Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Santa Claus Caper ❯ Chapter 1

The Santa Claus Caper
by Utena-chan
















"I don't do Santa's hats! It just doesn't fit in with my image," Draco Malfoy ranted over Professor McGonagall's punishment to Professor Snape. He halted his pacing long enough to gesture to the horrid costume draped over one of the black leather couches. He was thankful none of his Housemates were here to see this. He could only imagine the horror etched upon their faces. Wait that would come when he entered the Great Hall! "And there's no bloody way I'm going about jingling a bell and yelling Happy Christmas either!"

"You have no choice," came the calm reply from Professor Snape's lips. It was interesting enough that his godson was having a fit over the idea of playing Santa Claus to a bunch of children. Though the idea of a Slytherin dressed in any sort of red made the potion's master shudder in disgust. He could not imagine Draco anywhere near as jolly and cheerful as the Headmaster himself but this was a punishment carried down from the man himself. Nothing Professor Snape did was going to save his most favorite student. "If you had not hexed Mr. Weasley as you did, you would not be in this situation."

Draco sunk down into the nearest leather couch and snorted. He should have known better than to start the argument that morning before the first class begun. Perhaps he would not have been in the situation he was now but there was no use mulling over it any further. He had no choice in the matter and his father could do nothing to save him from it. Lucius Malfoy was still being held Azakban Prison ever since that episode in fifth year. 

Lifting his silver-blue hues at the offending Santa Claus outfit, Draco gave a sigh of resignation and reached over for the uniform. Inspecting the crushed red velvet lined with faux white fur, he couldn't help but give an evil grin. He would most certainly get his revenge on those two bumbling idiots. Those two should have been forced into Elf costume and made to work beside him, but they were the Headmaster's angels and had managed to get away scot-free. 

"Hurry along, Draco," Professor Snape replied impatiently tapping his foot against the granite of the Slytherin Common Room floor. "The children from the Orphange will be here shortly and it will not do if 'Santa' is late in meeting with them."

Draco snorted again and proceeded to place the costume on. For a moment, he was thankful he would be unrecognizable in this thing. Perhaps it wouldn't be that bad after all.


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Hermione Granger smiled watching the children from the Hogsmeade Orphanage enter the warm hallways of the school. Their soft whispers and chatter drew the attentions of the other students from each of the House tables. It was rare such visits came from the Orphanage and she was glad that Professor Dumbledore took this chance, despite the onslaught threat of war, to give the children a chance to have a happy Christmas. 

"Ho Ho Ho!" came a very merry cry sending the children to squeal in open delight. "Happy Christmas!"

"Santa!" The children cried jumping up and down in excitement. 

Hermione watched the red and white-claded figure pat each child on the head as he passed by. She had only wished then she had a camera. It was the perfect moment to capture such delightful expressions of the children and perhaps even have the chance to get a picture done for each child to cherish back at the orphanage.

At this time, Ron and Harry were unsure of what to make of the sudden appearance of the Santa. Certainly he didn't seem Santa material but who were they to judge, as they knew next to nothing of the person in the suit. Not that either one of them cared at the moment to find out whom it had been. However, a quick glance between each other in a conspiratorial look before glancing at their unsuspecting victim and long-time best friend.

"'Mione, you act like you have never seen anyone dressed up in a Santa outfit," Harry replied eyeing the brunette witch with a soft smile. "Why not go sit on his lap and show the children that he doesn't bite?"

"The children will learn he doesn't," she said off-handedly waving her hand and keeping her attention focus upon the children. "Besides I am far too old to act like a kid."

"No one is ever too old," Ron answered truthfully casting a glance at the children. "Just think of the fun you can actually have and perhaps you may even find out whom is playing Santa Claus for us."

Hermione's head snapped to the redhead and cast a glare his way. "If you are so dying to know, why not go sit on his lap?"

"That's why we have you," Ginny Weasley finally spoke up and smiled at her friend. "Are you afraid, 'Mione?"

"Of course not!" the witch answered in exasperation. 

"Then I dare you to go sit on his lap," Ginny spoke up again setting her books in front of her. Though she had an essay to write, she couldn't help but add to the brand of mischief both her brother and Harry were trying to cause for Hermione. 

"Fine!" Hermione cried out and marched over to the small line of children that had yet to move forward. "Good morning."

Heads turned her way and returned the greeting with shy smiles and soft whispers. 

"Will Santa bite me?" a small boy no older than four asked as he cast a glance between her and the Santa.

"Of course not," she answered honestly. "Allow me to show you."

Draco Malfoy couldn't believe his luck as the one witch he had been dreading in seeing stomped her way over to him and take a seat on his lap. He had not at all expected to see her do such a thing nor take any sort of interest in the children but she had and now here she was on his lap. 

"What would you like for Christmas, Little Girl?" He asked huskily letting his gloved finger wrap around a single chocolate-colored lock. This action caused the body in his lap to stiffen and her head to snap in his direction. Golden honey hues narrowed in recognition of the voice and a low growl emitted from her throat. 

"You!" Hermione snarled jumping up from his lap and pointed a finger directly at his face. "How the hell did you become Santa Claus?"

Draco cockily answered in a lazy drawl, "You didn't seem to mind a moment ago."

That was all it took before Hermione reached for the nearest thing--a small red crushed velvet bag filled with small presents-- and began beating Santa Claus with it. To say the room was astounded by her actions was clearly the understatement. They had never expected the most patient of the Golden Trio to lose her cool in a matter of mere seconds; but she had and this had become a historical event for those still in the Great Hall. Teachers rushed from their post to separate Santa and Hermione Granger from each other before any other presents were ruined in the process. 

"Miss Granger, how dare you beat up another student!" Professor McGonagall's voice rang clearly behind Hermione causing the younger woman to stiffen in response. "Though I hate to say it but I am taking twenty points from Gryffindor and you will have a week detention starting now. Come with me."

Dejectedly, Hermione followed her house head but not before casting a glare once more in Draco's direction. Oh she was surely going to get even with him. There was no doubt in her mind that he would pay.


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Harry, Ron, and Ginny watched with open mouths as their friend was led away from the scene of the crime like a common criminal caught. They had never seen her act in such a hasty manner as she had now. Whomever was behind the Santa costume certainly had done something to rile Hermione up enough to the breaking point.

"I think it was the too many essays she has been doing," Ron admitted to the two sitting there with him. Shaking his head, he glanced over at Harry whom still wore an amused expression on his face. "I always told her too many trips to the library would end up causing some sort of mental damage."

Ginny giggled at her brother while Harry smirked.

"I hate to see what Professor McGonagall has in store for her," Ginny replied shuddering in thought. "I can't imagine it being anything worse."


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"But Professor you can't make me!" Hermione Granger cried out looking at the costume the Head of the Gryffindor House held up for her eyes to gaze at. It was the female version of the Santa Claus outfit. Crushed red velvet with a thigh length skirt and long sleeves, white faux trimmed itself around the cuffs of the sleeves and the bottom of the skirt. Matching boots with two-inch heels waited off to the side for her. "There is no way I am playing Mrs. Claus to Malfoy's Santa!"

"You either do as you are told or I will be forced to not only take off more points for insubordination but also add on to your detention with nights with Mr Flinch and Professor Snape." It was a threat more than a warning. Hermione knew her professor would carry it out in order to get her way.

With a sigh, Hermione reached for the outfit and dressed herself in it. If she had to play the role, then she would make sure Draco Malfoy suffered.

Taking a glance at her student, Professor McGonagall nodded her head in approval before sweeping out of the door and motioning for Hermione to follow behind. The two of them moved through the hallway and Hermione could only groan in frustration as the students paused to stare with their mouths agape at her costume. They were certainly had not expected her to see dressed so sexily but here she was.

"...did you see Hermione Granger?...."

"...Who would have thought..."

"...Whoever is playing Santa Claus is damn lucky!"

However they were not the only ones surprised to see Hermione in her Mrs. Claus outfit. Those at the Gryffindor table were clearly shocked when she entered the Great Hall and ushered over to where Santa Claus sat waiting for their return. 

Both Harry and Ron were choking on pieces of scone after seeing their best friend re-enter the Hall. They had not expected her return as she was dressed now and neither had been able to turn their heads away from the sight of her either. They had never imagined her to have so many curves underneath the robes she wore as she was showing off now. She was the stuff only made in their dreams!

Draco was in no better condition than the two at the Gryffindor table. His mouth had dropped open having seen the mudblood being led back towards him. Never in a million years had he ever thought to see her in the light he was seeing her now. She was far more curveous than the witches he had been consorting with recently. Her body was perfect. Far more perfect than even Pansy!

Snapping his mouth shut, he lifted his silver-blue hues up to glance at Hermione whom had swept in to stand at his side.

"Maybe I should have waited to have up in my lap," he murmured smirking at her.

Hermione glared at Draco and grabbed one of the candy canes from the bowl. She lowered her head and hissed softly, "How would you like me to stick this candy cane where the sun doesn't shine?"

He had to give it to Granger. She certainly knew how to keep his attentions. Oh how she really did. He watched her take a step forward away from her place at his side and look over the children apologetic.

"I must apologize for my behavior earlier," she began clasping her hands in front of her, "I didn't mean to upset any of you."

"Are you really his wife?" one of the children asked.

The color in Hermione's face drained and the smile on her face wavered slightly.

"Of course she is," Draco put in as he rose from the red velvet chair to place a hand around her waist. "You have to forgive her. She didn't recognize me like this."

"Y-yes that's right," she answered uneased by the idea of his arm around her waist as it was. If it had not been for the children, she would have already hexed him into the next century. Though the idea was tempting in itself, she still had the matter of professors who were still watching them both closely. Even her own friends had opted to remain glued to their seats enjoying the show both she and Draco were putting on. She had the notion that none of the three knew that Draco was dressed up as Santa. "Shall we get started, dear?"

"Of course, darling," Draco purred sending tremors to race down her spine.

Hermione glared at him before removing herself from his arms and settling back at her place near the chair. There she would have access to the gifts and candy canes that would be handed out.

The next hour went without incident between the two. The children merrily spoke to Draco of their wishes from their Christmas lists. Some of them he knew he had not the power to give them--families that they craved so whole-heartedly. 

"You know, Granger, I think--"

His words were cut off when one of the children dropped the present given them and it slid beneath the tree. Hermione moved from Draco's side and bent down to retrieve the lost present, giving him full view of gorgeous legs. It took every inch of willpower within him not to remove the child from his leg and shag Hermione Granger in front of everyone. He had never thought the mudblood could cause him to nearly lose control as he was fighting to now.

"Now what were you thinking?" She asked settling herself back to his side having retrieved the wayward present and returned it to it's young owner.

"Strangely enough, whatever I was thinking of just went right out the window."

Hermione cocked a brow glancing at him but she did not press for more information. She had no doubt she had no desire to know whatever it was he was thinking. Clearing her mind once more, she refocused her attention on the children smiling at each of them as she played the role of Mrs. Claus. 

Stealing a glance at Draco, she had come to realize that he wasn't as bad as he had been prior to his father's imprisonment. He had come to sixth year completely changed and far more tolerable. He had made no wise cracks towards her since she had begun helping him with the children and he had been civil to her since. It was a far cry of a change since they had been in their first year. 

'I never noticed how beautiful he really is,' she thought to herself. Catching herself in such woven thoughts, she turned her head and allowed a small blush to creep along her cheeks before vanishing from sight. 'I could easily fall in love with him.'

Realization settled in as Hermione took note of what she had just considered. It wasn't going to happen, she was sure of it but in the briefest moment of bliss, she wondered if the idea was far more possible. 

'No,' a voice whispered softly in her mind dashing all further considerations at hand.

Shaking her head to clear her mind, Hermione took note as the last child greedily snatched up a candy cane and gift before being ushered back into the line, each child seemed now content and happy with their wrapped gifts and candy canes that they were now ready to return to the orphanage without further protest. 

Draco was feeling mischievous. He had been feeling that way since Granger had given him full view of her luscious legs just awhile back. Now he was aiming for a sweet piece of revenge. Her friends were still nearby, he had taken note, and they were still warily watching them. Each of them--Potty, the Weasel, and the Weaselette--wore the same suspicious expression. They still seemed to have no idea whom was underneath the Santa costume and this was the perfect opportunity to enjoy it all.

With a swift glance once more tossed around the room, Draco pulled Hermione towards the area where mistletoe abounded. His arm wrapped around her waist possessively as his head lowered, kissing the shell of her ear.

"I'm going to kiss you now," he whispered huskily in her ear.

Hermione opened her mouth to protest but Draco sealed his mouth over his, cutting her off. It was at this time her friends rose from their places and made a move towards them. Both boys looked overly disgusted with such display of affections while Ginny herself couldn't help in sighing in envy. 

"How could you french kiss Santa!" Ron demanded causing the pair to break apart quickly, eyes narrowing at both of them. "Isn't there some law against that?"

"Of course not, Weasel," Draco sneered towards the redhead causing his eyes to widen in recognition. "Now if you will excuse us both, I believe Mrs. Claus and I have some unfinished business to attend to."

With that, he swept Hermione over his shoulder and proceeded to carry her out of the hall with her three friends watching, mouths agape and eyes wide.

At the head of the table, Albus Dumbledore couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself. Though he wished he could take credit in this unlikely match making, he couldn't. Both Minerva and Severus had all that, but the two of them had not expected the outcome either by the looks upon their faces. 

"It will be an interesting new year, don't you think?" The Headmaster probed to his two dumbfounded colleagues whom could only nod their heads mutely.
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The End