Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Candied Love ❯ The Detention That Changed Everything ( Chapter 1 )

Severus Snape rather enjoyed the cool darkness of the dungeon. He would have loved to stay down in the darkness forever, forgotten by the world filled with the people who enjoyed the sunlight and the fresh air. He much rather liked the smell of potions, of the many potion ingredient that could alone be deadly, but together could be worse. Probably the best thing about having a classroom in the dungeon was being able to give detentions far away from the light of day and all that his students cared to enjoy. That was a real detention, suffering and punishment for wrong doing, mostly for those cocky Gryffindor. If Snape had his way they'd all be down here serving detention. But no...he only had Potter. Snape found him unable to keep writing on the parchment, looking to the back of the room where he was sure Harry Potter was going to be sitting. It was a double edged sword dealing when punishing Potter. It felt good to punish Potter because it felt as if he was punishing James. He had control over Harry the way he never had over that good for nothing father of his. But there was pain when Harry looked at him with those brilliant green eyes and Snape would swear it was Lilly looking at him. Lilly who was begging him to spare her son. Snape growled as he slammed his fist on the table. Damn it! Why did Harry potter have to be the son of both James and Lilly? One he would always loathe and one he would always love. It was driving Snape to distraction and no matter how he tried to separate himself from Harry he was always pulled back in. And now he was going to have to spend several hours with the boy who was torturing his mind. Of course he couldn't let Harry be unpunished, but how was he suppose to spend these few hours with only Harry Potter in his classroom? Even now he was sure that Potter was on his way down for his scheduled detention, probably complaining about how Snape was unfair and how he was innocent, just like his father. Snape sighed as he put his face in his hands. This was going to be a very long detention. Harry Potter was currently saying goodbye to his friends Ron and Hermione up in the Gryffindor common room. They had been there when Snape had given him the detention, and so there was no need to talk about it. They knew Harry hadn't really done anything wrong, and that it was probably just an excuse to take points away from Gryffindor, in favor of his own House, Slytherin. Harry waved them goodbye and headed down towards the dungeons, grumbling the whole time. He was 13 now, and this was the start of his third year at Hogwarts, and so far it wasn't going all that well. Aparantly, there was some madman out to get him for no reason at all, and not only that, but Snape was as mean as ever! He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he walked, ignoring the many moving and talking paintings around him, his mind too preoccupied at the moment to notice much of anything. He passed by Nearly Headless Nick without a word, which was unusual as Harry usually liked to stop and talk to his House Ghost. Today though, he just wasn't in the mood. He pushed the door open to the Potions Classroom when he arrived, closing it behind him quietly. "Hello Professor." he said quietly, walking up to the desk and looking up at him, wondering just what his punishment would be that evening.Snape looked up as Harry spoke. From that distance he looked like James so Snape pulled himself together, trying to focus on the fact that this was about punishment. He rose from his seat, looking at Harry with eyes that were hard as an angry snake. "Evening Potter," he hissed, not even going to add good to that sentence. There was nothing good about that evening especially not with Potter. Snape moved around his desk his eyes still staring at Harry although trying to avoid Harry's green eyes. "Your late, of course," he said, "which will means I will be deducting ten points from Gryffindor for you insolence." It was a sharp blow of course, trying to keep his voice as unemotional as he could. He enjoyed taking the blow against the Gryffindors, the lousy lot. But as Snape lifted his head he found himself looking at Harry's eyes, those beautiful green eyes. Snape found himself being flooded with memories of Lilly. Damn it! This is what he had promised himself he wouldn't do. He wouldn't allow himself to feel anything except anger at the boy. But how could he feel the anger when those eyes made him so sad. His heart ached as he looked away. "Sit down Potter," He instructed. "You will begin by cleaning all the cauldrons, making sure that they are scrubbed completely clean." Of course it was the perfect punishment that day due to the fact that they had been working on the worst smelling potions that week. It was a job he was sure even those Weasley twins would have hated. Snape grabbed a brush from his desk and then moved over to Harry holding it out to the young boy. "I will remove five points from your house for any muttering of complaints or for any sounds," he warned. "If you decide to make this whole thing even more difficult for both of us I will be happy to make you also go out and find some smelly mung root." Harry sighed a little when the points were taken away, and he nodded, wincing at the harsh tone of the other. He took the brush, looking up at him almost defiantly. He'd always thought that looking away while you were being punished was a sign of weakness, or admittance of guilt or something of that sort. Harry knew he wasn't guilty, and thus, he maintained eye contact as best he could. "Yes sir." he said, his voice soft and emotionless. He stood at the front table, starting in on the first cauldron. He sighed softly and screwed up his nose, the smell from the remaining potion was dreadful. He scrubbed at it until the damn thing was clean, making his way over to the second, then the third. After a while, Harry had completely finished the cleaning, it only taking him about half an hour considering he was used to doing stuff like this anyways. He'd spent most of his life as a sort of maid for the Dursley's after all, so the simple task of cleaning out cauldrons wasn't that much to him. "I'm all finished Professor." he said, walking up to the desk and placing the brush on it, looking up at him with those big green eyes. "What's next?"Snape was looking down at his papers when Harry approached. "Well Potter, that was quick," he said lifting his head, "I would think that you didn't work all that hard to-" Snape had forgotten to keep away from those eyes because he found himself looking straight at them. This time was so very bad because Potter was the more closer then before, standing in front of the desk giving Snape a perfect view of those brilliant green eyes. This was very bad indeed as Snape felt his heart beating quickly and he was sure that he became much paler then he usually was. Those eyes, like brilliant emeralds sparkling with life and beauty that Snape felt as if he was looking at Lilly's face again. He couldn't stop looking at them, all the memories of Lilly Evans came flooding back to him. Dear god he could feel his body begin to react as he began to feel himself start to sweat. It took Snape a moment to realize that he had been silent for a long period of time. In embarrassment he quickly stood up coughing. "Go to your seat Potter!" he ordered, trying not to look at those eyes. "Just sit there quietly, don't say a word do you hear me?" Snape wanted to run. His heart was beating quickly and his whole body was reacting. He couldn't meet Potter's eyes. If he did then he would have lost it. He was near to loosing it already. He wasn't sure what he would do if he saw those eyes again. Harry sighed a little and sat down, keeping his mouth shut. He looked over at the Potion's Master now and again, but quickly would look back down at the desk he was sitting at after a moment or two. Honestly, Harry was slightly fascinated by the man. He was so tall and pale, with that long dark hair...And his nose. It looked to have been broken at some point, and that made Harry curious as to how it had happened. Not only that, but he couldn't help but find someone who hated him so easily and for no apparent reason to be...well...interesting! It was just then that there were some very loud crashes out in the hall. Harry jumped at the first noise, and looked back towards the door, then back at Snape. He didn't say anything, though, not sure which he was more scared of, the strange noises or Snape's wrath. The source of the noise was actually Peeves, the school poltergeist. He had decided to play a prank on the Potions Master that evening, not really knowing or caring that Harry was in there as well. Hell, if he did know it wouldn't matter. He had gathered up all the heavy suits of armor as well as plenty of desks and chairs and stacked them against the door, blocking the two of them in the classroom. Not only that, but he'd plugged up all the vents that pumped magically cooled air into the room as well, which would soon make the classroom start to feel like a sauna.Snape cursed as he heard the door close. He at first looked over to Potter but the boy hadn't moved an inch. It wasn't as if he could have closed the door. "PEEVES!" Snape cried out angrily. The ghost knew he wasn't suppose to be running around in Snapes dungeons, especially not in the potions classroom. It didn't matter if it was the Slytherin house ghost! Peeve was nearly annoying as the Gyffindors! It was suddenly becoming very hot in the room and Snape cursed as he rose. "Stay there!" he ordered Harry. He marched over to the door and pulled on the handle. At first he pulled normally but then he pulled as hard as he could. The door was stuck! "PEEVES!" Snape cried out again. The only answer he got was a high pitched laughter. Snape pulled out his wand, hoping to use some magic but then he paused. Snape groaned. He cursed himself for putting that magical lock that couldn't be unbroken by magic. He had put it on to keep people from entering without his permission but now.... Snape could already feel himself begin to sweat through his long robes. The temperature was rising even higher, to where it seemed nearly unbearable. The usually cool dungeon was starting to feel like a steam room. Snape walked quickly back to his desk. "Potter," he said, seriousness in his voice. "I'm afraid that we maybe trapped and it's getting very hot." Snape hoped that his face suddenly burning was because of the heat. He began to remove his long flowing robes leaving himself in his black ensemble. "I suggest that you remove your robes as well before it gets too hot," he said. He hated the boy but he didn't want the boy to die of heat stroke. Harry stood up when the other ordered him to disrobe, his mind taking it in all the wrong directions at first. He did, though, as his bangs were already starting to stick to his forehead from the sweat forming there. He undid the clasp that held them on and let them pool around his ankles before stepping out of them, hanging them on the back of his chair. He sat back down, still slightly afraid to speak as the other had ordered him not to, gazing over at him. After a while, he was starting to sweat even more, and his white shirt was sticking to him and becoming quite wet. At this point, you could see his chest pretty clearly through the fabric, his pink nipples showing through. Harry stared over at his professor once more and finally decided to break the silence. "P-professor Snape, I'm sorry I know you told me not to talk but...It's so hot." he said softly, a drip of sweat sliding down off of his nose as he spoke. "M-may I...May I remove my shirt sir?"Snape was use to wearing a lot of clothes. He wasn't the kind of man who like to show off his body. He had never been very strong and he was never very muscular and in a dungeon where it was cool even during the summer months Snape wore plenty of layers to keep his body hidden. Unfortunately at this point in time, with the heat still rising, Snape was actually starting to think it wasn't a good idea to have worn so many layers. He couldn't have know Peeves would play such a joke but still. Snape loosened his shirt as Harry spoke. Snape looked over at the boy again and he found himself not only looking at those beautiful green eyes but also at how the young man's shirt was hanging off his body. He had never realized how well built Harry was to tell the truth. He probably had never noticed because he didn't want to even think how the son of James would be as good looking as his father. Snape looked away quickly, grabbing a hold of the underside of his desk in order to focus himself. "Alright Potter!" he said, trying to not to let his voice falter. "You may remove your shirt!" Taking off his shirt actually sounded like a good idea to Snape as well but his chest wouldn't quiet as attractive as Potters. But with the heat Snape soon could no longer take it and began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt because of his sweaty fingers. He soon had removed his shirt leaving himself in an actual white t-shirt. It wasn't something he would have normally showed off, wearing something so muggle as t-shirt. Of course it was drenched with his sweat allowing anyone to see through it. Oh the indignity. Snape tried his best not to look at Potter, trying his best just to focus on thinking of a way out of their perdicerment. But he couldn't stop his eyes as he glanced over at Potter. As he looked at the handsome boy all sweat and hot, he felt something happen to his body that he hadn't felt in years. He felt his heart begin to beat faster and his pants become tighter. He felt as if he should demand that Harry put his clothes back on but how could he?Harry nodded, thankful that he'd been given permission. He stood up and unbuttoned his white shirt easily, tugging it off and laying it over top of his robes, running his hands over his chest to wipe some sweat away, which was a bit of a mistake. That only made his nipples grow hard, and a strange reaction happen to him as well. The idea of stripping before the taller and older male turned him on for reasons he could only start to imagine. He looked up at the other, and seeing him in that drenched white shirt only made his pants grow even tighter. Harry quickly sat down, his hands balling into fists and resting against his lap. He really couldn't feel that way about...Snape...could he? I mean, Snape was mean and vicious and...oh...so damn sexy...Wait...what? Sexy? He wasn't! But...but he was... Harry was so confused now, and his eyes returned to the other, which only made him strain tightly in his pants. "P-professor." he said softly. "How are we going to get out of here, exactly? I mean...we can't just stay in here forever can we?"Snape's mind had drifted away for a moment. He found himself focusing on Harry's entire being but mostly his lips. Those pouty lips that were attached to that sexy young body. Potter's lips looked so untouched, probably had never even been near another's lips before. James was always joking about how he could have any girl he wanted and Snape had begrudgingly knew that James was probably could have. But Harry was somewhat of an awkward boy. He didn't seem like the kind of person to be interested in girls or even boys for that matter. Snape wondered what it would have been like to kiss those lips, just steal Harry's first kiss from him. Then he realized that Harry was talking to him and he quickly brought himself back. "I'm thinking Potter!" he snapped feeling his pants tighten. He quickly looked away. How could he focus on escaping with Harry whining all the time?! If Potter was half the wizard his father was he would have thought of a way out of there. Did he really just think that?! Snape knew he was going mad from the heat because he was now thinking crazy things. Snape looked over at Harry again and now his eyes were traveling downwards to the boy's pants. They were snug, cut to magic fit correctly as all the male students were. They fit around Harry's arse so well, tailored for that beautiful... Dear gods, Snape was turning into a pervert who was liked looking at a minor! "What the hell am I doing?" Snape asked himself, under his breath. This was so wrong! This was one of his students! Not only one of his students but the son of James and Lilly Potter! Harry Potter was known through out the school as a hero and here Snape was contemplating molesting this child. And Snape couldn't stop himself. Soon he was even moving closer to Harry, his eyes looking over the boy's body more and more. He couldn't stop himself. He looked at the boy's pants. "You seem to be having some difficulty with your pants Potter," he remarked.Harry watched the other, wincing at the harshness of his voice. Harry just stood there, waiting for him to come up with something. Of course, by now, Harry would've blown down the door if he was in Snape's position, but he wasn't going to suggest anything. He knew Snape would probably just call him dumb or take points away for having such a stupid idea or something of that nature. However, when the other moved closer and looked down a him, his body stiffened, his quidditch toned muscles rippling a little. He felt his cheeks burning as they grew red from that remark about his pants. "W-what do you mean, Professor?" he asked, trying to play innocent. Oh gods, had Snape really noticed his hard on? If he had, what was Harry going to do? What COULD he do? He very well couldn't admit that the sight of the other getting undressed, and having been ordered to strip himself had caused it! He would probably get detention for the rest of the year for lusting after one of his teachers, not to mention lose about three hundred points for Gryffindor! All he could do was deny it...right?Snape could have blown the door down although it would have meant destroying school property...and it wouldn't have worked because it was magically sealed. By that time Snape was hardly focused on the that anymore as he was more focused on Harry. The way the boy blushed made something burn inside of Snape. He look so innocent, so young and untouched. Harry had always seemed like his father, so dirty with a mind that was always plotting. But looking at him now Snape could see how innocent the boy was, so unlike his father. He was all red with those eyes sparkling. Snape couldn't help himself. "I mean your pants look awfully tight Potter," Snape said. "Why don't you take them off?" Did he just ask Harry to take off his pants? This wasn't just wrong it was illegal! Harry was a minor, Snape could be put in Azkaban for the rest of his life for suggesting such things. But in this situation what was the harm. He and Harry were both males trapped in a very hot room nearly going to die of heat stroke. Harry could die if his body didn't cool down. But then again if just Harry got undressed it would look bad. "Here," Snape said, reaching down to his own pants. "I'll take mine off as well. Come on Potter, we're both men here!" Snape realized as he dropped his pants that he had nearly forgotten all about the buldge in his pants and the fact that it now would have been very visible in his underwear. He tried his best to keep an arm over it as he removed his pants. Harry immediately looked away. He couldn't deny a request from Snape for fear that it would cost him dearly, and yet at the same time, he desperately wanted to just run away. He didn't know what the other was going to do when he saw how turned on he was by the whole situation, but he didn't really have much of a choice at this point. So, reluctantly, he undid the belt buckle then the button, and zipper. He tugged down his pants, having to bend over and step out of them, placing them with the rest of his clothing. He was now standing there in his tight white undies, black socks, and sneakers. His bulge was very evident, and there was even a small wet spot of pre cum already soaking through his underwear. He finally allowed himself to look over at the other, and his eyes full upon Snape's erection as well, which only caused him to blush even more and look away again. The other was...turned on as well? What did that mean!? Snape had said it himself, they were both men. They...shouldn't be turned on by one another, should they? He looked up at the other, his eyes wide and curious now. He didn't quite know what to do or what to say. Part of him wanted to fall on his knees and worship the man before him, yet another part of him was scared. Harry was a virgin, he had never done anything with a boy or a girl, and the few times he'd touched himself, his mind had always been in places that embarrassed him to admit to. So, he'd just avoided that whole thing all together, finding it easier to focus on other things such as school or his friends. Though now, he was being forced to think about the fact that he only lusted after boys and men, and that was...scary.All of this was just wrong! Snape was a teacher, a man whom others trusted with their children! He wasn't a child molester and he was most certianly not a child rapist! Harry was a minor and jail bate as people would say. Snape was not suppose to be thinking about having sex with this boy! Suddenly Snape remembered something. He was a wizard and he could cast spells! He could cool the room down with a spell. He quickly went back to his pants grabbing out his wand from his pocket. He just waved his magic wand and said the words. Soon a cool air began to blow through the room. Snape could feel his skin cooling already. Of course he had forgotten what happens when a cool front hits a warm front in nature. Suddenly it began to rain down on their heads, and all over their clothes. Well, it was cooler. Snape cursed as he quickly said another spell making a umbrella appear over their heads. Now they were naked and wet and Potter...Potter now looked hotter then ever, his glasses all fogged up and his body now damp. Now Snape could see right through the boy's underwear to that little cock and that little arse. Snape quickly looked away. But now Potter could see his cock as well, through his underwear. He couldn't really hide it. And here Potter was looking at him as if he was all innocent! "Stop looking at me like that boy!" he ordered. Harry was just asking for it with his face looking like that. He was just looking as if wanted to be raped. He also looked rather cold, now all damp with goosebumps on his skin. Now the boy was going to get hypothermia. Snape sighed deeply. He was going to regret this. "Come here Potter," he said opening his arms. He didn't want the boy getting sick. Harry let out a soft squeak when the cold water began to fall over his previously nearly burning hot skin. He felt his body forming goosebumps, and his glasses fogged up completely, cutting off his vision. He reached up to wipe them clean with his fingers but that only smudged them. Great, now his vision was all blurred up. He pulled off his glasses and set them down on the table, squinting over at Snape when the other said for him to come closer. He took a few steps forward until he bumped into the man, his body tensing again as he felt the bulge of Snape's erection pressing against his own. He looked up at him curiously, starting to lose his inhibitions a little. He was just so god damned horny, and it was starting to fog up his brain! He gently pressed his cold cheek to the man's warm chest, holding his hands up between his own chest and the other's, his forearms pressing onto his abdomen. He stood like that for a few moments, just warming up against the other until he finally got up the courage to open his mouth and speak. "Why is my body reacting this way?" he asked, knowing he must sound quite stupid. But, Snape was a teacher. He should know these things, right? Harry for sure didn't completely understand it. All he knew was that he was overwhelmed with the desire to do anything the man asked of him. The idea of completely submitting to him in every way possible made his cock throb almost painfully, and it was driving him insane!Snape wasn't sure why he was holding Harry, wrapping his arms around the boy. He knew that body heat was the best way to warm a cold body but at the same time he knew that his hard on was rubbing against a 13 year old boy's hard on. Of course they were both probably hard for different reasons because the boy couldn't be attracted to him! Harry despised him just like his father had. Then Harry had asked that stupid question. Snape looked down at him. "I'm your potions teacher Potter," he said rather coldly. "I'm not your health teacher!" Nor was he Harry's parent and he wasn't going to give the boy a lesson in the birds and the bees. But Harry kept looking at him and Snape groaned. "It's a natural reaction," he said, "you are at the age of puberty! Your body is reacting to all sorts of new stimuli. It's only natural that you get an erection." Now Snape did sound like a health teacher. He also sounded as if it was a natural reaction although the situation was anything but normal. He could feel Harry's 'erection' press against him further and he knew that he couldn't take it any more. He was ending this right now. He looked down at Harry again, reaching one hand down to Harry's underwear. He took the buldge in his hand and cupped Harry under his balls. "Potter," he said, "have you ever masturbated before?" Harry didn't look like the type to have wanked off before. Snape could remember how difficult it was in the dorms with all the people sleeping around him. It was difficult even in the baths to find time to touch one's self. By the way Harry's cock felt, Snape was sure the kid was going to get blue balls if something didn't happen soon. Snape got down on his knees in front of Harry, his eyes looking up at the boy's face with a great deal of seriousness. "You are to never speak of this to anyone, you hear me?!" he said. He then began to carefully peal down Harry's underwear allowing Harry's erection to pop free. It wasn't very big. Snape's hand fit pretty well around it as he began to stroke up and down.Harry winced once more when Snape snapped at him like that, but much to his surprise, he did eventually explain that it wasn't that unusual for him to react this way. Then, Snape did something even more surprising. He got down and tugged Harry's undies down to his knees, his erection springing free and slapping against his flat tummy. "I..I tried once or twice but I couldn't do it properly." he admitted, feeling his body start to tremble as the other moved his hand up and down his small erection. He spread his legs apart slightly, standing with his feet shoulder width apart, his hands moving to the other's shoulders to steady himself. He had closed his eyes, his cheeks tinting even darker now, lips staying slightly parted as Snape moved his hand over him. "I-I promise Professor, I won't tell." he managed to squeak out before he began to lose himself in the sensations of it. He gripped the other's shoulders more tightly, and his mind began to flood itself with images of the two together, doing a variety of things, but most ending up with Harry in some way pleasuring Snape. With his hand, his mouth, usually after being bent over and spanked for breaking some kind of rule or another. It didn't take too long before Harry came, spurting out a few milky white ropes of semen onto the other's hand, just a bit landing across his cheek. Harry was panting heavily now, leaning fully onto the other for support, his legs going weak. It had felt so good, and his body felt so spent that he knew soon he'd collapse if the other hadn't been supporting his weight.Snape couldn't believe he was doing this! He was giving a hand job to one of his students, and Harry Potter no less! He was lucky it was just handjob because his own hard on was getting even harder with Potter's little moans and his little face looking so hot with each stroke. While Harry was caught up in his own little world Snape reached down into his own pants and began to stroke his own length, stroking it in time with the hand stroking Harry. He wasn't surprised as the boy came first considering this was probably Potter's first time having cumming. Snape had to stroke himself a bit more before he let out a groan, his underwear becoming soaked with his own cum. Suddenly the door opened and Snape jumped. He thought that someone would have been on the other side but then he heard the sound of a cackling laugh and Snape growled. "Peeves!" he cried wishing he could strangle the ghost to death...again! Of course he had more pressing matter as both his hands were covered in white stickiness, from himself and Potter. He quickly removed his hand from Potter's body, standing and looking at Harry with all the seriousness int he world. "We are never to speak of this again!" he ordered. "I want you to get cleaned up and get back to your dorm, now!" It was late and Snape could have deducted points but more then anything he just wanted Harry gone before anything else happened! Snape quickly gathered his own clothes, quickly pulling on his pants and his shirt and moving quickly to the door in the back of the room that lead to his office. He needed some time alone as he quickly stormed into his office and slammed the door behind him. He rubbed the hand with his own cum on his pants, wanting to so much forget that moment had ever happened... And yet when it came to the hand with Harry's cum on it, Snape hesitated to wipe it away. He looked at the sticky clear substance on his hand. He couldn't believe that it was Harry Potter's cum on his hand. Snape brought it to his lips and licked his fingers. He was actually tasting Harry Potter's cum. It was salty with just a bit of sweet innocence. What the heck was he doing?! Snape quickly pulled his hand away from his mouth and wiped his hand. He was loosing his mind! He would never ever think of this moment again... Harry jumped when Peeves blasted the door open, and felt himself stumble. He quickly pulled on his clothing, his face never ceasing to burn from that damn blush that just would not leave his cheeks. He didn't even bother to pull on his robes over top of his wet shirt and pants. He just wanted to get back to his room so he could sort out everything that had happened in his mind. It wasn't long before the 11 year old boy was stripping off his clothes once more, this time in his own dorm room. The other boys were already sleeping, so Harry stripped his clothes off completely, muttering a basic cleansing charm over his body so that he could skip the shower, before pulling on his pajamas. He lay down, pulling the curtains of his four poster bed closed around himself as he stared up at the ceiling. Him, and the teacher he hated very most in the school had just...Harry didn't know exactly what to make of it to be honest. Obviously, Snape had been attracted to him. Otherwise he wouldn't have been hard like he was. Also, his body didn't just get hard ons for no reason. Usually, it took quite a lot for his body to react that way. Not only that, but then there were the images his mind had been flooding while Snape had touched him. Those images that made him come so hard. He didn't quite know why, exactly, he had seen such things, but even now, just thinking about them again and re-living them in his mind was making his erection return full force. Unfortunately for him, this was no place to take care of that. Well, the setting was wrong for one thing, but for another, Harry doubted he could do it nearly as well as Snape had. So, forcing himself to ignore it as best as he could, Harry rolled over and eventually, managed to will himself to sleep.