Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Love For What You Believe In ❯ The Night Carries Self Loathing ( Chapter 7 )

His younger sister was in the middle of the corridor in a full on make out session with a guy that looked older than Ron did himself.
Shouting a string of curses he marched towards them.
Ginny sighed heavily.
“You better go, this could take a while”
“Catch you later then” the guy said giving her ass a grope before shuffling away.
“What do you want Ronald?” she questioned indignantly.
“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? You look like a slut.”
“Yeah yeah. To be honest Ronald I’m old enough to take care of myself – meaning I can do what I want, when I want.”
It suddenly occurred to him just how selfish his baby sister was, the truth dawned.
“You did it didn’t you? You lied about Harry.” His voice was quiet and cracked as he tried to hold back his anger.
“So what, he deserved it, he really did want me.”
“Are you blind? He’s gay and just wants to be accepted that way, it has just taken your selfishness for me to see it…” he paused in disbelief of his own actions towards his best friend “…I punched my best friend because you’re a lying little skank…”
“You can’t talk to me like that!” but Ron was no longer listening he had already turned away. He strode down the corridor leaving her to shout outraged, alone.
***
Hermione looked out the window.
“It’s getting quite late I better be on my way back.”
“Okay then” Harry replied giving her a quick hug.
“It was nice talking with you” Draco extended his hand, which Hermione just ignored and wrapped her arms around his neck. She put her mouth close to Draco’s ear.
“Thank you for looking after him” she whispered. Draco just smiled and hugged back.
A crack of lightning followed by the boom of thunder and the clattering of rain caused eyes to turn to the window.
“Wow that storm just came out of nowhere! I hope Hedwig is inside.” Harry said casting a concerned look out the window.
“I’m sure she is fine” she stated, bidding them farewell and leaving them.
Draco yawned, stretching his arms upwards.
“I reckon it’s time we hit the hay, we’ve got lessons which we are going to tomorrow.”
Harry grumbled but complied getting into bed. And with that they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
***
Another crash of thunder roared across the grounds. Hermione huffed sitting bolt upright. She couldn’t sleep. She’d always been a light sleeper. She made her way down the stairs.
“Hot chocolate is always good for getting to sleep” she said to herself as she mooched down the stairs. Her tawny hair falling about her shoulders and her shimmering chemise reflecting the light of the fire.
With her newly heated mug of hot chocolate she sighed and turned to look at the fire that was still blazing in the hearth.
She heard heavy breathing and could see a shadow being cast on the rug. She cautiously peered around the edge of the chair to see Ron hunched up, arms around his knees sobbing into them.
She gently placed her hand on his shoulder, trying not to frighten him. He looked up at her, cheeks mottled and stained with tears that screamed pain. Without a word she just pulled him into her chest knowing that he didn’t need words at this moment just an act of kindness. He clutched at her chemise weeping into her and trying to hold her as close as possible, as in fear of losing her too.
He calmed and Hermione made another hot chocolate for him.
“What’s happened?” she asked still not certain on the reason he was so upset.
“She was lying… but I chose her over him… how horrid must he have felt? What kind of friend am I to do that to him?”
“It’s your naturally instinct Ron. It’s Ginny’s fault, I mean the lie she told about Harry was despicable. And being protective older brother you thought that a lie that serious must be real, you didn’t think she was cruel enough to lie about it.”
“But she did….”
“Unfortunately yes, that is the case. You just have to come to terms with the fact that you innocent little sister isn’t quite so innocent, she’s actually rather selfish.”
“And a slag…”
“Yeah, that too.”
“Harry must hate me… I can’t believe I hit him…”
“He’ll understand you just need to talk to him Ron, that’s all you can do for now.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to see me again let alone talk to me. I’ve made such a huge mistake”
“You’ll just have to try and find out.”
He just nodded meekly into his knees. She kissed him on the forehead her tawny hair brushing his cheek.
“Sleep Ron, tomorrow’s a new day.”
And with that she departed, adjourning back to the girl’s dorm.
Ron sat staring into the flames of the fireplace watching the embers flicker, casting shadows upon his features. His mind was such a buzz it felt blank. Only filled with despair and self loathing. He was ashamed of himself, he’d hurt one of the people out there that would risk their life for him. He bet Ginny wouldn’t even do that.
No she wouldn’t. She’s too selfish.
He stood slowly not thinking just moving. Clambering out the portrait hole and it squealed to a shut behind him.
Hermione pulled back the sheets of her bed and stretched her arms above her head. As her knee rest against the mattress she heard the distinct squeal of the portrait hole’s hinges. She darted out of the door and down into the common room staring out the window. She looked across and saw Ron’s flash of ginger hair through the window. He was descending a flight of stairs.
Where is he going…
Hermione wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t know where he was going, so how did she know where to follow him? She didn’t. All she could do was watch him in anxious awe. He reached the bottom of the staircase.
Where is he going? There’s nowhere to go from there. It leads nowhere
Nowhere were Ron’s exact thoughts. He opened the heavy wooden doors and stepped into the galling winds and the thrashing storm rain.
Now Hermione was worried. What in the world did he think he was doing outside in this weather?
She scurried across the room shuffling hurriedly into her loafers and bolting out the door down the corridor.
***
A fierce banging roused Draco from his slumber. Looking at his watch he saw that it was 3am.
What an absurd time…
Draco crabbily clambered out of bed and opened the door. His bare torso was hit with the chill of the corridor and was then bruised by the sheer force of the visitor barging through the doorway.
“Where’s Harry!?”
“Hermione do you know what time it is?” Draco said running his fingers through his hair.
“Where’s Harry!” she bellowed frantically.
“What’s all the racket?” Harry grumbled walking out of the bedroom clad in a pair of pajama bottoms, stretching his arms above his head.
“It’s Ron” She grabbed his hand, not even giving him time to put on a jacket or shoes, dragging towards the same stairs that Ron was descending not five minutes ago. Draco stared in disbelief and, acting quickly, grabbed two jackets and two pairs of shoes sprinting off after his partner.
Emerging into the bitter night air into the thrashing rain Hermione continued to drag Harry by his hand.
“Hermione, what’s going on?”
“I think Ron’s going to do something stupid” she shouted as she started to pull him yet again.
Harry frowned.
“What kind of stupid?” he asked frowning.
******
Ron stood on a hillock at the water’s edge, the wind throwing the waves around and the water thrashing at his feet, water flooding into his shoes and the beating rain plastering fabric to his skin. He spread his arms wide and turned to face the sky, staring up at the gloomy clouds swirling, highlighted by streaks of lighting. The grounds rumbled with each bout of thunder.
He felt like this is where he deserved to be. Cold and hurt and alone. Just like he had made Harry feel by not trusting him. Harry always trusted him and he just betrayed that trust.
If I can’t even keep the trust of my best friend, why do I deserve anything?
******
“Harry put these on”
Draco had caught up with Hermione and Harry and was thrusting a pair of boots and a jacket into his lover’s arms.
Harry nodded and did as he was told. He donned the clothes and tuned to face Hermione.
“Hermione where are we going, where is he?”
Her hair was ragged and plastered to her face and neck. She looked round frantically.
“I don’t know I can’t see him, I just don’t know”
“LUMOS” Draco lit his wand and started to look around. The other two followed his lead.
Harry squinted following the beam of light emitting from the end of his wand.
“I see a shadow over by the lake!” he started to run towards it, Draco and Hermione in close pursuit.
******
Ron took a deep breath in. the salty moisture of his tears mingled with the rain that pummeled his face. He pushed his foot off the side of the hillock and tumbled down towards the convulsing water below.
The trio could make him out clearly now. They watched as he launched himself off the edge.
“RON!!” Hermione screamed and darted towards the lakes edge.
Harry grabbed her wrists just as her foot slipped on the edge of the lake.
“You can’t Hermione you’ll just get swept away!” he helped her back to her feet.
Draco rushed past them and dived in. Harry’s heart was suddenly laden with fear
What if he doesn’t come back… he thought worriedly.
Don’t you worry I’ll come back to you. Harry breathed a sigh of relief.
Harry and Hermione watched as the end of Draco’s wand shimmered dully under the lake’s surface. And then Draco emerged, Ron I his arms.
******
Eyes lids fluttered and Ron opened his eyes. He was in a bed.
Was it all just a dream?
His eyes focused on the room around him. This wasn’t the dorm. Where was he? A door creaked open and Harry entered carrying two mugs of tea. He sat on the edge of the bed and handed one to Ron who just sat in silence, not sure of what to say.
“Why did you do it” Harry spoke, almost to himself, not looking directly into Ron’s eyes.
“I… I must have caused you so much pain…” tears began to form, glistening in his eyes “I never thought Ginny was so manipulating and selfish. I didn’t want to believe her, but I never thought in a thousand years that she’d lie about you or about something like that… I’m such an awful person and I’m so sorry…”
Harry just took a deep breath in and breathed it out slowly.
“It’s alright”
“What? No, no it isn’t. I shouldn’t be forgiven”
“Yes, it is. I don’t blame you. Draco made me see it from your point of view, he made me think about if we were in different roles and I had a little sister. I’d try and protect her. Which was all you were doing Ron. Even if you didn’t want to believe it you just wanted to make sure she was safe. I blame Ginny, not you. There is nothing to forgive because you haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Thank you” he whispered placing his tea on the table and lunging forward, hugging Harry around the waist.
“Wait a minute did you just say Draco?”
“Yeah… about that, Draco’s my lover,”
Ron’s eyes spread wide and he just sat gaping, mouth opening and closing like a stunned fish. Suddenly his eyes rolled back in his head and passed out.
Harry just watched over his friend, contented that everything was starting to return to some sort of normality and was starting to feel right.
Harry pulled the blanket up over Ron’s chest to keep the chill away.
“Draco saved your life Ron… He saved mine too” Harry said softly while smiling over his cup of tea and brushing a few strands from the face of his exhausted and stunned best friend.

Hermione stood outside the door and smiled. She sat on the sofa next to Draco.
“Thank you for making him so happy”
“It’s my pleasure” he replied with a gracious smile, unlike the smirk Hermione was so used to receiving from him.
“And thank you for saving Ron” she uttered looking worriedly towards the bedroom door.
“It was only right. You and him make Harry happy, you really do. And I know he’s been a bit distant recently, but he’s starting to become himself. He’s growing as a person and so am I. I’m allowed to be who I really am because of him, he accepts the real me; the one I locked away for all these years because it was ‘a disappointment.’ I know what it feels like to be judged solely on your name, just as Harry does. I think it was the realization of this mutual understanding that brought us together. And so now that he’s saved me from locking myself away anymore, I can start to make my own life. One that I am happy with. And not one that is expected of me by the people who only see my name.”
Hermione just smiled in dignified astonishment at the heartfelt speech that she just heard from Draco. And she watched him sip his tea, wondering where this new relationship between Harry and Draco might just take the rest of them, perhaps even the wizarding world.