Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ Akira's Tears ❯ One-Shot

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"Wait!Touya! If you keep chasing after my illusion, You'll get surpassed by the real me someday." Hikaru cried out at his rival whose been relentlessly chasing after Sai, he had shown himself here at the cyber cafe so suddenly he had to lie through his teeth to keep from being discovered. He watched as Touya turned back and gave him a disdainful look.

"Hn. You?" Akira turned to look at the boy who had crushed his hopes of ever finding a true rival. "Would you like to play now? Instead of just 'someday'?" He asked and saw the look of uncertainty come upon the others face, then the hurt. He snorted and turned to leave.

He ran all this way to this cyber cafe hoping against hope to find Shindou playing Go on the internet. He had ran, heart in his throat, and when he saw Shindou in front of the computer his heart almost stopped. Is Shindou Sai?If he was Sai then it would make perfect sense.

Playing Sai was almost like playing the old Shindou, but stronger, a wall higher than the one Shindou posed to him when they first met in his father's Go salon. He was helpless then, and he was helpless now against the Sai in the internet.

That game... was a rout. It was like fighting his own father, he was that strong. No, even stronger, but... why does some of his moves feel like Shindou's? Touya knew this because he had obsessed over Shindou and his game. Those 2 precious games he knew by heart.

If Shindou was Sai... If Shindou...

Well then what the hell was that game he played in the inter highschool tournament? Why would he deliberately do that to me?

His hands went into fists. He felt crushed inside and out. Shindou was reading an online comic... he couldn't be Sai, that game he played in the tournament, if that was all he's got, then he's pathetic. He cannot be Sai!

He had to tell himself that because the option would hurt too much. That Shindou deliberately played a bad game when he knew he desired nothing more than to play him. He waited a year, training himself, bearing the silent abuse and constant humiliation of being in a high school Go club. Reviewing every move they made in those two games they played, over and over, devising plan after plan and strategies within strategies.

Every stone he placed he thought of Shindou, every opponent he crushed he thought of Shindou, every night he lay sleepless thinking of Shindou.

But Shindou played horribly! He wasn't the Shindou he trained against in his sleepless nights, he wasn't the Shindou that defeated him soundly with archaic methods, that was almost an insult.

And that look in his face just now, the uncertainty... if that's all he had then he's no where near becoming Touya's rival.

But... who did I loose to? Who is Shindou? Touya grimaced before he forced his anger to come to fore, he glared ahead of him.

He stopped and without looking back said aloud to the boy behind him "I will never show my face to you again." Spite, bitterness, he let it drip into his words.

"Touya!" Hikaru felt the raw edge of Akira's frustration. It tore at him because he liked Touya, he didn't want him to leave like this. He ran up to him and impulsively caught his arm and swung him around to face him. The dissapointment, the anger in Touya's eyes made him realize he had nothing to say.

It was almost the same look he gave him after that inter high school tournament

Hikaru saw Sai behind Touya, his brows were furrowed with sadness, his fan was closed covering his lips. He understood what Touya was feeling right now and it made Hikaru feel how far away he was from both of them. It set his own brand of frustration on fire.

He wanted Touya to acknowledge him, HIM, not Sai! He wanted Touya Akira to give him that same look he had when he's running after Sai and now, he shows himself here looking for Sai not him SAI!!!

And he can't tell Touya because then he will want him only because he wants to play Sai. He's angry now because he wanted Hikaru to be Sai, he's frustrated because Hikaru isn't Sai!

Sai! Sai! Always Sai!!!

He gritted his teeth at Touya's anger and when the other boy pulled his arm away Hikaru pushed him back against the wall, held the back of his head firmly and kissed him.

He felt Touya stiffen, but before he could pull back Touya grabbed his arms and crushed him tightly against himself. Hikaru gasped, his teeth parted and immediately Touya tounge was within his mouth, his kiss was harsh evidence of all the pent up frustrations he had and Shindou retaliated in kind.

They bruised each other lips, they bruised each other's arms, before Touya pushed him away. They glared at each other gasping for breath like they had just exchanged blows. Without another word Touya caught Shindou's wrist and pulled him along.

"O-oi! Chotto matte! Stop, where do you think your taking me!" Shindou asked indignant.

"Shut up!" Akira yelled at him, the pitch of his voice silenced Hikaru. Without letting the other boy's wrist go Touya dragged him to one of the small hotels he frequents in that area.

Sai? Shindou looked up at his mentor who's expression was full of sadness.

"I can feel his pain." Sai began softly "We've hurt him, and he wants an answer. Hikaru, Touya is a very passionate fighter, he shows his aggression in every move he makes, that same intensity he takes with him to the go board wasn't there when we first met him. He was without a rival, no one could get close enough to beat him amongst his age group, and his circle of peers are all older than he is." Sai looked down at his often clueless student "Do you know how lonely that is?"

Hikaru gasped, Sai nodded "He found you but... he wants me. We owe him an apology." Sai lowered his head at the oblivious back of Touya Akira and said "Gomenasai, I... I wish... gomenasai."

This is about that game again isn't it? Isn't it!? Shindou asked his mentor who had kept his head lowered to hide himself.

"Ahhh Master Touya! Welcome back." a desk clerk greeted Touya with a wide smile, and he paid her little attention. He let Shindou go and pulled out his debit card.

"I want a room for the night." he said. He saw the girl sweat drop at the anger he knew was still showing in his face.

"Ahh-haha yes sir." She placed a key on the table and handed the pen over to the angry young man. She kept her mouth shut on the questions she wanted to ask, specially the ones concerning the young boy with him now. More often, older Go players come here with Touya-kun to play Go in the private rooms upstairs.

Their hotel is located near the Go Institute and many players found their place convenient. So the owners decided to create suites dedicated to their needs. Some well known Go players would come here to challenge their rivals to private games and young Touya have been here several times.

Is it possible that Touya-kun found a rival in that boy? She gave him the keys to the usual match room he uses.

Touya signed the recipt, grabbed the key from the desk and stuffed his card back into his pocket. He took Shindou's wrist again and dragged him to the elevators.

"Oi! Oi! What the hell is this Touya!" Hikaru complained as he was forced into the elevator. He fell quiet because another man went in with them.

"This hotel have rooms where we can play Go in private. My father and the other title holders would come here and play unofficial games just for fun. Nothing of what happens inside the rooms will come out. Do you understand?" He glared down at Shindou who looked straight at him.

"I am not playing you Touya." He said calmly but coldly "I-" he looked away "I don't want to."

Touya gritted his teeth and took him by the wrist again as their floor came up, he bent close to his ear "I am not playing you either!" he gritted out.

It was those last words that made Shindou unbalaced enough that Touya was able to drag him out the elevator and into their room.

He locked the door and threw the keys into the far corner of the room dominated by a Go board and two cushions. There were other cushions around it and the parted curtains let the sunset bleed into the tatami covered floor under the kaya Go board. The dying sun colored Hikaru's face and darkened Akira's with shadows.

Touya grabbed Hikaru by the arms this time and pushed him hard against the door. Before Shindou could think of fighting back Touya was on his knees and had pulled his pants down, releasing his turgid member.

"Touya!" Shindou cried when he realized what the other boy wanted from him. "T-Touya! Stop it!!!" he shouted at the top of his voice and Touya did stop. He glared at him and Hikaru saw what Sai meant. His eyes may be angry but tears were standing ready to fall from his lower lids. "Touya..." he whispered.

He's all alone... he has no friends his age, but... he knows how to do this... Masaka!

Shindou went pale with understanding, but the red sun bathed his cheeks.

Touya watched as Hikaru's eyes went wide and his breathing stop. Do you understand now? Shindou!?

"Give me this Shindou! If you won't play with me, if you won't show me your strength, then give me this." Touya's voice shook, his battle with his tears are almost over. He looked at Shindou in his hands and realized this might be the only opporturnity he'll ever get to touch him. He didn't wait for the other boy to say yea or nay, Akira's tears fell as he took Shindou between his lips and began to rouse him.

Shindou gasped in surprise as the hot, wet, cavern enveloped him. He looked down at Akira who held his hips and his rapidly growing arousal as he sucked, licked, and stroked him. "T-Touya!" His voice came out strained, Hikaru held Touya's head and tossed his head back against the door as he moaned, helplessly trapped by Touya's skilled tounge.

Sai! He called to his mentor and saw the god of Go on his knees with his back turned towards them. He heard the sounds of weeping above the thunder of his heart. But he couldn't stop Touya, he had taken him beyong the point of self control. His body wanted what Touya was doing, craved the heat of his mouth and the soft roughness of his tounge he closed his eyes as the inevitable came.

"Touya!" his voice was a wail as he arched his back and thoughts abandoned him. Nothing existed but that tight, rough, heat, those skilled lips dragged him to his peak and the hand that gently cradled his sac pushed him over it. He fell screaming Touya Akira's name.

His knees gave way and hands lowered him gently. Shindou drew ragged breaths and without opening his eyes threw his arms around the other boy. "T-Touya." he whispered. Gentle but firm hands rested on his shoulders and pushed him away.

"T-Touya?" Hikaru asked and though tears stained Akira's cheeks his eyes still burned with predatory intensity. Hikaru reached out and wiped a corner of Touya's lips with a hand and said "Touya, that was good, how many times have you done this?"

Akira's breath left him explosively, he felt like he'd been punched in the face. He took a deep breath and his entire body shook with rage. He stood up and hauled Shindou to his feet, "Was that good for you?! Ha?! How many times?!!" he opened the door and pushed him out. "I will never show myself to you again!" And slammed the door.

Shindou stumbled out and fell, his feet tangled in his shorts. He pulled them up hastily and rose to slam his fists on the door "Touya!!!" he shouted "Touya!!!" But it was useless, other doors opened along the corridor and angry adult faces peered at him. "What did I do?" he asked as he backed away from the door " Why did you do that?" but the door wouldn't answer him.

He walked away. His tears falling unheeded.

Touya heard the questions, he pressed his forehead on the door and pressed his hands over it, wishing he could bury his tears in Shindou's arms. And he heard the slow shuffling steps of the other boy as he walked away and every step was a weight on his back, so heavy he sank to his knees. He clenched a fist over his shirt to stop the pain that clenched his heart. And in a voice that shook he said "Because I love you Shindou. I love you." and he wept.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hmmm.... guess my muses are still hung over.