InuYasha Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ *What* Insertion? ❯ Elaboration, Communication, and Recreation ( Chapter 15 )

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WHAT* INSERTION?
by Curtis Wildcat


Chapter Fifteen ---- Elaboration, Communication, and Recreation

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(Cue theme)

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Time: March 29, 1996; 4:05p.m.
Location: The Cat Cafe

A loud snap-hiss signalled Phibrizzo's arrival within the Nekohanten. If it were anywhere else but Nerima, people would've rubbed their eyes and wondered if they'd eaten something bad; as it was, no one so much as twitched.

Shampoo was the first to greet him, as usual. "Small boy! Same as last time?"

"Yeah," Phibrizzo said, sitting down at the first available table. "Same as last time, Psycho Amazon."

Shampoo frowned and brought herself down to eye level. "Name is Shampoo. Not Freaky Kitty, not Hyper Rodent, not Psycho Amazon. It Shampoo."

Phibrizzo glared at her. "Name is Phibrizzo," he answered in the same tone. "Not 'Small Boy'. Phibrizzo. Phi-bri-zzo Ka-den. I've been going here for two months, and you still haven't got it right."

Shampoo stood up. "Can't help if Phibizzo hard to say..."

"Never mind. Can you just get my order?" Phibrizzo muttered, annoyed. "And tell Elder Cologne I said hi."

Shampoo nodded, turned and exited the dining area. Phibrizzo, meanwhile, rested his chin on his arms. I know Japanese isn't her first language, but come on. She ought to have learned how to pronounce my name by now.

"She has," Inuyasha said. "She's probably saying it like that just to tick you off."

"That was Japanese?" Curtis asked. "I thought that was English."

Inuyasha closed his eyes as he entered Curtis's chamber. "You forgot again, didn't you?" he asked. "As long as you're here, everything you hear out there is translated to your own language...'dubbed', I think you called it. Remember?"

"Sorry about that," Curtis answered him, sweatdropping. "When I wake up, I don't remember everything that goes on here. I tend to lose some of the details. By the way..." Curtis caused another bottle of 'Gatorade' to appear on his chair's cup-holder. "You mentioned before that Ranma sounds a lot like you, right? Just clearing that up."

"Yeah. That's right."

"Weird. You don't sound the same...not really."

"The way we talk's the same, though," Inuyasha said. He shook his head. "Man, why does this have to be so confusing?"

"Life usually is." Curtis opened up the 'Gatorade' and took a sip. "Case in point: Nerima."

Don't even get me started about Nerima. Phibrizzo looked on, amused, as Mousse entered the Nekohanten---either back from a delivery or from taking on Ranma for some alleged reason (probably the former; he doesn't look beat up, Phibrizzo thought). He waved at him. "Hey, Mousse. Over here!"

Mousse looked around, then focused on an empty chair. "Is that you, Phibrizzo?"

"Over here," Phibrizzo said. "Come on, keep your glasses on for a moment...there, that's more like it. Yeah, I'm over here. How're things going?"

"About the same," the near-blind Amazon confirmed, this time facing the right way. "Same old fights, same old accusations, same old drawn-out speeches..."

"Let's see..." Phibrizzo started counting off on his fingers. "Ryoga chose to pick a fight with Ranma instead of finding something more constructive to do with his time...he accused Ranma of cheating on Akane when he knew zilch about the situation...Tatewaki Kuno showed up and started rattling off random poetry that didn't relate to said situation...am I missing anything?"

"You're spooky when you get like that," Mousse said. "Yes, that's pretty much how things have been. That crossdresser who keeps bugging Ukyo Kuonji showed up again, but other than that it's been about the same."

Phibrizzo shook his head. "Ugh. You ever hear the expression 'love is blind', Mousse? No offense..."

"None taken."

"Thanks. Well, I'm starting to think that about some of the conflicts here."

Mousse chuckled. "How would you know that? You've probably never experienced it yourself."

"Experienced what?"

"Love."

"I'm sure your intentions are good, Mousse," Phibrizzo growled, "but if 'love' means being bashed by a bonborri or poisoned by a crackpot florist...I'd much rather eat Principal Kuno's pineapple bombs."

Mousse started to head towards the Nekohanten's kitchen, but paused. "Then why do you come here, if you don't like romance?"

Phibrizzo shrugged. "I like the food." As if on cue, a carton of ramen flew out of the kitchen; Phibrizzo stretched his arm and snagged it before it hit the floor. "Besides, I'm a kid. Why would I be interested in forming attachments with anyone?"

Mousse continued towards the kitchen. "True."

As Phibrizzo started eating, his thoughts began wandering. He hadn't let this on, but the Amazon's comment about him not having experienced love had struck a nerve inside him.

He lowered the chopsticks he was using, a faint jingling noise directing his gaze to his bracelets---two pieces of some unknown metal and a thin cord with several beads hanging from it. They'd once formed one bracelet, with the cord and beads adhered on the trinket's circumference; odd-looking, yes, but its previous owner had been quite fond of it for some reason.

Its previous owner...

"Want diet cola or not?" Shampoo's voice asked impatiently.

Phibrizzo shook himself out of his reverie and took the drink from Shampoo's hands. "Want diet cola, yes," he said mockingly. "Regular cola too, too sweet. Make small boy go hyper. Mass chaos and destruction everywhere---"

"No make fun of Shampoo," the Amazon interrupted warningly. "Shampoo not stupid, compared to others."

Phibrizzo sighed. "If I have things right, Shampoo, you're planning on becoming an elder in your home village someday, right?"

"Yes."

"As of now, I'm sure your major rivals don't think too highly of you. You look nice and you wield a mean mace---kind of makes me wish I had one---but you have all the social skills of a squirrel."

Shampoo's eyes seemed to flare at that comment. "Take that back!"

Curtis glared out the viewport. "Phibrizzo, could you be quiet and eat before you end up hurting yourself?"

Phibrizzo's frown deepened. "I may not be an expert on social behavior, but what you do in public is illegal in most places, Akane's mallet-happy temperament notwithstanding," he said, ignoring Curtis.

Curtis sighed and walked away. "Inuyasha, could you do me a favor?" he asked as he exited the room.

Inuyasha knew what that meant, of course. Before Phibrizzo could continue, he leapt past Curtis's chair, unsheathed the Tetsusaiga, and slashed the floor with the Wind Scar.

As before, the lines of flaming energy faded into the ground; with a startled cry, Phibrizzo grabbed his head and shook it to and fro. "Ouuuucchh," he moaned as Shampoo looked on, a bit puzzled but not complaining. "Guys, what did you do that for!?"

"Quit ticking off the Amazon," Inuyasha remarked, sheathing the Tetsusaiga. "It was either us getting the message across, or..."

"Or what?" Phibrizzo snapped angrily, still clutching his head. "I'm sick of that girl not using my name!" As he spoke, Curtis entered Inuyasha's chamber and walked towards the buttons. "I'm sick of watching her act without caring what the other person's thinking, and I'm---"

Curtis pushed the "Switch" button and shoved Phibrizzo into the green, liquid pillar within Inuyasha's room. "That's quite enough, Phibrizzo," he said, taking his hands off his head. "If she won't listen to her rivals or Ranma, she sure ain't gonna listen to you. As much as I share your sentiments, being blunt won't help. Things are so messed up around here that no one's going to change their mind just because you get mad."

Shampoo blinked as she heard this, then recognized the change. "Um...round boy?"

Phibrizzo would've laughed if he wasn't focusing on his headache.

Curtis winced. "I guess I never did introduce myself back then, did I? I'm Curtis."

Shampoo smiled. "Curtis...much easier to say. Not too happy that small boy insulted Shampoo, though."

"You have a minute?" Curtis asked, slurping some of the diet soda. In the back of his head, Inuyasha returned to his own chamber, glanced at the distressed Phibrizzo, and sat down in his usual spot.

Shampoo looked around the store; no new customers had entered the Cat Cafe (yet), and everyone who was there were happily eating their own servings. She sat down at the table. "Free until Shampoo needed for deliveries. Why small boy insult and make fun of Shampoo?"

"It's his way of getting back at the world," Curtis said, after which he shovelled some ramen into his mouth. After he chewed and swallowed it, he continued. "Phibrizzo's kind of anti-social. He doesn't like people; if it were up to him, he'd stay in his room all day and think angry thoughts about the world in general. Don't feel bad if he insults you; he does the same to most people he meets."

Shampoo tilted her head just a little, a cat-like gesture that came from spending plenty of time as one. "If small boy hate people, why go to Nerima?"

"He likes the food," Curtis said. "Besides, there's always something happening here, even if it's just Kuno. Keeps him from getting bored."

Shampoo nodded, accepting that. "True, that."

Curtis sighed before drinking down some of the diet soda. "Sometimes I wish people around here would start thinking straight for more than a few minutes, though," he admitted. "Most of my time in school was spent dodging bullies and dealing with juvenille behavior. The situation's kind of comparable here: I'm used to it, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it." His eyes narrowed. "I'm half-tempted to put a stop to it."

"Why doesn't Curtis do that, then? Extra competition is nice," Shampoo stated. "Might liven things up."

"If I try anything with the Tendo agreement, Akane and Ryoga won't be the same," Curtis said, munching down some more ramen. "If I try anything with the Kuonji situation, she won't be the same. If I try anything with your marriage claim, Mousse will make your life miserable while your village wrecks havoc with mine...one or the other. Last, if I try anything with Kodachi's claim, I'd go insane listening to her laugh. Besides, even borrowing Phibrizzo's abilities, I wouldn't last five minutes if anyone tried to fight me."

Shampoo smiled, amused. "Make lousy Amazon for sure, if not able to learn basics," she said. "Really useless male."

"That's why I'm planning something else," Curtis said with a grin. "It won't solve anything, but at least it'll show where the problem lies. Are you familiar with soccer? It should be called 'football' around here."

Shampoo nodded. "Young Amazons learn sport early. Help build stamina for later training. Village watched world competition held two years before."

"Good, and that would be the 'World Cup'." Curtis motioned towards himself, and Shampoo edged forward a little. Curtis whispered something in her ear over the course of a minute.

--------

Location: Ucchan's Okonomiyaki

The phone rang. Ukyo reached over and answered it, half-busy at the grill. "Hello? This is 'Ucchan's"...Is that you, Shampoo? That's surprising. What do you want?...A football game, you said? Sounds neat, but I'm rather busy...oh, with him? How could I say 'no' to that? Count me in, sugar. When?...Great. I'll do it. Am I allowed to use my spatula?...Even better. Alright. Bye-bye."

--------

Location: Tendo residence
Time: 7:25p.m.

No one was surprised when Shampoo barged into the Tendos' home and dragged a protesting Genma outside, interrupting the shogi match between him and Soun. They weren't surprised when the Amazon launched him into the koi pond. They were surprised, though, when Ukyo showed up and spatula-flipped the human-turned-panda back towards Shampoo; she, in turn, booted Genma back the other way. Getting in on the fun, Akane decided to join the impromptu game as well (Nabiki had gotten a call from Curtis, who said that something was going to happen at the dojo that evening; he hadn't implied what it was, only that she should tell Akane the news and suggest that she help out).

Finally, after one well-timed kick sent Genma (who had withstood the kicks pretty well) into the atmosphere, most of the audience sweatdropped after Nabiki leaned out the window and calmly held up a sign that read 'GOAL!' in Japanese and English.

When everyone dispersed, not much was solved. That hadn't been the goal of Curtis's suggestion, though: his intention had been for the girls to come to a mutual agreement...

...that Ranma's predicament was pretty much Genma's fault.

Sitting on the roof, Ranma just smiled. Any evening where people weren't chasing after him and beating him up needlessly was alright with him.

Inside the building, Soun starting crying about not being able to finish the game...then switched several pieces around in mid-sob.

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Time: 40 minutes earlier
Location: Kaden residence

It had been another nice dinner, all things considered...although Phibrizzo had never eaten a meal quite like this before. He'd sampled most of the marine life that were sold in Tokyo, but he never thought he'd eat part of an octopus.

The telephone rang. After swallowing what he had, Marcus got up and answered it. "Hello? Kaden residence."

"Hi, Marcus!" Conan Edogawa's voice chirped. "Is Phibrizzo there?"

Marcus smiled, recognizing the youngster's voice. Phibrizzo seemed to like and respect the kid, but to date he'd only used his family name in addressing him. The foster parent had told Conan previously that just because his son didn't use his given name was no excuse for him not to. "Yes, he is. Would you like to speak to him?"

Phibrizzo turned to the phone, swallowing that last of his dinner. He knew who it was, obviously.

"Sure. Thank you!" Conan said.

-------

Location: Moore Detective Agency

"Hello?" Phibrizzo's voice asked.

"Hi, Phibrizzo! Are you busy?" Conan answered.

Somewhere behind Conan, Serena Sebastian could be heard saying: "Phibrizzo is such a weird name. What was his father thinking?"

Phibrizzo must have heard her say that. "I think that line graduated from 'annoying' to 'running joke'," he quipped. "Who was that?"

"A friend of Rachel's. Do you want to come over? I think today's material might've been a little tough for you..."

That was code for "Come on by so we can update each other on our respective pursuits". Helping Phibrizzo with his homework was just a cover.

"Sure. I'll be by as soon as I can."

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Time: 7:10p.m.

It was at this time that Phibrizzo arrived at the agency, schoolbooks tucked beneath his arm. Just as he raised his hand to knock, the door opened and Rachel walked right into him in mid "good-bye, dad", knocking him over. Recovering quickly, he picked up his schoolbooks and stood up again. "Oh. Hey, cousin Rachel."

"Hi, Phibrizzo," Rachel said apologetically. "Sorry if I ran into you."

"You did, but no worries." Phibrizzo smiled reassuringly. "I've had wor---"

"Wow, this must be your little cousin you told me about," Serena remarked as she approached the door. "He looks cute for his age."

Phibrizzo's smile froze. One big disadvantage to looking like a kid was that people tended to fawn over you. "Um...hi."

Serena smiled, then turned to Rachel. "You know, Rachel, I could think of a few people that could learn from this kid."

"Learn from him?" Rachel inquired. "You've barely known him for ten seconds."

"At least he comes by on a regular basis," Serena said, "unlike someone else we know. All he needs is a little haircut and a few extra years, and he'll start breaking hearts real quick."

Phibrizzo sweatdropped. "Okay. One: my hair's fine as it is. Two: my life's heartbreaking enough without me adding to it. I've had too many bad experiences with girls already." The enemy of all who live comes to mind, he added silently.

From the office, Conan couldn't help but chuckle. "Too many kids have crushes on you? Like, say---"

Phibrizzo's face heated up in a heartbeat. "If you even say 'Azusa', Edogawa..." he stated, leaving that sentence hang unfinished.

"Azusa Edogawa...that's a concept," Curtis said, chuckling. "I wonder what the klepto would call his bow-tie?"

"Hold on a second," Inuyasha spoke up. "Kids act like their parents, right? What would their kids become?"

Rachel, Serena, and Conan looked on as Phibrizzo's expressions (and color) continuously changed. "Is there something wrong with him?" Serena asked.

"He's having an argument with himself, probably," Conan said calmly as he joined them.

Both girls turned to face him. "With himself?" they asked.

"Multiple personality disorder," Conan answered, speaking to Serena. "Don't ask. Just leave him alone for a minute."

Meanwhile...

"I think they'd be figure skaters who like mystery stories," Inuyasha suggested. "Man, have you ever heard of a dumber sport?"

Guys...

"The sport's not as dumb as you think," Curtis said, vaguely remembering the name 'Brian Boitano', "but that's besides the point. I think they'd be detectives obsessed with figure skating. And they'd give the evidence French names."

Hello?

"Only one way to find out." Inuyasha smirked. "Is there some way we can get the two to spend time together?"

Hey...

"Not without Phibrizzo asking someone for a restraining order. Face it: we'd make lousy matchmakers," Curtis told him. "Besides, he's in love with Rachel anyway. He's just too stubborn to admit it out loud."

Excuse me...

Inuyasha's smirk became a grin. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Probably."

Guys, would you mind!? They're staring at me!

"Sssshhh," Curtis hissed. "We're thinking."

So, should I get some aspirin for your headaches? Quit it!

"Should I do it, or do you want to?"

"Go for it, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha smiled as he examined the wall of buttons in his chamber. Shuffling over to the white 'O' on the floor (the only place he could do the most damage, besides switching), he reached as far as he could and tapped a button labeled 'Blurt'.

Right out of the blue, Phibrizzo's mouth opened of its own accord. "Jimmy Kudo loves you, Rachel!"

The office was dead silent. Everyone's eyes widened for different reasons. At his desk, Richard's left eye twitched.

Phibrizzo slapped his hands over his mouth. Inuyasha, you miserable hound...!

"...He does...?" Rachel asked, blushing a little. "Even though he's been gone these two months without more than a few phone calls...I just wish he'd say it to my face, though."

"Straightforward," Serena said, amazed. "I'm impressed with this kid. And here I thought Jimmy was a total loser."

Conan tried to back away, his face a deeper shade of red than Rachel's. What is he...!?

Phibrizzo's eyes narrowed. Inuyasha, you step away from there, or so help me I'll---

Press.

"Kudo's the greatest! As soon as he finishes that case, he'll tell you himself how he feels!"

As Phibrizzo tried shoving a fist into his own mouth, Rachel stooped down to him. "Thank you, Phibrizzo, but you don't need to tell me that. I'm already positive that he's coming back---"

In a fit of anger, Phibrizzo threw his books down and yelled: "Stupid extra personalities! What have I done to deserve this!? I can't even choose what I want to say anymore! I hate my life! Are some rights so much to ask for!?" As the shout echoed down the stairwell, he broke off his rant and began hyperventilating.

Once again, dead silence. This time, Serena was the one who broke it. "Oookay...someone forgot to take their chill pill this morning."

Rachel shook her head. "I think I'm starting to buy into the whole 'multiple personality disorder' thing. I can't imagine what a whole week with him's going to be like."

Serena turned to her. "A whole week? Rachel, what do you mean?"

"His foster parents are heading out of town during Golden Week," Rachel clarified. "They didn't want to take him with them. Mom's going to look after their cat, and Phibrizzo will be bunking here at the agency."

"They're going out of town during Golden Week and leaving their kid behind?" Serena folded her arms, looking skeptical. "What kind of people do that?"

"They're real enthusiastic that they have someone to take care of, and they don't mind when I start wandering all over Tokyo," Phibrizzo grumbled, trying not to look at them. "They're real caring and stuff...but I think they're exaggerating my independent streak."

Serena looked at her friend questioningly. "Independent streak?"

"He likes to wander Tokyo after school," Rachel said.

"Oh. Hey, shouldn't we be going? We don't want to be late for the concert."

Phibrizzo perked up, his funk temporarily shaken off. "Concert?"

Serena smiled. "There's a concert being held downtown. Since my father's company is one of the sponsors, I had some pull. I was able to get a few tickets at a reasonable price."

Phibrizzo shrugged, then stooped and picked up his books. "Well, don't let me keep you. Nice meeting you," he said as he entered the agency.

"Glad that's settled." As Rachel and Serena stepped outside, the former turned and waved good-bye. "See you later, dad...Conan...Phibrizzo."

"Bye-bye," Phibrizzo said.

Richard nodded and looked up from his newspaper. "Have a good evening, Rachel."

After the door was closed, Phibrizzo walked over to the desk, Conan close behind. The half-mazoku greeted Richard as he went. "Alright, uncle; we're gonna get a head start on this weekend's homework. Is that okay with you?"

"Go on. Just don't bother me unless it's important, alright?" Richard said, waving him off. "There's probably a snack or something in the fridge if you want anything."

Phibrizzo nodded. "Probably can't have it, but thanks anyway. And don't try to leave us in the lurch the next time you have a case."

"You're not going to let me forget what happened Monday, are you?" Richard mumbled. "I won't leave you behind. Just go on, Phibrizzo."

-----

As recent habits dictated, the two pseudo-kids headed upstairs to the agency's living area. Phibrizzo set his books down, got out the one on Japanese writing, took out a marker and several sheets of paper...and was greeted with Conan's narrow look.

Several seconds ticked by. Finally, Phibrizzo set his stuff down. "Alright, Edogawa. What's your problem?"

"What were you doing, yelling stuff out like that?" Conan asked testily. "Anyone could've been listening in!"

Phibrizzo's eyes flashed with reflected light. "We would've known if anyone had. Besides, the parasites in there decided to have some fun at my expense. Honestly...you're the most uptight person I've ever might. I thought paranoia was my department."

"Besides, you're one to talk," Curtis muttered over the microphone, "calling us 'personalities'. We're real people with real feelings and emotions."

"If you're a real person," Conan challenged, "then show me what you really look like."

"Best I can do would be to switch places with Phibrizzo and then sketch a picture of my real face," Curtis said. "And I already told you a few days ago that I'm a lousy artist."

"I'm pretty good at drawing," Phibrizzo suggested. "Let me try."

"You're good at drawing?" Inuyasha asked as Phibrizzo took out a pen and began sketching a picture. "I didn't think you liked art that much."

When you've been wandering a continent for centuries, finding ways to make lives miserable...you tend to get bored, Phibrizzo explained as he silently drew Curtis's likeness. I've done murals and paintings a few times over the centuries, I'm good at brass racquets, I can make my own glass ornaments, I can sing a little, and I've taught myself how to play the flute and harp. Can't say you have any other talents besides swinging that sword around and barking in my ears.

Inuyasha nearly snapped at that, but restrained himself in time. "You don't know much about me, either," he growled. "I'm pretty good at math and writing...legible writing, mind you." He added that last part to remind Phibrizzo that his knowledge of Japanese kanji was substandard. "I didn't exactly have time to get a hobby."

Curtis stepped away from the microphone. "And you seem to be good at strategy when you're calm," he pointed out.

Strategy? Whatever gave you that idea? Phibrizzo inquired, adding some details to the picture.

"He's got a 31-5 record at 'Stratego', 12-2 at 'Monopoly', and don't even get me started on 'Risk'," Curtis admitted. "I took both Americas and Africa, and he still crushed me. How could he not have a solid grasp of strategy?"

It could be that he's average and you just stink, Phibrizzo said.

"Or it could be that you keep underestimating Inuyasha," Curtis replied.

Phibrizzo ignored him. We've been going on about our talents, but we don't know anything about what you can do. Got anything special we should know about?

"Phibrizzo?" Conan asked.

He looked up. "Yeah, Edogawa?"

"Are you okay? You keep zoning out."

"Just having a conversation with Curtis and Inuyasha," he muttered. "When I said I was a good artist, that got the others chattering away. Aside from what you already know I can do...I'm a decent flutist and tennis player, amongst other things. Inuyasha's pretty good at math and strategy, apparently. I don't know what Curtis can do, though."

"You mean what I can really do?" Curtis asked over the microphone. "It's nothing special. I'm good at some video games, I'm a good typist, I like puns...and that's about it; unlike you guys, I'm your average Joe. Piano lessons and swimming lessons never went anywhere; I only know one song, and I have trouble staying in anything but shallow water."

"Funny," Phibrizzo murmured, smiling. "I would've assumed your bulk would keep you afloat."

"There's one other thing I'm good at," Curtis said. "Keeping my temper leashed."

"Keeping your temper leashed?" Conan asked inquisitively.

"I have a short temper, and sometimes it takes a little work to keep it under control," Curtis explained slowly. "You wouldn't like me when I get mad."

"That's no problem," Phibrizzo cracked, finishing the picture. "I don't like you now."

Curtis sweatdropped as Inuyasha laughed somewhere in the background. "Walked right into that one. Anyways, let's see what that picture looks like."

Curtis and Inuyasha edged towards the front of their respective rooms. Conan leaned forward to examine the picture, as well. "That's pretty good," he said, smiling.

"He exaggerated my weight," Curtis grumbled. "I'm closer to 200 pounds, but he drew me at 260. What gives?"

"Well, you eat a lot, don't you?" Phibrizzo asked, an eyebrow raised. "I haven't seen you go more than two or three hours without eating or drinking something. You still have that huge gut."

"That's not my real weight," Curtis insisted. "I was 260 when I got here. It's not like I had any choice."

"About whether you wanted to keep your weight?" Conan asked.

"I'm not totally healthy right now, but that's another topic. I mean about being here. In Japan. Inside some demented kid's head. I've been literally dreaming this stuff for almost a month and a half; now I find out I'm 60 pounds heavier in my sleep!"

"Curtis, it's been two months since you've appeared," Phibrizzo hissed. "What do you mean?"

Inuyasha glared at his chamber's speaker. "Yeah. What are you talking about over there? Don't tell me that 'watch' of yours stopped or something."

"Well, either time passes differently, or I'm here longer on some days than I am on others," Curtis said. "Remember: whenever I disappear, it's when I wake up at home. I'm in here anywhere from six to 36 hours; but the more time I spend here, the less I remember when I wake up. All the professionals' knowledge about dreams, REM sleep, and that sort of stuff doesn't apply here. It's as if I pop in here as soon as I go to sleep at night."

"Give me a break. You still don't know why you're here?" Phibrizzo said, almost forgetting to keep the volume down.

"Up until my arrival here, my life was normal," Curtis stated. "No special abilites, no hare-brained martial artists, no cold-fish scientists, no black-coated thugs, no mysterious captains, nothing. Suddenly I go to sleep one night and wake up in here. Now I find myself preparing for stuff while I'm awake, while actually doing the stuff while I'm asleep. Nothing fits. Weird things happen. There's nothing I can do about it."

After blinking a few times at the conversation's absurdity, Conan reminded himself that it was Phibrizzo he was referring to. When it came to him, anything normal tended to explode at the seams. "That explains things somewhat," Conan mused aloud. "Each time I hear you, you don't speak a word of Japanese. You're American, aren't you?"

The room was silent for a while. "This just confuses things even more," Curtis muttered. "You're speaking Japanese, right?"

Conan gave the picture to Phibrizzo. "Yes."

"Weird. From in here, I'm hearing you speak English. I don't get it."

Conan sweatdropped. "This is really getting confusing..."

Another period of silence. "Phibrizzo?"

"Yeah, Curtis?"

"I'm going to play 'Kirby's Adventure' for a bit," Curtis said, firing up his television via remote.

----

For a moment, Richard was sure he saw the ceiling vibrate. When the movement didn't repeat itself, he shook it off and returned to reading his newspaper.

----

Phibrizzo and Conan propped themselves back onto the table, their hair slightly disheveled. "Curtis..." Phibrizzo growled. "That great big dramatic conversation, and you finish it with: 'I'm gonna play a stinking video game'!?"

"Do you want to think about this anymore?" Curtis snapped. "I'd rather do something I enjoy instead of worrying about how the laws of physics are being broken."

"Maybe we should get on to finishing our homework," Conan agreed, brushing some hair out of his eyes and straightening his glasses. "Well?"

Phibrizzo sighed. "Alright, fine." Putting the picture away, he got out his language book. "Let's get this over with."

-------

Time: Twenty minutes later

"Okay, that takes care of the history homework," Phibrizzo confirmed, shutting the book and setting it aside. "Now it's on to the language work. And for those listening, no. I don't need your help with this."

"Who are you talking about there?" Conan inquired, putting his own book aside and preparing himself to assist Phibrizzo. He knew this stuff already, anyhow.

"Inuyasha," Phibrizzo muttered. "I hate to say it, but he has a better grasp of the written language than I do. Why do they always have to assign so much work on a Friday, anyway?"

Conan shrugged as his friend got out his homework. "It's the downside of having a five-day school week. They want the kids to keep busy."

Curtis paused his game and slowly shuffled over to the microphone, switching it on. "Wait, hold on. There's something I don't get," he said. "I did some research on the elementary school system here in Japan. Back where I'm from, it's supposed to be a six-day school week at this time, and there's only one teacher throughout the day. At Teitan Elementary, it's a five-day week, and the days are divided into seperate class periods. Why is that?"

Conan shook his head and answered quietly. "It's like that everywhere now. This happened about two years ago, give or take. When Mrs. Valen became principal at the elementary school, she started complaining to the higher-uppers that the six-day weeks were hard on her, that she had enough trouble just making it to school on time each day; I didn't understand why she thought so until the incident at the museum a while ago. A bunch of other people, mainly educators, listened to her and latched on to the idea; they liked the thought of having an extra day to themselves. After a few weeks, the decision was made to reduce the school week from six days to five, on the condition that the teachers assign some extra schoolwork to cover the missing day. The change took effect the following term. You can imagine how surprised Rachel and Serena were when they found out."

"I should've known that Mrs. Giggles was behind the change," Phibrizzo muttered, double-checking his homework for mistakes and finding a handful. Frowning, he set them aside for later. "And what about the teaching schedule?"

"You remember Robin June, right?"

Phibrizzo looked up. "Miss Aisha's mom? Yeah. What about her?"

"Just something I heard about on the news...you heard her say that she does substitute teaching to support the family, right? One thing to keep in mind was that there was an influx of people studying to become teachers, but there wasn't anyplace to put them once they graduated. Finally, Robin talked to some officials about the possibility of extending the high school setup to the elementary schools. There was some debate on the subject, and finally they threw their hands in the air and said: 'What do we have to lose? Let's give it a test run.' That's how it got started. Some kids didn't like it at first, but others did. They said they got to meet more people that way. I heard on the news that they're considering keeping the setup permenantly, due to its popularity among kids."

"What's your opinion on it?" Phibrizzo asked.

Conan shrugged. "I kind of liked it better the old way. At least in that instance, we wouldn't have met Wanda Fitzgerald."

Phibrizzo smiled. "Natch. That girl's worse than Dolphin, sometimes."

Conan nodded. "I wouldn't know about that. So, what's Inuyasha seen recently? Any sign of...them?"

Surprisingly, Phibrizzo kept his smile. "You remember when I was here earlier in the month, and I said that there was an incident that I'd need to keep quiet about? I think it's high time I related it to you."

"An incident? What kind?"

"Well, I didn't want to talk to you about it at first. I didn't think you'd like the thought of it."

Alarms in Conan's mind went off. That's not a good sign. "What do you mean?"

"It's kind of complicated..."

"Quit smiling," Conan said, frowning. "If you guys have found out anything, I need to know!"

"Okay, fine," Phibrizzo decided, dropping the smile and setting his homework aside---since he had until 8:40 before he was supposed to go home, he'd still have time to finish it after he told the story. "You don't care much for dramatic tension, do you?"

Conan shook his head. "Not when it's my age on the line."

"Okay, okay." As Curtis went back to his game, Phibrizzo began the tale. "See, it took place late last month..."

---------------

Chapter Fifteen concluded. Chapter Sixteen soon to commence

Author's Notes

I know this chapter had mostly inconsequential information, but you'll never know; some of it may be important later on. I didn't really have much planned for it; I just wanted to fill in some holes and create a few new ones.

That segment at the end is going to be focused on in the next chapter: it's going to be all Inuyasha as Phibrizzo relates something that took place a month prior. I ain't saying what it's about; you'll just have to wait and see for yourself. Heh, heh.

Phibrizzo and I have differing viewpoints on the Nerima Wrecking Crew, just for the record.

Earlier, I had done some checking on the elementary school system in Japan. Before last month I hadn't known about the six-day system, so I wasn't sure how I was going to correct the previous chapters. Finally, I decided not to correct anything, and it resulted in the explanation mentioned above.

One thing I thought I'd bring up briefly. I know I never asked anyone to review the story, but it's been fifteen full chapters and over 100,000 words. I think it's high time I asked people: "Please read and review". I appreciate any suggestions you have, and I'll take constructive criticism as well (no flames, though; weather like this calls for a water bottle).

Now that that's said, let's move on.