Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Regrets ❯ Chapter 1
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Iggy Lovechild 
Integra turns eighteen and re-evaluates the nature of her relationship with Alucard.
Anime/Manga: Hellsing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Supernatural | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 05.07.2008 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.2K | Visits: 1.6K | Status: Completed
Integra turns eighteen and re-evaluates the nature of her relationship with Alucard.
Anime/Manga: Hellsing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Supernatural | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 05.07.2008 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.2K | Visits: 1.6K | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me; they belong to and were created by Kohta Hirano.
a/n: Oh my, this is an old story but I've been longing to revise it for ages. Here's hoping the rust isn't too evident.
“Regrets”
~One~
Integra Hellsing had always known she was different, that she was special. Born into a family that had for been hunting vampires and studying other supernatural phenomenon for years, she had learned to keep secrets at a very young age.
Despite all this, parts of her life had been allowed some semblance of normality. Integra was enrolled into the most exclusive private schooling in all of England and allowed to socialize with her own peer group to a point. Of course her upbringing had kept her from some of the more idyllic childhood pastimes but such things had never really bothered her. Even as she approached adolescence, Integra had showed little interest in fawning over young men her age or attending boy-girl mixers. The most rebellious thing she'd ever done was nick a cigar from her father's stash.
Friends, what few she'd had, never visited the sprawling family manor. When anyone asked about her father's occupation, she told them he was a research scientist for the Queen's military. That was usually enough.
All that had come crashing down, what few ties she had held onto the normal life of a teen-aged girl, in her fourteenth year. To be more specific, all of it changed the day her father died and left her in charge of Hellsing Agency.
From a young age, he had hinted to her that when he died, she would become head of the family. Like all little girls, she had never taken much stock in his words. Fathers didn't die when their daughters still had so much growing up and learning to do; fathers didn't take secrets to their graves.
Secrets like Alucard.
Of course, Father had told her about some special weapon or protector in the secret basement cells of the Hellsing compound, but never in her wildest imagination would she have dreamed of the existence of Alucard. Integra would never forget the night that he had been resurrected, the carnage he had wreaked, and her queer feeling of terror and fascination as the vampire had knelt before her like a knight to a sovereign. As it had been, she had never seen a live vampire before that day. His power had both frightened and captivated her. If all vampires were so formidable, then that made Hellsing a pillar of strength in her mind. Fortunately or unfortunately, Integra soon learned that Alucard was a special vampire and completely unique compared to the rest of his kind.
It had taken her months before she got used to his distinct aversion to entering a room properly, not to mention the liking he took to her almost immediately. Integra was not comfortable with the way he teased her, pushed her boundaries, and riled up her tender sensibilities. There were times that she wondered if he were a guardian or a devious curse, and yet she was thankful that he could be difficult sometimes. If she could put Alucard in his place, she could handle any unruly subordinates.
Upon becoming the head of Hellsing, she had been removed from her school and the rest of her higher education had been handled by private tutoring. Soon after, she was knighted by the queen. By the time she was seventeen, she was running the organization by her own hand.
At a time when she was supposed to be having first serious boyfriends, first kisses, and dreaming of the future, Integra was fighting undead monsters and feeling pleased when she ended a day without a death threat. She took great pride in her bloodline and her work, but sometimes…Sometimes she got lonely.
The fact was, despite the power she wielded and the intensity of her convictions, she was still a teen-ager. Confusing emotions raged within her, she seethed with unvoiced desires, and longed for someone, anyone that she could talk to.
Walter was out of the question, as was anyone else on her staff and who worked with her. Most were too intimidated by her and the monster that lurked in her shadow.
As for Alucard, he had become the devil whispering in her ear. It was frustrating because he was willing to listen to her problems, but he did not share her moral sensibilities. Her confessions became a source of his amusement.
Integra's eighteenth birthday came with very little fanfare. She had wanted it that way. Now a legal adult according to most countries, she looked forward to a new stability of her emotions.
Things were not to be so simple.
Integra Hellsing had always known she was different, that she was special. Born into a family that had for been hunting vampires and studying other supernatural phenomenon for years, she had learned to keep secrets at a very young age.
Despite all this, parts of her life had been allowed some semblance of normality. Integra was enrolled into the most exclusive private schooling in all of England and allowed to socialize with her own peer group to a point. Of course her upbringing had kept her from some of the more idyllic childhood pastimes but such things had never really bothered her. Even as she approached adolescence, Integra had showed little interest in fawning over young men her age or attending boy-girl mixers. The most rebellious thing she'd ever done was nick a cigar from her father's stash.
Friends, what few she'd had, never visited the sprawling family manor. When anyone asked about her father's occupation, she told them he was a research scientist for the Queen's military. That was usually enough.
All that had come crashing down, what few ties she had held onto the normal life of a teen-aged girl, in her fourteenth year. To be more specific, all of it changed the day her father died and left her in charge of Hellsing Agency.
From a young age, he had hinted to her that when he died, she would become head of the family. Like all little girls, she had never taken much stock in his words. Fathers didn't die when their daughters still had so much growing up and learning to do; fathers didn't take secrets to their graves.
Secrets like Alucard.
Of course, Father had told her about some special weapon or protector in the secret basement cells of the Hellsing compound, but never in her wildest imagination would she have dreamed of the existence of Alucard. Integra would never forget the night that he had been resurrected, the carnage he had wreaked, and her queer feeling of terror and fascination as the vampire had knelt before her like a knight to a sovereign. As it had been, she had never seen a live vampire before that day. His power had both frightened and captivated her. If all vampires were so formidable, then that made Hellsing a pillar of strength in her mind. Fortunately or unfortunately, Integra soon learned that Alucard was a special vampire and completely unique compared to the rest of his kind.
It had taken her months before she got used to his distinct aversion to entering a room properly, not to mention the liking he took to her almost immediately. Integra was not comfortable with the way he teased her, pushed her boundaries, and riled up her tender sensibilities. There were times that she wondered if he were a guardian or a devious curse, and yet she was thankful that he could be difficult sometimes. If she could put Alucard in his place, she could handle any unruly subordinates.
Upon becoming the head of Hellsing, she had been removed from her school and the rest of her higher education had been handled by private tutoring. Soon after, she was knighted by the queen. By the time she was seventeen, she was running the organization by her own hand.
At a time when she was supposed to be having first serious boyfriends, first kisses, and dreaming of the future, Integra was fighting undead monsters and feeling pleased when she ended a day without a death threat. She took great pride in her bloodline and her work, but sometimes…Sometimes she got lonely.
The fact was, despite the power she wielded and the intensity of her convictions, she was still a teen-ager. Confusing emotions raged within her, she seethed with unvoiced desires, and longed for someone, anyone that she could talk to.
Walter was out of the question, as was anyone else on her staff and who worked with her. Most were too intimidated by her and the monster that lurked in her shadow.
As for Alucard, he had become the devil whispering in her ear. It was frustrating because he was willing to listen to her problems, but he did not share her moral sensibilities. Her confessions became a source of his amusement.
Integra's eighteenth birthday came with very little fanfare. She had wanted it that way. Now a legal adult according to most countries, she looked forward to a new stability of her emotions.
Things were not to be so simple.
~Two~
Integra was exhausted and a little bit tipsy from champagne. She was mad at herself for even considering coming back to the compound in such a state. It would have been better for her to sleep it off at the Hellsing family manor, but she was honestly sick of being around boring old men and well-wishing relatives.
How I'm going to get any work done with my head full of bubbly, I have no idea, she thought as she sat down behind the desk in what had once been her father's office. She leaned back in the huge, high-backed chair, tipped the front legs off the floor, and looked around the gloomy room with a feeling of disenchantment.
“Bugger,” she swore with childish vulgarity, “I don't feel any bloody older.”
Feeling dizzy in a sudden, nauseous wave, Integra folded her arms onto the top of the desk and laid her head down. She wondered when Alucard would start bugging her and if she could deal with it tonight. Maybe the alcohol was dragging her down but, more than any other time, she felt like a kid playing dress up. Her panty hose made her itchy and hot, so did her suit's blazer. Without thinking, she removed them and sat in front of a neat pile of paperwork in only a short skirt and blouse.
Integra scowled down at her bare, shaved legs and made the firm decision to never wear a woman's suit ever again. Maybe it'll deter Alucard as well, Integra thought idly.
In the corner of her vision, she saw movement and mentally berated herself for thinking about him so bloody often.
She felt cool hands on her shoulders, smoothing down her upper arms. His breath whispered against her ear as his hair brushed her cheek. Integra knew that if she leaned back that she'd be in his arms, so she sat very still.
“You should know,” Alucard murmured, “That very little deters me, Master.” His voice was soft, very nearly purring and she felt the inside of her mouth go dry.
“Go away,” Integra ordered him, ignoring the way her body betrayed her desires. She crossed her legs and watched with a dull sort of horror as the skirt hiked up to reveal a wide expanse of her thigh.
“No,” Alucard replied predictably and began to turn the chair around so that she faced him. The noise made by the legs of the chair dragging across the carpet sounded rough and loud to her ears.
Arms on either side of her, he leaned his face so close that their noses very nearly touched. Integra remembered that there had once been a time that his closeness had bothered her. Crimson eyes burned straight through her and he smiled that slightly mad grin that usually aggravated her to no particular end.
“So,” Alucard spoke with a nasty edge shading his tone, “How was your little celebration? Were you absolutely miserable without me?”
Integra glared into his mocking expression, “Don't start, servant.”
Alucard chuckled and moved away from the chair to face the windows. He spoke to the darkness outside just as much as he spoke to her, “Do you ever regret it?”
She frowned, “What in blazes are you going on about?”
He cast a brief backward glance, “Why adhering to your father's last request and then coming to find me, of course.”
“I didn't have a choice, Richard would have killed me and anyway, I wasn't specifically looking for you. I didn't even know what I would find in that basement and you bloody well know that.”
“Oh I don't know,” He shrugged, “I think that he might have let you live if you'd have turned Hellsing over to him right away instead of making him chase you down.”
Integra snorted. He was playing devil's advocate again, much to her irritation. “Just what is your point, Alucard? The way Richard would have run things, I'd have probably been in charge by now.” She smiled mock sweetly at his back, “And you would still be rotting down in your little cell. Hmmm…You know…now that I think about it….”
Alucard's wicked laughter chilled her to the bone, “You'd never have gotten so far without me at your side.”
Anger rushed hot into her cheeks as she stood and stalked up to him, “How dare you suggest such a thing!”
He turned and took a step toward her, invading her space and towering over her. He leered, “You'll know when I've gone too far, believe me.”
“Stop it,” she snarled.
“No.”
How I'm going to get any work done with my head full of bubbly, I have no idea, she thought as she sat down behind the desk in what had once been her father's office. She leaned back in the huge, high-backed chair, tipped the front legs off the floor, and looked around the gloomy room with a feeling of disenchantment.
“Bugger,” she swore with childish vulgarity, “I don't feel any bloody older.”
Feeling dizzy in a sudden, nauseous wave, Integra folded her arms onto the top of the desk and laid her head down. She wondered when Alucard would start bugging her and if she could deal with it tonight. Maybe the alcohol was dragging her down but, more than any other time, she felt like a kid playing dress up. Her panty hose made her itchy and hot, so did her suit's blazer. Without thinking, she removed them and sat in front of a neat pile of paperwork in only a short skirt and blouse.
Integra scowled down at her bare, shaved legs and made the firm decision to never wear a woman's suit ever again. Maybe it'll deter Alucard as well, Integra thought idly.
In the corner of her vision, she saw movement and mentally berated herself for thinking about him so bloody often.
She felt cool hands on her shoulders, smoothing down her upper arms. His breath whispered against her ear as his hair brushed her cheek. Integra knew that if she leaned back that she'd be in his arms, so she sat very still.
“You should know,” Alucard murmured, “That very little deters me, Master.” His voice was soft, very nearly purring and she felt the inside of her mouth go dry.
“Go away,” Integra ordered him, ignoring the way her body betrayed her desires. She crossed her legs and watched with a dull sort of horror as the skirt hiked up to reveal a wide expanse of her thigh.
“No,” Alucard replied predictably and began to turn the chair around so that she faced him. The noise made by the legs of the chair dragging across the carpet sounded rough and loud to her ears.
Arms on either side of her, he leaned his face so close that their noses very nearly touched. Integra remembered that there had once been a time that his closeness had bothered her. Crimson eyes burned straight through her and he smiled that slightly mad grin that usually aggravated her to no particular end.
“So,” Alucard spoke with a nasty edge shading his tone, “How was your little celebration? Were you absolutely miserable without me?”
Integra glared into his mocking expression, “Don't start, servant.”
Alucard chuckled and moved away from the chair to face the windows. He spoke to the darkness outside just as much as he spoke to her, “Do you ever regret it?”
She frowned, “What in blazes are you going on about?”
He cast a brief backward glance, “Why adhering to your father's last request and then coming to find me, of course.”
“I didn't have a choice, Richard would have killed me and anyway, I wasn't specifically looking for you. I didn't even know what I would find in that basement and you bloody well know that.”
“Oh I don't know,” He shrugged, “I think that he might have let you live if you'd have turned Hellsing over to him right away instead of making him chase you down.”
Integra snorted. He was playing devil's advocate again, much to her irritation. “Just what is your point, Alucard? The way Richard would have run things, I'd have probably been in charge by now.” She smiled mock sweetly at his back, “And you would still be rotting down in your little cell. Hmmm…You know…now that I think about it….”
Alucard's wicked laughter chilled her to the bone, “You'd never have gotten so far without me at your side.”
Anger rushed hot into her cheeks as she stood and stalked up to him, “How dare you suggest such a thing!”
He turned and took a step toward her, invading her space and towering over her. He leered, “You'll know when I've gone too far, believe me.”
“Stop it,” she snarled.
“No.”
He leaned close enough to be kissed, and Integra wondered if cutting his head off, his heart out, and then burying each part on opposite sides of the world would kill him.
“Not likely,” He teased her, “but do you honestly think that you would have been treated with the same respect without your pet vampire?”
She scowled at him, “I don't bloody well know and don't really care. Richard didn't kill me nor did I turn Hellsing over to him. I don't know where you're going with this conversation, but it's utterly absurd! Now either get to your bloody point or get the hell out of my sight because I am in no mood for your head games!” Integra yelled the last six words into his face and delighted in his slight flinching back. She wasn't about to fool herself into thinking she'd intimidated him; he'd winced because of her loud tone in the silence.
Alucard merely smiled, “Do you ever regret being shoved into such a position of power at such a pivotal point of your young life?”
Though she was disturbed by how he could see through her so easily, she really shouldn't have been surprised. Not only was he a vampire with all the gifts that went with it, but they had a rather special bond due to their…arrangement. She managed to smirk at him despite it all, “Is that all you're playing at? Are you quite serious, Alucard, because you've done much better in the past.”
“If you avoid the question, I shall only assume that I'm correct.”
“Oh come off it,” Integra laughed, “What do you expect me to say? That I miss all the pettiness of being a simple, teen-aged girl? I couldn't care less; I am a Hellsing and have a higher purpose. Why should I concern myself with stupid little boys when my attentions are needed elsewhere?”
His smile was seductive, “You know that you don't need or want little boys anyway.” Long fingers toyed with strands of her platinum hair.
Integra raised her chin defiantly, “You're quite right but I certainly hope you're not suggesting that I want or need you.”
“Don't you?”
“You must be joking,” she stepped back from him and watched as tendrils of her pale pair clung to his fingertips before slipping from his grasp. Something was going on here, something that she couldn't quite control. He was crossing invisible boundaries with his words and hungry eyes. She knew that she really ought to stop him. Yet it was really quite exciting and so she continued the dance, wondering how far he would push this little game.
He stepped forward into the space she'd put between them. Integra's pulse was loud in her ears as he spoke very evenly and frankly, “Remember what I am to you, Integra. You cannot tell me that other notions of servitude haven't occurred to you because that would be a lie.”
Feeling bold, Integra glared up at him. “Maybe I have,” she replied, “but that doesn't mean I'd ever act on them or let you act on whatever perverse thoughts pass through your filthy brain.”
Alucard sighed softly, “So you are a pillar of strength then, a master of every emotion within you? Such an accomplishment at your age would certainly be impressive.”
This gave Integra a pause, “What do you mean by `at my age'?”
“It's admirable that you have honour and nobility but at what cost?”
“I already told you, my purpose in life far outweigh petty, fleeting desire.”
“So you've resigned yourself to loneliness, you have cut yourself off from your desires, and you are content?”
“Yes,” she stepped back again and was starting to get rather nervous. Once more she felt as though she was losing her handle on this situation. Alucard stepped into her personal space once more, and this time he was so unnerving her that she stumbled backwards into the chair. He leaned over her, bracing his hands against either side of the chair's arms.
“Goddammit!” Integra growled, “Alucard, this is getting ridiculous!”
“Hmm…” His lashes lowered to brush against his high cheekbones, “I know, but…if you are such a pillar of restraint then you won't mind if I….” He closed the last few inches of space between them and kissed her.
Integra froze at the feel of his lips pressed against hers. It was a strange sensation and not just because of who and what he was. All of her inexperience in such matters came rushing to the surface of her mind. Never mind the fact that she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted him to be kissing her, Integra didn't even know what to do. So she sat stock still and let him kiss her until he finally pulled back.
Alucard knelt in front of her so that their eyes were completely on level. Without his wide-brimmed hat and glasses, it was difficult to avoid his firey gaze. Integra felt the edge of his coat brush against her legs.
She shivered and exhaled a breath she hadn't known that she was holding. For once, she had no idea what to say. To be truthful, she had liked it. His lips had been soft and cool. She supposed that, for a first kiss, it had not been bad at all.
“Do you still want me to leave?” he asked softly.
Integra swallowed hard, heard her throat click dry and loud in the heavy silence. She realized that she was terrified. “Wait…I….”
“Tell me,” Alucard murmured.
“What?”
“You want me,” It was not a question; it wasn't even assumption anymore.
Her breathing was slightly ragged around the edges and her heart was jack-hammering deep within her breast. “I can't,” she told him.
“Why?”
Integra grimaced faintly, “You know why.”
“Hmm…” Alucard leaned forward, his eyes narrowing, “but you do want me. I can practically taste your desire.”
She scowled, “What do you think it would look like to other people? I know that there are those who think I rely too much on you already. If we were to become lovers, I would appear weak, and there would be no clear boundaries between us.”
“There will always be boundaries between us.”
Integra's back stiffened, “Perhaps that is so, but things would be…different.”
Alucard chuckled, “You would be much more relaxed, for one.”
She gave him a sour look, “You don't know that.”
His eyes glittered, “Really? Care to test that theory?”
“Talking me in circles will not get you any closer to your goal, servant.”
“Okay,” His hands settled on her upper thighs and the soft, supple leather of his gloves felt good against her skin. “We're alone, you know.”
“So?” she replied stubbornly, knowing well where he was about to go with this.
“No one would ever know.”
Integra sighed softly. To hear it spoken aloud shouldn't have made a bit of difference to her, but it did. She kept so many secrets. What was once more?
“This is absurd,” she whispered, “Even if I said yes…It wouldn't mean anything.”
“Don't tell me my master is a romantic,” Alucard teased.
Was she? Integra considered this carefully and was vaguely disappointed to find that she really wasn't. Love wasn't part of her life plan as far as she could foresee. When was she going to have time for romance when she was lucky to even get a full night's rest?
“Not likely,” He teased her, “but do you honestly think that you would have been treated with the same respect without your pet vampire?”
She scowled at him, “I don't bloody well know and don't really care. Richard didn't kill me nor did I turn Hellsing over to him. I don't know where you're going with this conversation, but it's utterly absurd! Now either get to your bloody point or get the hell out of my sight because I am in no mood for your head games!” Integra yelled the last six words into his face and delighted in his slight flinching back. She wasn't about to fool herself into thinking she'd intimidated him; he'd winced because of her loud tone in the silence.
Alucard merely smiled, “Do you ever regret being shoved into such a position of power at such a pivotal point of your young life?”
Though she was disturbed by how he could see through her so easily, she really shouldn't have been surprised. Not only was he a vampire with all the gifts that went with it, but they had a rather special bond due to their…arrangement. She managed to smirk at him despite it all, “Is that all you're playing at? Are you quite serious, Alucard, because you've done much better in the past.”
“If you avoid the question, I shall only assume that I'm correct.”
“Oh come off it,” Integra laughed, “What do you expect me to say? That I miss all the pettiness of being a simple, teen-aged girl? I couldn't care less; I am a Hellsing and have a higher purpose. Why should I concern myself with stupid little boys when my attentions are needed elsewhere?”
His smile was seductive, “You know that you don't need or want little boys anyway.” Long fingers toyed with strands of her platinum hair.
Integra raised her chin defiantly, “You're quite right but I certainly hope you're not suggesting that I want or need you.”
“Don't you?”
“You must be joking,” she stepped back from him and watched as tendrils of her pale pair clung to his fingertips before slipping from his grasp. Something was going on here, something that she couldn't quite control. He was crossing invisible boundaries with his words and hungry eyes. She knew that she really ought to stop him. Yet it was really quite exciting and so she continued the dance, wondering how far he would push this little game.
He stepped forward into the space she'd put between them. Integra's pulse was loud in her ears as he spoke very evenly and frankly, “Remember what I am to you, Integra. You cannot tell me that other notions of servitude haven't occurred to you because that would be a lie.”
Feeling bold, Integra glared up at him. “Maybe I have,” she replied, “but that doesn't mean I'd ever act on them or let you act on whatever perverse thoughts pass through your filthy brain.”
Alucard sighed softly, “So you are a pillar of strength then, a master of every emotion within you? Such an accomplishment at your age would certainly be impressive.”
This gave Integra a pause, “What do you mean by `at my age'?”
“It's admirable that you have honour and nobility but at what cost?”
“I already told you, my purpose in life far outweigh petty, fleeting desire.”
“So you've resigned yourself to loneliness, you have cut yourself off from your desires, and you are content?”
“Yes,” she stepped back again and was starting to get rather nervous. Once more she felt as though she was losing her handle on this situation. Alucard stepped into her personal space once more, and this time he was so unnerving her that she stumbled backwards into the chair. He leaned over her, bracing his hands against either side of the chair's arms.
“Goddammit!” Integra growled, “Alucard, this is getting ridiculous!”
“Hmm…” His lashes lowered to brush against his high cheekbones, “I know, but…if you are such a pillar of restraint then you won't mind if I….” He closed the last few inches of space between them and kissed her.
Integra froze at the feel of his lips pressed against hers. It was a strange sensation and not just because of who and what he was. All of her inexperience in such matters came rushing to the surface of her mind. Never mind the fact that she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted him to be kissing her, Integra didn't even know what to do. So she sat stock still and let him kiss her until he finally pulled back.
Alucard knelt in front of her so that their eyes were completely on level. Without his wide-brimmed hat and glasses, it was difficult to avoid his firey gaze. Integra felt the edge of his coat brush against her legs.
She shivered and exhaled a breath she hadn't known that she was holding. For once, she had no idea what to say. To be truthful, she had liked it. His lips had been soft and cool. She supposed that, for a first kiss, it had not been bad at all.
“Do you still want me to leave?” he asked softly.
Integra swallowed hard, heard her throat click dry and loud in the heavy silence. She realized that she was terrified. “Wait…I….”
“Tell me,” Alucard murmured.
“What?”
“You want me,” It was not a question; it wasn't even assumption anymore.
Her breathing was slightly ragged around the edges and her heart was jack-hammering deep within her breast. “I can't,” she told him.
“Why?”
Integra grimaced faintly, “You know why.”
“Hmm…” Alucard leaned forward, his eyes narrowing, “but you do want me. I can practically taste your desire.”
She scowled, “What do you think it would look like to other people? I know that there are those who think I rely too much on you already. If we were to become lovers, I would appear weak, and there would be no clear boundaries between us.”
“There will always be boundaries between us.”
Integra's back stiffened, “Perhaps that is so, but things would be…different.”
Alucard chuckled, “You would be much more relaxed, for one.”
She gave him a sour look, “You don't know that.”
His eyes glittered, “Really? Care to test that theory?”
“Talking me in circles will not get you any closer to your goal, servant.”
“Okay,” His hands settled on her upper thighs and the soft, supple leather of his gloves felt good against her skin. “We're alone, you know.”
“So?” she replied stubbornly, knowing well where he was about to go with this.
“No one would ever know.”
Integra sighed softly. To hear it spoken aloud shouldn't have made a bit of difference to her, but it did. She kept so many secrets. What was once more?
“This is absurd,” she whispered, “Even if I said yes…It wouldn't mean anything.”
“Don't tell me my master is a romantic,” Alucard teased.
Was she? Integra considered this carefully and was vaguely disappointed to find that she really wasn't. Love wasn't part of her life plan as far as she could foresee. When was she going to have time for romance when she was lucky to even get a full night's rest?
“So it wouldn't be out of love,” Alucard said softly into her thoughts, “That doesn't suggest that it wouldn't mean anything. What about desire? What about pleasure? You're not made of stone, master.”
His tone was seductive when he addressed her and she wondered…. Tentatively she touched him. Her hands were bare and she could feel how smooth his skin was. Integra let her fingers stroke through his hair, and she listened to his contented sigh.
“Kiss me,” Integra felt the steel behind her voice. Not a request, this was a command.
He grinned but did not tease or gloat. For once, Alucard did exactly what he was told without toying with her. This time Integra kissed back and pulled him close with her arms around his neck.
His hands parted her knees so that he could press his body more fully against hers. Integra shifted her position a bit so that she could lock her ankles behind his thighs. He growled as their limbs tangled messily. She felt his thumb stroking her jaw line and the tip of his tongue lightly stroking her lips. Though she was inexperienced, she had a pretty good idea of what he wanted. Integra parted her lips for him, both inviting and daring him to take things further than chaste kisses.
Alucard's tongue dipped lightly into her mouth, deftly teasing her. The lingering sweetness of copper on his tongue served as a reminder to what he was, but she did not find it disgusting. She didn't want him because he was in the shape of a man. Integra wanted him because he was her monster, her vampire, her Alucard.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist and for a moment she experienced a strange sensation akin to falling. Their lips parted briefly, long enough for her to realize they were on the floor. He was on his back and she was straddling his waist rather obscenely. Integra was quite sure that Alucard now had a very nice view of her knickers due to the damnably short skirt that she was wearing.
Desire made her bold and Integra began to unbutton her blouse. Alucard's gaze was fevered beneath the dark fringe of his eyelashes. His fingers twitched against her flesh. When her shirt was undone, she snatched up one of his hands and placed it over a breast. She leaned over him, mouth hovering over his lips.
“Touch me,” she whispered before kissing him.
He made a strange sound in the back of his throat, masculine and yet inhumanly feral. She felt his fangs scrape the side of her tongue.
Clever fingers kneaded her breast and made her feel disconnected from everything save sensation. Through lace and satin, his thumb traced slow circles around her nipple.
Integra gasped harshly as she threw her head back. Her body felt tight and hot, and she could no longer form words much less a coherent thought. Below her, he shifted slightly and sat up. He was kissing her again, mouth hard and demanding in counterpoint to his questing fingers.
Integra squirmed, impatiently wanting and yet words failed her still. It frustrated her and she growled into Alucard's mouth as she gripped the lapels of his duster. He chuckled as he pulled away. His fingers slid into her bra in order to touch her skin.
“Wait,” she murmured as his fingertips brushed her nipple. A jolt of sensation bolted from the tip of her breast down to an awful, insistent ache between her legs.
“Hm?” His fingers still rubbed against her sensitized flesh but his eyes regarded her carefully. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” Integra breathed, “No…It's just…I need….”
“I know,” Alucard smiled and she saw a single fang slip over his lower lip. “Will you let me?”
“What?”
“Let me please you, master,” He purred.
Integra paused and took a deep breath. She was approaching the point of no return and she had to ask herself: Do I really want this? As she thought about it, she studied him. She had always known he was handsome, even on that first night when he was savage and white-haired. Yet he meant so much more to her than simple animal attraction. A part of her was shamed by the truth, that maybe she did rely too much on him, and yet…. Where would she be without him? Dead, sent away by orders of her uncle, or worse yet, little more than a figurehead. The symbol of his power, of her power over such a creature, was as important to the organization as her proud bloodline. She knew all of this, so did her detractors, but in this moment none of that mattered. For once it was only about her desires and what she wanted. Did she dare be so selfish, if only this one time?
No one would ever know.
“Not here,” Integra whispered. If she was choosing to cross this last boundary with him, she would be damned if he took her like some cheap trollop on the floor of her office.
Alucard smirked, “Where then?”
She stood, pleased that her knees did not buckle. He was still stretched out on his back, and for once she allowed herself to be perversely aroused by her mastery over him. Alucard was hers, in every shape and form.
Abruptly, she tuned away from him. “Where else would I have you?” She cast a haughty glare over her shoulder, drunk on power and the lust that gleamed in his eyes. Without another word, she stalked toward the door and didn't look back even as she opened it.
Integra stepped into the hall and headed to her bedroom. She knew that he would follow her without question.
His tone was seductive when he addressed her and she wondered…. Tentatively she touched him. Her hands were bare and she could feel how smooth his skin was. Integra let her fingers stroke through his hair, and she listened to his contented sigh.
“Kiss me,” Integra felt the steel behind her voice. Not a request, this was a command.
He grinned but did not tease or gloat. For once, Alucard did exactly what he was told without toying with her. This time Integra kissed back and pulled him close with her arms around his neck.
His hands parted her knees so that he could press his body more fully against hers. Integra shifted her position a bit so that she could lock her ankles behind his thighs. He growled as their limbs tangled messily. She felt his thumb stroking her jaw line and the tip of his tongue lightly stroking her lips. Though she was inexperienced, she had a pretty good idea of what he wanted. Integra parted her lips for him, both inviting and daring him to take things further than chaste kisses.
Alucard's tongue dipped lightly into her mouth, deftly teasing her. The lingering sweetness of copper on his tongue served as a reminder to what he was, but she did not find it disgusting. She didn't want him because he was in the shape of a man. Integra wanted him because he was her monster, her vampire, her Alucard.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist and for a moment she experienced a strange sensation akin to falling. Their lips parted briefly, long enough for her to realize they were on the floor. He was on his back and she was straddling his waist rather obscenely. Integra was quite sure that Alucard now had a very nice view of her knickers due to the damnably short skirt that she was wearing.
Desire made her bold and Integra began to unbutton her blouse. Alucard's gaze was fevered beneath the dark fringe of his eyelashes. His fingers twitched against her flesh. When her shirt was undone, she snatched up one of his hands and placed it over a breast. She leaned over him, mouth hovering over his lips.
“Touch me,” she whispered before kissing him.
He made a strange sound in the back of his throat, masculine and yet inhumanly feral. She felt his fangs scrape the side of her tongue.
Clever fingers kneaded her breast and made her feel disconnected from everything save sensation. Through lace and satin, his thumb traced slow circles around her nipple.
Integra gasped harshly as she threw her head back. Her body felt tight and hot, and she could no longer form words much less a coherent thought. Below her, he shifted slightly and sat up. He was kissing her again, mouth hard and demanding in counterpoint to his questing fingers.
Integra squirmed, impatiently wanting and yet words failed her still. It frustrated her and she growled into Alucard's mouth as she gripped the lapels of his duster. He chuckled as he pulled away. His fingers slid into her bra in order to touch her skin.
“Wait,” she murmured as his fingertips brushed her nipple. A jolt of sensation bolted from the tip of her breast down to an awful, insistent ache between her legs.
“Hm?” His fingers still rubbed against her sensitized flesh but his eyes regarded her carefully. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” Integra breathed, “No…It's just…I need….”
“I know,” Alucard smiled and she saw a single fang slip over his lower lip. “Will you let me?”
“What?”
“Let me please you, master,” He purred.
Integra paused and took a deep breath. She was approaching the point of no return and she had to ask herself: Do I really want this? As she thought about it, she studied him. She had always known he was handsome, even on that first night when he was savage and white-haired. Yet he meant so much more to her than simple animal attraction. A part of her was shamed by the truth, that maybe she did rely too much on him, and yet…. Where would she be without him? Dead, sent away by orders of her uncle, or worse yet, little more than a figurehead. The symbol of his power, of her power over such a creature, was as important to the organization as her proud bloodline. She knew all of this, so did her detractors, but in this moment none of that mattered. For once it was only about her desires and what she wanted. Did she dare be so selfish, if only this one time?
No one would ever know.
“Not here,” Integra whispered. If she was choosing to cross this last boundary with him, she would be damned if he took her like some cheap trollop on the floor of her office.
Alucard smirked, “Where then?”
She stood, pleased that her knees did not buckle. He was still stretched out on his back, and for once she allowed herself to be perversely aroused by her mastery over him. Alucard was hers, in every shape and form.
Abruptly, she tuned away from him. “Where else would I have you?” She cast a haughty glare over her shoulder, drunk on power and the lust that gleamed in his eyes. Without another word, she stalked toward the door and didn't look back even as she opened it.
Integra stepped into the hall and headed to her bedroom. She knew that he would follow her without question.
~Three~
In the velvet darkness of her bedroom, the sound of the bolt going into the lock sounded quite loud and final. Alucard leaned against the inside of the door, fingers toying with the latch that he had just turned. There was no real reason to lock the door save the symbolic nature of the gesture. The most wanton sins always happened behind the tightest closed doors.
Alucard sighed softly, “Why is it you humans seek to vilify anything and everything that is pleasurable?”
“Don't start,” Integra scowled, hiding her anxiety behind bravado, “Let's do this before I change my mind.”
His lips split into a manic grin. In an instant he had crossed the room and his shadows swarmed her. Unseen fingers played with her hair and made it float eerily around her face.
“How you've changed,” Alucard's eyes glittered darkly with satisfaction and pride.
With a rustle of silk, her open blouse was discarded. “I had to grow up quickly.” Integra smiled faintly, “You would have walked all over me if I hadn't.”
Alucard's smile became something less maniacal as he removed his gloves. Long fingers, pale and smooth as the leather that usually encased them, traced her jaw line. His touch was cool but not unpleasantly so. “You're afraid,” he murmured as he wound his fingers through her hair, even as his shadows made the platinum strands dance.
“Why should I be?” Integra scoffed, “It's only sex.”
“Hmm, spoken like a true maiden,” he chuckled lightly.
Integra shoved at his coat, unwilling to be the only one in a state of undress. His mouth found hers, and with a shift of darkness, her hands met his cold flesh. Greedy fingers traced over his back and she was surprised by the soft yet unyielding consistency of his flesh. Overcome by her erotic curiosity, she pulled back from his mouth and began to touch him.
In the velvet darkness of her bedroom, the sound of the bolt going into the lock sounded quite loud and final. Alucard leaned against the inside of the door, fingers toying with the latch that he had just turned. There was no real reason to lock the door save the symbolic nature of the gesture. The most wanton sins always happened behind the tightest closed doors.
Alucard sighed softly, “Why is it you humans seek to vilify anything and everything that is pleasurable?”
“Don't start,” Integra scowled, hiding her anxiety behind bravado, “Let's do this before I change my mind.”
His lips split into a manic grin. In an instant he had crossed the room and his shadows swarmed her. Unseen fingers played with her hair and made it float eerily around her face.
“How you've changed,” Alucard's eyes glittered darkly with satisfaction and pride.
With a rustle of silk, her open blouse was discarded. “I had to grow up quickly.” Integra smiled faintly, “You would have walked all over me if I hadn't.”
Alucard's smile became something less maniacal as he removed his gloves. Long fingers, pale and smooth as the leather that usually encased them, traced her jaw line. His touch was cool but not unpleasantly so. “You're afraid,” he murmured as he wound his fingers through her hair, even as his shadows made the platinum strands dance.
“Why should I be?” Integra scoffed, “It's only sex.”
“Hmm, spoken like a true maiden,” he chuckled lightly.
Integra shoved at his coat, unwilling to be the only one in a state of undress. His mouth found hers, and with a shift of darkness, her hands met his cold flesh. Greedy fingers traced over his back and she was surprised by the soft yet unyielding consistency of his flesh. Overcome by her erotic curiosity, she pulled back from his mouth and began to touch him.
As she explored him, shadows moved along her body, undressing her and caressing her tawny skin. Integra probably should have been bothered over it, but Alucard had been flaunting his power to her since the very beginning. That he would use his vampire gifts in such an intimate setting wasn't too terribly surprising.
Only when she was nude and he was backing her toward the edge of the bed, did her modesty threaten to return. Integra tried to cross her arms over her breasts but his hands shot out to restrain her.
“Don't,” Alucard murmured so softly that she nearly missed it. He slanted his mouth over hers, demanding now that she was willing. Roles of power blurred and shifted as he pinned her to the bed, icy hands on her wrists, eyes blazing with desire.
The teasing darkness began to become overwhelming as her flesh grew hypersensitive with her physical need. She shifted uncomfortably beneath him, feeling his breath fan over her neck. Integra stiffened for a moment, preparing to fight him out of instinct.
Never expose your throat to a vampire.
He chuckled darkly, perhaps sensing her fear, and lightly kissed the side of her neck. Integra's gasp turned into a throaty moan when he dragged his long tongue from the ridge of her collarbone to the sensitive spot just behind her earlobe. He was taking things maddeningly slow and drawing out her pleasure until her senses were painfully heightened.
“Do something,” She bit out. Her words sounded terribly harsh to her ears. She didn't hadn't meant to sound so mean, but she really didn't know how to voice her desires.
His shadows receded back into the darkness, leaving her alone in her desire. Alucard settled comfortably above her and studied her languidly. Integra shivered as he smoothed his hand down the length of her throat and over one of her shoulders. When his fingers brushed across a nipple, her breath came out on a low sigh.
“Alucard,” She hated how breathy and reedy her voice was becoming. Her body was arching toward him, pleading, and she could only close her eyes as his head dipped downward. His tongue traced along the underside of her breast, then slid up to twist around her areola until she cried out.
Integra's fingers found his hair. Long black tresses seemed to move and answer her caresses. He was content to tease, drive her mad with pleasure, but never quite satisfied the aching hunger that raged through her body. He traced a long, sensuous trail with lips and tongue from her chest up to her jaw line. His cool saliva warmed against her flesh as he whispered in her ear, taunting her.
“Tell me,” He hissed, “Tell me what you want, my master.”
Integra glared into his crimson eyes and his smug, triumphant expression. “You know well enough,” she retorted defiantly, “or is this just another game to you?”
He grinned wide enough to show his fangs, “But there are so many ways that I can please you. I'm having difficulty deciding which one I like best.”
“Come now, Alucard,” Integra quirked her eyebrows at him, “I've never imagined you to be such a tease.”
“Oho? How have you imagined me? Enlighten me because I had no ideas your thoughts of me ran toward…the carnal.”
She favoured him with a mocking smile. “If you're waiting for me to beg, it'll be a bloody cold day in hell, my monster.”
Alucard chuckled, “I don't want you to beg”—a shadowy tentacle crept up the inside of her thigh—“I want you to command me.”
Integra sighed softly and felt nervous once more. She schooled her face well, blanking it as the tendril of darkness coiled up her flesh to tease the humid mouth of her sex. On the inside she was shaking.
“Touch me,” She repeated a similar action to the one in her office, only this time she moved his hand between her legs. “Here.”
Alucard's eyes narrowed into glittering slits; inwardly, he was laughing at her. She could hear it between her ears. Integra didn't dwell on it much for in the next moment his fingers were parting the slick folds at the apex of her thighs. She went still under his touch as he slipped his index finger inside of her.
“Ah,” She gasped softly when he began to stroke her. His gaze never wavered and instead seemed to be devouring her. Here now was the contact and the intensity of sensation she'd been hungering for. He curled against her side, gloriously nude though she couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten that way.
The heat of her sex warmed his fingers. In fact, his entire body was becoming nominally warmer by the minute. He added a second fingers to his teasing, slowly moving them in a smooth, gliding rhythm.
Integra was seeing stars. Her hips arched to meet the movement of his hand. Something overwhelming was building within her. Integra felt as if she might die before relief came.
She twisted closer to her vampire and felt his erection brush her thigh briefly before she sought out his mouth. Alucard's kiss was hungry, harsh, and devouring. She felt his fangs and moaned.
He withdrew his fingers as their lips parted and leaned back on his heels. Integra gazed up at him through slightly askew glasses. At that moment, Alucard's beauty was dangerous and predatory.
Only when she was nude and he was backing her toward the edge of the bed, did her modesty threaten to return. Integra tried to cross her arms over her breasts but his hands shot out to restrain her.
“Don't,” Alucard murmured so softly that she nearly missed it. He slanted his mouth over hers, demanding now that she was willing. Roles of power blurred and shifted as he pinned her to the bed, icy hands on her wrists, eyes blazing with desire.
The teasing darkness began to become overwhelming as her flesh grew hypersensitive with her physical need. She shifted uncomfortably beneath him, feeling his breath fan over her neck. Integra stiffened for a moment, preparing to fight him out of instinct.
Never expose your throat to a vampire.
He chuckled darkly, perhaps sensing her fear, and lightly kissed the side of her neck. Integra's gasp turned into a throaty moan when he dragged his long tongue from the ridge of her collarbone to the sensitive spot just behind her earlobe. He was taking things maddeningly slow and drawing out her pleasure until her senses were painfully heightened.
“Do something,” She bit out. Her words sounded terribly harsh to her ears. She didn't hadn't meant to sound so mean, but she really didn't know how to voice her desires.
His shadows receded back into the darkness, leaving her alone in her desire. Alucard settled comfortably above her and studied her languidly. Integra shivered as he smoothed his hand down the length of her throat and over one of her shoulders. When his fingers brushed across a nipple, her breath came out on a low sigh.
“Alucard,” She hated how breathy and reedy her voice was becoming. Her body was arching toward him, pleading, and she could only close her eyes as his head dipped downward. His tongue traced along the underside of her breast, then slid up to twist around her areola until she cried out.
Integra's fingers found his hair. Long black tresses seemed to move and answer her caresses. He was content to tease, drive her mad with pleasure, but never quite satisfied the aching hunger that raged through her body. He traced a long, sensuous trail with lips and tongue from her chest up to her jaw line. His cool saliva warmed against her flesh as he whispered in her ear, taunting her.
“Tell me,” He hissed, “Tell me what you want, my master.”
Integra glared into his crimson eyes and his smug, triumphant expression. “You know well enough,” she retorted defiantly, “or is this just another game to you?”
He grinned wide enough to show his fangs, “But there are so many ways that I can please you. I'm having difficulty deciding which one I like best.”
“Come now, Alucard,” Integra quirked her eyebrows at him, “I've never imagined you to be such a tease.”
“Oho? How have you imagined me? Enlighten me because I had no ideas your thoughts of me ran toward…the carnal.”
She favoured him with a mocking smile. “If you're waiting for me to beg, it'll be a bloody cold day in hell, my monster.”
Alucard chuckled, “I don't want you to beg”—a shadowy tentacle crept up the inside of her thigh—“I want you to command me.”
Integra sighed softly and felt nervous once more. She schooled her face well, blanking it as the tendril of darkness coiled up her flesh to tease the humid mouth of her sex. On the inside she was shaking.
“Touch me,” She repeated a similar action to the one in her office, only this time she moved his hand between her legs. “Here.”
Alucard's eyes narrowed into glittering slits; inwardly, he was laughing at her. She could hear it between her ears. Integra didn't dwell on it much for in the next moment his fingers were parting the slick folds at the apex of her thighs. She went still under his touch as he slipped his index finger inside of her.
“Ah,” She gasped softly when he began to stroke her. His gaze never wavered and instead seemed to be devouring her. Here now was the contact and the intensity of sensation she'd been hungering for. He curled against her side, gloriously nude though she couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten that way.
The heat of her sex warmed his fingers. In fact, his entire body was becoming nominally warmer by the minute. He added a second fingers to his teasing, slowly moving them in a smooth, gliding rhythm.
Integra was seeing stars. Her hips arched to meet the movement of his hand. Something overwhelming was building within her. Integra felt as if she might die before relief came.
She twisted closer to her vampire and felt his erection brush her thigh briefly before she sought out his mouth. Alucard's kiss was hungry, harsh, and devouring. She felt his fangs and moaned.
He withdrew his fingers as their lips parted and leaned back on his heels. Integra gazed up at him through slightly askew glasses. At that moment, Alucard's beauty was dangerous and predatory.
“Do you have any idea how delicious you look right now?” He purred and leered at her as he lifted the fingers that had been inside of her to his lips.
Integra swallowed hard. She wanted to yell at him until he took away the awful ache that pulled her emotions tight and made her body languid and heavy. Yet all she could do was watch as if hypnotized as he licked the fluid of her arousal off his fingers. It was obscene; it wasn't fair; she wanted those long digits inside of her again.
“Why did you stop?” It came out as more a question than the demand she'd intended.
Integra swallowed hard. She wanted to yell at him until he took away the awful ache that pulled her emotions tight and made her body languid and heavy. Yet all she could do was watch as if hypnotized as he licked the fluid of her arousal off his fingers. It was obscene; it wasn't fair; she wanted those long digits inside of her again.
“Why did you stop?” It came out as more a question than the demand she'd intended.
“I'm savouring the moment,” He grinned. Alucard leaned down, brushed his hair against her skin, and licked her long and slow. Integra sighed contently as his tongue traveled from her navel up to her neck.
Integra pulled him close and nuzzled his throat. His skin had been warmed from her body heat and was slightly moist from the light sheen of sweat that gleamed on her flesh. He felt almost human. Almost. It really didn't matter to her either way. She looked up into his eyes and felt no fear, nor regrets. The sudden tenderness of the moment felt strangely natural.
“Please,” She whispered.
He nodded slowly and began to kiss and caress his way back down her body. When he settled himself between her spread thighs, she gazed down at him. At first all she saw was his hair and then he flipped it back, over one broad shoulder.
Integra's eyes widened as he lowered his mouth to her sex. The first touch of his tongue arched her back sharply and obliterated her senses down to the most instinctual. He lapped at her slowly, seeming to be intent on memorizing and drowning in her essence.
She moaned helplessly. Integra was undone, lost and found, and fallen from grace even as she ascended into the heavens. Somehow the fact that she'd lost control didn't really bother her.
As long as he doesn't stop….
The tip of his tongue moved delicately through the soft folds of her sex to the stiff nub that arousal had sensitized into near pain. One flick of that long tongue and she was on the razor's edge.
“Alu…card….” Integra panted as the lines of her body pulled tight as a violin string. Her fingers fisted a handful of his hair into a firm grip.
He chuckled and it vibrated against her flesh. She twitched and he lavished attention onto her clit. It didn't take long at all before she was shattered beneath his mouth. Her first orgasm felt like some kind of holy revelation; she had never dreamed of such ecstasy. She was broken without degradation or shame.
When she was able to think and verbalize again she found herself lying in Alucard's arms. Integra felt horribly vulnerable curled against this body in the aftermath of her climax. As she drifted to sleep, clothing separated their flesh once more. She felt the heaviness of his leather duster against her still sensitized skin and was comforted.
“You'll stay with me, won't you?” Integra asked.
“If you'll recall, I don't have much of a choice,” Alucard replied wryly as he toyed with sweat-dampened strands of her hair.
She chuckled softly, “I meant tonight.”
“Oh. In that case, yes.”
Integra let her guard down, curled her fingers against the lapels of his coat. She inhaled the familiar scents of blood, wine, and expensive leather. It was strange how she trusted him so easily in this moment when she should have feared him. Her vulnerability should have made her send him away. After all, he was her loyal servant but not a mindless slave. He could take advantage, and she might even let him.
And yet…. Like it or not, she knew him better than that. She slept deeply knowing that he was close by and knew that she would never find it in her heart to fear him.
Finis.