Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ Juxtaposition ❯ Running ( Chapter 4 )

Here we are with the promised fourth piece to Juxtaposition. As all the pieces before it, it is meant to be able to stand alone for the Porn Battle X, but is part of the Juxtaposition series.

 

Prompt: Fear

 

 

Running

 

Akira sits alone in the darkness and tries not to think every night that Shindou does not come. One week becomes two, two becomes four, and still, he is alone. It is starting to interfere with his games, but unlike everything else in his perfectly controlled universe, he is powerless to do anything about it.

 

A less stubborn man would have made a move by now. But he is no more stubborn than Shindou, and in his more delirious moments he thinks the phrase `two peas in a pod' would sum them up quite nicely if only it didn't make him think about other things. Forbidden things.

 

It's not a surprise that Shindou is not conforming to his standards; after all, he never has. Shindou takes the rules and rewrites them in a language only he can read, and he continues to breech Akira's boundaries without even trying. Secretly, Akira is sure this is a major part of the magnetic power Shindou holds over him.

 

It's after their first match together since the night Shindou walked out that Akira gets a knock at his door at one o'clock in the morning. He finds his heart is beating as erratically as their earlier game of Go had been, and he wastes no time pressing his lips to Shindou's before he was even inside. For three long seconds, Akira lost himself, standing in his apartment complex hallway, where everything just felt right.

 

Then Shindou's hands were pushing him away, and reason caved in on him as he stepped back into the safety of him apartment, his hand still on Shindou's shirt, dragging him inside with him.

 

Akira doesn't want to talk. He wants to pull Shindou close and ravish him as he has so many times before, but he's known Shindou for long enough to know that the look on his face was one of determination, and so he drops his hand awkwardly and looks anywhere but into Shindou's eyes.

 

He's been cool and calm through his entire life, but something about the man standing in front of him sets him on fire. His cheeks color, and he feels more exposed than any of the times he's fucked Shindou in earnest.

 

Shindou takes a step forward, and they are mere inches apart. When he speaks, it is merely a whisper, as if the words were for no one but Akira. “I love you, in every sense of the word. I've been chasing after you for what feels like a lifetime. You used to call for me to catch up to you.”

 

Shindou takes a breath, and Akira's heart stops in his throat. Love. He knew that was where this was going, but he still feels blindsided by hearing it said aloud. Said to him, for him, and no one else. Akira finds it impossible to speak, and Shindou's eyes search Akira's face for something that Akira cannot fathom in his moment of emotion. The ice in his heart is all but gone. It's something he doesn't know how to face.

 

Shindou grabs Akira's shoulders hard, forcing their eyes to meet. “Tell me it's not the same for you. Tell me I was nothing more than a good fuck for you, and I won't bother you with this ever again.”

 

Logic tells Akira that this would be for the best; that across the goban is where they should be, not in Akira's apartment taking about love and sex. But he doesn't want to say those things to Shindou. He wants to say other things, things that won't come clear to his.

 

So Akira says nothing at all.

 

He wants to kiss Shindou, he wants to suck his cock and impale the lithe boy with his need. He wants to run his fingers over Shindou's pale skin, tug at his two-toned hair, make him cry out his given name.

 

But most of all, he wants to be able to let go. He wants to just be Akira, the man. He wonders if he could be that with Hikaru. And if he could, how long it would last.

 

It's not a surprise when Shindou turns to leave, but it hurts all the same, hurts in the way he's been trying to protect himself from. Yet again, Shindou gets the last word.

 

“If you want me, chase after me.”

 

Akira stares after him for a long time. Then he carefully stretches his legs.

 

After all, it has been a while since he ran.