Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ Riding the Wave ❯ A Child's Eyes ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Note: H'llo, and welcome to my first Hikago fanfic. Please, be kind and be patient with me. I'll try to make this story worth your while.

Warnings/Disclaimer: This story contains yaoi. I won't go into the complexities of the relationships mentioned in this fic, but it does focus on the relationship between Touya Akira and Shindou Hikaru. Speaking of which...I don't own either of them, or any of the characters and settings found in this story. It's a work of fanfic made for the love of the story and not for profit. Thank you.

Please, enjoy.

"You can't make me go back in there!" Saya shouted at the top of her lungs. She didn't see who she had run into, and she didn't particularly care. It was an adult, and they had all been looking for her. Whoever it was, he was the enemy.

"Back where?" he asked kindly. Whoever he was, he had a kind voice, and when she looked up she saw that his face fit his voice. His hair was long, a dark ash color, and cut in a rather rigid style for all its length. His bangs were cut almost painfully exact, and the hair that was inching down his back was cut just as straight. His eyes though...his eyes were soft and glowed with an inner light. Despite his advanced years, she decided she liked him.

"That room. There." She pointed to the large auditorium down the hall, where people were now gathering at the doors.

"The Tournament?"

Ah, so he was one of them. Saya's stance became rigid, and she prepared to bolt yet again. "Yes, in there. I never want to play go again!" Her hands balled in fists, and tears sprung at the corners of her eyes.

There were gasps from the spectators who had followed her, and low muttering raced even past the doorway to the people inside.

"It's okay," the adult said, kneeling down to her level. "No one can make you do something you don't want to do. Go is a game that you have to love, or you will never be very good at it."

"That's not true!"

He blinked, taken aback. "Eh? Which part?"

"All of it," she wailed, tears streaming down her face. "None of it. I don't know." She was overcome by her crying. "I just don't ever want to do that again."

One of the men from the Tournament, one of the judges, came forward. "Touya-sensei," he murmured, but was cut short.

"It's okay. Let me talk to her."

"We need Saya-chan for the awards ceremony. It will be awkward without her."

Saya shook her head. "I can't do it," she whispered, backing away.

"What award is she receiving?"

"First place in Girls, First place in Grade Four, and First place all around. Since we will have to call her three times, we can't--"

"Please try to stall for a few minutes while I find out what is wrong. If Saya still refuses, I will offer my personal apologies."

"Touya-sensei! I don't...that is, I mean...of course. I'll see what I can do." The official bowed stiffly and backed away. Saya was surprised that he'd been cowed so easily, but then she looked again at the adult kneeling before her, Touya-sensei, and was shocked to see a fierce and glowing determination in his eyes that demanded obedience. It was gone in an instant though as he turned to her and smiled. "In return, Saya-chan, I would like you to tell me what is wrong. How could you be so upset about winning?"

"Because, every time I win, someone else loses. When I beat Sato-kun he cried! Sato-kun never cries, and he kept apologizing to his parents, and I know how much it hurts to cry and I never want to hurt someone like that. I didn't mean to get him in trouble!"

He nodded, frowning slightly in concern. "I'm sure you didn't get him in trouble. He'll feel better soon, and he will learn from his mistakes. If you want to get good at something you have to learn how to accept defeat, because no one wins all the time."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," he assured.

"Even the greatest go player ever?"

Touya was nodding, but another adult answered flippantly, "At least twice that I know of."

Saya jumped as she heard the voice from behind her. She turned to look quickly, nervously, wondering what kind of person this would be. The newcomer was dressed casually in a t-shirt and faded jeans with bright yellow sneakers. His hair seemed to be naturally black, but his long bangs were bleached a striking shade of blond. His eyes were wide and friendly, and he smiled easily, looking friendlier than the soft-spoken and kind Touya.

"Shindou, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, actually. Didn't mean to interrupt though. By all means, go on."

Saya took that as her opening. "So, you mean to say, it's okay to lose? Even if it hurts?"

Shindou looked over at Touya as if asking permission for something, and Touya nodded. "Some of the biggest lessons we have to learn are the ones that hurt. We don't always like it, but we can't grow without that." Shindou's voice conveyed how he was speaking from experience, and not just lecturing like some adults did.

Saya nodded. "So, it's okay to want to play still?"

"Of course," the two adults chorused. They looked startled to have said the same thing at the same time, but they shared a laugh over it and Saya felt a lot better.

"Good. Because, even though I said I never wanted to play again, I still love to very much. I wouldn't want to have to stop now." She turned happily and started to head back to the large auditorium where some of the other awards were already being presented.

"That's one brave girl," Shindou murmured as if she couldn't hear...but she could. "Poor thing. How bad did she lose?"

Saya turned, surprised. Touya also looked shocked, but then started laughing. Shindou waited expectantly, looking lost. Finally Saya grinned and shook her head. "Shindou-san, I have never lost!" With that she skipped away, ready to accept her awards.

After everything died down and most people had left, Saya stayed behind and asked if she could use a goban until it was time for everything to be packed away. The lady she spoke to was happy to allow it, especially when Saya said that she would help to put things away when she was done. She just wanted time alone with the board.

She began by replaying the last game, the one that had put her best friend in tears. Sato had bragged and bragged at school, and Saya had been one of his biggest fans and greatest supporters. At one point during the game she'd thought about throwing it, about just letting him win, but something within her wouldn't allow it. That's not something you do to a respected opponent. It's not playing fair. She could never...could never....

Saya knew it as soon as he'd been beaten. It wasn't a matter of counting or anything, but it was an instinct that told her that the stones weren't flowing right. They were creating a universe together, but his stars were no longer shining as brightly. Something within coldly calculated and showed her exactly what to do, how to expand the white and destroy his weak eye formation in the left. He'd been counting on her leaving that alone until he could return and buttress that somehow, but her stones were already in position to attack. She was brutal and unforgiving.

He surrendered.

She looked at the game before her again, this time without the emotional pressure of playing someone she'd always admired. She looked at the board and didn't see him and the growing disappointment in his hazel eyes. She looked at the stones and didn't see the slump of defeat in his shoulders. She only saw the game, and she wondered what she would have done in his place.

"Maybe, if he had hit me here, then I would have had to pull back and play more defensively. Ten turns ago, he could have played into my territory and distracted me, or moved back to the left and--no. He really shouldn't have spent so much effort on that incomplete eye; instead he should have tried harder here. It would have been a sacrifice, but he would have had a more stable base."

"And if I went here?" It was a recognizable voice, but she didn't place it right away. She was too intent on the board. There was a challenge before her, and she didn't pause to think about answering it.

"No good. I could spend another turn strengthening my territory and rebuke your attack."

"Not if I played here next, and took these pieces."

"It's a game of cat and mouse. That territory is expendable--wait a minute! Your last move changed that!"

She frowned, concentrating again on the board, wondering how two moves could have changed everything so much. It was true though, the stars in the sky there shone more brilliantly, and white was again at a more balanced state. She would have to rethink the entire board.

"Where are your parents? Weren't they here to cheer your victory?"

"Grandma had to see the doctor again. She won't be home for another hour or so, so I have time to kill. She's the only one I have, my parents died a year ago."

Saya didn't look up to see the pity she knew would be on the adult's face. She was sick of those expressions. Every time some stupid grown up heard about it and tried to make her feel better, it only made her feel worse all over again. They never got the hint though, so she tuned it out and kept concentrating on the game.

She was surprised to note that she was only met by silence. She placed a black stone somewhat clumsily, holding it between thumb and forefinger, but she was certain now of where it should go.

"Why did you place it there?"

"That's what feels right."

"Who taught you how to play?"

"No one. I taught myself."

The adult across from her sucked in air, and she looked up to see his green eyes grow wide with surprise. "H-how?"

"Books and magazines. Sato-kun tried to tell me how to place the stones properly, but he's not very patient, so he gave up before we even played a game together. Today was the first time we played. He didn't think I could because of a stupid thing like how I hold the pieces. Boys." Saya rolled her eyes.

She heard a laugh behind her and found herself wishing that the adults would stop surrounding her and taking her by surprise. It was intimidating enough to have everyone staring at her when she received her awards on stage, but now she was still getting attention when all she had wanted was a chance to go over the game and try to learn from it. Would these two pick it apart before she had a chance to come to her own conclusions? Would they see things before she did and think she was weak for not seeing them first?

"We know all about underestimating an opponent because they can't hold the go stones properly, don't we Touya?"

"It was a mistake I made for about five minutes, Shindou," Touya said coldly as he stood up. "I never made that mistake again."

Shindou laughed and walked around so he could see the board from the other side. "Relax," he said, clapping a friendly hand on the other adult's shoulder. "By all rights I should have lost that game."

"So, when are you going to tell me why you didn't? You've been telling me 'some day' for nine years."

"Almost ten," Shindou agreed, nodding as he examined the game. "I will tell you, some day. Not here, not now." He bent closer to the board, moving his fingers as if counting off something. "What game is this?"

Saya jumped, blushing at all the attention she was getting. Wouldn't this day ever end? It was embarrassing enough! "It's the last game I won today, I was just going over my mistakes. I'm sorry. Then Touya-sensei heard me talking to myself and started adding to it and...I'm sorry! I should have started cleaning up by now and helping to pack everything!" Indeed, as she noticed the world around her she realized that most of the tables had been cleared and dismantled for storage.

"Relax, nobody is rushing you out of here. They won't say a word to you as long as Touya is here anyway." Shindou grinned and winked, sitting down in the seat the other man had just vacated.

That just made Saya more uncomfortable, "I don't want to be a bother to anyone!"

"Oh, trust me, you're not. Saya-chan, I'd like to play a game with you, if you don't mind."

She stood, shaking her head emphatically. "I said I'd help put everything away in exchange for letting me use the board, and I have already stayed too long. I should really go home soon and see how my grandma's appointment went too, and so I'm sorry, but I really can't right now."

The adults exchanged an indecipherable look, and Touya was the one who spoke next. "It's okay, Saya-chan, but maybe some other time. Shindou and I are both interested in how well you play. Here is my card. I would appreciate it very much if you'd ask your grandmother to call me some time, and we could play at a later date." He bowed after handing over his card, then smiled at her winningly. The men both left, leaving Saya standing and holding the card with a confused expression.

She snapped out of it a few minutes later when she saw the lady who had given her permission to stay after everyone else had gone. "Excuse me, I'm sorry, I would like to help out now if you'll just tell me what to do!"

The lady smiled and shook her head. "There's not much left that a child could help with, unless you want to satisfy my curiosity."

"Anything, I just don't want to be a bother for being in everyone's way for so long."

"What did Shindou-sensei and Touya-sensei talk to you about? They don't usually hang around after events like this."

"Oh, they saw the game I was going over from the last match, and then they both wanted to play against me. Touya-sensei even handed me his card. So embarrassing! I didn't know so many people would want to see me play if I came here!"

"Did they really...both of them?" Saya nodded in reply. "Well, if you want my opinion, you really should go. An opportunity like this doesn't come every day, not with players like them. Touya-sensei is on the verge of winning his first title, and he's only 25! Don't lose that card; if you could convince him to teach you, you could probably become a pro some day!"

Saya looked down at the card in shock. It didn't seem strange to her that the man was 25 and winning a title, that was positively ancient in her mind. What struck her though was the thought that maybe he could teach her. She'd wanted real lessons since the day she started looking at the kifu in her father's magazines and everything had suddenly clicked. Saya's biggest regret was never telling her dad that she wanted to learn, that she might be able to play, because she knew nothing would have made him happier. If she became a pro, would he smile at her from heaven?

She hugged the business card to her like a lifeline. Saya would do everything she could to get her grandmother to call that man.