Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Lucid Consequences ❯ Chapter 11: Your dream is over... or has it just begun? ( Chapter 11 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: DeityofDeath 
Non Anime: Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 02.28.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.8K | Visits: 561 | Status: Completed
Non Anime: Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 02.28.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.8K | Visits: 561 | Status: Completed
Title: Lucid ConsequencesAuthor: DeityOfDeathArchive: Yes please......Pairings: Lucius/Harry/SnapeCategory: Drama, romance, slashrating: NC-17/RSpoilers: Maybe.Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Rape, Non-con, Mpreg SPOILERS!!!!!! If you haven't read HBP then DON'T READ THIS FIC~!!!!!!!Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Harry Potter or its chars. They are property of JK Rowling and major companies.
Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction~! Enjoy and please review~!
SPOILERS AHEAD~~!!!!!!! You have been warned~!!!!
Chapter 11: Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
It was a week away from Christmas and I had just begun to get antsy. It had also been two weeks since Draco had come to stay with us at Grimmauld place and since I had over heard Lucius and Draco's father son chat, nothing too horrible had been said or done. The casual insult or rude comment rolled off of me like water on a ducks back. I think that pleased Lucius and Sev more than Draco bringing his insults down a level or two. I wasn't the whore of Slytherin anymore but I was still queer with an attraction to rich old men. The very idea made me want to blush. Okay, so Lucius and Sev were old enough, if not older than my father if he had lived. What was I supposed to do about it now? Love is what it is. You can't help who you love. I'm betting Draco wishes you could. Since he’s been here my physical contact with Lucius and Sev has been lowered some. Lucius very rarely sits me in his lap now and Sev is careful not to kiss me on the lips or any where else on my face except for maybe my forehead. The whole situation was becoming irritating.
Other than those small complaints I was doing well. Okay, maybe not well...but I wasn't in Voldemorts clutches anymore and I consider that something positive. I had an appetite again and I think I surprised all three of my housemates with how voracious an appetite I now have.
I have managed to finish at least two or three portions for dinner as well as multiple snacks in-between all of my other meals. Most are healthy, at Sev's insistence. I personally would like some sweeter snacks. Not that I don't appreciate the tea brewed with care or the apples and other fruits sliced, chilled and placed in a bowl in front of me or the carrot sticks, raisins and milk often handed to me when I started eyeing up the supply of Chocolate frogs, butter beer and jelly slugs. The good side to eating healthy was the fact that I wasn't going to gain too much weight, but the fact that I did eat so much now was showing more and more everyday. Draco hasn't commented on my weight gain yet and neither have Sev or Luc, but it’s only a matter of time. I now have a small rounding belly and my pregnancy is beginning to seem more "real" to me.
I say more "real" because I am now beginning to feel pregnant. At times I feel like a pregnant prisoner. I suppose it can't be helped. I am Harry Potter and I am on the run from Voldemort as well as trying to keep my face and body out of the news, but I didn't have to like it. I hated being cramped inside all the time and I hated not being able to finally be free to roam the world as I pleased. None of that was possible currently and probably not possible in the near future either. I was soon going to be a parent. My future always seemed to be in others hands and it seemed like it would continue to be. I at least want to be able to do my own Christmas shopping.
A week til Christmas. A week, and with all that’s been going on I can't seem to get a moment to myself to shop for either Sev or Lucius. I of course can't leave the house and so that leaves most of my shopping to owl order and that was usually viewed by all of us when the owls arrived everyday. Other than that there was always the hand made gift route. I appreciated everything I got from Mrs. Weasley and I was hoping it would be the same for others if I were to make some things by hand. There were also some items left to me by my parents, which were safely tucked into the Potter vault. The problem with that was once again the fact that I couldn't leave the house. I was irritated and down right moody because of the whole situation.
I had gotten a few things for other through owl mail and I was now scrambling for Lucius and Sev's gifts. Ideas were few and far between. I had gotten Draco a set of gold and silver cobra cuff links and was considering the same for Lucius and Sev when something else occurred to me as I sat there on the love seat in the study.
Myself! I could give them myself, or at least my body. They already have my heart and we haven't...since I conceived. I was a little more than willing at the moment. I was betting on part of my new found horniness was hormones. I wondered if either of them would actually be willing to commit to the act of love making with me again. We hadn't talked about it, although the tension is there. I had to think this out and I had plan carefully, the question was, how did I want to do this and what should I do?
I had begun to jot notes and take down ideas and it wasn't until I felt a soft tap on my shoulder that I realized the time. I looked up into Lucious' warm gray eyes and smiled.
"Dinner time, Harry."
I closed my note books and stood up smiling, "I'll be there as soon as I put this stuff away in my room."
He looked at me curiously and nodded before turning around and making his way to the dinning room. I grinned to myself and knew that I would have a week to prepare.
**********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Christmas Eve ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************
I had managed to keep my gift idea secret from all of them and even as the tree was set up and the star was leviosa'd to the top I calmly and happily placed my presents under the tree. I rearranged my gifts so that they were separated by who they were to be given to. I then smiled and took out two envelopes with stamped wax seals and stared at them a moment before walking over to the stockings when no one was looking and stuck on in Lucius' and one in Sev's. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and then made my way upstairs to prepare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucius' POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had been watching quietly through out the last week as Harry locked himself away in the study or his room doing what... we could only guess. We tried not pry nor did we bother him and we simply watched and waited. It wasn't until tonight when we noticed him rearranging the gifts under the tree with an almost nervous excitement. He kept unconsciously touching his right jeans pocket and upon having arranged all his gifts under the tree he stood and brushed his knees off before walking over to all of our stockings.
Sev and I both found ourselves starring in curiosity and both of us looked away guiltily. It felt wrong to watch him and yet we were dying to know what he was up to. We heard him shuffle out of the room and both of us looked over at the stockings. It was then we heard a soft laugh.
We looked up and into the mirth filled face of my own son, Draco.
"You two are bloody hopeless! Why don't either of you make a move?"
At our silence he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, "It's not like it’s the first time you've fallen in love!"
Once again our bumbling silence filled the awkward pause, "You have got to bloody joking!? Oh, this is just wonderful! Well don't keep starring at me. Go look in your stockings and see what he put in them."
We tried to act the role of mature adults as we both merely glanced at our stockings feigning disinterest now. And yet...curiosity killed the witch’s cat. It was Sev who walked over to the fireplace first and glanced inside of his stocking. His eyes widened minutely as he put a hand inside the stocking and pulled out a manila envelope with a red wax seal that was none other than the Potter crest. He opened it a tad bit too slow for my tastes and proceeded to read it slowly. He turned to look at me and a bit of a snarky grin appeared as his refolded the letter.
"Perhaps you should check you’re stocking Lucius."
I stared at him for a moment and then walked over to my stocking and pulled a manila envelope similar to Severus' and began to open it, noting the same red wax seal with the Potter crest. I opened it and read aloud softly.
Lucius,
Meet me at exactly Midnight in my room. At that time I would like to exchange Christmas gifts.
Harry
"They both say the same thing", stated Sev.
"Well don’t be dunces! Both of you should go get ready, it's nearly 11", Draco scoffed in irritation.
Sev was the first to leave the room and as I watched his robes billowing behind him in his hasty exit I wondered just what our little Gryffindor was up to. I stood there wandering what I should do. The young man in me wanted to run up those steps and greet him happily and jovially and yet, I wasn't that young man. I was an older man of stature and calm demeanor. I couldn't just go from one extreme to another.
"Instead of standing there over thinking the situation, shouldn't you be getting ready for your little engagement?"
I stared at my son and I wondered what he thought of me and how he saw me.
"If your acting calm on my behalf then stop it now. I have plans that involve fire calling Pansy and perhaps a few of my other friends so go and be with Potter. And don't give me that look. You’re trying to sneer and it’s coming off as a silly mix between a grimace and a smile."
I gave a cocky grin and walked over patting my son on the shoulder, "I'll see you in the morning, Draco."
"Yes, and I hope to find some great gifts under that tree come morning."
I started walking to the doorway when I heard him shout at my back, "And do me a favor if you will?"
I turned my head to look over my shoulder uncertain of what this favor could entail.
"Use a silencing charm. I'm okay with you and Uncle Sev loving Potter, but hearing...it, is too disturbing to handle currently."
I grinned and nodded before continuing on my way upstairs to my room. Once there I showered quickly before I rummaged through my short supply of clothes and picked out a simple white dress shirt, a pair of black dress slacks and a silver robe to go over the ensemble that had been a gift from Severus. He claimed it matched my eyes perfectly. Standing in front of the mirror I had to say he was right. I did a quick twirl in the mirror and a glint in the mirrors reflection caught my eye. I lifted my left hand and saw the dazzling white gold band encasing my ring finger. It was then I felt a bit guilty. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a small wallet and opened it, pulling out a one of three pictures it contained. It was a picture of Narcissa and me standing in front of our mansion, both of us looking genuinely happy after our wedding ceremony at the tender ages of nineteen. I had given up so much back then. I had given myself over to Dark Lord, married Narcissa and given up my one chance at love with Severus as well as my bachelorhood and then I had given up any and all chances of freedom after I discovered what the Dark Lord had planned. I had slowly learned from all these mistakes and now I clung to what the future, what I had left of one, could bring. Perhaps I could even earn Severus' love again.
I looked at that photo and felt all the things I had wanted to say but hadn't, leave my mouth.
"You know Narcissa, I loved you. I don't know when our love became an obligation instead of a privilege but I know it not only hurt me but you as well. I only ask that you can forgive me my faults and mistakes and look down on Draco and me as we fumble through our lives. I thank you for everything you've given me, the memories, Draco, your life and for the briefest of times...your love."
I slipped my ring off and along with the picture of my late wife and myself and I carefully placed both into a small velvet pouch I usually used for loose sickles and then opened my top dresser drawer and placed the pouch under a worn book of spells.
I turned and looked down at my now barren left ring finger and felt a huge weight lifted not only from my finger but from my heart, soul and mind. I smiled and thought about Harry's gift under the tree. I suppose it can wait til tomorrow. No need worrying about it tonight.
I glanced at the clock and saw that I had five minutes before Midnight. I grinned and then left my room and headed down the hall to Harry's. Upon getting there I saw a nervous Severus starring at the door handle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Severus' POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When had I let that irritable James look alike into my heart? He had taken my world and completely tipped it on its axis. He was so much like James sometimes that I took my anger out on him more than I should have. And yet, I had never seen him pick on another student let alone play the same cruel jokes his father so enjoyed. This obstinate Gryffindor had always held a small portion of my idle fascination along with my hate. Now it was more love than hate. I suppose my hatred was becoming a thing of the past. Even now as he sets his gifts up around the tree I watch interested. Every movement and every thought that flickers across those pleasant features a small pleasure for me.
He is an enigma sometimes. How one boy as young as him can shoulder the world is beyond me. If everything he has told us is true then he is more than worthy of his title and standing. The Boy Who Lived seems like such a heavy burden and great honor and he bears this name and always proves that he is once again alive after yet another attempt on his frail and malnourished form. The fact that he can smile for others benefit and then cry and curse the world behind closed doors causes me a great deal of strife and worry. Maybe one day he can open up and talk to me and Lucius. Lucius was a shoulder for me to lean on at one time. He was also a warm body to find comfort in and a voice whose words I often sought. Perhaps I could be that for Harry. We talked quite often already.
Speak of the devil. What is he up to?
I watched as he took two envelopes and placed one in each stocking before making a gallant exit from the room. I felt guilty and looked away as I remembered my Godsons presence and it was his very presence that I couldn't help but remember as his soft laugh fill the room. I looked up into his amused silver eyes and saw Lucius do the same.
"You two are bloody hopeless! Why don't either of you make a move?"
At our silence he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, "It's not like it’s the first time you've fallen in love!"
I sat quietly, pretending to find lint on my black robes and the silence grew louder.
"You have got to bloody joking!? Oh, this is just wonderful! Well don't keep starring at me. Go look in your stockings and see what he put in them."
Lucius and I glanced at our stockings and I felt the guilt and curiosity brimming over the edge deep inside of me. I was hesitating and I had no clue as to why. I had hesitated once with Lucius in my school days when he had told me of his engagement to Narcissa and I had decided back then that I would do so ever again. I did not want to lose a chance at happiness again.
I was the first to walk over to the fireplace and rummage through my stocking. I pulled out the manila envelope and cracked open the Potter family's crest, stamped into wax. I opened it slowly, almost fearing the same words I anticipated. I could hear Lucius' snort of impatience. He should open his own letter if he was so impatient. I read slowly, admiring each bold stroke in his penmanship.
Sev,
Meet me at exactly Midnight in my room. At that time I would like to exchange Christmas gifts.
Harry
I turned to look at Lucius and felt a snarky grin spread across my face as I refolded the letter.
"Perhaps you should check you’re stocking Lucius."
He stared at me for a moment and then walked over to his stocking beside mine and pulled a manila envelope similar to my own out of his stocking and began to open it. I noted the same red wax seal with the Potter crest. He opened it and read aloud softly.
"Lucius,
Meet me at exactly Midnight in my room. At that time I would like to exchange Christmas gifts.
Harry"
"They both say the same thing", I stated.
"Well don’t be dunces! Both of you should go get ready, it's nearly 11", Draco scoffed in irritation.
I turned a curious look in Draco's direction for a moment before deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth and left the room briskly. I found myself up the stairs and in my room before I had noticed what I was doing. I had undressed in a hurry and gotten into the shower. I washed and rinsed my hair, hoping for once that it would do as I wished, just this one night. I stepped out and quickly toweled myself dry before tackling my hair. My hair was hard enough to manage; I could only imagine Lucius'. I'm betting that’s why he takes forever to get ready in the mornings and for any affair.
I had rummaged through my clothes supply and noted that everything contained my favorite color, black. I picked out a nice pair of black slacks, a white dress shirt (the only one in my collection) and a black dress robe over my ensemble. I ran a brush through my hair a few times before calling it a lost cause. I dipped into my handmade oils and colognes and used one of my favorites, a mix of orange, rosemary and cloves. I know its one of Harry's favorites. He seems to cuddle closer whenever I wear it. I think he believes me ignorant of his small smelling habit.
I looked myself over in the mirror before grimacing and wondering exactly what Harry saw in me. What did he see in an old potions professor?
I had made my way to Harry's bedroom door and there I stood quietly, afraid to make the next move. I saw Lucius as he approached and noted the robe he had chosen. A robe I had bought him while we were dating, one that had shown off his silver gray eyes perfectly and still did. He stood next to me and we both stared at the door before both of us knocked on the door lightly.
"Come in~!"
I heard an intake of breath and both of us took a look at each other before I turned the door knob and Lucius pushed the door open. Both of us stepped inside and saw a gorgeous site.
To Be Continued......
I am 100% sorry I had to end it there. ::Ducks rotten fruit::
I am working on chapter 12 so try not to flame me too much. I'm working without my muse so the first part is absolutely horrible. I managed to somewhat make it better when I wrote for Sev. I guess I work better when writing for dark angsty chars. -_-9
So enjoy and some sexing coming soon. I promise~!
Kat >^_^<
Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction~! Enjoy and please review~!
SPOILERS AHEAD~~!!!!!!! You have been warned~!!!!
Chapter 11: Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
It was a week away from Christmas and I had just begun to get antsy. It had also been two weeks since Draco had come to stay with us at Grimmauld place and since I had over heard Lucius and Draco's father son chat, nothing too horrible had been said or done. The casual insult or rude comment rolled off of me like water on a ducks back. I think that pleased Lucius and Sev more than Draco bringing his insults down a level or two. I wasn't the whore of Slytherin anymore but I was still queer with an attraction to rich old men. The very idea made me want to blush. Okay, so Lucius and Sev were old enough, if not older than my father if he had lived. What was I supposed to do about it now? Love is what it is. You can't help who you love. I'm betting Draco wishes you could. Since he’s been here my physical contact with Lucius and Sev has been lowered some. Lucius very rarely sits me in his lap now and Sev is careful not to kiss me on the lips or any where else on my face except for maybe my forehead. The whole situation was becoming irritating.
Other than those small complaints I was doing well. Okay, maybe not well...but I wasn't in Voldemorts clutches anymore and I consider that something positive. I had an appetite again and I think I surprised all three of my housemates with how voracious an appetite I now have.
I have managed to finish at least two or three portions for dinner as well as multiple snacks in-between all of my other meals. Most are healthy, at Sev's insistence. I personally would like some sweeter snacks. Not that I don't appreciate the tea brewed with care or the apples and other fruits sliced, chilled and placed in a bowl in front of me or the carrot sticks, raisins and milk often handed to me when I started eyeing up the supply of Chocolate frogs, butter beer and jelly slugs. The good side to eating healthy was the fact that I wasn't going to gain too much weight, but the fact that I did eat so much now was showing more and more everyday. Draco hasn't commented on my weight gain yet and neither have Sev or Luc, but it’s only a matter of time. I now have a small rounding belly and my pregnancy is beginning to seem more "real" to me.
I say more "real" because I am now beginning to feel pregnant. At times I feel like a pregnant prisoner. I suppose it can't be helped. I am Harry Potter and I am on the run from Voldemort as well as trying to keep my face and body out of the news, but I didn't have to like it. I hated being cramped inside all the time and I hated not being able to finally be free to roam the world as I pleased. None of that was possible currently and probably not possible in the near future either. I was soon going to be a parent. My future always seemed to be in others hands and it seemed like it would continue to be. I at least want to be able to do my own Christmas shopping.
A week til Christmas. A week, and with all that’s been going on I can't seem to get a moment to myself to shop for either Sev or Lucius. I of course can't leave the house and so that leaves most of my shopping to owl order and that was usually viewed by all of us when the owls arrived everyday. Other than that there was always the hand made gift route. I appreciated everything I got from Mrs. Weasley and I was hoping it would be the same for others if I were to make some things by hand. There were also some items left to me by my parents, which were safely tucked into the Potter vault. The problem with that was once again the fact that I couldn't leave the house. I was irritated and down right moody because of the whole situation.
I had gotten a few things for other through owl mail and I was now scrambling for Lucius and Sev's gifts. Ideas were few and far between. I had gotten Draco a set of gold and silver cobra cuff links and was considering the same for Lucius and Sev when something else occurred to me as I sat there on the love seat in the study.
Myself! I could give them myself, or at least my body. They already have my heart and we haven't...since I conceived. I was a little more than willing at the moment. I was betting on part of my new found horniness was hormones. I wondered if either of them would actually be willing to commit to the act of love making with me again. We hadn't talked about it, although the tension is there. I had to think this out and I had plan carefully, the question was, how did I want to do this and what should I do?
I had begun to jot notes and take down ideas and it wasn't until I felt a soft tap on my shoulder that I realized the time. I looked up into Lucious' warm gray eyes and smiled.
"Dinner time, Harry."
I closed my note books and stood up smiling, "I'll be there as soon as I put this stuff away in my room."
He looked at me curiously and nodded before turning around and making his way to the dinning room. I grinned to myself and knew that I would have a week to prepare.
**********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Christmas Eve ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************
I had managed to keep my gift idea secret from all of them and even as the tree was set up and the star was leviosa'd to the top I calmly and happily placed my presents under the tree. I rearranged my gifts so that they were separated by who they were to be given to. I then smiled and took out two envelopes with stamped wax seals and stared at them a moment before walking over to the stockings when no one was looking and stuck on in Lucius' and one in Sev's. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and then made my way upstairs to prepare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucius' POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had been watching quietly through out the last week as Harry locked himself away in the study or his room doing what... we could only guess. We tried not pry nor did we bother him and we simply watched and waited. It wasn't until tonight when we noticed him rearranging the gifts under the tree with an almost nervous excitement. He kept unconsciously touching his right jeans pocket and upon having arranged all his gifts under the tree he stood and brushed his knees off before walking over to all of our stockings.
Sev and I both found ourselves starring in curiosity and both of us looked away guiltily. It felt wrong to watch him and yet we were dying to know what he was up to. We heard him shuffle out of the room and both of us looked over at the stockings. It was then we heard a soft laugh.
We looked up and into the mirth filled face of my own son, Draco.
"You two are bloody hopeless! Why don't either of you make a move?"
At our silence he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, "It's not like it’s the first time you've fallen in love!"
Once again our bumbling silence filled the awkward pause, "You have got to bloody joking!? Oh, this is just wonderful! Well don't keep starring at me. Go look in your stockings and see what he put in them."
We tried to act the role of mature adults as we both merely glanced at our stockings feigning disinterest now. And yet...curiosity killed the witch’s cat. It was Sev who walked over to the fireplace first and glanced inside of his stocking. His eyes widened minutely as he put a hand inside the stocking and pulled out a manila envelope with a red wax seal that was none other than the Potter crest. He opened it a tad bit too slow for my tastes and proceeded to read it slowly. He turned to look at me and a bit of a snarky grin appeared as his refolded the letter.
"Perhaps you should check you’re stocking Lucius."
I stared at him for a moment and then walked over to my stocking and pulled a manila envelope similar to Severus' and began to open it, noting the same red wax seal with the Potter crest. I opened it and read aloud softly.
Lucius,
Meet me at exactly Midnight in my room. At that time I would like to exchange Christmas gifts.
Harry
"They both say the same thing", stated Sev.
"Well don’t be dunces! Both of you should go get ready, it's nearly 11", Draco scoffed in irritation.
Sev was the first to leave the room and as I watched his robes billowing behind him in his hasty exit I wondered just what our little Gryffindor was up to. I stood there wandering what I should do. The young man in me wanted to run up those steps and greet him happily and jovially and yet, I wasn't that young man. I was an older man of stature and calm demeanor. I couldn't just go from one extreme to another.
"Instead of standing there over thinking the situation, shouldn't you be getting ready for your little engagement?"
I stared at my son and I wondered what he thought of me and how he saw me.
"If your acting calm on my behalf then stop it now. I have plans that involve fire calling Pansy and perhaps a few of my other friends so go and be with Potter. And don't give me that look. You’re trying to sneer and it’s coming off as a silly mix between a grimace and a smile."
I gave a cocky grin and walked over patting my son on the shoulder, "I'll see you in the morning, Draco."
"Yes, and I hope to find some great gifts under that tree come morning."
I started walking to the doorway when I heard him shout at my back, "And do me a favor if you will?"
I turned my head to look over my shoulder uncertain of what this favor could entail.
"Use a silencing charm. I'm okay with you and Uncle Sev loving Potter, but hearing...it, is too disturbing to handle currently."
I grinned and nodded before continuing on my way upstairs to my room. Once there I showered quickly before I rummaged through my short supply of clothes and picked out a simple white dress shirt, a pair of black dress slacks and a silver robe to go over the ensemble that had been a gift from Severus. He claimed it matched my eyes perfectly. Standing in front of the mirror I had to say he was right. I did a quick twirl in the mirror and a glint in the mirrors reflection caught my eye. I lifted my left hand and saw the dazzling white gold band encasing my ring finger. It was then I felt a bit guilty. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a small wallet and opened it, pulling out a one of three pictures it contained. It was a picture of Narcissa and me standing in front of our mansion, both of us looking genuinely happy after our wedding ceremony at the tender ages of nineteen. I had given up so much back then. I had given myself over to Dark Lord, married Narcissa and given up my one chance at love with Severus as well as my bachelorhood and then I had given up any and all chances of freedom after I discovered what the Dark Lord had planned. I had slowly learned from all these mistakes and now I clung to what the future, what I had left of one, could bring. Perhaps I could even earn Severus' love again.
I looked at that photo and felt all the things I had wanted to say but hadn't, leave my mouth.
"You know Narcissa, I loved you. I don't know when our love became an obligation instead of a privilege but I know it not only hurt me but you as well. I only ask that you can forgive me my faults and mistakes and look down on Draco and me as we fumble through our lives. I thank you for everything you've given me, the memories, Draco, your life and for the briefest of times...your love."
I slipped my ring off and along with the picture of my late wife and myself and I carefully placed both into a small velvet pouch I usually used for loose sickles and then opened my top dresser drawer and placed the pouch under a worn book of spells.
I turned and looked down at my now barren left ring finger and felt a huge weight lifted not only from my finger but from my heart, soul and mind. I smiled and thought about Harry's gift under the tree. I suppose it can wait til tomorrow. No need worrying about it tonight.
I glanced at the clock and saw that I had five minutes before Midnight. I grinned and then left my room and headed down the hall to Harry's. Upon getting there I saw a nervous Severus starring at the door handle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Severus' POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When had I let that irritable James look alike into my heart? He had taken my world and completely tipped it on its axis. He was so much like James sometimes that I took my anger out on him more than I should have. And yet, I had never seen him pick on another student let alone play the same cruel jokes his father so enjoyed. This obstinate Gryffindor had always held a small portion of my idle fascination along with my hate. Now it was more love than hate. I suppose my hatred was becoming a thing of the past. Even now as he sets his gifts up around the tree I watch interested. Every movement and every thought that flickers across those pleasant features a small pleasure for me.
He is an enigma sometimes. How one boy as young as him can shoulder the world is beyond me. If everything he has told us is true then he is more than worthy of his title and standing. The Boy Who Lived seems like such a heavy burden and great honor and he bears this name and always proves that he is once again alive after yet another attempt on his frail and malnourished form. The fact that he can smile for others benefit and then cry and curse the world behind closed doors causes me a great deal of strife and worry. Maybe one day he can open up and talk to me and Lucius. Lucius was a shoulder for me to lean on at one time. He was also a warm body to find comfort in and a voice whose words I often sought. Perhaps I could be that for Harry. We talked quite often already.
Speak of the devil. What is he up to?
I watched as he took two envelopes and placed one in each stocking before making a gallant exit from the room. I felt guilty and looked away as I remembered my Godsons presence and it was his very presence that I couldn't help but remember as his soft laugh fill the room. I looked up into his amused silver eyes and saw Lucius do the same.
"You two are bloody hopeless! Why don't either of you make a move?"
At our silence he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, "It's not like it’s the first time you've fallen in love!"
I sat quietly, pretending to find lint on my black robes and the silence grew louder.
"You have got to bloody joking!? Oh, this is just wonderful! Well don't keep starring at me. Go look in your stockings and see what he put in them."
Lucius and I glanced at our stockings and I felt the guilt and curiosity brimming over the edge deep inside of me. I was hesitating and I had no clue as to why. I had hesitated once with Lucius in my school days when he had told me of his engagement to Narcissa and I had decided back then that I would do so ever again. I did not want to lose a chance at happiness again.
I was the first to walk over to the fireplace and rummage through my stocking. I pulled out the manila envelope and cracked open the Potter family's crest, stamped into wax. I opened it slowly, almost fearing the same words I anticipated. I could hear Lucius' snort of impatience. He should open his own letter if he was so impatient. I read slowly, admiring each bold stroke in his penmanship.
Sev,
Meet me at exactly Midnight in my room. At that time I would like to exchange Christmas gifts.
Harry
I turned to look at Lucius and felt a snarky grin spread across my face as I refolded the letter.
"Perhaps you should check you’re stocking Lucius."
He stared at me for a moment and then walked over to his stocking beside mine and pulled a manila envelope similar to my own out of his stocking and began to open it. I noted the same red wax seal with the Potter crest. He opened it and read aloud softly.
"Lucius,
Meet me at exactly Midnight in my room. At that time I would like to exchange Christmas gifts.
Harry"
"They both say the same thing", I stated.
"Well don’t be dunces! Both of you should go get ready, it's nearly 11", Draco scoffed in irritation.
I turned a curious look in Draco's direction for a moment before deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth and left the room briskly. I found myself up the stairs and in my room before I had noticed what I was doing. I had undressed in a hurry and gotten into the shower. I washed and rinsed my hair, hoping for once that it would do as I wished, just this one night. I stepped out and quickly toweled myself dry before tackling my hair. My hair was hard enough to manage; I could only imagine Lucius'. I'm betting that’s why he takes forever to get ready in the mornings and for any affair.
I had rummaged through my clothes supply and noted that everything contained my favorite color, black. I picked out a nice pair of black slacks, a white dress shirt (the only one in my collection) and a black dress robe over my ensemble. I ran a brush through my hair a few times before calling it a lost cause. I dipped into my handmade oils and colognes and used one of my favorites, a mix of orange, rosemary and cloves. I know its one of Harry's favorites. He seems to cuddle closer whenever I wear it. I think he believes me ignorant of his small smelling habit.
I looked myself over in the mirror before grimacing and wondering exactly what Harry saw in me. What did he see in an old potions professor?
I had made my way to Harry's bedroom door and there I stood quietly, afraid to make the next move. I saw Lucius as he approached and noted the robe he had chosen. A robe I had bought him while we were dating, one that had shown off his silver gray eyes perfectly and still did. He stood next to me and we both stared at the door before both of us knocked on the door lightly.
"Come in~!"
I heard an intake of breath and both of us took a look at each other before I turned the door knob and Lucius pushed the door open. Both of us stepped inside and saw a gorgeous site.
To Be Continued......
I am 100% sorry I had to end it there. ::Ducks rotten fruit::
I am working on chapter 12 so try not to flame me too much. I'm working without my muse so the first part is absolutely horrible. I managed to somewhat make it better when I wrote for Sev. I guess I work better when writing for dark angsty chars. -_-9
So enjoy and some sexing coming soon. I promise~!
Kat >^_^<