Hunter X Hunter Fan Fiction ❯ Idelian ❯ Call of hatred, Fear of desire ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter 3: Call of hatred, Fear of desire.

Written by Killua
Translated: Kal Kally

Author: Many authors, as this fic originally started as a Round Robin. Later, it was revised by me. I also wrote the last chapters of it.

Pairing: Kuroro/Kurapika, Hisoka/Illumi, Killua/Gon (Though this pairing depends on how you view it.)

Warning: The rating has been changed into M for violence and some contents in the future.

A/N: Finally I finished this fic in my language, and now able to concentrate in this version of the fic. I will try to update more frequently, once every one or two weeks. Please review if you like it.

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The morning had come, but it was still dark outside. The flame flickering in the fireplace was the only light source in the room. The dim light wasn't strong enough to lighten up the thick darkness. Kurapika had waked up, but didn't seem to be aware of the surrounding yet. Lying in Leorio's laps, Kurapika just stared up at him with the eyes that were carrying a faint color of blood. It wasn't anger that lay within those depths, it was fear.

Kurapika was slightly trembling in his arms. What had he seen in his dream? What could make the blond so shaken up like this? Leorio smiled, gently brushing away a curl of hair from those beautiful eyes. How Leorio wanted to protect this person, to chase away the pain in his soul and melt the ice surrounding his heart.

“Don't worry. I'll protect you.”

What a wrong thing to say. Leorio regretted it even before he finished his sentence. In a second, Kurapika was fully awake. He pulled himself out of Leorio's hold and created a remarkable space between them.

“I know how to take care of myself. You don't have to worry about me.”

The same cold voice, the same indifferent tone… Kurapika had returned to his usual self. A moment of weakness, a moment of releasing his soul from the burden of his painful quest easily passed. Now before Leorio was again a cold person of reason and responsibility.

Each of Kurapika's word cut into Leorio's heart more efficiently than any weapon. But Leorio knew there was nothing he could do except staring at the thick wall that once again built up between them…

-----

The fire was still flickering. Kurapika huddled in a corner where the light couldn't reach. It would be better if darkness just swallowed him up and let him melt into it.

Kurapika knew he had hurt Leorio with his cold attitude, but that was the only thing he could offer the man. He wasn't so blind that he couldn't see Leorio's feelings for him; the man was just too obvious. He couldn't stand the way Leorio was treating him. So caring… He didn't know how to deal with that person, so instead of confusing himself with unnecessary emotions, he chose the easiest solution: Running away.

Tumultuous thoughts kept swirling in his head. Kurapika cast a glance at the direction of the fireplace.

Eyes met eyes. Kuroro hastily turned back to the book he had been reading. Kurapika sighed, wondering what the feeling that was burning in his chest was. Love, or Hate?

Kuroro, each time that name was mentioned to him, the past revived before his eyes vividly. The dark shade of crimson... the spiders... He hated. His father, his mother, his people... He hated him. The flame burning in his heart, the flame carrying the color of blood... it demanded revenge.

But...

Kuroro, each time that name was mentioned to him, some little peacefulness returned to his heart. Right now, with Kuroro's presence near him, Kurapika felt strangely safe. He wanted Kuroro. He wanted Kuroro to want him, to throw away everything and become his.

He hugged himself tighter. Exhaustion couldn't chase away the pain that was slowly eating away his mind or the conflict that was tearing his heart.

Kill him, or Want him?

Revenge, or Desire?

He only knew one thing. If it had to be Revenge, then it must be him to kill that person, it must be his hands that would be drenched in that person's blood. If it had to be Desire, then that person must belong to him, and only him.

-----

In the dim light, Leorio was also watching Kurapika, but as usual, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't guess what Kurapika was thinking. The shadows had helped Kurapika to hide his emotions as effectively as a thick coat. It was as if the blond had drawn a clear line before him, preventing anyone from coming near and getting into his heart.

Kurapika's expression only told him of exhaustion, but as his eyes continued to fix on the lonely Hunter, he realized in the flame reflected in those depths was the image of another person. Kuroro. And even the shadows couldn't shield away the mixed emotions. Affection and longing... Hatred and regret... Leorio knew Kurapika refused him that fiercely all because of that person. He also knew how Kuroro felt about the blond. Reading other's emotions was never his strong point, but one must be blind not to realize the raging storm of jealousy and anger hiding in Kuroro's eyes. Kuroro never stopped reading that damn book, but Leorio could almost feel murder heavy in the silence around him when he was holding Kurapika in his arms.

Leorio was painfully aware that it was only hatred and responsibility that prevented them from being together... But... love meant selfishness. How could he just stand there watching Kurapika in the arms of another? How could he hand over the blond without a fight? Could he be able to stand seeing the blond belong to someone else?

Deep down inside, Leorio knew the answer, yet he couldn't find a way to win over Kurapika's heart.

He didn't know when he had drifted to sleep, but when he woke up, it had already been the morning. Leorio groaned. It was the throbbing pain in his head that pulled him back from his sleep.

“So finally you wake up.”

Leorio opened his eyes and saw Killua. The boy looked strangely anxious. However, Leorio still complained while rubbing his head. “Why can't you find some better way to wake me up?”

“Fine. Next time remember me to hit you harder, if you want.”

He might lose calm, but he was still very Killua-like - Leorio thought. Giving up arguing with Killua, he looked around and instantly had a dreadful feeling that something bad had just happened. He sprang to his feet and dashed to the door. There was nothing outside except snow. Behind him, Killua was still standing there with his hands in his pockets, waiting patiently.

Leorio turned around, staring at Killua in disbelief. “Killua, what the hell had just happened?”

Finally withdrawn his hands from his pockets, Killua answered him slowly. “That was what I wanted to ask you.”

They stared at each other, worried and confused.

Everyone else had disappeared.

-----

At the same time, in another place, somewhere that lack of snows, of cold and silence...

It was a crowded, wealthy town. In a dark alley, Hisoka and Illumi were encountering the same problems. They were also separated from the others and put into an unfamiliar place.

“Interesting! The game has just begun.” Hisoka held up a Jack club and threw it lightly at the wall in front of him. The card hit the wall and cut into its surfaced.

Illumi stood with his arms folded, watching Hisoka and his little game. “I wonder where we should go to find our companions.” He said quietly.

“Companions? Illumi, they're not our companions. They're just the cards that will be played when the right time comes. We don't need to find them. There're multiple ways to win a game and I'll find that thing in my own way. Oh.” He chuckled. “And doing Gon Freecs a favor by the way.”

Another card, the King Diamond plunged into the wall easily like it was a dart.

“And I don't want to go with Kuroro. Not yet. He has recovered his ability and I want to fight with him.”

This time it was the Ace Heart.

“And before that, it's not a good idea to let your opponent know much about you, right?”

Hisoka's laughter echoed in the alley. There was no malice in his laughter, only the sheer joy of someone who would soon be able to get what he wanted. Yet there was still a hint of danger.

“You will go with me, won't you?” It was more like a statement than a question.

“You know I'll go with you, but Hisoka, you're still as imperious as usual.” Illumi sighed.

“All the cards are here. Now we only have to make the first move.” Hisoka ignored Illumi.

The last card in the deck was a Joker. It was thrown with so much force that it almost sank into the wall completely. The impact created when it hit the wall made all the earlier cards fall down.

At that moment, a man came into the alley. They didn't know who he was, as the thick, black coat and the hood hid his appearance. The stranger walked to them, and pulled the last card out of the wall easily. When the card left the brick surface, the whole wall collapsed.

Illumi frowned and Hisoka lifted his eyebrows. To be able to pull out the card Hisoka had thrown with his nen without any difficulty, this man wasn't weak at all.

“That's right. The time has come to make the first move.” The man turned to them and said.

-----

When Kurapika woke up, he found himself in a cell with Kuroro. It seemed Kuroro had just waked up not very long before him.

Only two of them... Kuroro was holding his book, paying no attention to his surroundings. The cell door was heavily locked.

Only two of them... The morning light seeped in through rusted bars, illuminating the open pages. There was only one window.

Only two of them... Their hands were all manacled, but Kuroro had destroyed his handcuffs and now he was reading comfortably.

Kurapika quickly analyzed their situation. Kuroro didn't seem to know what had happened either. Somebody, presumably someone with strong nen had locked them here without their knowing. That person had even brought them away in front of Killua, Hisoka and Illumi. Who on earth was powerful enough to do that?

He sat up. It was useless wondering who that person was. Right now finding a way to get out of here was more important. Gon was still kept as a hostage and he wanted to get his friend back as soon as possible. And beside, he didn't want to stay here alone with Kuroro. Either Hatred or Desire... if he stayed near Kuroro any longer, his self-control might crumble, and Kurapika wasn't sure what would become of him then.

His eyes stopped at the window. The bars were thin and rusted. The window was not very large, but still big enough for him to climb out if he broke the bars.

Kurapika destroyed his handcuffs easily then stood up and walked to the window. He tried to break the bars, but even when he used his nen, the bars still remained unharmed. As he examined them more carefully, he realized that the bars were all strengthened by nen.

...but anything was better than doing nothing. He tried again.

“It's no use. Don't be reckless.” Putting his book down, Kuroro said. Finally he broke the silence.

Kurapika refused to show any discomfort under Kuroro's stare. “It's not reckless. It's courage. Not like some cowards who gave up after the first try.” His voice turned bitter and full of sarcasm. He couldn't help it. He didn't even know what he was saying. Kuroro's voice reminded him of the massacre in the past.

“It's not cowardice either. It's patience.” Kuroro sighed sadly. Kurapika hadn't forgotten. “I've tried every way. Both the bars and locks were strengthened by nen, and whoever it was, that person is too powerful.”

And then... silence...

... after a long time, Kuroro sighed again. “Why? Everything would be easier if you forget.”

That was it. The balance that Kurapika had tried so desperately to maintain was destroyed in a moment. When the past was mentioned, it revived and refused to go away. It flamed up the anger sleeping in his heart. His painful past... It was so long ago, but it still felt like everything had just happened the day before.

...Blood...

All calmness lost. He flung himself at Kuroro.

... Blood... Blood was everywhere... the empty holes that should have been the eyes of his people... shock... lost... pain...

Caught off guard, Kuroro only had time to leap to his feet and dodged. However, the chain still left a long gash on his left cheek. Blood started dripping onto his clothes.

...His parents... the spider... the spiders... Ryodan...

Kurapika only saw red. Anger and hatred swallowed almost every thought, leaving only one command: KILL. KILL HIM. That single thought filled his consciousness and controlled his action.

He clenched his teeth, trying to calm down, but it was no use. His eyes must have completely changed into the color of blood, but he did not care. He couldn't care even if he wanted to. This was not right, his logic screamed. Fighting with Kuroro would only prevent him from helping Gon. Kurapika trembled, trying to stop himself, but slowly, the hand with the chain rose.

Attacked, and continued to attack. The chain seemed to weave into a net around Kuroro. But it still wasn't enough.

Without the slightest hint of being afraid, Kuroro didn't move from his position. He put no effort in defending himself, even though the chain continue to leave deep cut on his clothes and skins.

KILL HIM! KILLLLL!

Kurapika didn't stop. He couldn't stop. He just kept putting more and more force into the chain. Kuroro's clothes were torn in many places, and blood had formed into a small pool at his feet. Yet it wasn't enough... It would never been enough... The burning hatred in his heart demanded more.

DIE! DIEEEE!

He heard his own scream without knowing that he had screamed... years of loathing... of searching in vain... years of pain and sorrow... the suppressed emotions all escaped at the same moment, pushing him to the verge of sanity...

Blood... Blood was everywhere... But it was not the haunting shade of crimson that he saw every night in his sleep... This time blood was strangely beautiful... He craved for it... He searched for the pain on Kuroro's face... The chain continued to attack. Faster... Harder... Stronger...

Kuroro's hand was pressing on his chest, where blood had nearly dyed his shirt red. He slowly collapsed.

Kurapika stopped, his eyes dazed.

The chain fell down, creating a dry noise when metal clashed to the ground.

And then... silence...

TBC…