Gunslinger Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Silent Sentinel ❯ Silent Sentinel ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights; property, intellectual, financial, distribution, etc., to Gunslinger Girl. All rights therein are the possession of Yu Aida, Media Works Inc., and Funimation Entertainment.

 

Silent Sentinel

 

There they go, all smiles and giggles. Carefree and innocent, oh how I envy them. Not knowing what I feel here in my room, but perhaps its better they do not.

 

A romance novel piqued my interest in the morning. Now philosophy has won my appeal. I've learned the why and how is equally important as the what. Mr. Aristotle is a very wise person. So are Mr. Descartes and Mr. Hippocrates. Miss Rand however is a woman I find most intriguing. To live for the self in all that it is. The very notion of such; is something I notice very seldom around here.

 

Is affection truly something to be earned and not given freely? Do I feel the way I do because they have earned my affection through their innocence? No, I can't allow myself to do this. If I release my emotions, I'll start to worry. They will be fine and will come back. They always have and always will. The day is nice and the breeze is slight. Today would be good for my garden.

 

This book is not for me.

It will make me view that which I cannot see.

If my emotions run free, so they will run from me.

 

*******

 

Hours I have spent here in my sanctuary. Weeding and watering my worries away. Its true, physical activity does put the mind at ease. When I'm done here, I think I'll go for a run. I wonder if they're running now. Are they running after someone or from someone? No, they are running after. They are stronger than normal people by far. Nobody can match their speed and strength. They are fine and well.

 

Sometimes I wonder though. Are they really all right? Are they crying out in pain? Do they need somebody to carry them to safety? To tell them everything will be okay? Why do I always feel this way? I try not to, but it always happens when they go. If only one of them leaves, I agonize over the possibilities. I'm crying, I'm crying and I can't stop. Why can't I stop myself?

 

A laugh, I recognize that laughter anywhere. There they are, all of them dressed as they left. No harm has befallen them and they smile as if it never happened. I quickly wipe my eyes and put on my glasses as I've done countless times. Once again I go tacit and detached. I walk to my room so that I may here their stories, to lend my ear freely once again. I'll step into the background one more time and lock my emotions away.

 

I didn't ask for this position, but I embrace it every day.

I am their silent sentinel in my elaborate way.

And I will watch over them for as long as I may.