Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Sakura ❯ Year Five: Chapter Ten ( Chapter 10 )

Disclaimer: My name is not J.K. Rowling nor am I part of the wonderfully talented Mangaka quartet known as CLAMP.

Title: Sakura

Pairing: RWxDM

Warnings: Yup…it's still Slash, Very angsty Ron, mean Harry, and a ridiculous mention of Merlin's pants (damn you Taby! I hope you're happy)

Spoilers: OOTP

POV: Ronald Weasley; passive

 

Chapter 10

 

Ron slowly made his way up the stairs and stopped at the top next to the statue of Lachlan the Lanky. He looked down the hall where the portrait of the Fat Lady was and took a deep breath. He had to do this, the quicker the better. He just needed to get Harry and Hermione alone to talk and then it would be easy. Harry had half the day to calm down after all.

He ran those thoughts through his head over and over but they seemed unable to ease the butterflies in his stomach. He wiped away the water that dripped into his eyes from his wet hair and started to make his way forward, his robes leaving a trail of water droplets behind him. It had proven quite difficult to wade through the snow on his return trip, the snow having made its way up to his waist during the time he sat inside Hagrid's.

“I'd brace myself if I were you,” the Fat Lady said as he approached her. He nodded and sputtered the password. She swung forward and he entered the porthole.

The common room was noisy as ever as he emerged. Everyone was joking and laughing about the days events and exchanging plans for the next few days before Christmas break. He hung back, looking for Harry and Hermione. He spotted them in the back near the dormitories and started to make his way through the crowd of Gryffindors.

As soon as he was noticed though conversations died down and in record time the common room was completely silent, all eyes focused on him. He tried to act like this was normal and continued to walk towards his friends.

“Oy Ron,” Fred seemed to appear out of nowhere as he placed an arm around his shoulder. From his other side George came into view.

“Harry's been telling us that he caught you sucking face with that slimy git Malfoy.” George said.

“We tried to tell `im it's just in bad taste but he's damn persistent.”

Ron didn't say anything, couldn't say anything. All of the common room was staring at him, as he struggled to get something out but he just felt his throat tighten up. His eyes found Harry's who looked back at him with the same revulsion from earlier. Ron could already feel his eyes begin to burn as he tried to blink the sensation away.

“Merlin's pants,” he heard Fred say. “It is true then.”

He broke away from his brothers as hushed voices picked up again. He walked over to Harry, everyone moving out of the way for him, not wanting to be touched by something so dirty.

“Could I talk to the two of you alone?” His voice sounded strained as he tried to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat.

“I don't think we really have anything to talk about.”

“Harry,” Hermione's voice was low as she didn't want to draw anymore attention to them. Harry looked like he was going to say something more but the look on her face kept him quiet. He threw down his quill and stood up.

“Ladies first,” he said looking at Ron.

Ron bit his tongue toward the comment. Wordlessly he fell in behind Hermione as they walked up the stairs to the boy's dormitories.

“Well here you are,” Harry said closing the door behind him. “We're alone.”

Ron hesitated. He didn't know how he should start. Hagrid had made it so easy.

“I can explain,” he started.

“And I already told you…”

“I know what you said,” Ron cut him off. Why was he going to make this so difficult? “If you would just listen to me for a second…”

“You were snogging Malfoy Ron,” Harry shouted. “MALFOY.”

Ron clenched his fists, fighting to keep them at his sides. Punching Harry wasn't going to help out his situation any.

“It's not like I wanted to.”

“You certainly weren't putting up to much of a fight.”

“Harry that's enough,” Hermione said, sounding tired. “Let Ron talk for heavens sake.”

“Why? There's nothing he can say to weasel his way out of this one.” Ron flinched but stayed where he was. “They defiantly weren't fighting this time.”

“Harry!”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Hermione and Harry exchanging glares, as Ron tried to collect himself. He cleared his throat and tried to begin:

“A month ago…”

“A month?” Harry snapped. Hermione turned her face away. “This has been going on for a month?”

“Why don't you let me finish before you start jumping down my throat,” Ron yelled at him. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy telling them but he never thought that Harry would make it this hard.

“You're right,” Harry said, sparking a flame of hope in Ron's chest for a second. “Draco's done a good enough job of it I'm sure.”

“HARRY!” Ron was starting to wish she would say something other than his stupid name.

“Well what do you want me to say then?” He felt his throat tightening even more now and the burning in his eyes getting worse.

“I don't really want you to say anything,” Harry replied. Ron was having trouble breathing now. He looked at Hermione but she just looked away, finding Dean's football poster suddenly interesting.

“`Mione,” Ron didn't mean for it to sound like he was begging, even though that was what it basically was.

“I'm sorry Ron,” she said. “But I just don't know what to say.”

“You don't HAVE to say anything,” he said. “I just want you to listen.” He could feel the hot tears start to collect at the edge of his vision. “Please.”

“But,” she blinked and a tear slid down her cheek, causing Ron's stomach to lurch. “But you were kissing Malfoy.” More tears slid out of her eyes to join with the first one already on her chin.

“If you would just listen to me,” Ron couldn't help it as he felt the first, of what he knew would be many, tears slip free and slid down his cheek. “I can explain.” Why did it sound like he was only repeating himself? Hermione shook her head.

“No Ron,” she said, shaking loose some more tears. “It isn't just because you were kissing another boy. That we,” she paused and quickly glanced at Harry. “I could possibly deal with. But you were kissing Malfoy.”

“Looked more like he was trying to eat his face to me.”

“Harry,” she sobbed and dug her face into her hands.

“But I can explain,” Ron repeated weakly. “It's not what you think…” But Hermione was already shaking her head.

“Sorry Ron.” With that she turned, making sure to grab Harry's shoulders and force him around too, and they walked out the door closing it behind them.

Ron stood there alone, staring after them. Tears began to flow freely down his cheeks as he took large heaving breaths, trying to hold back the sobs that he felt fighting their way out. He turned and took the few steps to the side of his bed. He pulled back the curtains and all of a sudden felt his knees give out on him. He was on the floor, clutching the bed trying to lift himself back up, the tears blinding him. Pain seared in his chest and slowly spread through his body, his whole body quickly feeling like it was on fire. He briefly though that this is what the Cruciatus Curse must feel like.

He cried then, long agonizing sobs that filled the room and echoed off the walls. Then he started screaming. He sat on the floor with his back against his bed, curling himself as tight as he could, pulling at his hair and screamed. He screamed even after his throat became raw and it hurt. He didn't even care if anybody heard him. He kept screaming, and crying, letting out all of his pain and aggravation.

Letting out all of his shame.

He didn't know how long it was before he stopped. His robes were still wet and the others hadn't come up for bed yet so it couldn't have been that long. He dragged himself up into his bed and pulled the curtains shut. He didn't care that he was still fully dressed or that his clothes were still soaked through from the snow. He wrapped himself in his blanket and pretended to go to sleep, knowing that the real thing would probably neglect him for the rest of the night.