Initial D Fan Fiction ❯ Rush ❯ Endorphine Rush, still flowing ( Chapter 6 )

The next morning was the first time that Ryousuke could say that he awakened before the delivery boy. Takumi still slumbered peacefully, arms wrapped around Ryousuke's waist still. Ryousuke still had his arms wrapped around Takumi, the embodiment of tranquility. It must have been the first time in Takumi's life to have had such a deep sleep. He tried disengaging himself from the young driver, but the vice-like grip was not releasing despite his best efforts. This was astonishing to Ryousuke that in their first intimate encounter, the delivery boy was holding on for dear life. It seemed as if he were afraid of being left behind, forgotten and alone.

“Takumi,” Ryousuke cooed into Takumi's ear, shaking the younger driver.

“Mmmhh,” Takumi groaned as he rubbed his face on Ryousuke's chest. “Is it time to go yet?”

“No, I just wanted to make sure that we were awake in time to make the appointment. My father told me that we should meet him at the neurological wing,” Ryousuke commented as he brushed his fingers over Takumi's cheek.

“Do I still have to brave going there,” Takumi queried tentatively. He knew that, even though, he had said he did not want to go, they were going to make him conquer his phobia. “I really don't think that I can do it, Ryousuke.”

“Takumi, it will be all right. I am going to be there with you,” Ryousuke replied, holding Takumi close to him. “I know that it will be scary, please remember I am here and will be there with you, okay?”

“Okay,” Takumi whispered into Ryousuke's chest. “I love you. I love you more than you know.”

“Takumi, it will be okay,” Ryousuke replied planting a kiss on his forehead. “I love you, too.”

They lay there waiting to hear the sounds that Bunta usually made in the morning. Shuffling of feet as they headed to the shower were heard as well as the flushing of the toilet. The usual routine could be heard as if nothing were the matter. Bunta was not known as a proud person, nor was he considered inconsiderate. His life had been devoted to that of his son and ensuring that he lived the best life possible. Bunta had taught Takumi the art of racing because it was the only thing that Bunta knew how to give him besides the love the boy almost refused to acknowledge. One of the reasons why Bunta worried and worries about Takumi is that trust is not something that he learned. These things always followed the elder Fujiwara because it was his job to be a parent till the day he died.

The drive to the hospital was a drive unlike any other. Ryousuke had offered to drive because he knew that he was going to have a tough time keeping Takumi calm. The view was the same as it had always been. The trees and the mountain passes were the only constant that was reliable. The curve of the hairpins and the slope of the incline were somehow comforting for the three drivers in the white FC.

Slowly they made their way to the neurological wing of the hospital that was directed by Ryousuke's father. Bunta did not feel any trepidation or apprehensiveness because of the skilled doctors that were collected at the hospital. Bunta looked to his son, the pale features were shaking. Closer inspection showed that Takumi had a death grip on the handles of the car. Somewhere deep inside the mind of the current Hachi Roku driver, eminent fear too irrational to grasp reality started taking over.

“Takumi, you don't have to get out if you'd prefer to stay here,” Bunta spoke slowly and carefully. He knew that when Takumi had retreated within his mind like this, it was best to let him try to focus on something that was familiar to him. “Ryousuke, carefully unbuckle his seat belt.”
Ryousuke had not noticed the look that was on the face of his young lover. It was only when he was instructed to unbuckle his belt that he realized it was beyond a phobia. Irrational fear is something that can be described as something that people tend to draw to them even though they are truly scared of it. Ryousuke did the only thing that he could think of, after he did as instructed, he enveloped the younger driver in his embrace. He wanted to give Takumi something to focus on and help keep him grounded. He had to keep Takumi calm enough to at least enter the hospital waiting room.

“Takumi,” Ryousuke whispered very slowly and carefully. “We have to do this okay. Your father needs you to be there. You have to hear what the doctors have to say. It is only to help understand the gravity and earnestness of the situation.”

Slowly, he turned his head to meet the gaze of the FC driver. He eyes still be held the underlying fear that was going to be there until they left the premises. He wanted so badly to get himself under control. Takumi had wanted more than anything to be there for his father. Knowing the circumstances beyond his control and knowing why he had been pushed away, he now wanted to attempt to close the gap between him and his father.

“I think I can do it,” Takumi whispered his response. “I have to because he needs me. Right?”

“That is affirmative,” Ryousuke replied not hiding the affirmation he felt for the decision that Takumi had come to.

Ryousuke trusted his FC to the valet only because he knew that he had to accompany his lover and his lover's father to the waiting area. The second longest day ever had just begun. Takumi kept subconsciously stopping. He consciously wanted to attempt this, but his mind was still trapped in that three year old mentality. The only thing that is similar to this situation is what is described as multiple personality disorder. The mind takes over to protect what it thinks to be the most important pieces of the person's mind. This is borderline to that, in that case, the consciousness has no memory of certain pieces that can be performed. In certain instances, the mind takes over for the protection that it deems necessary for survival.

Each step toward the door was almost a step toward certain doom, Takumi did not know when the urge to run became apparent. Every time he tried to pull away, Ryousuke turned him away and pulled him tight in an embrace. Anything to help his mind stay focused on reality and the moment that was passing. Akagi's white comet knew what was necessary because he wanted to do everything he could to help the young man.

As they approached the door, Ryousuke's father came to help Bunta and introduce to his attending physicians. There were not any experimental procedures that they were aware of, yet, that could preserve brain function and remove all of the tumor. The location was the biggest problem of all. Where was the safest route of approach that would not leave him impaired in any way?

The senior Takahashi looked back at the pale youth in Ryousuke's arms and could not believe what he was seeing. His oldest son was half holding and half dragging the young man, but not in the sense that comes to mind. He was patiently telling him to take a step and another step, baby steps towards the hospital. The biggest hurdle was getting him inside. Though, he did not know how it could be accomplished to finish the last few steps.

“Ryousuke,” Takumi breathed. “I don't think that I can do it.”

Ryousuke looked at Takumi's eyes and saw silent tears spilling from his eyes. He turned the younger driver and held him tightly. There was nothing more that he could do. He had done everything that he could think of, but it was still not enough. The fear was engulfing the young man and he did not know how to help him. Ryousuke feared that Takumi would pass out and panic even more having to be examined. When he broke his leg, he had been unconscious and unaware of what was going on.

“Takumi, you have to try,” Ryousuke replied sadly. He wanted nothing more than to let him leave, but he knew that it would haunt him that he never tried. “Please just try going through the door.”

Each word of encouragement that was uttered from Ryousuke's lips was a testament to the power he had over the young driver. Power to help him overcome what his mind was trying to help him forget instead of move on. More importantly, the power to help Takumi realize his worth.

Takumi took one more step, without even realizing he was across the thresh hold of the hospital. He was shaking from an underlying instinct to get away, run to anywhere but there. The only thing that kept Takumi from running away was the firm embrace that continued to envelope him. He slowly turned to look at Ryousuke, his heart beat slowed and he was focusing on the look that he found in those lovely hazel jewels. He saw the encouragement and love he had almost forgotten. The last time that he be held such love was from his mother.

“I knew you could do it,” Ryousuke whispered encouragingly.

“I did it,” Takumi replied stunned. He looked around and noticed that his father was seated in a private consultation room. To his left was a receptionist desk and everywhere else was sparsely furnished. It looked nothing like the room that was plastered in his memory refusing to be discarded. “This is nothing like I remember, I'm glad.”

“Let's go to the first room. That is where your father and the doctors are talking about what can and cannot be done,” Ryousuke stated not holding back the satisfaction he had for the young driver.

“Do I have to keep going,” Takumi grudgingly continued to procrastinate heading to the room. His fear was not just of hospitals, but also the doctors and nurses and orderlies.

“Takumi, it is only for a few more minutes. There are tests and treatments that you definitely cannot follow because of the radiation. One of the treatment possibilities is radiation therapy as well as chemotherapy,” Ryousuke informed him, grabbing his hand squeezing lovingly and reassuringly.

“I thought that he was just going to wait out his death here. I didn't realize that he could continue to prolong his death,” Takumi pondered aloud.

“The one thing that I think that you would want to know is why your father wants to continue to prolong his death,” Ryousuke commented. “I would think that he would want to end his suffering. “
“Do you think it is because he thinks that I cannot take care of myself,” Takumi interjected hitting the nail on the head.

“He has said that you need someone to be around you. I can tell you that it is attributed to the abandonment issues that you still have to deal with. I am not telling you this because I think that you are charity case; I am telling you this because I am studying to be a doctor like my father. Unfortunately, I can tell you what you need and don't need help with,” Ryousuke stated matter of factly.

“I know that you don't think of me as a charity case,” Takumi replied. “I'm just glad that I haven't scared you away because of my issues.”

“They are what attracted me to you in the first place. You have this amazing ability to stay humble and not mention what is wrong with you,” Ryousuke whispered in Takumi's ear, from behind, as he embraced the younger driver. “Right now, you need to come with me and support your father.”

As they made their way the last few feet, Takumi's mind was flooded with images of people surrounding him. He tried to keep himself from looking over his shoulder or even shrugging Ryoysuke's arm off of his shoulders. The biggest step had been made getting inside, but he did not know that he still had to fight the torment his mind was putting him through. One second he thought he saw himself in the corner, the next he thought he was huddling in a chair. He turned to Ryousuke and let him know what was happening.

“I really don't think I can make it,” Takumi whispered. “I don't know what is happening, but I keep seeing myself when my mom died.”
“That is natural. Your mind is playing tricks on you because of the fear that you have,” Ryousuke replied. “I guess this was beyond a phobia. It sounds like you have an irrational fear of hospitals. This is not bad, but right now I think we should just take you outside. Fresh air will help clear your mind of the images that you see.”

Ryousuke sat Takumi in a nearby chair and went to inform his father of what was happening. He was only gone for a few minutes. The two exchanged concerned glances Takumi's direction, but it was nothing to be concerned about. Irrational fear is easily overcome, but since this was Takumi's first attempt to overcome his fear, the best thing to do was not to push it farther than they had. The more that they could get him to work at stepping inside a hospital, the closer he would get to overcoming it all together.

While they were outside, Takumi was curious as to what they were counseling his father about. He never wanted to know what was going on with his father before. The two coexisted with respect of personal space and privacy. Takumi talked with him only when he had figured something out about the car, or whenever he wanted to talk about the deliveries.

“You want to go for a drive down the Akagi touge,” Ryousuke chanced after a profound, poignant silence. “I know that you do not have your car, but I don't mind letting you drive my FC. If that would suffice with you.”

“Huh, oh no, that would be fine. My father has been making me alternate between the Impreza and the 86 the last few months,” Takumi confided. “I have always wanted at least feel what it is like to drive a rotary engine.”

“Well, I guess now would be the chance for you to feel one,” Ryousuke was trying any way he could to help Takumi relieve his stress. He knew that chancing Takumi behind his wheel was a gamble; however, he also knew that Takumi would not drive with just his emotions like he did the night he blew the original engine battle Kyouichi of the Emperors. “You just look like you could use a drive.”

“Do I really wear my emotions that clearly,” Takumi queried.

“Sorry, but yes you do,” Ryousuke answered with a chuckle, planting a kiss on his forehead to keep him pacified. “It is another factor that is endearing and humbling about you. You're not afraid to show your emotions, but you manage to stay reserved and controlled.”

During this little exchange, Ryousuke's father had finished counseling Bunta, along with the attending physicians and specialists. Standing in the doorway, the senior Takahashi was becoming more aware of why the two had managed to come together. They were both magnetic with their auras. People were drawn to them for different reasons. He knew that they were a better match that he could have picked himself.

“Well, we have just finished the admission process,” Dr. Takahashi hazarded, breaking the spell the of the moment. “He is settling in right now. I know that you went as far as you could today. There is nothing more you can do here because visiting hours are over.”

“Oh, okay,” Takumi replied shyly, he did not know why they intimidated him. “I just wanted to at least say good bye, for the day.”

“He knows,” Dr. Takahashi responded, putting a comforting hand on the young driver's shoulder. “He knew that you would not have gotten past the doors in the first place. He is proud of you for being able to come inside.”

“I guess we'll be going,” Ryousuke answered. “Will you be calling me later, father?”

“Yes, I will be able to give you the details of what will be happening. Now just doesn't seem like the time,” Dr. Takahashi responded, looking forlornly at Takumi. He knew that the news was going to be harder to take than trying to overcome an irrational fear. “You two be careful.”

“Do you mind if we take that drive now, Ryousuke-san? I hope it is okay for me to drive your car,” Takumi hazarded shyly.

“Of course, it is. I know that you need to focus on something else right now,” Ryousuke replied with a broad smile. He was trying to lighten the mood.

As they approached the FC, Ryousuke handed the keys to Takumi. He knew that this was necessary to help him gather his wits. Driving always seemed to helped his young lover. If Takumi had had an altercation with his father, he would always stay out driving until he felt calm enough to go home. Ryousuke knew this because he had called on a day they had had a fight.

Takumi felt a little apprehensive behind the wheel of the FC because he was unfamiliar with the feel of the car. He cautiously felt the pedals comparing them to his car. He noticed that they were a little more sensitive because of the power differential. The gear shift was about the same. The seat had to be adjusted to his height because he was not as tall as Ryousuke. Turning the ignition they both heard the engine purr with the power that it was capable of. Now that Ryousuke was no longer interested in racing, he had restored the engine to its original power output, though being careful of both uphill and downhill balance.

Takumi was now familiar with Mount Akagi that he did not need to be cautious with his approach on the uphill. He treated the car as if he had tofu in the hatch. Testing the balance and what adjustments and counter adjustments were needed. The more familiar he became with the feel of the car the more he increased his speed. Driving was one of the natural ways that he was able to clear his mind. Though Keisuke was the uphill specialist for Project D, Takumi did have experience on the uphill because of how his father taught him to drive. Ryousuke took notice of how Takumi was driving his car. He was amazed at how Takumi was getting acquainted with his car on the uphill, this meant that he would approach the downhill with more ease and not hold back. The adaptability factor of his theorem for street racing.

Takumi was steadily approaching the peak. His expression had changed to the determined obtrusiveness he always carries. He was more confident with his ability in driving the FC. It was an FR like the 86, however, it was a newer model with a twin turbo engine. It had a different feel because it was a rotary engine. Takumi was never aware of how important the water technique was until he got behind the wheel of the FC. Instinctively, he was making himself aware of the balance of the car just by imagining the water and the tofu inside the vehicle with him.

As they approached the peak, Ryousuke realized that 86 does indeed train the driver, as Bunta had told Yuichi, when Takumi first started racing. This meant that when they drove on the downhill Ryousuke would see the potential that Takumi be held. He may be limiting himself to an inferior car; yet, Ryousuke knew it was because the younger driver did not have confidence in his driving abilities.

Takumi got out of the FC to check the condition of the tires. He knew that his driving was going to put pressure on them. They still had plenty of traction because he was not driving his maximum capability. While he was checking the tires, he let his mind wander to the day's events. Takumi had not been aware that he had been affected that badly. He knew that his father loved him and had not meant for that to happen. It was something that could not be overcome. No matter how hard Takumi tried to push through those mental barriers, he was never able to establish any kind of connection to his father.

Once he had established the factor of the tires being able to handle the downhill, he returned to the driver's seat. Ryousuke was still aware of the change in personality that Takumi had undergone. The look in his eyes was pure confidence. The pressure of the peddles and the way that he handled the car was similar to the downhill ace that he was.

Takumi pulled out of the parking lot very cautiously, aware that Akagi had more traffic than Akina. The car was indeed a new experience in the evolution of the FR. Takumi had only been accustomed to the cars his friends had had. Their cars were good, but the FC maintained by Ryousuke was far superior due to the fact that he knew more than they did. Of course, the main factor being the unlimited funds his father had bestowed upon Keisuke and Ryousuke.

As they approached the first turn, Takumi began reacting instead of thinking. The uphill had purely been to acquaint himself with the car. The power differential kicked in a bit on the first turn. Takumi adjusted the car in the turn to where he needed it for the best turn possible. The next turn was a little easier because he had gotten used to the kick of the turbo when he hit the accelerator. He was able to shift the car into full four wheel drifts without having to guess where he needed to be for the best line to take.

The only thing that was on his mind right now was trying to master the FC. He was not used to the power that the twin turbo engine was producing. The third turn was much easier and Takumi quickly found the pace that he wanted to maintain. The needle was steadily climbing, the tachometer was nowhere near the red zone. Somehow, Ryousuke knew that his car was not being pushed to its limits. He had never been able to maintain any kind of speed without having to shift to keep his car from reaching the red zone.

The drifting of the vehicle was causing him to worry about the pressure of his tires giving out on them. He knew that Takumi had checked them out making sure that they could handle the inertial drifts that he did. Everything about Takumi was radiating the genius that he was. The guidance that he was being given, the worry free expenses, and the challenges. He was constantly being pushed against the wall with every battle that he faced; yet, somehow, he managed to keep the two personas separate, but equal from one another. The level of concentration was what always amazed the elder driver. How could someone so young maintain his pace without once worrying about his surroundings?

Takumi was not aware that he was not even pushing the car. He knew that he was adjusting to the turbo and was not even aware that he could push it further still. The straight ways were making him aware of the acceleration that the FC was still capable of . By the fifth turn, he had figured that he could increase his speed on the straight ways, then brake at the last possible second to maintain his top speed overall. He had not yet figured out what kind of top speed he was capable of in an FC, or any other car except the Impreza or the 86. He pressed the peddle further down, inching the odometer closer to the top speed.

The tires continued to squeal, dust and debris continued to fly. The further down the pass they drove the clearer an impression Takumi had of the FC's capabilities. He was even managing to preserve the tire's traction. As they approached the base of Akagi, Ryousuke was certain, now more than ever, that he had found the perfect subject with which to test his theory. Takumi was bestowed with a gift. His father was the only one that knew how to nurture something like this at such an early age. Ryousuke was proudly polishing the makings of one of the greatest professional drivers that could ever be.

When the FC finally had the parking brake on, Ryousuke reached over and embraced Takumi. Ryousuke knew that the drive had been to clear his mind and free himself of the inner turmoil. The conflict between conscious and subconscious continued to battle within the young driver. Ryousuke was the closest thing to solace that Takumi allowed himself to have.

“I know I should have said this, but I am proud of you, as well,” Ryousuke spoke into the dirty blond locks. “You pushed yourself further than I could have imagined possible. The only thing that boggles me still is why have you allowed yourself to get close to me?”

“I allowed myself to get close to you because I was tired of being alone,” Takumi replied quietly. “I was tired of distancing myself because I might be betrayed at any time. I don't know what it is about you that made me overcome this, but I love you for it.”

“I love you too,” Ryousuke purred into Takumi's ear. “Do you want to drive back to my place, or do you want to head back to Akina?”

“I want to go home,” Takumi breathed as he turned his head to the right allowing Ryousuke access to his exposed throat. Ryousuke kissed up to the ear and began to nibble. He made the young driver's breath stick in his throat once more. He moved to those soft, pink luscious lips he loved so much. He kissed him passionately and desperately. Ryousuke's tongue searched the sweet confines of his mouth. They danced and teased one another creating the necessary heat to start flirting all over again. Tonight, like the night before, was going to be filled with explorations that would make a sailor blush with shame.