Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Breaking Silence ❯ Chapter Five ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter Five

Dear Remus,

I do feel for that poor girl you yelled at, having only heard you yell through letter form, I'm sure you are a sight to inspire fear in person. Just kidding. I'm sure at worst she was just confused. Though it does surprise me that you lost your temper with anyone, from everything I've heard about you, you're the most level headed of your entire merry band of hellions.

When it comes to Gwen, I dare to say I have a theory. You openly admit you're keeping something from her, well reasons aside that could be the root of all of this. You have been going out for almost a year if gossip is to be trusted; she's most likely noticed you hiding something from her. Doubt is like a weed; it takes root in the mind and chokes the life out of reason. Maybe you can try something to reinforce her trust in you? I know you haven't done anything to warrant the doubt but she's probably not thinking too clearly, if you love her, it's an option to fix the relationship.

Sophie paused in her letter writing. What she was saying was very valid, she reminded herself. If you didn't possess all of the information that Sophie was privy too at least. Truthfully, she would say that the tension stemmed form a cheating Gwen projecting her guilt onto Remus. The theory she wrote was completely valid and could also be the answer, she tried to convince herself. Sophie shook her head knowing she didn't really believe that.

Honestly, Sophie almost wanted them to break up. She could see herself really liking Remus and being great friends, but her family was still more important to her. She loved her parents despite everything, she defiantly loved her little sister, and she was going to do nothing that might take Tessie away from her. Praying for the strength to keep that conviction she soldiered on.

One more thing before I go that I feel must be said. I really am sorry that I can't tell you who I am. I want to! I just… I can't. I don't pretend to know whatever the secret you're keeping from Gwen is, but my identity is just as important to me. Trust me when I say that you actually want me to remain A Lady.

And with that said I really do value your letters! They have become the highlight of my day whenever I receive one. I remember you asked me to tell you about my friends? Well truth is I would be telling you about, well you. I don't really have anyone I talk to on a regular basis that isn't a teacher besides you, that's probably why the Room told me to write to someone, anyone. It's horrible and to use your word clique, but it's the truth. Despite my short comings, I really do want to be someone you can trust.

Yours as truly as she can be at this moment,
A Lady

P.S. Just so you know, while I can't tell you who I am, that doesn't mean if you guess I go away. So if you guess who I am, then our game can end.

Looking up at the moon though her window Sophie couldn't help but marvel at its brilliance. It was the first full moon since her returning to school, and it really was a breath taking sight.

Sophie hadn't been able to resist at the end of her letter to challenge Remus to figure out who she was. Her family could keep her from saying anything, but a part still wanted him to find out, she could deal with the consciences later. Sighing she sealed the letter and left for the Owlry hopeing that this wasn't some huge mistake.

Fifteen minutes later she was back in her dormitory and laying in bed wonder what to make of her journey to the Owlry and back. The events included a big fat nothing, no run ins with Joseph, no interludes with Remus. She hadn't even seen a ghost let alone a living person! It was so uneventful it was worth mentioning giving her normal excursions now a day. It was seriously bugging Sophie, it seemed like some dark premonition. Shaking herself physically to rid her of such mental thoughts, Sophie ordered herself to go to sleep, Monday was only a few hours away and things would soon enough return to her definition of normal.

CLACK! Sophie stabbed a piece of sausage with a little more force than necessary; this earned her quite a few looks from her classmates. It had been four days, four days! Since she had sent Remus her most recent letter. It had never taken him so many days to respond to her! It was starting to make her worry and confirm her fear that she just wasn't cut out for having friends or anyone close to her.

The first rustling of wings alerted her to the arrival of the morning post. Sophie didn't bother to look up. She wasn't expecting today to be any different from yesterday. "Or the day before or the day before that or the day before that!" she muttered under her breathe. This sort of anxious waiting was new to Sophie and she wasn't taking it well. Truly, it was pricking a temper she hadn't known she possessed. Remus seemed to have an unnerving way of doing things like that.

When she heard an owl land in front of her, she felt her hopes soar and dark mood instantly lift. Taking a good look at the owl, she descended back into her black mood, it was only Winston, the family owl. This could only mean that her mother had written her about if she was allowed to come home for any upcoming holidays. Winston held out his leg pompously gazing at her with contempt in amber gaze. "We never did like each other did We Winston?" she asked the owl oblivious to the giggles that incited from the girls sitting a few seats down. Winston's only response was to fly away after she had taken the letters.

That actually confused Sophie, normally her mothers missives were short, barely taking up half a sheet of parchment, this one was large enough apparently to warrant two envelopes. The first one was addressed to "Sophia Naldeg" with all the correct address information written in neat crapped script that denoted it as her mothers. Taking a breathe she opened the letter and read.

Dear Sophia,

I request your presence at Christmas this year. Please do not write if you are going to waste my time for I have none that you can waste.

Yours truly,
Mrs. Melissa Naldeg

Sophie had always laughed at how her mother closed her letters with her full name. "Well when your only joy in life is your name you have to find some way to show it off I suppose?" Sophie was struck by how mean that statement was, causing her to laugh. Overall, it was the standard sort of letter she received from her mother prior to any break granted Christmas was three months away still it wasn't note worthy. Sophie then looked down at the second letter curious to see who it was from.

To Sophie

Wherever Hogwarts is, I think she's in Ravensclaw!
The sloppy slanted script belonged to her youngest sister Tessie! She ripped open the letter furiously, wanting to hear from her dearest sister.

Dear Sophie,

Since I'm going to Hogwarts next year too, mom said I should start to learn how to use an owl so I can send her letters! So she's been having me tie all of her letters for her. She never sends you my letters when I ask her so I just included this cause I miss you so much!

Sophie smiled fondly. She always missed Tessie fiercely. She would write to her once a month at least but never received anything back due to her tyrannical parents that didn't love her. She read on hungrily,

I'm so excited I get to go to school with you next year! I know you've only been at school for almost a month but I miss you so much already I could just expire!

Do you like that phrase sissy? I just read it in a book and I thought it was so dramatic! It's become my new catchphrase! You really need to write to me sissy now that I can answer you!

Your dearest little sister whose about to expire from lack of her dearest older sister,

Tessie

Sophie couldn't hold in a giggle, Tessie was such a character. Their two older sisters had become bitter and conceded in their years, but Tessie has always had such a refreshing spirit. She really was the light of Sophie's life and she was looking forward to her coming to Hogwarts next year just as much as Tessie was.

The surprise appearance of Tessie's letter lifted Sophie's spirit for the rest of the day. She was laying in bed reading a book happily when she heard the dorm door open. Sophie recognized Gwen and two of her friends by their voices, the curtains were drawn closed so they didn't know of Sophie's presence.

"So how are you and Remus doing Gwen?" asked one of her cronies. Sophie almost stopped breathing, trying to stay as quite as she could so that they would go on.

"Well he was sick for most of this week, in the hospital wing and everything, sleeping of course like he always is when his anemia starts acting up on him." Gwen's tone made it sound like she thought he was over playing it, in fact that's exactly what she thought. If it wasn't for the fact she had seen him in the hospital wing on more than one occasion when he disappeared like this, she would have thought he was faking it all. No man, no real man got sick every month. Was he menstruating or something?

Sophie on the other hand felt absolutely horrible. Here she was thinking that he had completely forgotten her or hated her. She could vividly remember calling him several nasty names that she was now turning on herself. Sick! And in the hospital wing! She was truly heartless.

Gwen continued and Sophie listened with rampant attention.

"He came to see me today though, and told me he had something special planned for the Hogsmeade trip this Saturday." Her cronies all ooowwwed appropriate amounts and topics changed.

Sophie was left confused though. It sounded like he had read her letter, but why then had she gotten no response? She took a deep breathe to clear her thoughts as she heard the door click closed as the girls exit.

"I need to clear my head" she commented to herself. With that, she jumped off her bed and walked briskly down to the library.

Once at her destination, she roamed without direction. Her feet led her to the table she had first met Remus's at, the latter being who was now occupying it. Sophie froze, turned on her heels and back tracked. "I'm such a coward." She muttered to herself. Instead of facing Remus and talking to him like she should be doing; she was hiding childishly behind a bookshelf looking through a crack at him.

He was sitting much in the same position she had originally found him a week or so ago. Dishelved hair fell to cover most of his face, hands holding his head up and shoulders stumped in an almost defeated manner. From the small areas of his skin she could see, a gray parlor that wasn't normally there was evident, left over from his sickness no doubt, she mused to herself. She couldn't help but think how sad he looked.

Two rolls of parchment rested in front of him, ink and quill also rested close at hand.
It looked to her like he was about to write back to her, so why then did he look so uninterested in doing so? Was she right and he actually didn't want to talk to her anymore? She had just gotten up her courage to go and talk to him when someone beat her to it.

"My oh my, why doesn't someone seem pensive!" Sophie had only met the man a handful of times and not under the most amicable of circumstances but she recognized Sirius Black's voice easily enough. "So come on Moony, or moody as the case may be, what's the matter?" he was answered by silence. "Oh come on tell your dear old Padfoot what's wrong and he'll make it all better. If you don't I'll tell Grace your sick, and do you really want mother on your back?" He coerced. He apparently wasn't taking this that seriously; at least it seemed like that in Sophie's mind.

"I wish you could Padfoot." Remus's muffled voice commented.

"Well if you don't tell me than I know I cant do anything." The sound of wood scraping against wood announced Sirius sitting down in a chair.

"I don't know if I should keep writing to her." Sophie dared not to breathe.

"Oh that mystery lady who has your panties all in a bunch? Why would you stop?"

"She refuses to tell me who she is still!" he sounded so aggravated.

"So? Will knowing who she is really change that much for you?" Sirius asked bluntly.

"Well, it would be nice to be able to talk to her in person." He threw back defensively.

"Look at it this way mate, you already have a girlfriend so knowing her name isn't really going to do anything now is it? So you can talk to her in person, so what? Is that really all that's bothering you?" Sirius asked. "I know you and Gwen have been a little shaky recently, maybe you're trying to use this girl as a replacement for her until you and Gwen are good again. If it was…" he interrupted by a new voice that Sophie didn't recognize.

"Sirius, Lupin! So this is where you two have been hiding! Come on mates we have work to do!" Sophie assumed that this was James Potter. Not wanting to risk being caught at this point and not wanting to hear anymore really, Sophie took her leave.

She didn't want to go back to her dorm, so she ended up pacing in a corridor until the Room of Requirements opened up for her. Inside she found a large bed she could throw herself on, she proceeded to do just that.
"Augh what have a done! I always find some way to screw things up! I'm so stupid!" she lamented loudly to herself. "I couldn't just leave well enough alone! I could have said that I went to a different school with a similar room! But no, I can't lie like that I have to swear that I'll tell him as much of the truth that I can! Now some jerk knows my dad's not my dad and is holding it over my head! FANTASTIC! Right when I about to tell him who I was also!" a tapping at the window caused her to jump and give a little shriek.

It was only Duchess scratching to get in, which confused Sophie but left her a little calmer. She stood and walked over to the window and let the owl in, marveling the whole time, that window hadn't been real last time she was here. Duchess took a perch on Sophie's arm as per usual and held out her leg. There was a letter attached to it, Sophie's fingers trembled as she unfolded the letter and started to read.

Dear Lady,

Sorry for my tardiness in writing you back, I've been sick this past week and have been able to do little more than sleep, I hope you didn't think it was me avoiding you. While I am blessed with many friends, you are a special case, I feel more honest with you than I do most people, and for that fact, I will respect your inability to tell me who you are. That being said I WILL figure out who you are anyways because I know you want to tell me. Don't try to deny it you wouldn't have reminded me of your little challenge if you didn't want me to know. Well I'm being called away to perform my duty to my friends, I'll leave you with one question, tell me about your classes, you can do that at least since you insist to tease me as such.

Yours mischievously,

Moony

P.S. Moony is the nickname my friends us, maybe one day I'll tell you how I came across it.

Sophie smiled; maybe all was not lost yet.