Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Passing Notes ❯ It Started With Hate ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: LoveangelLi
I could never understand how someone so beautiful could be so full of hate. I never thought about my hatred for this man. Maybe he wasn’t the only one filled with hate. That was until we started passing notes.

Non Anime: Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.18.2008 | Updated On: 11.18.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 5.7K | Visits: 379 | Status: Work In Progress

I could never understand how someone so beautiful could be so full of hate. First year came as the exciting beginning of my new experience into the magical world. Being a Muggleborn, I couldn't help but be amazed at the things I had always been told were fantasy. The world seemed so beautiful and accepting, I never knew of the dark history that came with the beauty; the hatred that came for my kind, my muggle heritage.
I took it in stride. From the first time I was called a Mud blood to the constant teasing I had to endure from a certain beautiful Slytherin. I would never let all the things spat at me bring my self-confidence down and today was no exception.
I sat in Defense Against the Dark Arts and did as I always did, copied all the notes word for word. Snape was being an extra big git today and I felt that my house had lost so many points that we must have been in the negatives by now. Harry and Ron were not helping the situation either though.
Harry had not been able to sleep well last night and was now leaning on his hand, drool sliding down his forearm. A light snore could be heard now and then as Harry slipped from dream to dream. The only time Harry wasn't snoring was when a particular blond Slytherin would curl up a piece of parchment and chuck it at Harry's head. Harry would burst from his slumber and make a big commotion. Snape, being in the mood he is, would smirk and make a snide comment before deducting points.
Ron would enter here, saying how unfair Snape was being. Snape would make a snide comment at Ron then deduct points from Ron. Ron would turn red, huff and mumble something rude under his breath, thinking Snape wouldn't notice. Well Snape did notice and would take even MORE points away. Though I loved them like brothers, they honestly need to learn when to keep their mouths shut.
I had tried to ignore the constant commotion that seemed to be coming from my two best mates and focused on the notes we would need for our upcoming practical. I had managed to stay out of the line of fire so far but I knew it was only a matter of time.
The class had calmed down and seemed to be quiet as Snape droned on with his lecture. As he was talking about the properties of the Conjunctivitis curse when I felt something hit my head. I moved my hand to the spot that had been struck only to find a piece of parchment stuck in my hair. I was having a particularly bad hair day that day with the rain and humidity and my hair was more puffed up than it normally was. I removed the parchment from my hair, hearing the snickers of three annoying Slytherin hyenas in the back of the room.
I sighed as I opened the parchment to see what stupid thing Malfoy and his lap dogs had come up with today. Written in his neat and elegant script was the rude comment I had expected. `Kept your precious Potter up all night did you Mud blood?' His lack of originality was astounding, as I had heard this from him on at least forty other occasions. Usually I would crumple the parchment up and continue on with my notes, but today I was not in my usual mood. Maybe it was the weather or all the activity but I was not going to let Malfoy have his words. I took my quill and wrote five simple words: `Yes, and it was fantastic.' I crumpled the parchment up, turned in my chair and chucked it at his stupid little face.
I had turned around quickly because Malfoy had not seen it coming and I had hit him right between the eyes. I knew playing softball in my younger years would pay off some day. Snape turned around to see why Malfoy had yelled out and when Malfoy said it was nothing, Snape went back to teaching. I couldn't help but giggle at the fact that I had hit him. It was refreshing to hear Malfoy with embarrassment in his voice.
I was prepared for the parchment when it came and wasn't surprised to feel that the ball had struck with a little more force. That made me smile at Malfoy's childish attempt to get back at me. I once again removed the parchment from my hair and opened it. I rolled my eyes at the parchment. He really did need to come up with new comebacks. At least she was trying something refreshing today. She looked back down at his response. `I never knew you were Potters whore, Mud Blood. You shagging Weasel too?'
I sighed. I picked up my quill and wrote a response I knew he wouldn't be expecting. `Oh yes, and sometimes both of them at once.' I smiled at myself, knowing he would be surprised to see those words. I crumpled the parchment and turned to see him glaring at me. I suppressed a chuckle as I saw a tiny red mark between his eyebrows. I threw it back at him gently and gave a sweet little smile as I turned back to my notes.
Malfoy didn't respond as quickly as he had the time before. That was another small victory for me as I listened to Snape's warning about the love potion. It had been so long between his responses that I jumped slightly in my chair when I felt the presence of something in my hair. I removed the parchment that seemed to be a new piece.
I smoothed out the wrinkles of the parchment and got a bit of a shock. There on the parchment was not his usual comeback. So he had decided to add something new to his repertoire. But even MORE shocking was what was written. `Really Granger, I thought you had higher standards than Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb. I never knew you would fuck down the social ladder.'
That was something I didn't know how to respond to. Had he actually given me a hidden compliment? What did he mean about me being up the social ladder? I didn't respond, I wouldn't know how too. I just crumpled the parchment up and tried to go back to my studies. It was harder than I wanted it to be.
All day I thought about what Malfoy had said to me. I tried to figure out what he had meant, why he would say those things to me. Was he insulting me? Was he leading me into a trap to be used against me at another date? It was maddening, not knowing what he had meant by his words. I didn't like there being things I didn't know. I liked knowing the reasoning behind things, the rationale. But in this situation I just didn't know what to make of it.
At dinner that evening I watched him. I just couldn't help myself. I saw Parkinson practically shagging him on the bench. Crabbe and Goyle must have been having a contest to see who could make the biggest pigs out of themselves as they shoved food into their mouths. He seemed to be unaware of the goings on around him however. His gray eyes just looked down at his food, and he would occasionally tell Parkinson to get off of him so he could eat. That was not his normal dinner behavior. Usually he would be basking in the attention Parkinson lavished on him. He would look about the Slytherin table like the prince he was nicknamed. I just didn't get it. Why was he being so different?
When I wanted to know something I either researched things or asked questions. So since I wanted to know why Malfoy was acting so oddly, I had to ask questions. After dinner I stuck close to the Great Hall. Harry and Ron wanted to go back to the common room for a round of wizard chess and I had told them to go on without me. I needed to find out why Malfoy was acting so oddly. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I knew.
I watched as he walked out of the Great Hall. Parkinson was hanging off his arm as Crabbe and Goyle flanked him like bodyguards. Parkinson was squealing something when I saw him look at me. Our eyes connected and I felt a shiver run down my spine. Whether that shiver was fear or excitement I couldn't tell but I knew I had gotten his attention. He removed Parkinson from his arm and told them he would meet up with them in the common room. Parkinson protested to being apart from her `Drakey' but Malfoy gave his infamous glare and she was off with a huff, the two meatheads following behind her.
He didn't come toward me; instead he inclined his head for me to follow him as he began walking. I didn't know what to do. I may be curious but I wasn't stupid. Following him could be bad, very bad. I would be alone with a suspected death eater. I could be hurt, crucioed, I could be… I stopped thinking of the could-ofs, and squared my shoulders. I wasn't afraid of him and I wouldn't let him have the pleasure of thinking such. So I followed. We walked up the stairs, down some halls, up more stairs, took turns and short cuts, all the time I was at least three feet behind him.
Finally we reached our stop, the astronomy tower. We walked into the empty classroom and I closed the door behind me, keeping my distance. We were both silent, unsure of what to say to the other. I didn't know about him but I doubted my sanity at this point. I was alone with Draco Malfoy. I didn't know what I was thinking; I didn't even know if I was thinking when I followed him. Yet here we stood, waiting for the other to speak first. Finally he broke the silence.
“Why were you watching me at dinner tonight?” It was a simple question but it still took me off guard.
I thought honesty was the best policy. “I was trying to figure out why you said those things to me today in potions.”
He scoffed; as if that was the dumbest answer he had ever heard. Hell to him it could have been. Hell to ME it didn't seem like a good reason but it was the honest reason. We were both silent again. He kept his eyes down to the floor, not looking at me. His face was unreadable. He didn't have his signature smirk or scowl. He didn't even look mad or upset. He looked… pensive. He looked as if he were trying to think of something to say. After some time I couldn't take the silence and I asked the one question I had been dying to ask him.
“Why did you say those things to me?”
His signature scowl made an appearance as he scoffed again. “Because that's what you are, a Mud Blood.”
I sighed as I shook my head. I took out the parchment he had thrown at me in potions. I had been keeping it in my pocket and re-reading it over and over again, trying to figure out the meaning behind his words. “No, This.” I took a few edgy steps toward him and handed him the note.
He took it without looking at me. His stormy eyes scanned the words he had written. He sat there. Not saying anything but reading and re-reading his words. It was unnerving having him be so silent. I didn't move. I just watched him. I could feel myself starting to tense as my mind began to think of all the things he could do next. Was he going to curse me? Was he going to yell at me and hit me? Was he going to…
“It's because it's true.” His voice pulled me out of my what ifs as I barely heard what he said.
“What?” I didn't know if it was because he had basically whispered those words or the sheer shock of it all, but I couldn't understand what he meant by that.
He stood and walked over to me, handing me the paper again. “I said it's because it's true.” He towered over me. I had never noticed how much taller he was than me until he stood before me. In fact he had never stood so close to me before. Usually he kept his distance; I always assumed it was because he didn't want to get my `Mud Blood' germs on him. But here he stood; so close I could smell his musky cologne. I could see his chest rise and fall as his school shirt pulled tight against it.
My mind was starting to fog as he stood so close to me. I never had the chance to allow myself to just admire his beauty. Many of the girls spoke of his beauty but I had always scoffed and put it aside as it being Malfoy, and Malfoy equaled disgusting. Being close to him there was no way to deny his natural beauty.
He had pale skin that seemed to glow in the dim light coming in through the windows. His skin looked smooth and soft. His hands were quite large and covered with calluses from quidditch. His body also seemed sculpted by the sport he played. His arms looked strong and thick with the muscles he had to keep himself on the broom. I could tell his stomach was tight and fit. I moved up to his lips, which were small and pink. He must have licked his lips recently for they seemed to glisten in the pale moonlight. His face was well sculpted with high cheekbones and a strong jaw line. Then there were his eyes. I had once feared those eyes being on me. Every time I saw them they were harsh and cold. The stormy gray adding to the chill you felt when they pierced through you. Yet now they were not as harsh and cold as I remembered. They seemed soft and I thought I saw a hint of confusion.
How had I never noticed how amazing his beauty was? Was it my hatred from him that had clouded me all these years? I never thought about my hatred for this man, I had always focused on the hatred he directed at me. Maybe he wasn't the only one filled with hate. Maybe I had equal, if more hatred for him. We both took blows at each other, both glared when the other caught our eye. We responded the same way around each other, we always reacted with hate. This thought made me wonder, when had I become the person I hated? When had Malfoy and I become the same?
He shifted his weight, an edge of discomfort creeping into his body language. I blushed as I noticed I must have been starring. I looked away from him, trying to cool my flaming cheeks. I remembered what he had said; `I said it's because it's true.' I didn't understand the meaning behind that phrase and reverted back to my inquiring state.
“What do you mean by that? `Because it's true'?” I whispered, a little embarrassed by how weak my voice sounded. He was getting to me and not in the way I was used to. I was prepared to handle his biting remarks, his name-calling, and his fierce cold stare. I just wasn't prepared for the soft looks, the warm glances he sent toward me and the tenderness of his voice.
He scoffed; he seemed to be doing that often tonight. “Look Granger,” He ran a hand through his messy blond hair. He seemed to be uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “You...” He stopped as he reconsidered his words. “Look you're...” he stopped again. I could see him getting more frustrated with himself as the harshness started to leak into his gaze. “You're better than them, ok? You are so much smarter than those blundering idiots you associate with. You are going to do great things, become incredibly successful and all on your merits alone. You don't have anyone's name to fall back on and you don't need it. Pot head has his stupid legacy and Weasel isn't going anywhere but back to his hole while you will go out and take over the world.”
I was blown away. I hadn't expected that. I hadn't even THOUGHT he would be capable of paying me such high compliments. I was stuck; I didn't know how to respond to such wonderful words coming from someone I thought was so horrible. I just stood there, eyes wide and mouth open. I didn't know what was going on until I felt his soft lips against mine.
I looked at him as if he had four heads. He was leaning down, his hands gently placed on my shoulders and he had kissed me. His lips didn't move against mine, just pressed lightly. I could feel the softness of his lips, the warmth of his breath and that amazing scent floating up into my nose.
The kiss was over as fast as it had come. He leaned back and had opened his eyes, staring right into mine. I must have looked like a tomato because my face was so warm. I couldn't think, I couldn't move, I couldn't even breathe. All I could do was look back up into his eyes, wondering if that had actually happened. Wondering if this was reality, or if I had followed Ron and Harry back to the common room and had fallen asleep there.
Malfoy looked away, his eyes and face unreadable. He walked back over to his cloak, picked it up and headed for the door.
I heart was racing as I watched him walk toward the door. I didn't want him to go just yet. I had a million more questions to ask him and I just couldn't let him leave without having some answers. I reached out and grabbed his arm. I whispered his name as if I spoke it any louder the moment would slip away, “Draco.”
He stopped walking as I held his arm. He didn't turn around, he didn't try and take his arm back, he just stood there. I didn't know what to say; I hadn't thought that far ahead. I just knew I wanted him to stay. I walked around to face him, to see if I could uncover his thoughts through his eyes. I moved close to his front and just looked at his face.
His face held the cool demeanor he always wore around others but his eyes were no longer guarded. I could see my confusion mirrored in his eyes. The wonder of what had happened and what would happen flickered through those stone eyes. I didn't know what came over me but my confusion drained away as I lifted up on the balls of my feet and pushed my lips to his.
It was just as simple as the kiss he had given me but this time my body was much closer to his. I pulled my arms close to my chest and just enjoyed the feel of his lips pressed against mine. I then felt his lips move against mine as his arms found their way around my waist. He began to move his lips more against mine. I had kissed boys before, but this kiss was somehow different. It seemed scary, wonderful, and dangerously forbidden all at once.
I waited a moment; simply enjoying the soft kiss he gave me before moving my arms away from my chest and around his neck. I wanted to feel how soft his hair was, how amazing his chest would feel against mine, how it would feel if I forgot my hatred and enjoyed the beautiful boy in front of me.
My hands moved up into his hair and it was like touching silk. The soft golden locks fell through my fingers as I pushed myself closer to him. Everything felt new and wonderful. I seemed to fit right into him as his chest pushed against mine. All I could think of was how I didn't want to stop kissing him; I never wanted to stop kissing him.
His arms wrapped tighter around my waist as one hand ran up my back and into my hair. He pushed my head closer to his as we deepened our kiss. His tongue was now moving against mine and it was like nothing I had ever experienced. He was skilled beyond anyone I had ever been with and he surpassed me by leaps and bounds. I had kissed before but I had never kissed with the skill he possessed. I felt embarrassed that he might not enjoy my kissing. I stopped then, pulling away just an inch so our lips were no longer touching.
I looked up and saw him looking at me. So many questions were in his eyes, so many thoughts. I shivered at the intensity in his eyes. He began to pull back a bit more but I held firm, I didn't want him to. I wanted him to stay close to me, keep his body close against mine. When he felt my resistance he stopped and continued to stare at me. We both just stared, unsure of what to do. Our minds and bodies were fighting, arguing weather we should stay or go. Weather we should continue with our intimate encounter or part ways and forget it ever happened.
He made the first move in kissing me again. This kiss was different; this kiss was more than simple. It was more passionate, more intimate, and more intense. He picked me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. He started to walk with me, his arms holding me tightly so I wouldn't fall. Soon he set me on a desk as he leaned over me, pushing me down against the table.
His hands started to roam then, moving up and down my sides, moving my shirt away from my body. I could feel the cool fall air tickling my sides as his hands gingerly touched my skin. I shivered at the tickling sensation of his touch. I followed his lead and moved my hands from his shoulders to his chest. I could feel the tension in his muscles as I ran my hands over them. I didn't know if the tension was from the situation or holding himself up but I ignored it, continuing my exploration.
I was deathly curious at this point. I had heard of the wonder that was his body, Lavender singing his praises as often as she could. I wanted to see it for myself. See if what Lavender said was true. See if his body was the splendor that her tales depicted. I moved my hands under his shirt and moved up his abs. I heard myself moan, unaware that I was the one making it at the time. His skin was just as smooth as it looked as the softness of his skin contrasted with the harshness of his muscles. I had never felt anything like this. His muscles were toned and long helping him to keep his slim appearance.
He was better than the tales I had heard. Lavender did not do his body the justice it deserved. When artists and poets wrote of tales of beautifully perfect men they meant Draco. I moved my hands over his back to feel the same contrast as his chest. He had moved from kissing my mouth to kissing my neck. He would kiss my skin, nipping and licking at certain spots.
I felt a pooling of moisture between my thighs as he moved one of his legs between mine, parting them. His hands moved from my sides up toward my breasts. I stiffened instinctually. Though the man was intoxicating and deliciously arousing I didn't know if I was prepared to give myself to him. I didn't know if I could trust him with my most precious gift. I had never gone past an intense song feast and I didn't know if I wanted Draco to be the first.
He stopped as he felt me stiffen and pulled away from kissing my neck. He moved to look at me again and saw the doubt on my face. I didn't know what he was thinking, feeling. I needed to know, I needed to understand his motives in kissing me, touching me. But I didn't think he would be willing to give them to me. I didn't think he would be willing to trust in me just like I wasn't ready to trust in him.
He pulled back again and this time I didn't stop him. My doubts and distrust had been too great to continue to push aside. I fixed my shirt and skirt, making sure they were in the proper place. Draco also fussed with his clothes as he moved his pants trying to gain some sort of relief from the obvious tenting.
I looked away blushing. I didn't know how to feel about what we had just done, and I didn't know what he would say about it. I felt his cloak on my shoulders and looked up at him.
“Let me take you back to your common room.” He didn't look at me while he said this but rather looked at the door. I nodded looking down at the floor as I jumped off the desk. I felt so embarrassed. He must think I'm some slut like I pretended to be in the note. He had said such wonderful things about me but what if they were just words to get me to loosen up and forget his injustices against me.
We walked in silence, Draco walking in step with me. We didn't look at each other or touch each other, we just walked. Soon we reached my common room door and I had, again, more questions I wanted answered. Yet this time I didn't have the courage to ask the questions. I woke the fat lady and told her the password; it must be later than I thought. Definitely passed curfew. The portrait swung open and I turned to tell Draco thank you when his lips were on mine again. It was another sweet kiss, simple, just his lips pressed against mine. He pulled back and cupped my face with his hand.
“Good night Granger,” he said softly.
“Good night Draco,” I responded as I turned and walked through the portrait, his cloak billowing behind me.