Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Cape of Storms ❯ Chapter 6: Will I ever reach it? ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Cape of Storms
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Lucius/Harry Severus/Harry
Category: Drama, romance, slash
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Drama SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Harry Potter or its chars. They are property of JK Rowling and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

SPOILERS AHEAD! You have been warned!

Cape of Storms

Chapter 6: Will I ever reach it?

I found myself standing in a never-ending meadow filled with long thin grasses of various shapes, sizes and shades of green. Among the grasses were wild flowers as bright and clear as some of the colorful concoctions we often made in potions class except the smells were a whole lot better. Buttercups, dandelions, daisies and violets among a few of the flowers and I as stared out into the field I saw butterflies in every shade and color of the rainbow and they all seemed to flutter around a particular area. It was then that I saw a familiar figure.

She stood there as pale as I remembered with those bright freckles and an even brighter smile. Her long coppery hair blowing in the breeze as did her long white chiffon dress with the lace around the neck, chest and ends of the dress. She held a bouquet of buttercups and forget me not's tied together by a white and gold ribbon in her left hand, he right hand rested on her stomach in a very delicate manner.

I stared out at her and felt sorrow fill me as well as a deep happiness.

"Ginny..."

"Hello, Harry," she said with a gentle smile.

"I'm..."

"Don't you even say you're sorry! You've beaten yourself up enough over my death!"

"But...I miss you, I miss you so...much Ginny."

"I'm always with you Harry. I'll be in your heart and in your memories. I can live with that, why can't you?"

"It's my fault you died! MINE! I killed you!"

"HARRY POTTER! You did not make me jump in front of you! That was my decision, I decided to save the one I love and you go and cheapen my sacrifice by blaming yourself! Do I have to hit you a few times to make you see? Well, do I!"

I couldn't help but laugh. She was dead and yet she was still Ginny. Her hands on her hips and a fierce frown of disapproval on her face that reminded me of Mrs. Weasley.

"That's better! Stop this crying and get back there and finish living your life! He's waiting for you. You still have things to do like having children," she said with a smile.

"I can't have children Ginny, I'm a guy remember?"

"You'll see...go back to him Harry. Go live and stop trying to find death."

She walked towards me smiling brightly. She stopped once our bodies were touching and then leaned in placing a kiss on my lips. She leaned against me and wrapped her arms around me in a hug and placed her chin atop my shoulder, "Thank you, Harry. Thank you for loving me. I don't mind you showing your love for me but why don't you find a different place for that ring."

I watched as she pulled away and smiled brightly.

"Like where," I asked.

"You'll find a place. Now...go. And don't return until you're old and gray and have done everything you've ever wanted to do," she said as she pushed me.

Her push sent my falling backwards but instead of hitting the ground I continued to fall and as I fell I watched her smiling face looking down at me.

I felt a shock go through my body as I gasped, pulling much needed air into my lungs. I struggled to fill my lungs causing my body to go into a coughing fit as air once again filled my body. I opened my eyes and saw the teary eyed smile of Poppy above me. A million thoughts raced through my head and it was then that I felt a warm wetness on my right hand that made me look in that direction. I saw a familiar head of ebony hair over my hand and as I watched I saw drops of wetness fall onto my hand which was held in a gentle grip in his hands, as if he were cradling it.

I moved my thumb so that it brushed against his hands in what was meant to be a comforting gesture. His head shot up exposing those hallowed cheeks covered in falling tears. It was a sight I never thought I would live to see yet, somehow I had managed to. I stared into those relieved ebony pools and felt tears gathering in my own eyes.

"Sorry...Sev," I said in the softest and yet scratchiest voice to ever come from me.

He brought my hand to his lips and placed a kiss in my palm and I felt the tears in my eyes overflow and leave hot tickling trails down my cheeks.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I just didn't want to lose the chance to be with you."

"Harry, you need to rest. Your body has been through a lot. Rest. You can tell him more when you wake up."

I heard Poppy's words as if she was in a tunnel and it was then that I felt exhaustion pulling at my body. I fought to keep my eyes open for fear that if I closed them I wouldn't open them again.

"Sleep, Harry. I'll be here when you wake," said Sev in with a thick voice.

I closed my eyes and squeezed his hand just as the darkness pulled under.

I felt a weight on my chest and when I opened my eyes I saw two slitted golden eyes starring back at me from a face covered in colorful feathers.

"Wake up! Wake up! You'll miss first period!"

I glanced around the room and saw at least seven vases holding seven bouquets of colorful flowers of various types surrounding my enclosed and curtained off area. I moved to sit up causing Cid to squawk and take flight over the curtained area and I assumed out of the room. I reached onto the nightstand beside my bed and felt around until I had found my glasses which I quickly slid on.

I could now see what types of flowers were in each vase and they varied from roses and lilies to carnations and daisies. The whole room smelled...like death.

Whenever I smelled the scent of too many flowers in one room I thought of death. At Ginny's funeral there had been many flowers and although their scent was sweet and enchanting the reason they were being used wasn't. When I was around six or seven my Aunt Petunia's mother in law had passed away and since I was too young to be left alone and none of the neighbors at that time were available to baby-sit me I was forced to go for all three days. Three days of people in dress clothes standing around a coffin telling good and bad stories about the person who had died and three days of smelling the sickly sweet smell of flowers which permeated throughout the room and the underlying smell of death and decay.

I hadn't been too fond of the time spent there and in truth, neither had Dudley although I believe his reason had been something more along the lines of boredom more than the smell and fear of death.

I sighed and removed the warm blankets off of my body and slid my feet over the edge of the bed. I found that my feet were covered by a pair of warm socks which I was grateful for as I pushed myself into a standing position. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around my body as I parted the curtains on the side and walked through into the next curtained off area. I did the same until I passed the last curtained off area. I peeked outside and saw Poppy busying herself with a student who seemed to be coughing and sneezing. I counted my blessings as I snuck quietly towards the door and looked around hoping that no students were in the immediate area.

"And where do you think your going," I heard the all too familiar playful and yet reprimanding voice of Remus Lupin ask.

I turned to look behind me and saw not only Remus but also the un-amused looks of Minerva and now Poppy.

"I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I said the loo," I asked with a hopeful smile.

"No, because that's in the opposite direction," said Minerva as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Now, please answer Remus' question," said Poppy.

"I just needed a little bit of air."

"Well that's good. You've gotten it and now you can hop right back into that bed," said Poppy.

"Only if you take the flowers away," I answered sternly.

They gave me quizzical looks.

"It smells like a funeral parlor in there. I would like the flowers removed."

"That can easily be solved, now, back in bed!"

I stood there hesitating, wondering why I didn't really want to be in that bed and nothing came to mind except the smell of flowers and the fact that I just didn't want to be in bed.

"Harry?"

I felt tired and weak and yet I wanted to go out and do something, anything other than sitting or lying in that bed. I felt annoyed and aggravated. I felt depressed, lost, sad and angry and yet none of these emotions had to do with anyone around me. Inside I felt childish but I couldn't stop the flow of emotions as I shook my head no and walked towards the door and then through it. I heard the footsteps behind me but I didn't care I kept walking until I had reached my rooms. I shouted the password and stepped inside and dropped my blanket in the process as I went over to the fireplace and lifted the glass bowl that held the floo powder and sent it flying across the room and crashing against the far wall. I watched as ash and powder flew everywhere causing small smoke clouds. I then lifted books and hurled them across the room along with knick knacks and anything that was within reach. I continued until I was gasping for breath.

I began coughing and my body shook with small tremors that were bad enough that I could not lift my hand to wipe away the tears in my eyes.

"Why? WHY? WHY?"

No one answered and I stared at my shaking hands and wondered why Ginny had sent me back. I could feel my body dying. I had felt it back at my house on the shore and for some stupid reason I had decided to return to Hogwarts and to those who I loved knowing full well I was dying. Why? Why had I done it? I didn't want them to see me like this. I didn't want to end up in a hospital bed for what was left of my life and I didn't want to cause others pain and yet I had willingly come and it was my fault that things were happening in the exact same manner that I hadn't wanted them to.

"Why," I asked again with all the sorrow and confusion evident in my voice.

"Because it is an animals nature to hide itself away when it senses death, not a humans. Most people crave the company of others. They fear death and they fear being alone," said Remus softly.

"I didn't want any of you to see me like this. I wanted to die alone in my cabin by the sea in the hopes that you would remember me when I could walk or smile not me convulsing on the floor spitting up blood."

"You're human Harry. Being human is nothing to be ashamed of," said Remus from directly behind me.

My legs gave out and I fell to the floor. I must have been a sorry sight to behold.

"I just wanted to be with him, I didn't want to hurt him. I'm so...selfish."

Arms wrapped around me and I found myself sobbing against a muscled and warm chest.

"I was content to die alone until I received that letter. I could have spared us all a lot of trouble of hurt."

"Stop talking such pigheaded nonsense this instant! I'll have you know that is as far from the truth as it gets! Do you know how much it would have hurt us all to know that you had died alone when you have so many who care for you? We would have blamed ourselves for your death just like you blamed yourself for Ginny's. Just because we weren't there to watch you die doesn't mean that we wouldn't feel just as guilty. With you here at least we can do something!"

"Minerva is right, brat," I heard a snide voice reply.

I turned and looked up into Sev' emotionless face and saw bags under his red and swollen eyes.

"Any luck Severus," asked Minerva.

I watched as he shook his head, "Afraid not Minerva. I'll keep trying. I won't stop until we find a result that's to my liking."

Poppy smiled at my confused frown as she walked in and stood beside Severus, "Our dear Severus has spent every free moment studying various potions that cure seizures and with your latest problem we now have a dilemma on our hands and so Severus has been staying up late and helping me with research."

I felt my chest constrict. He hadn't been avoiding me! He was trying to find a way to save me even though I had never said I loved him! He's working to find a cure for a selfish git like me!

"Don't make that face Harry..."

I turned away and buried my face in Remus' chest once again and fought back tears.

"You will continue to teach classes but Remus will be working as an assistant and will be your substitute on days that you're not feeling well. His quarters are only two rooms down from yours so should you need him he will be close by. Also, we have informed our dear Hermione about your situation and circumstances and she has insisted on coming to stay at Hogwarts with Mr. Weasley and young Lawrence. We're not going to let you die quietly and by your self that's for damn sure!"

I laughed. Never before had I heard Minerva curse and upon hearing that proclamation the others laughed as well.

"Now," she waved her wand about and everything in my room righted itself including anything that had shattered against the wall, "I would like for you to get into your bed and rest for the rest of the Holiday. I believe you can rest just as well here as in the Medical room. I believe I shall leave you to Severus and Remus. I'll see you tomorrow when Mrs. Weasley arrives and don't be surprised if she's not the only one to come flooing in. I'm betting the entire Weasley household knows and is in uproar."

"Thank you, Minerva," I said softly.

"You're welcome Harry."

"I'll leave you in Remus and Severus' care. Make sure to take all of your potions down to the last drop. I shall stop by tomorrow morning to monitor your progress," said Poppy as she followed Minerva out.

I wiped my face of any remaining tears and looked up into Remus' golden brown eyes. He gave me a smile and stood up offering me a hand. I stared at his hand for a moment and tried to move my legs so that I could get into a standing position.

"I'm afraid my legs have gone numb," I said softly.

"I'll take care of this Lupin. Go ahead and finish setting up your rooms," said Severus as he walked over and knelt down in front of me.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Harry. Have a good nights rest, both of you."

Severus nodded and I smiled, "Yes, sir."

No sooner had Remus left than Severus' arms were under my knees and around my back and I was cradled in those strong arms and against his chest.

He strode across the room and into my bedroom. He approached my and held me one handed as he lifted his wand from his robes and waved causing the blankets to turn down. He returned his wand to where it had come from and then laid me in the middle of the bed. I already wore pajamas so he simply lifted the blankets and tucked me in. His hand drifted away from me as he prepared to leave but I grabbed it and squeezed it tightly.

"I...I love you."

My voice was wobbly and I kept my eyes trained on his hand, afraid of what emotions I would see on his face.

The bed dipped and groaned under added weight and I felt his heat as he lay across me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace.

"I didn't want to say it before because I didn't want you to love me. If you love me and I die then I would have caused you the same pain I had felt when Ginny died. I couldn't bare the idea of causing you pain. I also couldn't bare the idea of losing you. I had lost Ginny and it hurt to continue leaving with so...many regrets and such pain and sadness."

"What made you change your mind," he asked as he backed away to see my face.

"Ginny."

His eyes grew wide and surprise shown brightly on his tired features.

"I saw her in this field of wild flowers. She looked just like she had when we were married. She said everything that needed to be said and then she told me to return and live my life."

"She always was my favorite Weasley," he said with a small smile.

"Aww...I thought Fred and George were your favorites."

"Those two were the bane of my existence for the years that they resided at this school. I was saddened at the circumstances with which they had left but more then happy to see them off and surprised by the success of their business."

"Yes, my winnings were well spent."

"Your winnings...you mean the winnings from the Tri Wizard tournament?"

I nodded and smiled, "I didn't need the money and it felt like blood money. I had won at the price of Cedric's life. I gave it to the twins and made them promise to buy Ron new dress robes."

"It seems you have once again surprised me," he said with a thoughtful look.

"Let's hope that I can continue to do so," I said as I sat up to press a kiss on his nose.

He gave a crooked grin and shook his head, "Go to sleep you impertinent brat."

I squeezed his hand, "Will you stay until I fall asleep?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically before the sound of shoes hitting the floor sounded and he wiggled under the blankets beside me.

"Now, sleep."

I closed my eyes and snuggled against him, my hand still gripping his as I felt sleep pull me under.

To be continued...

Sorry it took so long. I have been inspired to do a new Naruto fanfic called Falling and Falling Again as well as my first Kyo Kara Mao fic called Here With Me. It will be a Conrart/Yuri fic and later a Wolfram/Yuri fic. I'd like to see Wolfram top even though he would probably bottom with Yuri.

I did Pilates and it was fun! I think I enjoyed it because my best friend was my instructor. My friend is a certified Pilate's instructor and works at Golds Gym and when I mentioned I wanted to lose weight she told me to take advantage of the fact that my friend is certified in Pilates. So I did. It's been 2 days since I did and I'm still sore but at least I know I got a good workout.

Chapter 7 is being worked on now so be patient!

Kat