Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ Love & Breeding ❯ Chapter 2

After a quick snack, the couples decided on how to make this congratulation party to celibrate all the ham-ham pairs that have hooked up. "Okay, here's how we're going to do this," Boss began. "Dexter, you and Pashmina are in charge of party decor. Hamtaro, you and Bijou got the food. Howdy, you and Hannah can get the drinks. Hamina and I will find the entertainment. Panda, you and Miri can build the stuff like the dance floor and-"

"Somebody say dance floor?"

As if on cue, here comes Jam, Roll and Ruby. "Who's got the floor, eh?" Jam asked again.

"Some things never change at all, do they?" asked Hamtaro.

"Hey babe, how d'you do?" asked Stan.

Ruby of course, B lined it for Stan. "I'm in the mood for some lovin', Stan." she answered.

"Oh you'll get it.... but this time, let's not disturb the locals like last week."

"Yeah, you like, totally mess up the mood for the rest of us." said Sandy.

Ruby commented, "You're just mad that your brother pleases me better than your boy ham pleases you."

"You better watch your mouth."

"And you're gonna make me?"

"Girls, girls, please, don't fight over me." Stan playing diplomat. "Ruby, baby, don't say stuff like that. It hurts Sandy's feelings, and I don't wanna have to put you two on seperate leashes."

"So what else is new?" Jam asked.

"Um, Jam, I personally wanted to say thanks for bringing my Pepper to me." Oxnard said happily. "If it weren't for you, I would still be lonely and depressed."

"No prob, Ox, it's good to help out my buds."

This caught Pepper's attention. "So Jam, exactly when are you and Roll gonna sing like the lone rooster in the henhouse?" she asked.

"Pepper, be nice."

"Sorry sugar, but this is something I gotta know."

"Same here." said Dexter. "When are you two gonna make some soup?"

"When you knock up Pashy." Jam answered with a smirk.

"I've been knockin' her up. When are you gonna do it with Roll?"

"When Pashy has your kid."

"Well, I'll be expecting in three days." said Pashmina.

"You're what?!"

"Expecting in three days."

"And you were gonna tell me when?"

"I've been trying to tell you, but..."

"Well now..." Jam was shocked, or at least that's how he looked. Interesting, Pashy's playing along with Dex... I guess I'll play along too.

"So what is it?" asked Roll.

"It's a girl." Pashmina answered.

A little later, the gals decided to have a word with Jam, leaving Roll and Ruby to chow down. "Hey ladies, explain the deal." Jam said.

"We want to talk to you about Roll." said Pashmina.

"Go on..."

"You do know she's... ripe, non?" asked Bijou.

"She was ripe when you met her."

"You're kidding?!" all the gals exclaimed.

Jam folded his arms and nodded. "Serious as I love to jam."

"And you didn't do her last week because..." said Penelope.

"She wasn't ready."

"What do you mean she wasn't ready?" All the gals hounded Jam again.

"Just as I said, she wasn't ready."

"But she is ready!"

"I don't have to take this from you gals, later."

Sandy cut Jam off. "Jam, this is totally important here." she said. "Roll really likes you and wants you to do her, it shows. This is an important thing that you and her have to do."

"Ffft, and which of you girls agree with Sandy here?" all the femme hams raise a paw. Jam lifted the visor, Time for the wake up call. he thought, then told his piece. "You romantics have to realize two very important things: That this is real life and to wake up from the fairy tale romances that you think are going to happen. Remember that there's nothing wrong with being a romantic, but leave the 'Mamma Drama' on the tv and in the books. There's no such thing as knights on white horses in shining armor. There's no such thing as a 'Mr. Romantic' with a diamond ring for every girl that he meets.

"There IS no 'Perfect Gentleman' who kisses your paw and wants to sweep you off your feet at every confrontation. REAL relations work differently than the ones in the books and on the screens. Every sunny that I know that wanted their beaus to treat them romantically like the girls they see on the screen and in the books ended up with fragmented hearts, and the same will happen to you if you continue to share their opinion. Relations are a tricky sort, you can't just play matchmaker and think that things will work because you set it up so that all the pieces come together properly. This sort of thing works differently than mere friendship, realize this ladies." and with that, Jam walked by Sandy, visor down, and back to the fellas.