Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ A Rainy Day Bench ❯ A rainy day bench ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]

Disclaimer: No, Hikaru No Go is not mine! No, it will never be mine! Shees, what's wrong with you people? Gah! How dare you even think that it is even with in my ability to create something like Hikaru No go! aaa! ^-^;

Edit: I'm so sorry about the “Place color here” and what not! I had forgotten that I had done that! I've fixed it now (I hope… if not, would any one mind pointing them out to me please?)

Rain pattered against the windows in the long stretch of hall. The sky was light gray with clouds, though it was expected. The recent weather report had said that it would be raining all day and maybe into the next, but Hikaru Shindo didn't care about the weather on this particular day;

With his heart slamming hard against his ribs, Hikaru began his journey down the hall to where his long-time rival Akira stood conversing with a teacher. Today was it, the day he swore he'd sooner drop dead than live through, the day he'd dreaded since he had met the green-haired high schooler. A slight dizziness worked its way into his head, and he prayed to every god that he knew to let him just turn and walk the other way. His mouth felt dry, his cheeks felt hot, and he felt scared. Today would be the day he confessed to the ever-perfect go prodigy what he'd been feeling since the fist time they met... since the first game they played together; he didn't want to say it though. He knew that the other boy would turn away in disgust, that he wouldn't feel the same. The urge to turn the other way was almost overwhelming the half blond, he knew that if he didn't say anything... then he and the other boy would be able to continue a perfectly normal friendship and rivalry. Nothing would be different, Hikaru would continue trying to reach Akira and Akira in turn would continue trying to reach the level he believed Hikaru to be; They would enter more tournaments for the mere purpose of beating one another; they would go to the go salon and watch each other play game after game with the other highly ranked players; and his hazy blue eyes would uncontrollably shed pearl drops of liquid as he tried to sleep at night.

He didn't want to live that way anymore, fearing that someone... one of the Toya boy's girl-fans... would ask him to be theirs, and he would accept. Shindo didn't want that to happen, he could hardly stand the thought of his rival being with anyone else... but then, he couldn't imagine that the perfect boy would ever consider him as a love. It was that thought that brought tears to him as he lay awake in bed in the dark of night, wishing that he was borne different... that he wasn't in love with Akira Toya, or wishing that he were a girl instead. Those perfect lavender eyes couldn't possibly view him in the same way.

His fear grew greater as he drew closer, knowing that the other boy was just about to break his heart. The more that he thought about it, the more the burnet realized that he couldn't stand to live with knowing that Akira hated him while his own feelings mirrored just the opposite. He felt that he would die if he were hated by the person he loved the most. That settled it, his sneakers turned abruptly the other way, and he started walking as quickly as he could away from the slender form of Akira.

"Oh, Shindo-san! Hey, wait for me!" a sweet voice called from behind him.

He felt himself jump slightly, startled. He had thought that the other boy was still speaking with the teacher, and hoped that his retreat hadn't been noticed. That hope was now squashed. He sped up his walking, hoping that he could pretend just to have not heard the green-haired boy's request.

"Shindo-san!"

He didn't look back. He knew that he couldn't speak with his rival now, not now... later. He was trembling too much; his emotions were too unchecked from their previous unlocking to tell the boy his feelings. He couldn't confess now, not after he realized that now would be bad, he was far too dependent on him.

"Hikaru?" the forgotten about pro-go playing ghost asked, hovering next to the retreating boy, "is something wrong? Why are you running away from him?"

'I can't tell him!' he thought, knowing already that his ghostly companion could hear what he said either way.

"But Hikaru, we were up all night figuring out what you'd say! Are you really going to let all that time go to waste?" Sai complained, glancing back down the hall.

'Yes.'

"But Hikaru..."

'I can't tell him! Not telling him would be better for both him and me!'

After a while of arguing with his ghost, he realized that he had run a good distance. Akira had probably given up on following him. He sighed as slumped against the wooden door behind him. Around him was the empty art room, though he wasn't sure why he had chosen to inter that particular classroom. The lights were off, and the only light in the room was pale sunlight filtering in through the vented blinds over the two windows. Paintings hung idly in the drying rack, waiting for the school day to begin anew and their artists to come back to finish them. Stools were stacked on the five long blacktopped tables, six of the bar stools each. The walls were carelessly decorated with hanging color wheels and concept drawings along with one or two copies of paintings by people like Da Vinci or even not so well known artists around the city who sold their art to keep themselves fed.

It was a lonely room in appearance, but that didn't really matter; Akira would never look in there for his go-playing rival. Which was all that mattered. Then again, he probably wouldn't look for him; he had no reason to look unless he desperately wanted to play a game.

"I got up early and came to school way before class started... darn... what a waste of time..." he mumbled to himself.

His feminine ghost sat beside him, watching him with almost sad eyes. He didn't like seeing Hikaru so sad, not ever. He was always so happy that sadness was a very sudden almost disturbing change. It was like seeing a kitten being run over by a speeding train; not really something that you could stop, but you wished desperately that you could. "Hikaru...” he said softly, laying a transparent hand on the boy's shoulder.

"I mean... what was I even thinking? I could still be in bed, snuggles under my warm blankets and dreaming..."

"Hikaru..."

"It was stupid to come this early... why did I even think it was a good idea...." his voice choked before he could finish his sentence, and he turned his face to the all next to him.

Ghostly arms wrapped around him as his companion cursed his intangible form. He would comfort Hikaru if he could, but he couldn't really... he didn't know what to say to him because he'd never been in any such situation... he wished that he could just wrap the boy in his strong arms and tell him that everything would be alright.

"Shindo-san?" the angelic voice bounced from the white plaster walls to the cold and white tiled floors, shooting up quickly to ping around the ached white ceiling, "Are you in here?"

The half blond gasped, how had Akira found him? This was one of the least likely places that he would be... the boy had no reason to look for him in a place like this.

"Akari-san said she saw you come in here..."

He wished that he could melt into the corner beside him, but he knew that he couldn't. Echoing footsteps in the room let him know that the other teen would not be turned away by silence. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and stood, knowing that he would be found. He was lucky enough already that Akira had come in through the other door, the farthest one from him... he couldn't expect luck to help him hide too.

"Hey Akira, what brings you here?" he asked as he walked out into the center of the room to join the boy.

Unsure lavender 0rbs turned on him quickly, "I could ask you the same... there's no one else in here."

"Well, ya know..." Hikaru paused; he needed an excuse and fast. Golden eyes flicked around the room quickly before they finally landed on a pile of plane white sheet paper, "Ah! Well, ya see, Yuki said we needed more paper to make charts with... so I came to get some for him!"

"Oh," a warm smile spread across the other's slender face, and he moved to the table across the room where the paper lay, "but couldn't you get it anywhere else?" he asked as he picked up a few sheets.

"Um... well, ya see, I could have... but I didn't know who else would have some, and I knew Miss Olleana has a lot so..." Hikaru explained quickly, hoping that his reasoning would be accepted.

"Hikaru, now would be a good time to tell him... look, there are no other people around" Sai insisted quickly, hovering around behind the boy.

"I see."

The papers were handed to Hikaru, who took them with a smile, "Arigato, Akira."

Akira nodded, "by the way, what are you doing here so early? You usually don't get here for another thirty minutes..."

"What am I doing here? Um..." he quickly turned his eyes around the room as his heart began to race again. He couldn't' just say that he had... "I came to... to tell you something." he quickly clapped a hand over his mouth, stunned. Had that really just come out of him?

"Oh?" curiosity again took over Akira's features, "what is it?"

The burnet felt his cheeks grow hot; why did he have to go and say he ha something to tell him? He couldn't just say it! "I-" he draw back, afraid. He brought a hand up to cover his mouth. He had almost said it, he only needed two more words to complete his sentence... it was as though he couldn't control his mouth anymore.

"You what?"

The half blond quickly turned away, thinking that maybe if he didn't make eye contact then his heart would slow down.

"Shindo-san?" concern laced itself through the other boy's voice, "is something wrong?"

"N-no, it's nothing! Why would anything be wrong? I mean, of course nothing's wrong!" a nervous laugh followed the spill of exclamations, and he turned his eyes back to Akira.

Question and worry mixed in those lavender orbs that watched Hikaru so intently, "you're acting... a bit odd... are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Yeah! Of course I'm sure!" Hikaru cursed himself inwardly for being the stuttering and stumbling child that he was. He was always tongue tied around his rival... nothing he said ever really came out the way he wanted it to which lead to many misunderstandings.

"Oh..." silence passed between them before Akira spoke again, "what were you saying earlier? I mean... that you said you wanted to tell me?"

Hikaru winced; it was just his luck that the love of his life had such a long-term memory, "W-wha? It wasn't anything important, forget about it."

He was relieved when the familiar sound of a softly ringing bell flooded the room announcing the several minute's planned warning to the start of the school day, "oh! Well what do you know, the bell! Time for class, see you later!" and with that said, Shindo ran from the room as fast as he could manage, leaving a confused and mildly concerned Akira in his wake.

Classes through out the day could not have gone by slower for the blond. It felt as though hours passed between each minute... he blamed the slowing of time on his ghostly companion.

All through the day, Sai hounded him about what had happened earlier that morning;"why didn't you tell him?" "Hikaru! You need to tell him!" "What's wrong with liking him?" "You've never worried about what anyone thought of what you said before!"

He tried at first to explain that he was scared, that he didn't want to be hated because that would be worse than not being loved, that it wasn't right for him to love the other boy. As Sai wore on with further complaints and protests, he began to make up excuses. He hadn't remembered what to say; he thought he was going to throw up, there were too many people around for such a romantic encounter. At last he surrendered and sat idly trying to ignore what ever the ghost had to say.

He was relieved when school was at last over; maybe once he got home he could distract Sai with a game of go or something.

He casually walked from his classroom, followed immediately by more wining as his intangible companion floated after him.

"Hikaru! You're not even listening to me, are you?!"

'Nope.'

"Yes you are! You are too listening!"

Hikaru's eyes narrowed, he wished that the man would shut up and give him a moment of peace.

He left through a back exit of the school. Nobody ever used it because it wasn't very convenient; it was on the other side of a tall plank fence that separated a small suburban neighborhood from the city. It had been built due to complaints about the city being too noisy for the people who lived there, though Hikaru wasn't sure how it blocked much noise at all.

Rain was still falling from the sky, pouring would have been a better word to describe it. Shindo sighed, he wished that he had listened to his mother before he left the house... she had insisted that he needed an umbrella, but he said he didn't have time to get one and didn't need one anyway since he believed that the storm would be cleared up by noon. Apparently he had been wrong.

"Shindo-san," a soft voice said from somewhere to his left, causing him to freeze, "are you feeling better now?"

"Y-yeah, I am..." he replied absently, not really paying attention to the other boy's question. How had he managed to come out the same way? He usually went out through the front... always headed for the go salon before he had to go home and study.

"What did you want to tell me earlier?"

"W-well..." Hikaru hesitated; he could easily lie and say it was something silly like he wanted to congratulate him on the most recent tournament he was in…. But he didn't want to lie to the Toya boy, how could he lie to such an innocent face?

"Hikaru," Sai prodded, "Now would be perfect. There's no one else around... and you've got his attention. All you have to say is that you love him. It's as simple as that."

As much as he hated to admit it, that did sound good to him; to finally get those three words off of his chest... if Akira couldn't accept him then he wasn't a very good friend and needen't be kept around. But again... that was what he was afraid of.

"Shindo-san?"

He swallowed hard, turning his gaze to the ground before turning and facing the green-haired high schooler before him, "I...." he turned his eyes away quickly and said the words as fast as he could, "Iloveyou"

Akira's expression became serious, "Shindo-san, I can't understand you when you speak so fast..."

Swallowing hard again, and bracing himself for what would come next, Hikaru raised his eyes so that they locked with the lavender of Akira's, "I said... I love... you" his voice choked, forcing him to struggle more than he had previously been to finish his sentence.

Silence surrounded them, ripping at Hikaru's racing heart. He could see the shock in the other boy's eyes; which could only mean that he wasn't pleased. An over whelming dread exploded in his chest, racing through his entire body, making him feel dumb even to the coldness of the rain that pelted him like a thousand small daggers. Torn by the silence and this feeling of defeat, he turned quickly and ran; he didn't need to stay around to see what would happen next. He already knew that now Akira would break his heart either by telling him that he was a despicable person, or by telling him that he didn't like him the same way... either answer would hurt. He didn't need to hear them... he was already hurt by the silence that preceded the inevitable.

He could have sworn he heard Akira calling to him, but it had to have been his imagination.

Rain continued to pelt his face as he ran, not willing to stop for anything; not for the complaints and pleas that flew wildly from Sai; not for the pains developing in his shins and calves from not properly warming up; not for his lack of air... not for anything. He wanted to be as far away as he could from the cause of his pain.

When finally his pace did slow, he was in a small park on the outskirts of the suburban town. The expanse of green grass and gray sidewalk paths sheltered by the green canopies of trees of different sizes was empty. Not a soul was to be seen other than a lone high school go player and his ghost companion. It made since though, no sensible person would be out in the pouring rain just to play at a muddy park... especially with out an umbrella.

Hikaru fell back on the wooden brown bench behind him feeling utterly exhausted. He hadn't run like that in a good long while, not since the time his neighbor's dog had desired to have a fifth grade snack on the run.

He stared up at the sky, tears forming in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks; he was glad for the rain because it hid the small trails of salty manifestations of emotion with out trouble.

"Hikaru?" Sai asked softly from where he had settled beside the burnet.

Hikaru gave a chuckle, "Well Sai, You wanted me to say it.... and I did."

The broken sound of the boy's voice hurt to hear, but his words hurt the ghost more, "Hikaru...."

"Hey, don't worry about it..."

"But..."

Golden eyes turned away from the Amethyst haired ghost, "just... leave me alone...."

Sai did as he was told; maybe if he went away then Hikaru would be more wiling to speak to him later. He slowly faded away, planning to return to Hikaru's home to wait.

The half blond didn't know hold long he had been sitting on the bench letting the rain soak his already thoroughly soaked clothing and hair. His eyes stared down at the sidewalk now, burning with the tears that refused to stop flowing. He didn't want to think about school in the morning... about seeing Akira... about what he would say... he wished that he could curl up under a small rock where the violet eyed boy would never have to speak to nor see him ever again. He knew that the idea was silly, but he didn't want to face his love again, he didn't want to hear the words of rejection that he knew were waiting for him... despite his knowing that they were bound to come, he felt that if the boy actually said the heartbreaking lines he couldn't go on living. As much as the idea of avoiding the young Toya hurt... he felt like it wouldn't hurt nearly as much as... his thoughts broke when he realized that the rain had stopped over him. It had been stopped for a short while now, but he hadn't really noticed. Now the sound of pelting rain all around him coaxed his thoughts back to the now dry spot that he was sitting under.

His eyes turned upwards with curiosity only to find a light lavender umbrella hanging over him. He recognized the color, and dropped his eyes immediately, closing them tightly. He knew it was impossible that any one he knew would think to look for him so far outside of the city, least of all the one person who he least wanted to see. His eyes had to be playing tricks on him.

"Shindo-san?"

At this he could help but wince, his eyes may play cruel tricks on him, but his ears... they usually didn't.

"You'll catch a cold out here..." the unseen boy waned from behind him.

"I'm fine..." the half blond mumbled.

"If you get sick, you won't be able to play in the tournament this weekend."

The warning hit Hikaru hard like a bullet from a loaded gun; of course... the only reason the beautifully slender boy would come looking for him now was because he wanted a good match at go, "don't worry... I'll make it."

"You should go home and dry off."

"I don't want to yet. You go, you'll catch a cold too even if you're not wet." his voice was choked, and he cursed himself inwardly for the hundredth time of the day. He sniffled almost involuntarily.

"Shindo-san?" Akira's tone was laced with concern, "are you... crying?"

"What does it matter..." the burnet replied harshly.

"What's wrong?"

Sad eyes opened at last, and a smile of equal status spread shallowly across Hikaru's face, "I can't imagine..." he mumbled.

"Hikaru...?"

That was new; Akira never called him anything other than Shindo-san...

After a few moment's hesitation, the green-haired boy tried the less formal title again, "Hikaru, please... why are you crying?"

At this, something felt as though it had snapped in Shindo, what ever was keeping his emotions in check, "Because I told you!" he yelled, closing his eyes again and unconsciously grabbing a fistful of his over sized pants in each hand, "I told you how I feel about you and now I wish to god I could take it back! But I can't! And I know I can't! And I know it's wrong for me to love you 'cause you're a guy and I'm a guy, and I've tried convincing myself of that a lot! But it never works!" his voice began to crack as his throat threatened to constrict with sobs, "And I know you don't like me the way I like you! And I know you probably hate me and think I'm the most disgusting person you've ever met! But..." he swallowed to ease his throat muscles a little, "but... I don't... want you to hate me..."

While lost in his own emotional outburst, Hikaru hadn't noticed as the center of his affection and torment sat down on the bench beside him, allowing the umbrella to fall on the ground to free up both of his hands. "Hikaru..." he dais softly, pulling the now sobbing boy into his arms, "I could never hate you, love." Rain dumped on the two teens, but neither really seemed to care as one cried while the other tried to comfort him in slender arms blanketed in a soaked school uniform.

When at last the blonde's sobs subsided, Akira spoke again, "I could never hate you." he repeated, "Please don't think that I ever would..."

Hikaru pushed himself away from the slender body that he had been held against previously, only enough to see the other's face clearly, "Akira..."

"Ssh," the other cooed softly as he leaned forward and captured Hikaru's soft and cold lips with his own.

When he drew back, he smiled at the soft pink hue that had worked its way into the soft cheeks of the burnet. It was a beautiful sight, "Hikaru, you're shivering" he chided gently, "you should go home and dry off."

Hikaru frowned, still trying to completely process what had just happened. Did that mean... was it possible that... Akira did feel the same way?

The green haired boy got to his feet and turned with an offered hand to his rival, "I'll walk you home, if you'd like."

"Akira..." Shindo started, needing a confirmation as to what that had been bout. Either his love pitied him and understood, or he felt the same way... he reached forward and took the offered hand, which immediately pulled him to his feet.

"What is it Hikaru?"

"Well..." his eyes tried to stray from the beautiful violet eyes, but he forced them not to, "th-that kiss... does it mean... I mean... do you..."

"Do I love you?" the other finished the difficult question.

The half blond nodded, and turned his eyes away, a soft hew of pink forcing its way into his cold cheeks again.

"Of course," he whispered and leaned forward to touch their lips together for a second time.

His lips felt nice; soft and comforting, even if the rain did make them a bit cold now. Hikaru found himself wishing that the kiss would never be broken, that his love would never draw away, not even to breath. He knew, though, that it was inevitable that the magical kiss would be broken eventually. He wasn't surprised when the soft lips left his, drawing his eyes open once again, he hadn't realized that he had closed them.

"We need to get you warmed up," Akira whispered softly as he leaned down to pick up the now muddy umbrella. He closed the light lavender mini-tent and tucked it under one arm, it wouldn't do either of them any good any more anyway, "shall we go?" he asked, reaching out and taking Hikaru's hand in his.

The high schooler nodded, a smile now on his face where only minutes before there were tears.

"Good."

The two boys set off down the empty paved road, the only people out and about on such a dreary day. Not another word was said on their walk, but no words were needed now as they walked hand in hand with the promise of many more happy times together in the future.

OWARI

Sai's notes: I do hope that everyone liked that! This was a story that I dreamt up as I lay in bed on the edges of sleep last night... darn story. So I wrote it to get back at it for waking me just when I was drifting into the much-welcomed slumber. I'm sorry if the colors in here are a bit off because I don't watch the anime, I only read the manga a little...so I also don't know the colors of anything like their eyes! So um…. Please don't flame me over that telling me that Hikaru's eyes aren't gold (because they're about 5 different colors in the manga)…. and I'm very sorry if they're only in middle school... the thought occurred to me suddenly, but I sort of... didn't care to go back and search for the answer in the manga... ^-^; em… and I know Sai's hair isn't Amethyst, but I wouldn't really think of the right color to call it…. also, I'm sorry for randomly switching from one point of view to another.... any who, the usual case where I didn't proof read this yet has stuck itself firmly on this story too! So for any errors, I'm sorry and I will try to fix them and get this up with the fixes as soon as I can! Also, please Read and Review, it helps me to know what I do well and what I could do better and other such things ^-^ have a nice day and thank you for reading!