what's stopping him from being
gender confused as well?"

"Hmm... intuitive. Good thinking, Shinji. Lets go take a shower." They
spat out their toothpaste and wondered off to THAT part of the locker
room, Shinji blushing and holding Kaoru's hand.

"Ah-ha! Found you, Sorata!" Dorothy cried, holding Wufei's sword into
the air. "And now to get Relena to be my prince..." With a sudden
heave, she shoved Sorata into her chest, gasping slightly as her lungs
and heart were punctured. "Relena-sama! Come and take the power of
Dios from my host..." She stumbled out of the locker room in search
for her "oji-sama" not caring about the massive amounts of blood she
was loosing...

****

Dr. J says, "I have a claw."

****

"Burrrrppp" A gigantic belch emerged from Treize's esophagus. "That's
one more Duff for meeeeeee!" He sang. But Treize was too engaged in
watching the cheerleaders chant "Brr! It's cold in here!" in Bring It
On to be aware of how waster he was.

"Hey," Treize said, pointing to the TV. "She looks like Une. And she
looks like Milliardo."

"TREIZE!!!! Damnit, you're supposed to be at work!!!" His Housewife
Une yelled from upstairs where she had been reading a cheesy romance
novel. The irked tone of his girl's voice made Treize jump and he
immediately went limp in order to appear asleep. However, as drunk as
he was, he forgot to close his eyes in this process. Une came
downstairs and stared skeptically at the large lug draped over all
sides of the dilapidated couch. "Nice try. Your eyes are open. You
actually thought that I would be stupid enough to believe that you
were asleep?? Lazy ass slacker..." She walked around to her husband
and remover the bottle of Duff beer from his hand, tightening the belt
of her pink bathrobe.

"U~une!!" Treize whined as she flicked off the cracked TV, depriving
him of the cheerleading girls.

"Oh go shave. You haven't taken a shower in three days. Nor have you
changed out of those hideous yellow boxers."

He continued to grumble.

"Glupii sløn," Une murmured in her foreign tongue. Which just so
happened to be Russian. Um, yes. This is literally translated as
"stupid elephant."

"Don't forget to leave my cheerios on the table!" Treize said,
reaching under the cushion and retrieving yet another bottle of Duff.

"Their goes our retirement money..." Une mumbled incoherently.

*****

Dr. J says, "My claw can spin in circles."

*****

Trowa walked into a room.

"Hi, Krusty!" Chimed three little telekenetic shrivled green kids
(they look like teal raisins!) in unison.

"Hi Krusty!" A scary little kid named Gulliver said.

"Trowa's name must be Krusty," Trowa announced. Relena also then
walked into the room, dauned in a short black velvet skirt, fishnet
tights with shiny boots that traced up to her knees, an ebony shirt
which held her chest rather firmly, chains that added practically 15
lbs to her figure, and black lipstick and eyeliner heavy enough to
battle Tammy Faye Baker in a makeup war (you know the blonde lady on
that God channel. The one that Duo likes to watch). Apparently, she
had also dyed her hair black, streaked it red and put it up in a
mohawk.

She flashed Trowa/Krusty the clown a piece sign and said, too adorably
for some people's tastes, "Behold the wrath of Goth princess Relena!
Well, jah-nay-mee-na-san!" She dashed away. Trowa/Krusty the clown
stood blankly and blinked.

*****

Dr. J says, "When I push this button, my claw can grab things."

*****

Heero panted, beads of sweat dripping down his face. "I-I must
complete this mission..." He breathed. It was the only way of
surviving... high school. He had to learn to get past the fourth grade
reading level. "I don't wanna read about the damn Babysitters Club!"
Alas, after a few minutes, Heero was soon engrossed in the plotless
pink novel. "Wow! Stacey is so brave! Those kids must look up to her
so much!" he said in amazement.

Across the room, Quatre was happily re-organizing his collection of my
little pony figures.

"Here, Rainbow Starlight," he told one with purple skin, orange hair,
and an ice cream cone imprinted on it's butt, "You can stand over here
next to your boyfriend, Sunshine Bright." He continued to coo at the
multicolored horses. Then, the door opened and Trowa/Krusty the clown
came in. Heero looked up from his ever so sophisticated readings.

"Hi, Krusty," He said solemnly, in that tone of Heero we all know too
well.

"Uh, hi, Heero," He replied uneasily, still confused to why everyone
was calling him "Krusty."

"Krusty! Oooh! You have to see me newest members!" Quatre chimed
happily, beckoning over the boy with the infamous uni-bang.

"See? These two over here, Flower Princess and Diamond Moonbeam, are
in love with eachother and so are these two right here." Quatre moved
the plastic horses from one place to another, showing Trowa/Krusty the
clown which one liked which. "Aren't you proud, Krusty? My ponies are
making yaoi!"

"Uh-huh. Yes, very good, Quatre."

The blonde snuggled up close to his lover.

"I love you, Krusty. I'm so glad you're here with me now."

"Yes, Quatre. So am I."

"Oh Stacy! Don't be like that! You know you're better than the rest of
those girls. Being different is a gift, Stacy! Hm... I think I'll
recommend this book to Wufei."

*****

Dr. J, Mr. Owikawa, and Dornkirk are all sitting at a table playing
bridge.

*****

"Hey, lady! Wanna buy a used car?!" Duo called out to Dorothy who was
still wondering around with Wufei's sword Sorata thrust through her
heart. Although, this time she had dyed her hair violet, and was
wearing a crown and a red dress. She turned to look at him.

"Uh... no. I don't want a used car. I'm actually looking for Relena.
Tell me if you see her, okay?"

Duo shrugged and replied, "Sure thing. Uh... if you don't mind my
telling you, you're bleeding all over. Don't you want to take that
sword out of your boobs or something?"

Dorothy shook her head. "No, that's Relena's job. She's gonna be my
prince!"

Duo stared blankly as she continued to walk down the road.

"Man, this job blows hard." He muttered, loosening the stripped tie
that was bound around his neck. He had already been yelling at people
to see if they wanted to buy a used car for almost an hour and he
still hadn't sold one. Besides, the suit he was required to wear was
very... Un-Duo-ish.

"Make way for me, Lumberjack princess Relena!!" Duo looked up. The
girl stood in front of him, a red plaid button down shirt topped over
by a pair of overalls covering her body. Miraculously, her hair was
now back to it's normal blonde braid-do again. She revved her
chainsaw. "I will cut down a tree to make a house!"

"Dorothy was looking for you," he told her and then murmured, "Though
why I will never figure out.

"Oh yeah, and do you want to buy a used car?"

Relena closed her eyes and sang in a weird deep voice, "Oh, I'm a
lumberjack and I'm okay. I sleep all night and I work all day..."

"Never mind." Duo groaned, rolling his eyes.

*****

Milliardo was having the time of his life... in colony 30087. Yes, you
know it. The one colony known for it's expansive homes for the
mentally ill. Milliardo was in the looney bin.

He sat inside one of the white rooms, staring calmy at the wall.
Dilandau, his roommate, was cheerily setting things one fire and
laughing insanely (author Kindra loves Dilly). But the tall and
stunningly gorgeous blonde just kept sitting.

"You know," he stated at last, "If you keep looking at the wall, you
start to see pictures. I can see a monkey. He's climbing a branch. Oh,
silly monkey." He began to sing a little ditty, "If you want to get
funky, come and meet my monkey. If you don't want to get funky, don't
come meet my monkey..."

Dilandau burned stuff.

*****

End, chapter one. Tune in in around a month from now to see if I've
written any more. Not that it's really worth it anyway but... meh. ^.^