Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ The Extent of Denial ❯ Torazu San Moku ( Chapter 23 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: kk_twin

A/N: You guys are the best! ^_^ Thank you for the comments, and I'm sooo sorry for the uber-angst. I promise that it gets better! This will not be a depression fic. It's just necessary at this time. These chapters will probably be the worst angst in the fic. It's going to heat up a bit in the next chapter, trust me. <evil grin>

I'm giving you another chapter to make it better! Two chapters in ONE weekend, a holiday special. Overdose on Hikaru no Go fanfic-age as well as Thanksgiving food. ;P

And by the way, Happy Thanksgiving. I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday.

Please don't stone me for the flagrant abuse of Go terms in this chapter! I'm trying not to mangle them. :D

And don't kill Akira! He can't help being dense. Poor boy has only had a few weeks in which to consider a relationship with Hikaru. This is all quite new to him! I know it's frustrating, but this is Akira we're talking about. ;)

See the end of this chapter for more notes and some review replies!

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Waya couldn't help but arch a brow. He was trying not to show his disbelief, or check Hikaru's sanity, but it was hard. He was able to watch his friend quite easily, as he was sitting across the table from him.

It had all started when Touya and Hikaru had arrived at Isumi's apartment approximately 30 minutes ago. He'd noticed that the bleach-banged boy seemed frantically ecstatic and way too talkative, whereas Touya was even more subdued than usual.

Being hungry, however, his priority had been to get everyone to the restaurant. Now that they were here, he could no longer avoid noticing that Hikaru was acting stranger than usual. Just the other night, the little freak had been so depressed that he'd scared Waya into thinking that a suicide watch was in order. But now, looking at this cheerful, hyperactive Hikaru, he was beginning to think that either commitment or medication was in order.

“…is the best video game ever, I swear—“ Hikaru was rambling.

Waya took the opportunity to break in and rescue everyone. “Whoa, buddy, you've had way too much airtime. Shut up! Have you even been practicing your Go? `Cause all I've heard you talk about for the last umpteen-thousand minutes are games and clothes. What are you, a girl?”

“Waya!” Hikaru exclaimed, looking slightly wounded.

“Isn't that right, Touya?” Waya asked, fishing for assistance from the person most likely to agree with him that Hikaru talked too much.

The aqua-eyed boy lifted his head suddenly, looking as if he'd been shaken from a lucid dream. “What's that?”

“Did Hikaru's babbling put you into a coma?” Waya remarked wryly.

“I…no, I didn't mind.” Touya stared down at the table, motionless.

Hikaru had dropped his chin into his hand and was now gazing at Touya as if seeing something fascinating for the first time. There was a faint, fake smile on his face, but Waya could see the focus that it masked.

Their drinks arrived, and Touya latched onto his soda and began steadily sipping it, nursing it as if he wished it were something stronger.

Waya felt that he'd have to arch his other brow soon if things kept up this way.

“What would you rather talk about, Waya?” Hikaru taunted, making a face at him.

Hikaru had dark circles under his eyes, even though those eyes were bright and alert. Waya couldn't put his finger on it, but something was definitely still off about the bleach-banged boy.

Isumi saved him the trouble of responding, leaning forward to engage Hikaru. “So, Hikaru, when are you and Touya going to get together, hmm?” Isumi was smiling as if he meant it.

Probably did. Sap. But his sap. Waya grinned to himself.

Touya had stilled even further if that was possible, though he continued to drain his glass in a rather determined fashion.

Hikaru almost flinched, but recovered so quickly that only Waya and Isumi saw it. “Isumi, you know that Akira isn't interested. Anyway, I already have a boyfriend.”

Touya sputtered in shock, spewing soda out quite spectacularly and knocking over his drink.

“Holy shit, Touya!” Waya barked, leaping up to get out of the path of danger.

Touya was oblivious to his distress, coughing and pale. Before anyone could say anything else, the aqua-eyed boy fled towards the restroom, not even bothering to right the knocked over glass.

“Wow,” Isumi murmured, blue eyes wide.

Hikaru, stunned, was staring after Touya and completely ignoring the two of them. He half-rose as if to go after the other pro.

“No, Hikaru, it's all right - I'll go check on him,” Isumi offered, pursuing.

Waya threw up his hands and sighed explosively. “We can't do anything without Touya making a scene. Honestly, Hikaru, what do you see in that guy?”

Hikaru turned to give him a bleak look before resuming staring after Touya.

“This is going to be a great day,” he muttered.

Isumi entered the restroom to find Touya leaning over a sink, water running. The other boy was braced against the counter, staring at the running water with wide, unfocused eyes.

“Touya?” he said quietly.

Touya blinked very slowly, then began to make use of the water, never looking at Isumi. “How humiliating,” the other pro hissed, streaks of color appearing on his deathly white cheeks.

Isumi was relieved to see the color finally come back into that waxen face. “Is…there something more to this…?” he began tentatively.

“He didn't tell me,” Touya said in a conversational tone. “I didn't know. I didn't guess at all. He didn't tell me. How could I have been so ignorant? How could he have…”

Isumi waited, uncertain of how to proceed.

Suddenly, Touya whipped around to face him, eyes wide and blazing. “Did you know? Was he laughing at me? When I asked him…” Those aqua eyes glazed over again.

He had drawn back at the sudden passion, but stepped forward again as he watched Touya helplessly scrubbing at his stained shirt. “No, I didn't know. And I don't think that Hikaru would ever laugh at you, Touya. He truly cares about you. More than you wanted him to, I thought.”

Touya paused in his frantic ministrations, raising confused eyes to Isumi. “Does he? Care, that is. I…I…of course I don't want him to stop caring. He's the most important person in my life.”

“Are you saying that you care about him like that, Touya?” Isumi felt grateful that he and Waya had never gone through a dance quite as elaborate as this one was.

Touya flung the useless paper towels in the trash can, but did not turn to face Isumi again. “Like this, like that…what does it matter? I want to be around him all of the time. I want all of his time.”

“You can't have all of his time unless you're closer than you want to be, Touya. Perhaps that is why there is so much confusion between the two of you. Hikaru wants you as his partner, and you want a best friend without any other focus in life. Your goal is unrealistic. You two have actually managed to prolong this strange phase of being each other's sole focus for much longer than I thought you could.”

Touya's stance was rigid and uncommunicative, body guarding its owner's secrets perfectly.

Isumi sighed. “You brought him here to this point. He won't leave the Go world, but the time he spends with you is bound to taper off. You're losing him—“

The other boy pivoted sharply to face him, aqua eyes desperate. “Do you think that I don't know that!” Touya cried harshly.

He stopped, staring. This was the most emotion he'd ever seen from Touya. “If you know, then what are you doing? Do you want to be with him or not?”

The aqua-eyed pro closed his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger. “I'm…trying, Isumi. I've tried. But I'm so afraid. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want. And now it doesn't matter, because he has someone that does.”

“Are you going to be all right?” he asked gently.

“No,” Touya whispered, hand moving with a slight tremor.

“What can I do?”

“Please…just go out and make excuses for me. I'll go back to the table as soon as I regain my composure.”

Isumi couldn't seem to stop staring at the nearly emotionally naked Touya Akira before him. And that was over Hikaru? How had it gotten to this point without him noticing, or without Hikaru and Touya resolving it in some way or another?

Apparently Hikaru thought that getting a boyfriend would resolve the situation. But by the looks of things, it was only going to add more pain and difficulty. And he couldn't very well tell the bleach-banged boy to break up with his new boyfriend because Touya Akira seemed prepared for a relationship now. Besides, that was Touya's place.

Isumi turned and left the restroom, aching for Hikaru and Touya. There was nothing that he could do to help them. He could see both sides. He understood Touya's paralyzing fear and uncertainty, but at the same time he knew that Hikaru couldn't be expected to wait and suffer until the other boy made up his mind - if he ever made up his mind.

Waya and Hikaru were staring at him expectantly as he approached.

“The food is going to be here any minute!” Hikaru blurted out, looking annoyed. But those green eyes kept darting back in the direction of the restroom.

“He said he'll be out in a moment. You know how Touya is about this sort of thing. He's terribly embarrassed.”

Hikaru looked away. “He was probably disgusted that I shared that with everyone. Caused him to have a seizure or something.”

Isumi sighed. Why couldn't Touya tell Hikaru anything clearly? “I was a little surprised. When on earth did you get a boyfriend?”

“Thursday. I met him Wednesday night.” Hikaru favored he and Waya with a defiant look.

“That's rather…” He was at a loss.

“Sudden!” Waya finished accusingly.

“What am I supposed to do?” Hikaru replied in a tense, low voice, gesturing sharply. “I can't take much more of living in a dark bedroom.”

Isumi shook his head. “Are you happy with this boyfriend? What is his name, anyway?”

“His name is Kota. Happy…what's happy?” Hikaru laughed sharply. “I know that you two have that, and that's great, but happiness might not be possible for everyone, you know.”

Waya frowned. “You shouldn't be with this Kota guy if you're not into him, Hikaru.”

The bleach-banged boy glared at Waya. “And what the fuck else am I supposed to do, Waya? The person I'm `into' isn't into me.” Hikaru's once-bright green eyes were dark, full of anger and misery.

“You don't have to be a jerk about it,” Waya muttered.

“Hikaru, Waya's right. Perhaps we should cut this short if you're in this kind of mood.”

“What, are you two only my friends when I'm being bubbly, happy-go-lucky Hikaru?” Hikaru's hands were on his hips, now, his chin lifted in a challenging attitude.

“It isn't that, and you know it. Waya and I were fully prepared to come over the other night. But you might not want to be showing this to Touya, at the very least.” He nodded very slightly towards the restrooms.

Touya was making his way back from the restroom slowly, head down.

Hikaru glanced at the other boy, then closed his eyes briefly. “Fine.”

As soon as the aqua-eyed pro had regained his seat, the rest of them sat down and Hikaru began giving a detailed account of how much fun he'd had with his boyfriend, how they'd met, etc, etc.

Touya looked as if someone were beating him the entire time.

He and Waya pretended not to notice.

Akira maintained a pose of contented sleep on the brief ride back, trying to focus on enjoying the warm breeze that flirted through his hair. Hikaru hadn't said a word to him since they'd left the restaurant, or indeed, spoken a word that had been directly addressed to him since they'd left Akira's apartment earlier in the day. He was being personally ignored even though he was included in the group.

He was painfully aware of the silence beside him. Hikaru hadn't even turned on any music. There was only the sun and the wind. It was almost as if the other boy wasn't even with him. He had never known his rival to be this silent.

Akira heard the car slow and come to a stop, the shifting into `park' and the windows going up. At last the engine was turned off. He slightly opened the eye closest to his friend and was surprised to note that the other boy's head was turned towards him as though looking at him, even though the sunglasses masked where those green eyes might be gazing.

As if aware of his scrutiny, Hikaru immediately looked away. “Hey, wake up, Akira. We're here.”

“I'm awake,” he answered quietly.

Hikaru paused, head turning towards him again. “I wonder,” the other boy replied softly before getting out of the car.

What was that supposed to mean? He followed his rival out of the car and up the stairs. Isumi and Waya were just pulling up, so they had to wait at the door a minute. Naturally Isumi drove more slowly than Hikaru did.

Akira studied his friend for a moment, as Hikaru was staring with apparent concentration at the door as if willing it to open. He couldn't seem to find anything different or unusual about the bleach-banged boy today, aside from his usual uniqueness.

The other pro was wearing blue jeans and a white tank top that said `out of order' across the front in blocky black letters, as well as a pair of his favorite black and yellow sneakers. There was nothing about the other boy that told Akira that he had just acquired a boyfriend, or that he was withdrawing from their friendship.

`I miss you,' he thought fervently at the back of Hikaru's head, wishing that he could somehow reach the distant person that stood so close to him.

As Waya and Isumi walked up, Waya punched Hikaru in the arm, and Hikaru retaliated in kind. As they were scuffling, Isumi nonchalantly unlocked the door and pushed it open, waving Akira in. “Come on, they could be at this all day.”

“—sissy little girly boy!” Waya was teasing, having wrestled Hikaru into a headlock.

“Ahhh! Akira, help me!” Hikaru managed to catch his sunglasses just as they were falling off, and tossed them to Akira.

He almost dropped them, not expecting to have anything launched at him, but he supposed he should know better than that when it came to his rival. He tucked them into his shirt pocket and went inside, leaving Hikaru to Waya's mercy.

Isumi sat down on the couch, rolling his eyes at the howls and laughter still drifting in from outside. “Come on, you two!” he called. “You're going to annoy my neighbors!”

Hikaru came in after Waya, feigning a kick at the back of one of the other boy's legs before closing the door behind them. “I always knew you were hiding something, Waya! You gave yourself away by calling me a queer for so long. You always loved to harp on me.”

“Don't make me punish you!” Waya exclaimed with a fierce grin, acting as if he were about to leap upon Hikaru again.

Hikaru threw his hands up to protect himself. “NO, noooo! Please, Waya. Geez.”

“Hmph, then stop asking for it, punk!” Waya flopped down on the couch beside Isumi.

The bleach-banged boy smirked, then turned to face Akira, mirth fading. “Let's play a game, Akira.” Those green eyes were quite serious.

“That's fine with me,” Akira murmured. “Isumi, may we use your room and Go-ban?”

“Sure, we'll be out here.”

He inclined his head in thanks and headed into the bedroom, Hikaru practically stepping on his heels. As soon as they were both inside the room, the other boy closed the door behind them.

Akira turned to face him, backing away slightly, uncertain of his rival's intentions.

Hikaru examined him for a moment, making no move. “So what was with that reaction at the restaurant?”

Ignoring the question for a moment, he retrieved the Go-ban from under Isumi's desk and set it up between them, calming himself with the familiar ritual. “I was surprised.”

“That's an understatement. So why does it bother you? Does it disgust you so much?”

Akira looked up at that, startled, and met Hikaru's vulnerable gaze. “What? No. I just didn't expect it. I thought that we were friends, best friends, and that you would tell me those sorts of things. How long have you been with him, anyway?”

“I met Kota Wednesday night and we began dating Thursday. I don't know why it matters, but I would have told you if I'd known that it wouldn't have bothered you.” Hikaru's expression was wary.

He couldn't help but be shocked. The other boy was moving fast. “W-why?” Akira blurted out stupidly, staring up into those eyes.

The bleach-banged boy approached, kneeling before the Go-ban as Akira had done. “I told you that I would. Remember, the alibi for my affections in case Amari really does try to damage you in the Go community?”

“Is that all?” he asked, feeling disappointed in Hikaru.

The other boy frowned. “That and I'm sick of making passes at someone that only shoots me down. At least Kota wants it.” His friend ran a hand through his bleached bangs, glaring at the Go-ban in absolute annoyance.

Wants it. It. His chest felt too tight. He couldn't breathe. “What…what have you done?” Akira managed to force out through the lead in his lungs.

The other pro arched a brow at him. “That's rather personal, don't you think?”

Akira felt his hands clench into fists where they rested on his thighs. He stared down at them, unable to hold Hikaru's gaze anymore, and thought that his vision became just a little blurry. “Please,” he whispered.

He sensed Hikaru's shock, but did not look up. “Ah…we've kissed and made out. Stuff like that. He took me shopping, and we went out to eat, and we went to the arcade yesterday and played until we couldn't stand it anymore. He's really great, and he's handsome, too. He graduated from Tokyo University, you know—“

Akira felt his brain shut down. He wasn't capable of listening to any more of what made this Kota character so wonderful and fabulous. In fact, he was feeling distinctly ill. With someone like that, Hikaru would never go elsewhere. Would never walk away.

He forced himself to interrupt. “So that's why you wouldn't go anywhere with me the other day. That's why you wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't tell me what was going on.” His voice sounded flat to him. Distant.

“Well, it's rude to talk on the phone when you're on a date, you know.” Hikaru was giving him a strained smile.

“When do I get to spend time with you?” Akira asked coolly. He didn't mean to express himself that way, but it happened, especially when he was feeling insecure and wounded.

“You're so demanding! Boyfriends get more time than best friends. Now that I have a boyfriend, I can't spend as much time with you anymore. We'll see each other during matches, and maybe during tutoring sessions. I already have a few people lined up that I'll be tutoring soon. I'm sure you do, too. So you'll be busy, too, Akira.”

Isumi had been correct. “When?” he repeated.

“Why don't I spend some time tomorrow with you? We'll go to the mall or something. Kota has to work anyway.”

Something about the statement disturbed him - disturbed him like a stab to the vitals. Was Hikaru only willing to spend time with him because Kota was unavailable? It didn't bear thinking about.

“Is it the kissing and making out?” he was horrified to hear himself ask, still avoiding the other boy's eyes.

“Is what the kissing and making out?” Hikaru asked, sounding annoyed.

“Is that why you want to spend more time with him?”

“Well, I have to say I'm a little insulted. No. I want a relationship. That's why I want to spend time with Kota.”

“What are relationships like?” Akira murmured, unable to see the Go-ban anymore even though he was staring directly at it.

“For god's sake, Akira, nigiri already!” Hikaru exclaimed, exasperated.

“Stop being rude to me!” he snapped, meeting the other boy's eyes in his irritation. He was mollified to see that his friend looked slightly cowed.

“I wasn't trying to be. But you're acting pretty strange today.”

“Relationships?”

Hikaru sighed. “I don't even know, Akira. I've never really had one. I imagine that a good one would be warm and comfortable. But it would depend. For instance—“ The bleach-banged boy suddenly fell silent, looking to the side thoughtfully.

“For instance…?” he prompted eagerly.

The other pro sighed, meeting his gaze again with weary, pained eyes. “For instance…with you, it would have been far from comfortable and warm.”

Akira wilted, looking down at his hands again. “Ah. I thought you said that you used to want that.”

“It would have been blazing and intense,” Hikaru murmured, contemplating the white stones in the Go-ke.

He stared openly at his rival, fascinated by the passion that he saw flicker through those eyes. It disappeared in a moment, but perhaps it meant that there was still something there...for Touya Akira.

“Doesn't it `blaze' with Kota?” Akira asked softly.

“No,” Hikaru replied just as softly, meeting his eyes and smiling bitterly.

He almost reached out. Almost. But his friend was taken, and was not sending him any messages to hint that he desired such an action on Akira's part. The tension built between them, becoming almost unbearable. It was alive and dangerous.

“Nigiri already,” Hikaru whispered, green eyes too bright as they looked at him. Wounded. It was another incarnation of the drowning look.

Akira bowed his head, sweeping up a handful of stones.

Hikaru grinned as he emerged into the living room. Akira was so close behind him that the other boy's body brushed his. He put it firmly out of his mind, focusing instead on proclaiming his victory to all who would listen.

Isumi and Waya definitely looked disheveled. Isumi had the grace to blush. “You're done. Who won?”

“I did, by 6 moku! Ahahaha!” Hikaru raised his arms. “Feel my—ack!” A pillow flung with stunning accuracy by Waya destroyed his power speech.

“So Touya lost?” Waya cried disbelievingly.

Akira ghosted out from behind Hikaru, brushing him yet again. “Yes, it happens sometimes.”

“Ha, sometimes more often than not these days!” Hikaru shot back.

“Perhaps Touya is still unfocused from what happened earlier,” Isumi offered.

“Who wouldn't be?” Waya retorted. “I almost wore soda. Wet jeans suck. I think he's got it in for me.”

“I'm very sorry, Waya, I didn't mean for any of that to happen,” Akira said politely.

“Akira, don't bother with apologizing to Waya, he just wants to be annoying.” Hikaru was tormenting Waya, but behind his facade, his only concern was that Akira was touching him way too often, and to devastating effect.

“I should be getting home,” Akira interjected.

“If you insist,” Hikaru replied. No doubt the other boy felt out of place when everyone was feeling playful. He fished his keys out and tossed them into the air just to have the satisfaction of catching them.

“You're coming back, right?” Waya pressed, looking hopeful.

“Ehh, it is getting late, so—“

“Oh, for the love of - 10 P.M. is not late!”

“Waya, I actually—“

“He has plans tomorrow,” Akira murmured.

Hikaru shrugged and nodded.

“All day?” Waya asked, looking suspicious.

“Yes, he's mine all day,” he affirmed.

Waya gave them an arch look. “Oh, is that so? Well, then, Hikaru! You should tell Kota he has competition!”

“Waya!” Hikaru exclaimed, sounding stung. “Akira is not in competition with Kota.”

He well and truly wanted to go home after hearing that. Why wasn't he competition? He dearly wanted to ask Hikaru that question. But he'd have to settle for crawling into bed and lying awake in misery. Alone. Because he wasn't any kind of competition for Hikaru's affections.

“Let's go, Akira,” Hikaru said in a low voice, reaching out as if to guide him - but not touching him.

He nodded mutely, letting himself out with Hikaru right behind him.

“This was one of those not-fun days again, wasn't it?” his rival muttered as they were walking down the stairs.

“Afraid so. Are you certain that it's not inconvenient for you to take me home? I can stay over with you if you'd rather not have to drop me off tonight.” He held his breath, hoping for some response besides the inevitable.

“No, that's fine, I'm wide awake. What time am I supposed to get you tomorrow?”

That was, unfortunately, the response he'd been expecting.

He got into the car, the other boy following suit, and Hikaru left the windows up for once. “I suppose it depends on what we're doing,” he replied levelly. Below the surface, he was ecstatic. A day alone with Hikaru. He couldn't recall the last time he'd had the chance.

“Hey, did you see the moon?” the other boy asked. “It's one of those cool, narrow crescents that looks like it's just about to disappear.”

No, I did not. I was too preoccupied with looking at you, watching the way you walk and the way you turn your head as you're talking over your shoulder to me. “It's beautiful,” he agreed.

Hikaru cleared his throat, seeming suddenly self-conscious, and shifted the car into reverse, backing out.

“I'm sorry to inconvenience you and make you leave Isumi's before you're ready,” he said into the awkward silence.

The bleach-banged boy glanced at him, surprised. “Don't be silly. I would do…I mean, I don't mind doing things for you sometimes.” Hikaru looked away sharply, focusing on navigating the parking lot with more concentration than could possibly be required.

Akira continued to watch his rival, trying to remember Hikaru as he was at this moment. Perhaps his mind would conveniently do so automatically as it had so many times before. A thought struck him then, and he blurted it out. “Are you ever going to stop bleaching your bangs?”

Hikaru gave a little laugh, and it almost sounded self-deprecating. “I suppose I really should, huh? I get comments on it all the time, and most of them aren't positive.”

“No!” he replied intensely, half-reaching out towards the other boy. “You should never change.” He couldn't stomach the thought of Hikaru changing, becoming practical and civilized just like everyone else.

He dropped his hand, coming back to his senses. It was better not to touch his friend.

The other pro spared him an amused glance. “I had no idea that you were partial to the bleached bangs, or to the thought of me always being stupid and impulsive. What has come over you, Akira? I would think you would greet any changes in me with open arms, excited that I was at last becoming an adult.”

“No,” he breathed, looking out the window at the shadowy buildings they passed. He couldn't bear to meet those eyes anymore. At least Hikaru was finally being genuine with him, now that they were away from the others. He couldn't help but think that his rival was concealing something from him. Perhaps from everyone.

Don't leave me behind, Hikaru! I waited for you - now please, wait for me. And…what would I do without you?

What good would Touya Akira be without Shindou Hikaru?

Hikaru leaned against the side of his car for a second as he waited for Akira to get out. The other pro was getting stranger and stranger, and it only magnified the persistent weirdness that had dogged all of their interactions since the strip club incident.

Akira got out slowly, as if lost in his own little world, and shut the door with barely enough force for it to latch.

He made a face and went around the car to walk with his friend. “What's up with you lately, Akira? You're in outer space. Your focus has gone to hell.”

Those aqua eyes glanced off of his before darting away. “I know.”

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked, concerned, eyes searching Akira's.

Akira smiled wryly, as if privately amused by something about what he had said. “Don't concern yourself about me.”

Hikaru rolled his eyes. “Oh, as if that's possible! I am always concerned about you. Sadly enough, almost every thought I've had since I was 12 has been concerning you in some way. You were all I thought about - you, and food.” He laughed lightly. “No wonder Akari stopped wanting to hang out! She had designs on me, and she gave up after I only ever talked about Touya Akira this, and Touya Akira that.”

Akira kept walking, but there was a brief hitch in his stride. “Oh? I had no idea.”

They were in the lobby of Akira's apartment building now, having entered with the key. He followed the other boy towards the elevator, their voices echoing strangely off of the tile and blank walls.

“Yeah, I was completely obsessed with you. I guess it's not surprising that I developed some weird attachment to you.”

“Was?” Akira murmured, putting his code into the elevator keypad.

He studied his rival's beautiful profile, then turned to enter the elevator as the doors slid open. “Well, yeah. I mean, I'm trying to re-focus my energies on someone that cares.”

“Like Kota,” Akira muttered under his breath as he crossed his arms, slanted eyes looking off to the side.

“Yeah.”

“You shouldn't become so inebriated, Hikaru,” Akira chastised him, aqua eyes narrowing. “Employ some restraint.”

“Oh, but I'm a regular little bundle of restraint,” Hikaru shot back, feeling himself sneer the slightest bit. He was shocked at the strength of his irritation.

Akira looked down at the floor, sighing, raising a hand to massage his left temple. “I didn't mean it that way,” the other boy said quietly, sounding defeated. “I only…only worry about you.”

Hikaru was so surprised that he almost missed the soft ding of the elevator reaching its destination. Akira breezed past him, arm brushing his. He followed, still in wonder that his friend had actually clarified one of those obnoxious criticisms as being something emotional.

They entered the recessed doorway of Akira's apartment and the other boy turned to look at him. It was almost akin to having their own private little alcove, and he liked the feeling, the privacy.

Completely out of touch with what he should be doing, which would be walking away at this moment, he stood there, returning Akira's gaze. Belatedly, he realized that he had completely invaded his friend's personal space. They were too close. Oops.

Akira, seemingly unruffled by any of it, reached into his shirt pocket with one hand as the other reached towards Hikaru. He responded instinctively, catching the wrist of the hand that had hooked into the neck of his tank top.

“You don't want to leave these,” Akira replied to his look, hooking one arm of the forgotten sunglasses over the front of Hikaru's tank top, fingers brushing over bare skin and a collarbone.

Hikaru gasped in a breath, shuddering, fierce desire crushing every thought in his head like some nightmare tsunami. Overwhelming emotion rushed through him, immersing him, making it difficult to even hear, and he felt a twinge of despair. It swept away everything but Akira's presence right before him, touching him. It was like drowning.

Akira was touching him.

He caught the other slender wrist and pushed his rival back against the door, leaning in aggressively to capture the other boy's parted lips.

To say that he was surprised would have been a severe understatement. He had been touching Hikaru all night without any response, and now he found himself pinned against his own door bodily by his rival, having the life kissed out of him.

Hikaru had never given him a kiss quite like this one. This was without restraint, without boundaries and without consideration. It was raw and emotional, utterly overpowering. He couldn't even consider resisting, and in fact, he welcomed the other boy into his mouth, starving for contact and intimacy from the green-eyed boy.

He molded his body more closely to Hikaru's, and his rival responded by crushing him against the door even more emphatically.

Akira gasped into his friend's mouth, opening his eyes for a moment. The other pro's eyes were closed, expression passionate and yearning. He closed his eyes again, satisfied and relieved.

You do still want me.

Hikaru's grip tightened on his wrists for a moment, but then disappeared completely. The kiss was ended with a brokenly whispered, “Sorry,” and then the warmth of the bleach-banged boy's body was removed as well. Akira opened his eyes, startled, only to see that Hikaru was gone. He ran out into the hallway, intent on preventing his rival from leaving.

Hikaru's back was receding quickly, and the other boy had almost made it to the elevators. “Hikaru!! Wait!” To his consternation, his friend moved even faster.

Akira bolted down the hallway, determined to find out just what on earth was going on. Hikaru was stepping into the elevator just as he arrived, and he grabbed the other boy's wrist, pulling his friend around to face him. They both ended up in the elevator. “Where are you…”

Hikaru's green eyes were stormy and tormented - and swimming with tears. “It was an accident, I'm sorry,” the other boy muttered, frantically trying to get past him to punch the button for the first floor.

He pressed close, scenting a capitulation. “Was it really?” he whispered, lips against Hikaru's jaw. He inhaled the scent of the other boy, wanting to be surrounded by it, to drown in it.

“Dammit, Akira!” Hikaru exploded, pushing him away forcefully. His rival shoved past him and made it through the elevator doors, running for the stairs as if pursued by demons from hell.

What had he done wrong? Hikaru still wanted him. That much was beautifully, delightfully obvious. But why had his rival been crying?

He suddenly remembered. Hikaru had a boyfriend. Akira groaned, stepping out of the elevator. How could he have forgotten that so completely? All he'd been able to think about was that Hikaru was close to him, and had even given Akira the kiss look as he'd been returning the sunglasses. The other boy had finally given him an opening.

Could Hikaru have a boyfriend and still want him? He decided that such was the case. After all, the boyfriend was just an interloper. He and Hikaru had been together for much longer.

This was a kakari situation, and Kota was the shimari that hindered his advance upon Hikaru. But he would determine the successful strategy and execute it with precision, as always.

Akira smiled slightly as he let himself into his apartment, determined that he would change Hikaru's mind tomorrow. He'd worry about any physical complications after he'd won the other boy over.

_________________________________________________________________ _______

A/N #2: Torazu San Moku: A very rare position in the corner, where either side may capture first, but would lose points to do so.

Replies to reviews:

bb - Don't leave me! >.< I won't break your heart~! The boys have hope, they do! (LOL, this fic is like a tribute to `life's not perfect', isn't it!? Don't worry - we won't get too realistic.)

MewMew2 - I totally understand that you'll be tied up for the holiday! ;) Er, were, rather! The chapters will be here waiting for you when you get back, and thank you for wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving! I also appreciate your thanks for the regular updates. :D Believe me, it gets a little difficult to have a chapter every week, sometimes. <sigh> Work, friends - they just don't understand! Why do they look at me like that?! Ahhh, I wonder.

jou-kaiba-mokie - Thank you! Oh, you'll be seeing the substitute, all right! I'm sure that will make a few people scream with outrage, but again, it's necessary for further developments. :D Would I give Hikaru someone ugly? ;P No, no, I want this fellow to be a threat to Akira, not a joke! <grin>

ALL: I'm glad that all of you enjoyed Isumi and Waya so much. Now it's time for Hikaru and Akira to take center stage. It's hot under those lights! ;D (And no, I'm not going to drop Isumi and Waya out of the story - don't worry.)