Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Returning to you ❯ Back ( Chapter 1 )

Pairing: Sirius Black & Harry Potter

Series: Harry Potter

Warnings: NC-17, slash, yaoi, angst, MAJOR SPOILERS FROM ALL THE BOOKS!

Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, they would really be together.

 

***

 

If someone did not read that warning above: here's another one, just in case: If you have not read the 7th book, you will spoil the ending and the whole book for yourself. So, if you don't like spoilers, do not read any further. Thanks ^^

 

***

 

"Have you..." he began. "I mean, who... has anyone you know ever died?"

"Yes, said Luna simply, "my mother. She was a quite extraordinary witch, you know, but she did like to experiment and one of her spells went rather badly wrong one day. I was nine."

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled.

"Yes, it was rather horrible," said Luna conversationally. "I still feel very sad about it sometimes. But I've still got Dad. And anyway, it's not as though I'll never see Mum again, is it?"

"Er- isn't it?" said Harry uncertainly.

She shook her head in disbelief.

"Oh come on. You heard them, just behind the veil, didn't you?"

"You mean..."

"In that room with the archway. They were lurking out of sight, that's all. You heard them."

They looked at each other. Luna was smiling slightly. Harry did not know what to say, or to think; Luna believed so many extraordinary things... yet he had been sure he had heard voices behind the veil, too.

 

***

 

RETURNING TO YOU

 

It had been 20 years he had defeated the feared Lord Voldemort. And life had been blissful after that, nothing could have gotten better. He had three wonderful children, all of them capable future wizards, his best friends were happily married and-

 

His wife was dead.

 

He had, of course, realized a long time ago that not all his enemies were defeated. But most of them were in Azkaban and he hadn't really feared for his life since Voldemort had died. Nor for the ones he loved. And he supposed he had been reckless, in a way. He should have been more careful. It was easy to say now.

But it had never occurred to him that they would go for her, not him. He should have known better. And so, Ginny was murdered when he wasn't there to defend her. And it wasn't like she couldn't take care of herself. Harry had never feared to leave her alone or let her go in those long Quidditch tours when she was still playing in the Holyhead Harpies team.

 

And then, all of a sudden, like everyone else in Harry's life, she was gone.

 

He still visited her grave, weekly, with the kids. They were all so big now, and comforted him enormously. And he was happy he had had twenty years with her. That she had seen their kids grow up for this long. Little Lily was still very small, not even the age to go to school, so she was home a lot and Harry never really felt alone, though Ginny's death had left a hole inside of him that even the kids were unable to fill.

Ron and Hermione took care of Lily a lot when Harry felt like he couldn't handle her by himself. He enjoyed being alone in those rare times. Or spending time with Neville in Hogwarts, remembering their youth. Or with Hagrid, hiking far away from everything and everyone where he could forget it all.

He missed her. And he missed his parents. And- most of all, he still missed Sirius.

 

It had taken him a lot of guts and a lot of time before he had been able to tell everything to Ginny. About Sirius. About them. And about the fact that just before Sirius had died, they had turned from loving godson and -father to lovers.

It had all started so innocently, almost accidentally. Sirius later told him that he never meant Harry to hear him, that he was prepared to go on with his life without ever telling Harry how he really felt. He was a good man and Harry was just a boy, but neither of them could help their emotions.

 

And Harry had heard Sirius. Late one night during a Christmas Holiday, they were staying in Grimmauld Place, the whole lot of them. Sirius had thought Harry was sleeping and had sneaked secretly into his and Ron's room and kneeled down next to his bed. With his coarse voice he had whispered to him, stroking the boys hair, telling how much he lover Harry.

Harry would never, in his life, forget that moment. How blood had rushed to his cheeks and his heart had started beating so fast that it was painful. How he had opened his eyes and there it had been. The beginning of it all. The hidden secret between the two of them. Those few blissful moments shared in secrecy, behind everyone's backs, without anyone knowing.

 

Harry had been too young then, only 15, so Sirius had done his best to hold back even when sometimes Harry made it imminencely difficult. The older man had put his body in fire that nothing seemed to be able to douse. But still they had never gone beyond a few less innocent touches and kisses. He had never forced Harry to do more than he had wanted and sometimes Harry would have wanted so much more than what was given to him. But they had promised to wait, they thought, at that time, that they had all the time in the world.

 

Hermione had guessed it almost immediately. She was sometimes so smart it made Harry angry. But she had never said a word about it to anyone else and never tried to make Harry stop. She trusted him to know what he was doing.

After Sirius died, after he slid behind the veil, after that faithful moment, Hermione had given her comfort without saying a word, she knew and didn't have to tell it aloud.

Bellatrix's yell often still echoed inside his head

“”Did you love him, little baby Potter?”

… And how he had never told it to Sirius, not with his words, though he hoped the man knew it still, his every touch had surely shown it.

 

But so much was stolen from them when Sirius had gone away, they had never had the time; the time to truly get to know each other, to do more than talk and kiss and touch. And Harry regretted that more than anything, thought Hermione kept saying that it would have been so much harder to let go if they had been more intimate than they had. But Harry felt that he had been denied a precious memory that should have happened. He missed him so much…

 

It had been difficult to tell about it to Ginny, but Harry felt that she had to know too. After all, he did love her and Sirius was a big part of the man Harry had become. She had taken the news well, though it had clearly shocked her. After that, for years, when someone mentioned Sirius, Ginny tensed up and tried to change the subject. When her father fixed Sirius's bike and gave it to Harry, she seemed angry that he took it. And she always looked slightly insulted when he went for a ride. But Harry knew she saw a certain look in his eyes when ever Sirius was mentioned, and she was right to be a little jealous. Even when Sirius was gone, he had a place in Harry's heart that nobody else could ever take.

And now, so did Ginny. But as before, when someone important had died, life had gone on. And so it did again.

 

She had died after Christmas. The boys had been in school and Harry had travelled there right away with Lily, staying in Hogwarts for a long time. The familiar surroundings helped him to get over the grief and his kids there kept him strong and had all the comfort any of them needed. The summer was difficult, with the kids coming home from school and their old home feeling so cold and abandoned. But Harry had Ron and Hermione and their whole family to take care of things when he felt like he couldn't do it anymore.

Kreacher was very helpful too, in those small ways that made Harry's life easier. He was old but he still served the family well. And they had a new house elf too, a young girl who had wanted to leave her place in the Hogwarts kitchen to serve the Potter family, she had greatly admired Dobby.

 

Then the next fall came and with it, the train back to Hogwarts. It seemed that James and Albus were glad to go and Lily hoped more than ever that she could go with them. One more year and she would be going too. Time went fast, even when everything seemed a bit blurry and strange for Harry, so very unreal.

It was gloomy and sad at home. Most of the time she stayed at the Weasleys where Molly took care of all the kids who were too young to go to Hogwarts. Ron's and Hermione's son Hugo was there too and Lily liked to spend time with him.

She wanted to be with her dad too, but after Ginny's death Harry was very quiet and not much of a company for a ten year-old girl. He liked to occupy himself with work and even with Voldemort gone, there were always dark wizards and witches to catch, and those who broke the rules and used dark magic.

 

The Aurors had caught Ginny's killers quickly and they were all in Azkaban. Sometimes Harry wished the dementors were still ruling the place, he didn't want her killers to have one peaceful day left in their lives. But most of the time, he refused to think about them, they didn't deserve his thoughts. Instead he thought about everyone he still had and often those who he had lost. He was sure he would never be able to get close to anyone in his life again, in fear of loosing them too. And he really didn't want to be close to anyone. He had loved twice in his life and both times things had ended in death.

 

***

 

He was sitting in front of the table, it was an ordinary morning. Kreacher was just finishing making breakfast and after that Harry would leave for the Ministry to go to work. Another empty day, another day with nothing to expect. But he didn't even think about giving up. He had his three precious children who he loved more than life. He would live for them if for nothing else, they still needed him.

 

He read through the newspaper and sipper his tea slowly. He hadn't shaved or washed his hair for a few days and as he put on his jacket and scarf to step out of the door into the brisk fall air, he glanced at his reflection from the mirror and grimaced. But it didn't really matter if he looked ruffled and unkept, who would complain?

He closed the door behind himself and stared into the dark grey rain and apparated to the ministry.

 

Immediately after stepping inside the Auror office, it was clear that something big had happened. Everyone was whispering and running around, glancing at each other and at Harry as he stepped in. He walked into his little cubicle and tossed away his scarf, sitting down. Someone would come and explain the situation to him, that's how it always went. And soon someone was hurrying to him, though who it was, made Harry realize that it really was something serious. Hermione stopped next to his desk.

 

There was an unreadable look on her face as she started to speak.

“Harry-“ she started, then stopped, seemingly confused about what to say next. She pulled a chair to his desk and sat down close to him. Harry edged closer so she wouldn't have to talk loudly. She glanced around, then turned back to him. “Harry, I have some big news. Something very big has happened.”

Automatically Harry's hand reached for the scar on his forehead and Hermione shook her head hastily “No, no, it's not- Voldemort is still dead. It's nothing bad. It's good news.”

Now her lips quivered into a nervous smile and then spread wider, like she couldn't control herself anymore, she bit her lip to stop smiling. Harry was looking at her with confusion. “Well, what is it?”

 

“We opened the veil.” Hermione said loudly, then stared at Harry, waiting for his reaction. Harry stared back. “Er-“ he said, still confused.

The veil? Then something jumped inside him, violently shaking his insides upside down and suddenly he felt very faint. He grabbed the edge of the table, his fingers white. “The veil?” he whispered hoarsely. Hermione nodded back.

“And? What happened?” he continued, now staring at her so intensely that she fidgeted. He had moved closer to her and still his hand was gripping the edge of the table.

“We succeeded to pull them out. Everyone inside it. They are all alive and almost unharmed, it's amazing” Hermione whispered so quietly that Harry's ringing ears almost missed her words. He had to close his eyes, his head was spinning. He let out a strangled whisper “Everyone?”

“Yes, everyone.” her whisper sounded nervous and thrilled and finally, with an effort, Harry opened his green eyes to look into her excited face. “He's back?”

Hermione nodded.

 

***

 

They were rushing along the long hallways downstairs. The way had never felt this long. Harry didn't know how exactly they had gotten here, everything had gone blurry when he had let go of the table. He didn't remember if he had said something or had Hermione just led the way. But now he was following her, several floors under the Auror office. His heart was beating fast, he didn't register anyone they passed nor replied to their greetings.

 

Sirius was back!

 

And nothing else mattered. He kept staring at her long hair as they walked hurriedly towards where ever they were, where ever he was.

Then all of a sudden she stopped and Harry almost pumped into her in his hurry. They were facing a door at the end of a corridor and he stared at it like hypnotized, waiting for it to open and reveal- Hermione spoke suddenly and he had to wake from his thoughts. He turned to face her.

“He's there. They all are. There were a few dozen people in the veil and they all seem to be quite okay and unchanged, both physically and mentally.”

 

Harry tried to step past her without a word but she blocked his way “But Harry, there's something else you should know.” Harry stared at her, his green eyes wide with panic and anger. He didn't want to talk, he had to go. Sirius was waiting! She touched his arm calmingly and whispered her words softly. “He has no recollection of the time spent- there.” she said and finally Harry gave her his full attention

“It's like- it's like there was no time where ever they were.”

“What do you mean?” he asked and his voice sounded shallow, unlike his own. Hermione stared at him seriously “Harry, he hasn't aged a day. He's alive, obviously, but other than that, he's unchanged.”

For a moment it was completely silent. There was no sound, from anywhere. Everything swirled in Harry's mind and he couldn't quite understand the meaning of her words “What?”

“He looks exactly the way he looked when he di- fell in to the veil” she said, her eyes observing him with worry. “He knows it has been a long time, they were all told that, and I think they have figured out it was a long time, but I don't think he has any idea it's been twenty-two years.”

“Hasn't anyone told him?” Harry almost yelled angrily. Hermione shook her head.

“Why?” Harry asked, now turning around and pacing the narrow hallway back and forth “Hasn't he seen anyone? Recognized anyone? Why didn't you tell him?”

“We thought it would be too much of a shock right after they returned. And nobody wanted to tell it, they didn't know how. They know they are safe, they've been isolated here since yesterday when they were brought back. And Harry-“ she stepped in front of him and he had to stop. He stared down at her angrily

“All he talks about, is you. He wants to see you. And only you.”

Harry didn't know what to say back. Emotions he had suppressed for over twenty years, rushed back and made him feel so unreal that he just stared at her, gasping, his cheeks flushing red and his eyes swelling with tears. He blinked several times, still staring at her. He realized he had somehow moved closer to the wall and was now leaning to it. “He wants to see me?”

“Yes.”

“And what? You just decided to let me tell him? To walk in from that door and look completely different from before and just- for Merlin's sake, I'm older than he is!“ he stopped, his voice was loud and he was afraid that it would carry to the other side of the door. She looked slightly ashamed but nodded all the same. “Only a few years. You're almost the same age actually. But yes. It must be you, you must tell him.”

“…Right.”

 

***

 

And then she was gone, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts, outside the door where, on the other side, Sirius waited.

He stared at the door, already holding the handle, but unable to open it. He rubbed at his forehead, a bad habit he had developed. When ever he was nervous his hand went to his scar. And suddenly he remembered he had not washed his hair, nor shaved. He rubbed at his chin, feeling the slight stubble there, stroking back his messy hair. He sighed and cursed himself inwardly. Of course something like this happened just when he looked like shit. He hoped he had a mirror and was glad he didn't have one. He didn't want to look at himself now. His heart was beating against his ribs painfully, making breathing a laborious task. He felt sweaty and too hot and his throat felt too tight.

Nervously he pulled at his cloak, touched his wand in his pocket briefly, collecting courage and without another thought, opened the door.

 

The room was almost dark, lit only by candles in beautiful candelabrums on small shelves on the walls. There were beds lined up along the walls and people were sitting and laying on them, some reading books, some talking to each other, a few of them sleeping. Very few paid any attention to him, people must have been running in and out of the room all day. The ones who turned to look at him, looked irritated and bored.

 

His gaze went around the room quickly and then he heard his voice. His eyes followed the voice and immediately he found him, lounging on a bed close to the other end of the room, arguing with someone. His long limbs were the same as in his memories, though his upper body was covered inside a black cloak, similar to everyone else's in the room.

 

Harry stepped forward and slowly, step by step, edged nervously closer to him. The room felt longer than the hallways they had ran along to get down here. He didn't look to either side of him, he couldn't move his eyes from him.

Sirius was sitting on his bed, his other leg spread on the bed, other on the floor. His hands were moving animatedly as the man next to him explained something to him loudly. The dark hair on his arms drew Harry's eyes and he couldn't stop staring at his hands, flailing around as Sirius answered back to the man, laughing loudly at the mans reply. His laugh sounded like a bark of a big dog. Harry swallowed at the familiar sound and felt his breath caught in his throat. He saw the man who was talking with Sirius lift his head to look at him and say something to Sirius.

 

Slowly Sirius turned. It felt like forever and then his piercing gaze locked straight onto Harry's face. Harry stopped and could no longer move. His breath hissed in his dry throat and he tried to swallow. He knew he was pale and must look awful. He felt terrified, his whole body seemed petrified.

 

For a moment that seemed like an eternity they just stared at each other. Then Sirius stood up, moving quickly, his every movement so familiar and still so strange. It had been so long. He was only slightly taller than Harry now. He observed the long haired man walk towards him and felt like his legs would soon give from under him.

Then Sirius spoke, his black brows turned into a frown. “Who are you?”

Harry felt like he had been hit on the face. He was unable to reply. He knew his voice would fail him. And so they stared at each other in stunned silence. The rest of the room seemed to observe them, everyone staring. Harry realized that none of these people knew who he was, nobody recognized him, nobody whispered his name like so often happened when walking into a room full of people. He couldn't even blink as he stared back into Sirius's grey eyes. Then Sirius spoke again, his eyes suddenly growing huge. All colour seemed to drain from his face and his voice was nothing but a whisper.

“How long was I gone?”

 

Harry knew he would have to reply. He would have to speak. Sirius stepped closer to him, observing him with new eyes, his hand rose up, reaching for Harry and then slowly, very slowly pushing a black fringe of hair away from his eyes and forehead, touching the famous scar there. Harry let out a loud, nervous gasp and Sirius's eyes snapped back into his.

 

There was such a mixture of emotions in his eyes that Harry could hardly control himself. Relief, shock, happiness, -love? All mixed there, in his grey beautiful eyes. It felt so strange to look into his eyes from almost the same height, not from below as before. And to still find them the same, able to pull him deep inside and strip him naked from everything but the incredibly strong love he still felt for this man. Sirius seemed shrunken somehow, very thin but still so very strong, so incredibly handsome.

 

“Twenty-two years.” Harry whispered, finally finding his voice. It sounded too low for him and Sirius's lips quivered, his eyes flashing with shock. Harry's eyes snapped from his eyes to his lips and back again and suddenly he had a terrible urge to embrace the man, to kiss him, to drag him somewhere alone. To touch him, to tell him how much he had missed him, longed for him, how much he still loved him, how-

But he had no time to do any of those things as Sirius suddenly grabbed him, almost painfully hard, into a tight embrace. His hands around Harry were shaking. And quickly Harry hugged him back, gripping the back of his cloak into his fists and burying his face against his long black hair. He felt Sirius's thin body enfold his into it's heat and security, his head burying deeper against his neck. He held tighter, closing his eyes and trying to suppress the emotions from surfacing, he had to stay calm, he had to stay calm, he had to… a shudder shook his body and suddenly he was crying like a child, gripping Sirius harder against him, his legs finally giving up under him.

 

He felt the ground hit his knees and clung to Sirius who kneeled next to him. Sirius who was now massaging Harry's shoulders calmingly. He seemed to have calmed down with Harry's emotional outburst.

And all the grief Harry had been holding back, all the loneliness, all the horror, everything erupted to the surface and he couldn't stop, he cried loudly, trying to hide his face into Sirius's cloak as the man mumbled calming words into his ear. In that moment it felt that the years between them had been erased, that he was again just a boy who was allowed to cry and be comforted like this by the older and smarted Sirius.

 

It took a long while for Harry to finally calm down enough to wipe his eyes into his sleeve. When he looked around, he realized they were still in the middle of a big group of people who were all staring at the two grown men sitting on the floor. The thought made him first embarrassed and then a hysterical laugh escaped his lips. Sirius seemed confused and worried as he lifted his face from Harry's neck to stare at him. Harry was now wiping his nose to the sleeve of his black cloak, giggling nervously. His glasses were so hazy he could hardly see so he removed them and cleaned them to his sleeve too, before putting them back on. When he looked up at Sirius, he had a goofy smile on his face. Sirius was staring at him with concern. “You okay there?”

Harry nodded, smiling a little bit wider. The laughing fit was over. “I can't believe this is real.” he whispered heavily, stroking Sirius's long hair back from his face. His eyes were misty with tears but he had calmed down too.

Harry couldn't stop touching the man in front of him, even when he knew everyone around them was watching. Finally he got up with shaky legs and helped Sirius up. Then he was rushing to the door. Sirius followed him, almost stumbling onto his own legs. He looked very confused. “Where are we going?” he asked as Harry opened the door. He looked back at him “Somewhere private.” he said as the door closed behind them. He heard Sirius's approving grunt from behind him.

 

A bathroom. Anything. They needed a private place. Harry thought feverishly and then remembered. He was almost running, still pulling Sirius after him. They passed a room full of people and Harry sped up his steps. Sirius was gripping his hand almost painfully hard.

 

They reached a door, Harry pulled it open and taking both of Sirius's hands into his, pulled the slightly taller man after him. It was dark and he reached for his wand, murmuring “Lumos”, lighting the room up until he found the light switch and turned the light on.

It was small, there were just a few shelves there, full of sheets of paper ready to grumble down. Old archives of something, Harry didn't know nor cared what at the moment. Sirius was looking at him with that awed expression on his face again.

 

Harry stopped looking around and turned to face him and immediately Sirius's hands were around him, his lean, tall body pressed against his and his face so close that his long hair tickled Harry's cheeks. They were both breathing heavily after the run, staring heatedly into each other's eyes. Harry smelled the familiar dark scent of Sirius and reached his hands to hold his godfather's familiar, youthful face in his hands. He looked into his grey eyes and had no idea what he should say. He could imagine the confusion Sirius was feeling, finding Harry grown up into a man. Again he remembered his messy appearance and hoped he could clean up somewhere. But it didn't matter. Sirius was there!

 

“You're about my age now, right?” Sirius asked suddenly and Harry blinked and then nodded hastily. “It's- er- been a long time.” he said nervously and then laughed faintly, stroking Sirius's clean shaven cheek with his thumb. His insides were flaming up as he felt the other mans warm body press against his and felt Sirius's body reply, felt him hardening against him.

Sirius searched something from his eyes, his brow furrowed, ignoring the condition of their bodies, there were more important things at hand right now.

“Harry,” Sirius started, talking quickly, hurriedly, wanting to tell all this finally, finally he was allowed. His voice was hoarse with emotions “I know I've been gone for almost a lifetime for you and a lot has happened in your life, I, we-“ he tried to find the words and was so worried he didn't know how to express himself that his expression turned almost painful. He had to know, he needed to find out.

But suddenly Harry stopped him “Yes. A lot has happened and I don't even know where to start telling about it all. I can't believe they told you nothing!” he sounded angry and Sirius looked worried. Harry smiled reassuringly. “I- we won. I mean, Voldemort is dead. Has been, for a long time. And I-“ now he had to stop. He didn't know how to break this to Sirius. He had been married, he had three children he loved above all- no, just as much as he loved Sirius, just differently.

 

His face softened into a sad smile “Yeah, a lot of things have happened, but I am still, and forever will be, yours.” he whispered and Sirius's eyes widened, his lips parted and he pressed himself just a tiny bit tighter against Harry. He was sure he could feel the taller mans racing heartbeat against his own chest.

 

As Sirius continued saying nothing, only staring at him with his grey, amazed eyes, Harry spoke again with a shaky, unsure voice “If you'll still have me, the way I am now.” now he was nervous. A cold horror spread over his body as he stared into Sirius's eyes and the quiet moment spread unbearably long in Harry's mind. His hands gripped a tighter hold of Sirius's back. Then Sirius's lips moved and before Harry could prepare himself, Sirius pushed him hard against the wall and kissed him feverishly, desperately, his hands grasping Harry's messy hair and his body pushing itself closer, his leg pushing Harry's apart. Then, just as abruptly, he stopped. He was grinning as he looked back at Harry's now flushed face, his eyes glinting strangely.

“Harry. I love you!” he yelled out, almost laughing. “And to return to you to find you a man is- it's amazing. The only thing holding me back before was the fact that you were too young and I didn't want to take an advantage of you, you were still a child and I knew James would have hated me if I would have done anything with or to you then, but now, Harry!” he stroked Harry's flat chest and almost laughed again “Is this even real? Let it be real. This time nothing is going to take me away from you.” he almost snarled trough the happy tears that were now glistering in his eyes.

 

Harry laughed as Sirius launched himself on him again, kissing him. He thumbed the back of his head to the wall as the man pushed him hard against it again and still couldn't stop giggling trough the feverish, passionately kisses Sirius was drowning him in. He felt like he was fifteen again, shut in a broom closet with Sirius, sharing one of the rare, brief moments of intimacy they had had time to share. He didn't want them to return back to the hallway because that was where real life waited, his obligations, his work and everyone who wanted to know what had happened. And how in the hell was he going to explain Sirius to the kids?

 

Then he felt Sirius's hand digging into his loins and all rational thoughts escaped him as he ground himself against the other man, moaning into his mouth. Sirius's fingers were prying his cloak up and as they finally got the hang of the hem, pushed his trousers down. He could do nothing but press himself harder against Sirius and hope he would continue. He felt imminencely young and inexperienced, not knowing what he should do now and nervous to do what he wanted to. But it was Sirius, his Sirius, kissing him and touching him. He slid his hands along Sirius's back and the man shivered, panting into the kiss.

His mind told him that there was time for this later. That they should talk now, not do this. But his heart screamed him to go on, to finally fulfil every dream that had left unfulfilled before, to finally make all of the dreams come true, all the things that had been denied of him before. And Sirius seemed to agree. He was feverishly tugging at Harry's pants, almost clawing at them to get them undone. Harry helped and Sirius used that time to lift his own cloak enough to get access to his pants. He was wearing long, black trousers that he unbuttoned as quickly as he could and then attacked Harry's, helping him unzip and tuck his pants lower to his thighs.

Sirius mouth was hungrily exploring Harry's and both of the men were whispering incomprehensible words into each other mouths and moaning deep throaty moans. Then Sirius slipped his hand into Harry's briefs and his legs buckled under him. The long haired man settled his knee in between Harry's legs, keeping him upright. His touch on Harry's cock was urgent, heated and strong as he stroked his quickly hardening erection. Harry thrust into his hand and forgot what he was supposed to do with Sirius's pants.

 

This was further they had ever gotten before. Sirius had never touched him like this. And already he was growing addicted to the coarse and strong hands handling him so roughly and lovingly. Harry had to break their kiss and soon he buried his face into Sirius's neck, panting against the cool skin.

“You've grown up Harry…” Sirius mumbled and he could hear the smirk in his voice. Then Sirius's other hand was guiding Harry's hand to his own erection. Harry grasped it eagerly and started stroking him, much more gently than Sirius. He wasn't sure he was doing it right and didn't want to hurt Sirius. But the taller man seemed to like what he was doing as he pressed his knee higher and let out a grunt. “Oh Harry-“ he whispered and kissed Harry's ear. Then his free hand sought out Harry's and pressing closer, entwined their fingers together around both of their cocks, pressing them together and stroking them hard.

 

Harry moaned and the back of his head thumbed against the wall again. He let Sirius move their hands as the pressure between his legs grew too big for him to think anything rational anymore. He bit his lip not to be too loud. Faintly he still remembered where they were. Sirius didn's seem to care, his voice was like a bark of a dog as he neared his climax and thrust his cock against Harry's, into their joined hands. “My- mhhh, Si- ah- Sirius!” Harry panted out blearily and Sirius answered with a whine as his back suddenly arched and he pushed harder into their hands, spilling his seed into their closed fists. Some of it spilled out and smeared Harry's sleeve.

It was so wet and slippery and tight that Harry came with a whisper of the other mans name on his lips, his hips bucking upwards and his fingers squeezing Sirius's tightly.

 

When Harry was able to breath almost normally again and his ears were no longer ringing and he could almost see, he looked up into Sirius's face and saw the man licking his hand clean, his tongue lapping at their mixed semen. Harry swallowed hard and felt his cock twitch again. Sirius smiled at him so warmly that Harry blushed, suddenly aware what they had just done, in a closet in the ministry, no less. He chuckled nervously and Sirius kissed him. He tasted himself on his lips. Then the long haired man was tucking him back into his pants. He wouldn't have been able to do it himself, his hands were still shaking too badly.

 

The hem of his cloak was smeared with cum. He hoped nobody would notice it. Sirius wiped the almost transparent fluid away as best as he could before closing his own pants and arranging his cloak into some sort of order. Harry couldn't stop staring at him, his lips twitching upwards. Neither of them was speaking, but they kept glancing at each from the corners of their eyes. Then finally Sirius stopped fussing with their clothes and stood up, facing Harry. His breath was now even and if Harry hadn't been present a while ago, he wouldn't think anything perverted had been going on in here. Though he could still taste his semen in Sirius's kiss. He licked his lips and the other man took that as a sign to kiss him again.

 

Harry fought the growing desire. If they kept this on, they would never be able to leave the closet and there really were a lot of things they should talk about. He stroked Sirius's back and the man leaned a little further away, his body still pressed warmly against Harry's.

“Sirius. There are a lot of things I need to tell you.”

Sirius just nodded and prepared to listen, his eyes eager and observant and his lips, swollen and red from kissing, in a small smile as he twiddled Harry's short hair in his fingers, touching his scar again. Harry took a deep breath. “I was married.” he finally said bluntly and Sirius stared at him for a moment, not seeming angry, only surprised. “Were? What happened?” his fingers had stopped and his hand hovered over Harry's face.

Harry was amazed he was taking it so well. If he had woken up suddenly with the world changed all around him and nobody the same as before, he couldn't be that calm. But then he searched for Sirius's eyes and saw fear there. The man tried to hide it, but it was there. He took a firmer hold of Sirius, pulling him closer by his waist “Ginny died.” he said with a low voice. He was sure Sirius could hear the sadness in his voice and didn't even try to hide it. The pain was still too fresh. “Last winter… It's now fall.” he added and as Sirius stayed quiet, his hands resting on Harry's hips, he continued.

 

“I have three children.” now he burst into a smile and couldn't help but smile even wider as he saw the shock on Sirius's face. Then his godfather was laughing softly. “I'm happy. I never wanted you to stay alone if I died.” he looked slightly nervous and worried as he continued “Though I can't believe I returned just when-“ he couldn't finish that sentence in fear of hurting Harry, but he didn't have to go on. Harry was nodding and then he smiled “I think we can blame Hermione for the perfect timing.” he laughed softly.

He had his suspicions why Sirius was back right now. He knew Hermione and her will to help Harry stay happy. She had been working overtime for the whole summer and now he knew why, this was the result of her efforts. Sometimes her smart brains made him so happy he could have kissed her.

 

Suddenly Sirius moved, sighed and leaned heavily against him. He chuckled softly. “Sorry. I'm beat. In my mind it was only yesterday we fought those Death Eaters in here. I still have a few bruises and wounds they cave me.”

He moved his cloak away from his neck and revealed a deep cut there. Harry touched it carefully and Sirius hissed between his teeth.

“You don't remember anything from the time you were inside the veil?” he asked and Sirius shook his head. “Nothing.”

 

“That is why this all feels so unreal. One moment I was fighting Bellatrix and the next I was in a room full of people and the ministry official explaining to us that we had to wait for further instructions, but that we had just been pulled out of a veil.” he added, leaning against Harry's touches as the green eyed man slid his hand along his neck softly, smiling against his shoulder. Sirius's hands wound their way to Harry's buttocks and carefully he squeezed them, making the other man gasp.

“You're still in good shape.” he mumbled into Harry's cloak and grinned. “Developed into a man. And you taste delicious.” his sound was suggesting and made Harry blush deeply.

 

But before Harry could reply, both of them jumped from the sudden knock on the door. Harry relaxed immediately after hearing Hermione's voice from the other side. “Harry, are you there? I need to talk to you so if- um- you could… hurry up.” she sounded so embarrassed that Sirius started laughing and Harry's face heated up. He didn't have time to move before Sirius had stepped to the door and pushed it open, leaning to the side tiredly “And what did you think we were doing here, Miss- Missis? Granger?”

She cleared her throat “Weasley, actually. “

Sirius grinned at her “Which one?”

“Ron.”

He was grinning even wider. “I knew it” he laughed as he turned to look at Harry who was now standing next to him. He rested his hand against the small of Sirius's back, but since both of them were wearing cloaks, Hermione couldn't see that and glared from one of them to the other, demanding some sort of explanation without words as to why they were inside a closet.

“So, what did you think we were doing in here?” Sirius asked again and Hermione went a bit pink, refusing to look into his eyes which made Sirius only grin wider. Harry didn't dare to look her in the eye. She cleared her throat.

“They are telling the other's what has happened, everyone separately. There are a few wizards and witches who have been trapped inside the veil for more than a hundred years so it is a bit of a shock to them.”

“I can imagine” Sirius murmured, leaning against Harry, who pulled him closer by his waist again. This time Hermione noticed the small movement and her eyes flicked from one man to the other.

 

“But-“ she then said firmly, eyeing Sirius “-you should rest. You were in a battle when you fell… there. Harry should take you home.”

Harry stared at her for a moment, then nodded with a small, shy smile “Yeah, right.” Sirius looked from one of them to the other “Where do you live?”

Harry smiled nervously at him “Well, you left the place to me, and even when your mother is still a pain in the ass when she starts to yell, we really like it there.”

“Grimmauld place? You've been living there all this time?” Sirius looked stunned.

“Yes” Harry laughed.

“Well… damn! Let's go home then.”

 

TBC