Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ Facing the World Alone ❯ Finding Someone that wasn't There ( Chapter 11 )

Shin reached up and took Karasu’s hand. It was an unspoken agreement between the two, but also an agreement Shin made with himself to try and move on from his borrowed memories of Sai. It was also his agreement to walk away from love and find some other way of living, but this did not mean that he was going to stop selling his body. Prostitution is how he made a living. It was all he knew what to do.   There was a compromise thought that he had to make with himself. That was to finish school. It was a good thing that this year was his last, and the first semester was just about up. There wasn’t much left that he could do for his past self.   It was time for Shin to give up on Hikaru and Sai.   Shin looked up into blue eyes, wondering if he had the strength to let go of that last string, that last thread the connected himself to his past. But the eyes said nothing to him. They were just filled with warmth, but it was that warmth that gave him strength. They gave him to courage to start on a road to a different path.   They gave him love.   Shin prayed that he could find the courage to give that back. It was an empty prayer though, for he was born without a heart. Hikaru made it so.   But… he could try.   Shin squeezed Karasu’s hand. He could certainly try. He pulled Karasu towards him, planting a delicate kiss upon his lips.   …he could try….   -()()()-   That day at Matsumoto High School was like any other. Funny that everything should be so normal after the death of their History teacher. There was gossip now about the new replacement teacher and happy sighs of losing the substitute, Yashi-sensei.   What was odd though, was the blushes upon the general youth’s face, the passionate chattering of swooning girls, and even the blushing faces of the regular staff was seen everywhere.   It was like the entire school was love struck.   Shin sat in his English class, pondering the world around him. He was getting odd looks from the class around him, but nothing unusual. This was the worst he had ever looked though.   Thank GOD for black and the chill of winter. Shin had uses those things for reason to hid the most of his bandages. With the added trench coat, borrowed from his new… friend, he had completely covered the bandages around his arms. Seeing that all he owned were short sleeved shirts, he was grateful for the added covering.   There was also the added baggy pants. Granted, they were also borrowed, due to the fact that all he had was skintight Levies and pleather, and due to the fact that most of his clothes were full of blood and other things…   …Shin made a note to himself to catch back up with his laundry…   And due to the fact that tight pants where the last thing he needed, Shin was left borrowing Karasu’s pants as well. Though, he had fought long and hard to get not only the clothes, but the ability to go to school with his injuries.   Karasu was no pleased that he was going to leave anyway. Permission or not.   “OH my GOOOD! Did you see him?!” Miss Priss “whispered” to her friend.   “OH Yes~!” her friend moaned back happy, “Isn’t he just gorgeous?!”   Both girls squealed loudly.   Shin dropped his head onto the desk with a thunk, covering his head for added effect.   “Oh my god! I saw him last class. What a hunk!” a third person added.   Shin looked up. What was up with girls and their limited vocabulary and high pitched voice?   The three girls squealed again.   Shin covered his face again with a heartfelt groan. ‘…I hate women…’   The English teacher shushed them up, and class began.   -()()()-   The rest of the day was much the same. Each class talking about the new history professor. Every girl squealing happily, even some boys where blushing about the new teach. It was maddening, so much so, that Shin was not able to get in as much sleep as he used to during classes.   With the lack of sleep and the added noise about the new teacher was really starting to aggravate his nerves and piss him off.   By the beginning of his last class, Shin was debating skipping and going home for some much needed rest.  He was currently walking down the hall without disruption, though a few teachers sent him some disapproving looks. If they had it their way, he would have been long gone by now.   Shin smirked.   There was something to say about pissing off your teachers… It was extremely entertaining.   People moved out of his way and watched him wearily. The trench coat was a good idea. It demanded respect from those around him. It gave him a “Don’t mess with me” attitude. Though, the message was clearly planted upon his face, the coat certainly added a big message board with blinking lights to it.   He walked to his last class of the day, six period History. The door was already propped open and loud chattering was emanating from inside the class room. For once, the class seemed to be having fun… So different from the nervous lecturing from Yamada-sensei.   Giving up on thoughts of skipping class, Shin walked through the door.   -()()()-   Walking through that door was like walking into a dream. The world around him was suddenly fuzzy, and he had a distinct feeling that he had entered a turning point to his life.   ‘I can only show you the door, it is you who must decide to enter it…’ wasn’t that how the saying goes?   The world literally stopped and Shin found himself alone, on the brink of his existence. He was not afraid. He had been alone since he was “born.” Since Hikaru left, he has always been alone.   Then the world began to spin again, taking him with it.   The world dipped and swirled in a mass of colors. Vivid and birth colors that splashed against his vision. They mixed into his life and painted all the gray. Then they blurred.   Shin stumbled into the room, dizzy from such an overwhelming experience. Obvious to the silence around him, he leaned against the whiteboard for support. He felt the world tip, but then there was a genital hand holding him. Pulling him back up.   He held that hand with both of his, desperate not to fall down.   “Oi! Are you okay?!”   Shin looked up into a world full violet-blue. Like a splash of ice cold water, everything was frozen, but the fog stayed.   …Sai…   “R 30;Sai?” Darkness descended, cushioned only by soft hands.   Some God must have a grudge against him.   -()()()-   Shin woke up to a world of whiteness and instantly knew he was at a hospital but did not know how he got there. There was a study beat of the heart monitor by his side. A steady beat letting him know he was still alive.   He hated it. He hated the fact that he was still living. He hated it with passion.   Shin looked down to the IV and other such needles in his skin. It had happened again.   …Imagination was a cruel bastard stuck on torturing me…   Shin sighed and whispered, “You still haven’t left, ne Hikaru?” He looked up to the white ceiling, “You are still here…”   The heart monitor kept on beeping.   Shin looked at it, wishing for the cold silence of that dreadful machine. That loud sound of silence… He wished for death. Forget trying to live again, he prayed for Death to take him… But death did not come for Death.   The heart monitor kept on beeping… then a ghost entered the room, and for a brief second, Shin thought Death had really come for him.   “Sai?” Shin whispers hoarsely, “Have you come to take me home?”   Sai gave him a sad look, “Sorry, but the doctor wishes for you to stay here a bit longer.” Sai rubbed his head nervously, “Talk about a first day, ne?”   Shin gave him a confused look, “Am…” He paused, his throat drying out, “Am I dead, Sai?”   Purple hair fluttered as Sai threw his head back laughing, “No! No, you are not dead. Though, by all accounts, you should be.” Sai gave him a stern look, “With those types of wounds you should have been to the hospital days ago! How you can even walk, is by all means a miracle, in and of itself.”   Sai came to stand by Shin’s bed, “Shindou-san, I do not know what is happening to you, and I will not stoop so low as to assume I do know, but you are seriously injured.”   Shin looked away, “Don’t call me that.”   Sai looked confused, “Huh?”   Black looked into blue, “My name is Shin.”   “Shin, ne?” Sai chuckled, “Why?”   “Because Shindou is dead.”   Sai returned to his sad smile, “Sometimes, at first, that is how it seems…”   Shin glared at him.   Sai held out his hands, “Fine, fine, Shin-san it is.” He muttered something about young kids these days, and shook his head. “Anyway, we have tried to contact your parents, but it seems that the number given did not work. You’ll have to get that updated when you get back to class. The good part is your insurance still works, though it will expire on your next birthday. Might want to get that check later. It is never to go around without being insured…”   Shin just looked at him.   “Uuuuh…. Yeah?” Sai looked back nervously.   “Who are you?”   Sai laughed, nerves taking hold again, “Ah, my apologies. You fainted before I could introduce myself. Heh, talk about a first day. I am your new History teacher, Fujiwara Sai. It is nice to meet you, Shin, though I wish the circumstance was different.”   “Sai?” Shin looked more confused than ever.   “Hey, that’s Fujiwara-sensei to you.” Sai waved a finger in jest.   There were no odds to ends with this. Bazaar, everything was so bazaar. The world was spinning again. Shin put a hand to his head, noting that the gauze from earlier was still there. Then, the world turned to fuzz.   “But,” Shin coughed, “Sai is dead…”   Sai looked confuse, “I am not dead, Shin… and I am very much alive…”   Black met blue, but something was not there, “No…” Shin shook his head desperately, “N-NOO! You are not SAI!”   Wow… So that is it for now. I just had to stop, that Sai was starting to freak me out. I mean, he is a teacher, but what is he doing acting all goody-goody at a hospital? That was defiantly not the Sai I had envisioned. Too OOC even for me. Well, there you have it. Sai is back… a little nutty, but back. (n.n);; The chapter went a little too fast, and I felt that Sai was introduced too soon, but what the heck, it’s the 11th chapter. At least it happened the way I wanted, though I had not planned for Shin to be in the hospital by the end of their meeting; the nurses’ office, yes, but not the hospital. That is not surprising though, I marked up how much abuse Shin’s body took, putting into account the lost of feeling, and was like… “Well, if Shin did faint like that, it must have been due to blood loss, and like any concerned teacher, they would have noticed that the boy needed to go to the hospital.” So what is going to happen next? Now if only I can move Sai away from being OOC… Well, what do you think Sai would do in this situation? This is the end of “Finding Someone that wasn’t There.”
Thank you for waiting so long!