Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Cape of Storms ❯ Chapter 3: My cries swallowed up ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Cape of Storms
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Lucius/Harry Severus/Harry
Category: Drama, romance, slash
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Drama SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Harry Potter or its chars. They are property of JK Rowling and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

SPOILERS AHEAD! You have been warned!

Cape of Storms

Chapter 3: My cries swallowed up

I stood in my bedroom looking around to make sure that everything I needed was packed away in my trunk, the same trunk I had used when I had attended Hogwarts myself.

Cid sat next to Hedwig on her perch sleeping quietly, a stark rainbow next to Hedwig's pale white feathers. Together they were an odd work of art.

I threw a few more pairs of socks into my trunk as well as all of the many books I had collected over the years as well as a few more that had recently found their way into my possession thanks to Minerva making a spectacle out of my teaching there by announcing it to every newspaper in the wizarding world at the re-opening ceremony. I am grateful for the many books, they shall come in handy when deciding on what lessons to teach and when researching new ideas and theories.

I sighed for the fourth time since I had started packing and slammed my trunk shut. Anything I forgot would just have to be retrieved during winter break. Would there be a winter break? Would I get to see the snow fall this year? Would I get to see the birth of Hermione and Ron's child?

I felt my chest constrict and my breath hitch. I struggled to shove my trunk off my bed so that I could lie down. When convulsing it helps to have somewhere very soft to do it. I could have been killed quite a few times during my attacks. I can't say for sure how many times I've hit my head on the floor or other objects because I never remember what happens during my attacks but I sure as hell remember the feel of each and every bump, bruise, cut and gash in my body when I wake and for the days after.

I managed to shove the trunk onto the floor and lay down on the bed just as I feel my body begin to shake uncontrollably. Everything got blurry and the only sound that I heard was Cid's incessant squawking as it faded into a single tone, like that on the television when it done broadcasting at night or when the emergency broadcast system is being tested. All light faded as the fuzziness got thicker and darker and then there was nothingness.

I heard muffled voices and I immediately shot up out of bed.

The sound of my abrupt waking and the suddenness of it must have startled whomever was in the room because the sound of glass shattering sounded and then I had three sets of familiar eyes on me.

"Did you have a nice nap Mr. Potter," asked the Severus in his usual monotone voice full of snarky undertones.

I stared at him and debated on how to answer. Instead of answering I turned at the rooms other two occupants, Minerva McGonagall and Poppy Pomphrey.

Poppy stood with some concoction in her hand, most likely something horrible for me to ingest. She had a look of calculating impatience in place of her usual playful and all business look. Minerva had a look of concern. I turned back to look at Severus and then back to the other two before I lay back against my pillows.

"Do you remember what happened Potter," asked Severus.

"Harry," I said crossing my arms.

"Fine! Do you remember what happened Harry," said Severus.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, "I was packing my trunk and I started feeling dizzy. I knocked my trunk off of my bed and lay down and that's all I remember."

Severus stared into my now open eyes and I fought not to squirm under his scrutiny. I stared into those ebony depths and felt myself trapped in them. Sinking deeper and deeper into those black inky pools with no hope of escaping. I felt my chest ache but for a different reason.

"Your lucky Severus had stopped by," said Poppy as she walked over and handed me the concoction filled vile in her hand.

I stared at it and suddenly I had the urge to run away.

"Don't glare at it, drink it."

I turned my glare on Poppy but it didn't work. I never was very intimidating to those who knew me. Since it hadn't worked I lifted the vile to my lips and downed it as fast as I could swallow. I held out the vile for Poppy to take but she shook her head, "There's still some at the bottom."

I glared at her and then the vile. I lifted the vile to my mouth once more and let the remaining amount crawl down the vile and into my throat. I tapped the vile for good measure and then swallowed, fighting my gag reflex as I handed the vile back to Poppy.

She patted me on the head, ruffling my hair for good measure before she walked back over to her dragon skin medical bag putting the vile inside.

"How long have you been having these seizures," asked Severus suddenly.

I stared at my hands as if they were the most interesting things I had ever seen, "What do you mean?"

I heard gasps and Minerva's surprised, "oh my heavens" and then I felt three pairs of eyes boring into my skin once again.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," and in truth I didn't because there was never any memory of what happened when I blacked out and only Merlin knows what he saw when he entered.

"When I entered your room you were convulsing and your body was thrashing around wildly. If I hadn't come when I did you could hit your head on the corner of your dresser and bled to death."

"Then I shall count my blessings and thank any deity that is listening and you for the fact that you arrived on time."

"Has this happened before," asked Poppy.

"Not that I'm aware of," I lied with an over dramatized worried look plastered on my face.

"Perhaps you should get tested and have a thorough exam..."

"I'm fine Poppy. If anything else should happen I will come straight to you, my favorite mediwitch. Now shall I grab my bags and floo to Hogwarts?"

I was willing to do anything but that. The last thing I needed was the rest of the wizarding world knowing that their savior was dying. I didn't want to be in the news anymore and I sure as hell didn't want to end up an experimental pin cushion for the wizarding medical world or any type of medical facility or care in the wizarding or muggle world.

They all gave me calculating looks before Minerva sighed, "I suppose its better to leave now and have you at Hogwarts where we can keep a close eye on you and your health."

I smiled brightly and stood up and was about to grab my trunk when Severus pulled out his wand and waved it causing my trunk to levitate behind him.

"I'll grab Hedwig and Cid," I said as I walked over to the cage, closed the door and then smiled brightly.

"And now to lock up the house!"

They watched as I raised my wand and softly whispered an incantation in Latin and with that the sound of windows shutting, doors shutting and the clacking and clicking of locks resounding throughout my small beach home.

"Let's be off!"

With that I followed behind Minerva and Poppy who still wore worried looks, into the fire place. I watched them go ahead of me and then I grabbed a handful of floo powder and did the same. I landed with yet another thump that jarred my leg. I was now regretting the fact that I packed my cane away in my trunk.

I limped out of the fireplace and into a large room that contained two other small rooms. I stood in a sunlit room surrounded by book shelves and already stocked with books. I twirled around once and then twice to get the full view. I heard someone land in my fireplace and turned to see a soot covered Severus with my trunk.

"Thank you for the help Severus. These rooms are beautiful and a lot bigger than I imagined."

"This room belonged to a Professor that had a family. The castle usually changes each room to suit the individual person so why it remained the same is in itself a mystery."

"Then it certainly suits me. A mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery."

I saw the corners of his mouth curve up in what I knew to be a small smile before they returned to their normal resting place and fought the urge to pat myself on the back. I think the saying fits him as well.

I watched as he lowered my trunk and then whisked his wand to some unknown place within his black billowy clothes. I couldn't help but stare. The man was very handsome and the mysterious and brooding quality of his personality drew me to him instead of the opposite effect he was going for. I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to see a full smile grace that gloomy face and reach those eyes which seemed piercing in their intensity. I wanted to see tears fall from those inky depths and catch in his thick dark lashes. Not just tears of sadness but of happiness and laughter as well. I wanted to hear every insult and come back he makes. And most of all...I want to see his body, his entire body and explore with my fingers. I want to memorize every line, wrinkle, scar, bump, hair, mole, freckle, curve and muscle so that I could commit it to memory.

I realized I had been starring and immediately flushed with heat from my neck to my cheeks and ears. I put a smile in place and laughed.

"Did I miss a joke," he asked with a neutral voice.

"No sir, I mean Sev, I mean Severus," only he could make me stumble over such simple words.

"I was just a tad bit embarrassed because it seems you've once again caught me day dreaming. I must break myself of this habit. It would be quite embarrassing if I happened to do it in front of a class."

"Yes it would. Now if you're done starring at my body, shall I show you around your room or would you prefer to explore it yourself?"

"I think I'll explore it and start setting my things in their places but when I'm done and if you're not busy I would like to treat you to tea in thanks for your help."

He bowed his head and gave me a slight grin of sorts, "You can fire call me or simply send your owl. Don't send the parrot. If he sets a wing in my chambers I shall find out if tastes as horrible as he looks."

I laughed and walked him towards the door, "But I believe that Cid adores you. Don't you Cid?"

"Greasy git! Greasy git!"

"CID?"

I turned to look at the colorful annoyance that turned his head innocently blinking his eyes and cawing softly.

"Where in the world did you learn that?"

"You'd be surprised what they pick up from others," Severus responded.

"I swear to Merlin and Goddrick Gryffindor that I have said no such thing."

He smiled! SMILED! And then he stepped out into the hallway, "I never said you did."

He shut my door behind him leaving me very shocked and yet very curious.

I shrugged and turned to look at Cid who proceeded with his innocent act and began grooming his wings.

I sighed and started unpacking my things. I looked up at the large grandfather clock that hung above the fireplace and watched the pendulum swing back and forth as it played a haunting melody upon striking four. I stretched and decided that I would risk it and took out my wand and with a few flicks of the wrist I had my books shelved, clothes in my dresser, and robes in my wardrobe and everything else in its proper place. I flicked my wand one more time and caught my cane as it flew into my hand. I stuck my wand inside and then used it to help me walk since my leg was still aching. Walking around the room to put things away hadn't helped it any.

I walked over to the corner where a large black barred cage sat and opened the door, latching it so that it stayed open. I then hobbled over to Hedwig's cage and opened it holding out my arm. Cid was the first to crawl up my arm and onto my shoulder in a walk that reminded me of myself, while Hedwig on the other hand walked out very delicately and perched on my arm. I walked to the middle of the room and turned facing the cage.

"That'll be your new home while we're here. It's a lot roomier than your other cage and even though you can't fly over the beach anymore you once again get to fly over Hogwarts."

Hedwig hooted softly and I smiled, "So would you like to go to the owlery or go out to catch a meal or would you rather turn in for the night?"

She spread her wings wide, her silent way of saying outside. I walked over to the window and unlatched it, pushing it wide open. I looked outside at the view before me. I was high up and probably only a floor or two away from the towers and the owlery itself. I held out my arm and watched her flap and then lift up off my arm and soar out of the window and into the pale blue sky.

I turned to look at Cid who still sat perched on my shoulder, "Don't you want to go out as well?"

"Watch Harry. Watch Harry. Cids going to watch Harry."

I laughed and patted his head. I walked by the bookshelf and held my arm out so that he could climb down and perch on top of a globe. He did just that but kept his eyes on me as I walked over to the red velvet couch that was mine for the time being and sat down on it. I felt dizzy and slightly out of breath. I started wheezing and fought to keep my panic under control. It lasted only a moment and soon reverted to a fit of coughing. I covered my mouth just as the door slammed open and a something flew over me squawking loudly. I felt a hand on my shoulder and then two warm, large hands covered the sides of my face causing my coughing calm slowly and then stop. I opened my eyes a bit wider and saw the worried and panic stricken face of Severs starring at me while his thumbs rubbed the sides of face and forehead.

"Seems...you always...find me in the...most...embarrassing situations...Sev...Sever...Severu..."

"Sev, you can call me Sev! Just stop talking and conserve what bit of air your lungs are taking in. Sometimes I wonder if you've got the sense god gave a goose."

I smiled and leaned into those hands. I could die now and it wouldn't matter.

"I beg to differ. Don't go thinking or saying such stupid things Potter! Consider others."

I wasn't aware I had said that last part out loud but his reaction made me smile.

"Would you miss me," I asked.

He stared into my eyes as if he would find the answer to the many questions that were expressed in his own eyes. I smiled as I had asked it and yet...my eyes now felt hot and wobbly with tears.

"What are you keeping from me, Harry?"

I felt the tears leak from the corners of my eyes leaving warm wet trails down my cheeks and even though I felt embarrassed, relieved, saddened and lost all at the same time I kept my eyes on his as I sucked in a breath and began to sob. I felt his hands leave my face and I regretted my emotional display but then I felt the couch dip and strong warm arms wrap around me tightly as I cried. I buried my head in his soft robes and against his chest and I cried tears for myself for the first time since I had began going through this ordeal. I cried until only hiccups were left, my eyes were sore and heavy and I hadn't the strength to even blink or wiggle a finger let alone sit up.

I felt the rhythmic breathing of Sev's chest with every breath he took and basked in the scent of rosemary, thyme, oranges and the wind on a night when the clouds are heavy with rain. It was his Sev's smell, a smell I wanted to roll in to keep on me like I had seen my neighbor's dog do when playing in the trash. I felt the muscles in my mouth move as I smiled a small smile at the thought of Sev's reaction to such a thing.

"Feeling better, are we?"

I turned my head upward and looked at Sev through black bangs in an upside down manner, "I suppose tea won't cover this one will it?"

His arms tightened around me as he squeezed me playfully, "I should say not. I had to lie on this dreaded couch with my chest sodden wet for an hour. Although...I suppose there are worse things. Imagine the rumors if someone saw us right now."

"I imagine they would wonder whether we both prefer the company of men."

"And would you alleviate the worries of your fan club," asked Sev.

"I would have to break their hearts I'm afraid."

His chin that had rested atop my head now left and I despaired at the loss as I saw his face closer to mine his left arm turning my head so that he could look me in the eye.

"What about your marriage to Ginny," he asked.

"I married my best friend since the one I loved was out of reach," I replied softly.

"You can do far better than Mr. Weasley," he said with a sniff.

I chuckled, "I don't nor have I ever cared for Ron in any other than best friend and brother."

"I suppose that alleviates my worries for now. At least I won't have to teach a child with your genetics and his."

I laughed and closed my eyes as I imagined what a child with our combined looks and personality would be like.

"No, I tend to like older more mature men," I said snuggling against his chest.

"Oh, and might I know the one you like?"

"Yes, some might even say personally."

"And may I ask why you like this man," he said with a small amount of humor and curiosity.

"He's strong and strong willed. He's intelligent and witty and always has great comebacks. He's handsome and tall and has a great smile that touches his lips just slightly before he hides it away like some secret treasure. He is so mysterious and yet his eyes read like an open book."

"You seem quite infatuated," he said surprised.

"Not infatuated, in love."

My soft admission left me feeling afraid and thrilled at the same time as I waited for some sort of reply.

"Why haven't you said anything," he asked in a soft monotone.

"Because I am Harry Potter boy who lived and is always in the papers. I'm constantly in the public eye and everyone thinks because I am here to aide in their battle that I am actually theirs. To tell him would be painful in it self especially if he didn't accept and then if he did our relationship would be strained and hidden like some dirty secret and neither of us deserved that. Love is something that should be open and happy not like the noose that is slowly pulled tighter until you feel as though you can no longer breathe."

"So you were protecting yourself? Seems rather selfish."

"I lifted my arms and squeezed his arms where they still lay wrapped around my waist and left them there, "Yes, it is selfish but I'd rather be in pain than see what he would have to go through. He's a good man but others don't know this because he was blamed for so many wrongs in the past and a decision that was made when teenage pride ruled all. He would have been blamed for the relationship and everyday howlers would flood his mail while newspapers badmouthed him openly spreading horrible lies and rumors. Could you stand the thought of one you loved in a situation like that," I asked.

"Yes, because he would love me and I would love him..."

"And all you need is love," I said in a sing song voice.

He swatted my side and I laughed.

"So why admit to it now," he asked seriously.

"Because I'm no longer in the lime light and neither is he and time is too precious to waste."

It was quiet. It stayed quiet for a few seconds and then minutes and then I asked, "So do you feel the same?"

"Oh, you were talking about me," he asked innocently.

I sat up and made sure to purposely put my weight on his stomach, "Severus!"

He coughed for a moment and then turned serious eyes my way, "Do you?"

I felt his hand reach behind my head and push my head forcefully down until our lips were pressed together. I gasped in surprise and he took advantage, plundering my mouth. I was lost in the sensation as our tongues dueled until our lungs burned from lack of air.

We broke apart gasping. He was the first to regain his breath as he smirked up at me, "Does that answer your question?"

I nodded and flushed.

"Now, as much as I'd love to stay here I do have classes to prepare for and so do you. So I shall take a rain check for my payment."

I scooted off of his body and plopped back against the opposite side of the couch as I watched his sit up and then stand. He stood there making sure his robes were all in place before he walked towards the door which still remained open from his hasty entrance.

"Good night, Sev."

"Good night, Harry."

It was in his absence that I realized that Sev had quoted a Beatles song and I wondered if he owned any of their records, tapes or CD's. The very thought of him listening to the Beatles when no one was around made me smile.

To Be Continued...

This has to be the longest chapter I've ever written for any fanfic. I tried not to go to out of character but I think the music led me to it. Although we can all assume that after a year with a clear name and conscience Sev might begin to open up and change just a bit. No one can stay the same. I learned that from personal experience. I used to be VERY shy and now I happily walk through crowds and attend conventions filled with people. Complete 160 from the days where I would have panic attacks at the food court in the mall because of the crowd. Well enough for now.

Til next time.

Kat