InuYasha Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ *What* Insertion? ❯ Unorthodox ( Chapter 17 )

[ A - All Readers ]

WHAT* INSERTION?
by Curtis Wildcat


Chapter Seventeen, Part A ---- Unorthodox

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(Cue theme)

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Location: Cerulean Gym, Cerulean City
Time: 1:24pm, March 30, 1996

Ever since she was reunited with Phibrizzo, Dolphin had been keeping tabs on him.

The mazoku that had displayed an extreme hatred for humans was all but gone; if she understood it correctly, he was now half-human himself, and the hatred had been dimmed down to annoyance. A huge chunk of his power had been lost upon arrival on this world, which she now knew as Earth. His major goals---basically, destruction and chaos---had been foiled. Two actual people were sitting in what passed for his skull, and one of them gave every indication of being human. You couldn't get much lower than that. Freely associating with a human, and not showing any hatred of him or her, was taboo as far as all mazoku were concerned.

So, what does that say of me?

Dolphin still considered herself a mazoku, despite her mostly human form and the appearance of gills. Yet, here she was, spending most of her free time cooped up inside the Gym and living a human's life. Is it something about this world? I still feel powerful, but not in the way I was before...I've tried, time and time again, to live off of the human race's misery since I came here; but each time I start to, I feel as if there's a voice inside me, telling me that what I'm doing is wrong. The one time I ignored it and went ahead anyway, I started feeling extremely woozy...as if I was experiencing what humans call 'the dry heaves'. I've never felt that way before...it's very disquieting.

That being said, why am I no longer bothered by feelings of joy and happiness? What has happened to me? Have I become so dependent on Misty and Jetsam that I've set aside my wariness of the human race...or is it something else?

Well, I'll say this for humanity: whoever invented coffee must've been a genius. Maybe being a human has its good points, after all.

Dolphin sat in the stands, sipping from a cup of coffee. Down below, Misty was in the middle of a Pokémon battle against an acquaintance of hers from a neighboring region. Misty's Corsola was good, but the opposing trainer's Espeon was better. Within minutes, the battle was over.

Dolphin remained where she was, looking contemplative. Any minute now, Phibrizzo and Flareon would be returning from another intense training session. She'd tried trailing them several times to see what the sessions consisted of, but both times they heard her coming and abruptly sat down, staring into the sky until she left. After the second time, she just shrugged and stayed at the gym, watching over things or spending time with Jetsam and the others. If he wanted to keep Flareon's progress a secret, fine.

During her first few days here, it occured to her that if she was going to stay in the Kanto region for a while, she'd need to keep her skills in top condition. She'd learned that there was plenty of competition involving the Pokémon, so she'd decided to learn as much about them as possible. After going through several books and testing her newly-acquired knowledge with Jetsam and several other water-types that Misty permitted her to care for, she'd taken what she'd learned two steps further. In the process, she'd learned what some trainers go most of their lives without figuring out:

Be in sync with your Pokémon. Think like it thinks. Adapt your skills to those of the opponent's.

This was the edge Dolphin maintained in a Pokémon battle.

And if Phibrizzo discovers that same edge, good.

"Excuse me? Lauren, could you get down here, please?"

Dolphin smiled and set her coffee aside as Misty's voice brought her out of her musings. Pushing off the chair in front of her, she flipped through the air and landed gracefully on the tiled floor bordering the pool, eliciting an amazed cry from Misty's acquaintance. Not having her notepad on her, she instead signed: 'What is it?'

"After I say good-bye to Emily, I'm going to run by the store and pick up a few things. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

Dolphin thought for a moment, then signed: 'Everything's fine.'

Misty accepted it. Turning to the trainer she'd battled earlier, she presented her with a freshly-made Cascade Badge and led her out of the building.

Dolphin, though, turned away and strolled along the edge of the pool. Manuevering the diving board back into its normal spot, she clambered up to the top and walked across the board. As she neared the edge, she stretched across the length of the board and stared out across the room. It was an odd habit, but it was her means of unwinding.

Let me see...there's another water show scheduled two weeks down the line. It should hold us over until the officials at that Indigo Plateau place get around to reading that letter we sent. There'll be time to practice some new tricks and arrange for an exhibition match later...

I'd always wondered what boredom felt like. Now that I'm experiencing it, I hate it. She yelled
silently: Do you hear me!? I hate you, boredom! You've got something funny to say!? Say it to my face!

"Hey, Dolphin. Looking vacant again?" Phibrizzo's voice asked her from the stands.

Dolphin's eyes flicked in his direction before staring out again. On second thought, boredom, stay as long as you want! After a few seconds, she turned her head and shook it.

"Call it whatever you like," Phibrizzo said, just loud enough for her to hear. Picking up his voice, he continued: "Sunburst and I are just about done for now; I'll be back again tomorrow, same time. For now, I'm just going to hang around here until it's time for me to leave."

Dolphin didn't answer him, instead resting her chin on one arm and letting the other hand hang below the board.

"So, you want anything for lunch? Thought about grabbing a taco and spicing it up Phibrizzo-style...want to have one, too?"

Dolphin didn't answer him out loud. What do I look like...a fire-breather? After that experience, I'm just glad that I still have my sense of taste...and that the cold water nozzle in the bathtub still worked after it was wound all the way!

Frowning, Phibrizzo removed his shoes and set them aside before ducking out of view. "I was at a sporting goods store recently," he was heard saying. "Someone I know there was able to give me some good deals on stuff."

I should've gone with Misty. Whether he's a true sibling or not, Phibby's still as annoying as one.

About a minute or so later, Dolphin heard the familiar snap-hiss that signalled Phibrizzo's teleportation...to a spot somewhere above her. She was able to scramble away in time just as Phibrizzo landed on the board and started to jump on it. Glancing once at him, just long enough to see the lime green-banded black swimshorts he'd donned, the mazoku/superhuman started backing towards the steps.

"I'm thinking about warping over to Nerima tomorrow after our next training session," Phibrizzo was saying as he repeatedly jumped on the board, each jump taking him closer to the ceiling. "There's a group of wackos over there that I visit."

Dolphin paused.

"Misguided martial artists, insane rich people, crossdressers...the works," Phibrizzo continued. "Unless you have a high tolerance for 'weird', you won't last long there."

After a few seconds, Dolphin went down the steps and walked over to the stands, seeking out her coffee.

"You're welcome to come along, if you want," Phibrizzo called as she climbed into the stands. "Just make sure you're coated in pepper spray before you teleport in. And keep your Vaporeon at home."

Right when he finished speaking, Phibrizzo made one more jump that propelled him towards the ceiling. Reaching up with one hand, his fingertips were able to brush the ceiling before gravity sent him plunging into the pool, splashing water everywhere.

Dolphin shrugged, then gazed into her coffee cup---and froze.

The cup was empty.

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Location: Nerima district, Furinkan High School's roof
Time: Morning, two days later

Clad once more in her normal performance outfit and equipped with a small duffel bag stock-full of supplies, Dolphin teleported from Cerulean City onto Furinkan's roof. Having asked for a few photos of the area from Phibrizzo, she'd zeroed in on what seemed a safe place to appear.

Dolphin gazed out over the edge of the building she'd appeared on. Down below, a man armed with a wooden sword was regaling two girls---one with striking red hair---with a long-winded speech. Deciding that it was time to go, she jumped off the roof and descended straight down, landing lightly with her usual grace behind the raving man. He didn't seem to have noticed.

The two girls, however, did. "Ranma, who is that?" one of the girls asked.

Dolphin walked past, not giving the man a second look. From the sound of things, though, he was immediately enraptured. The man stuttered for a few seconds, then started going on about such things as grace, form, and someone called "Triton's daughter". Dolphin shook her head. Phibrizzo wasn't kidding.

Hearing someone run towards her---most likely the lunatic---Dolphin reached into her bag and pulled out a magic marker. Before the man could catch her, she pivoted on one foot and did a complete 360, bringing her behind the man as she dodged out of the way. As the man's head turned, she unscrewed the marker's cap and started scribbling on his face. Dumbfounded, the two spectators---plus who knows how many more were watching from the windows---could do nothing but watch.

Fifteen seconds later, having finished what she wanted to write, Dolphin put the marker back in her bag and continued on her way. Just before she exited the grounds she stopped, reconsidered, and entered the school instead.

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On the outside, Nabiki was as calm as could be. On the inside, she was as surprised as everyone else. Looks like Nerima's gotten itself another oddball. Who is she?

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Ranma swallowed, a bit unnerved by what the long-haired woman had just done. Man, talk about grace under fire!

"That was awesome," Akane murmured. "She acted like nothing was happening!"

The two of them turned away from the gate to see Kuno's reaction. The kendoist was staring towards the school doors, the marks on his face not yet registering in his mind. "Like rushing water she appears, and like a mist she drifts away," he intoned. "Marvelous..."

He was still there when Akane and Ranma edged past him into the school. It wasn't until the bell rang that it occured to him that he shouldn't be standing out here.

And it wasn't until he next saw his reflection that he discovered what the woman had written on his face: "Out of order".

Not that it mattered to him or anything.

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In the principal's office, Dolphin glared at the second nut she'd seen in the past five minutes. She deliberately ignored the pineapples, coconuts, and paper-mache palm trees scattered around. 'I want to sit in on one of your classes. What part of "sit in" do you not understand---the "sit", or the "in"?'

"Da big kahuna wasn't expecting any visitors today," Principal Kuno told her. "Rules are rules. No sitting around da building without a prior appointment, wahine."

Dolphin watched the palm tree on the man's head as she answered: 'It's only for the morning, and besides, it's not like I'll be disturbing anything. From what I've heard, this place is disturbing enough.'

"Hmmm...if da pretty wahine follows one condition," the principal said, taking one of the pineapples on the desk and handing it to her. "Keep dis with you at all times. It's proof of my permission!"

Dolphin tried not to blink, but was unsuccessful. And people think I'm weird. Not bothering to write a response, she pocketed the notepad and pen before taking the pineapple.

"I have one more thing to ask you...it's a memento of your visit to Furinkan!" Principal Kuno said, getting her attention. From out of nowhere, he grabbed a pair of clippers and a giant comb, lunging over the desk. "Long-lasting haircut! Only the best!"

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Dolphin walked out of the office a minute later, fuming silently. In her left arm was the 'permission pineapple'. Her ponytailed hair, which nearly brushed the floor, was left untouched. With each step she took away from the office, some hair came off her shoes: hair that was previously on the principal's head. He should be thankful I left that decal on his head behind! That miserable macademy nut, or whatever it is you call them! Say, I'd probably be a good barber...

But that's a thought for another time. Which class should I sit in on?

As if I didn't already know...

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Miss Hinako was just finishing attendance when someone knocked at the door. Mentally sighing, she jumped off her chair and went over to answer the door.

Ranma perked up when he saw who it was, and Akane leaned forward curiously. "It's that strange woman from earlier," the third Tendo child remarked aloud.

Hinako gazed up at Dolphin, who towered over her by several feet easily. The woman seemed a little ill at ease, but got over it quickly when she saw the teacher. Arching an eyebrow as she entered, she got out her notepad, balanced the pineapple on her head, and wrote: 'You're the teacher? I was expecting someone...taller.'

Ukyo tried to see what Dolphin was writing. "What's she saying?"

"Are you a new student here?" Hinako asked. "You look---"

Dolphin slashed the air with her hand, then wrote another message. 'I dare you to finish that sentence.'

Ukyo spoke up. "Excuse me, miss, but if you're going to write something, could you at least use the board?"

"And what's with the pineapple?" Ranma asked. "Are you related to the principal or something?"

Before Akane could object to his straightforwardness, Dolphin's shoulders shook with quiet laughter. Putting the notepad away, she began scribbling a message on the board. As she did this, Hinako stood back on her chair in order to read it better:

"'My name's Lauren Aqua, but you can call me Dolphin. I'm in Nerima on my day off, and I decided to sit in on your morning classes before I left to see the sights. As for the pineapple, apparently your principal has never heard of "permission slips"...anyway, if you have any questions, speak up now so that the teacher can get started'."

Dolphin put down the chalk and turned to face the class, glancing at each student questioningly.

Akane was the first to raise her hand, and Dolphin nodded her head towards her. "Miss Dolphin, how'd you sneak up on Kuno like that?"

"She snuck up on Master Kuno?" one of the students whispered.

Smiling, Dolphin teleported a few feet to her right, snatching the pineapple as it fell. She then threw the fruit across the room, then warped again in time to catch it. Finally she warped right outside the window, waited until everyone saw her, then waved and teleported back inside. Taking up the chalk again, she wrote: 'Does that answer your question?'

Some of the students blinked and muttered to themselves, but the class as a whole accepted her teleportation ability. They'd seen stranger things, after all. Personally, Ranma was rather uneasy with it, but he didn't let it bother him for long.

Before Dolphin placed the pineapple back on her head, she nodded at the student who'd whispered earlier and motioned for him to speak. "Why haven't you said anything out loud?"

She frowned; she'd expected that question and had been prepared for it, but it was starting to bug her. She wrote: 'Because I can't. I can't talk...not normally, anyway.' Almost immediately several faces softened, and her eyes narrowed a fraction. I don't think I'll ever get used to being pitied.

The third hand, surprisingly enough, belonged to Miss Hinako. "You're not here to encourage delinquent behavior, are you?"

Dolphin's frown was replaced by a wide, shut-eyed grin. 'I used to be insane. Now I'm just crazy.'

Several students facefaulted; everyone else sweatdropped. "That's not really what you're supposed to say," Akane stated, recovering.

'You people can't take a joke, can you?' Dolphin asked, this time smiling normally. 'I won't disrupt class or anything like that. Now, I think I've taken up enough time. Can I borrow one of your chairs?' she finished, taking a bite out of the pineapple she'd previously been storing on her cranium.

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As Dolphin found an empty desk and sat behind it, placing the pineapple and her duffel bag on the floor, different thoughts were running through everyone's heads.

Hinako was considering what she'd been told. She looks smart enough. Why's she in school? She'd better not cause any trouble. Oh, well. On with the class!

Ukyo was wondering at first if Dolphin had any sort of claim on Ranma, courtesy of Genma. After seeing the woman's total lack of interest, though, she guessed that maybe she was already married and that her reasons for coming to Furinkan were the truth. Why else would she ignore him unless she was already devoted to someone else?

Akane was hoping that Dolphin was only a visitor, as the woman claimed she was. The last thing I need is her on top of everyone else. She did say she used to be insane, after all. And why'd she grow her hair that long? I'll bet she's clumsy and hiding it.

Ranma's thoughts were along different lines...at first. That wasn't just speed; she was going too fast to be in and out of the school that quickly. How'd she do that? And that expression...it's like some sort of cross between Shampoo and Nabiki! That's a bad combination!

One minute into Hinako's lecture, the door was busted open. Kuno, his face free of writing, almost literally flew into the room. In one hand was a bokken; in the other, a rose bouquet. "Aqua-haired belle, surely Triton himself has granted me the privilege of witnessing your presence. The foul sorcerer Saotome could not have enslaved you, for the lord of oceans' power is vast, indeed!" He marched past the students, the bouquet held out in front of him. "Please, accept this token of my esteem!"

Dolphin calmly eyed the kendoist as everyone waited with baited breath. Finally, she smiled. Everyone who saw this---save Kuno, of course---felt shivers go up their spines. The worst villains in history could not have looked so sinister and maniacal as this aqua-themed woman; it looked like she had it down to an art form. If only they knew.

The moment was ruined when the neglected 'permission pineapple' (or the large chunk that was uneaten) suddenly detonated. The explosion blasted the desk into the wall, blew all the petals off the flowers, and turned everyone in the vicinity a dark, sooty shade of gray. The duffel bag it was sitting on somehow took only minor damage.

When the smoke started to clear, Kuno and Dolphin---who had taken the brunt of the explosion---were the most surprised. Dolphin was utterly flabbergasted, staring at the chunks of pineapple that were left. I had no idea fruit could explode like that! She gazed up at the class questioningly; her appearance and expression were so comical that some students couldn't help but chuckle.

"You got gipped," Ranma finally said, fighting to keep from laughing himself. "The principal likes to put bombs in those things."

"Are you okay?" Akane asked, being one of those who hadn't been mirthful.

Dolphin forced a nod, then stood and shook herself violently. All the soot that had gathered on her was thrown off. She looked up at Kuno, who was waiting for a response despite the fact that the flowers were ruined, and accepted the bouquet. Before the swordsman could react, though, a blast of water---similar in appearance to Jetsam's Water Gun---literally flowed out of the mazoku's right hand and washed him out the window. She kept up the stream for a few more seconds, washing some leftover soot from the damaged flowers.

The entire class---including the now-female Ranma---stared at her, agape. "How---how did you do that?" someone wanted to know.

Dolphin shrugged as she sat back down. That had actually been only the second time she'd used that ability since she moved in. She'd kept the water, teleportation, and floating skills under wraps for the most part; she only teleported when she wanted to get to Tokyo, and she'd only floated once (just a few minutes ago). She hadn't been about to let the world know that she was more dangerous than she looked; she instead learned to use her newfound strength, agility, and grace to their greatest effects. No need to freak out the populace with abilities that were normally attributed to Pokémon.

At least the bizarre is acceptable in Nerima.

As things gradually calmed down and everyone got over their surprise, Dolphin---no longer having a desk to sit at---sat back in her chair. Not having any real respect for romance and wishing she'd brought a snack from home, she instead began nibbling the flowers Kuno had given her.

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Time: That afternoon, after school
Location: Ukyo's restaurant

Ukyo diverted her attention from the grill long enough to note that Phibrizzo had just teleported on in. About on schedule, she thought. He usually comes here about twice a week. "Hello, Phibrizzo. The usual?" she called.

Phibrizzo shook his head. "I think I'll try the shrimp okonomiyaki this time. And a glass of water, please."

A few minutes later, Ukyo delivered his meal. "Here you go, sugar. Cooked to perfection, as always."

"Appreciate it. By the way," Phibrizzo asked, "has anything unusual happened recently...besides the norm, I mean?"

"Actually," Ukyo said, "something new has happened. This blue-haired woman showed up at Furinkan and sat in on our classes. I thought at first that she was after Ranma, but she completely ignored him. She later blasted Kuno out the window by shooting water out her hand."

Ukyo didn't like the look Phibrizzo gave her. "You're talking about Deep Sea Dolphin, aren't you?"

"Well, she did say to call her 'Dolphin', but I thought she said her real name was Lauren Aqua."

"It's Deep Sea Dolphin," Phibrizzo muttered. "She told me yesterday she wasn't going to go to Nerima. She must've changed her mind somewhere along the way."

"You're acting like you know this woman..."

"I do. She's my sister. She uses 'Lauren Aqua' as a stage name back where she lives." Phibrizzo took a bite of his meal, then spoke again after he'd swallowed it. "So, what kind of damage did she do?"

She's his sister, huh? I should've guessed. "Well, Kuno charged into the classroom a few times, and each time she made it clear she wasn't interested. As you can guess, the dope ignored her. The last time he barged on in, Miss Hinako drained his energy and let Dolphin toss him into the school's swimming pool. He didn't show up the rest of the morning, and your sister left at lunchtime. I haven't seen her since."

"Dolphin's always been one for mischief," Phibrizzo grumbled. "She has an odd sense of humor, like her namesake. If there's trouble, she'll either find it or be the cause of it. As soon as I'm done here, I'm gonna go to the Nekohanten and see if the Amazons have seen her at all." He added in a lower tone: "I told that walking fish to bring pepper spray..."

"Let me know how it turns out," Ukyo said dryly as she returned to her grill. No way that I'm getting involved in this. If those two really are siblings, I'd hate to see what they're like when they're under the same roof.

Hold on a second...'walking fish'?

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Time: Twenty minutes later

"Yes. Shampoo saw long-haired woman outside Tendo Dojo," Shampoo explained as she and Phibrizzo stood outside the Cat Cafe. "Thought woman was after airen, but wanted to see no-good Panda-man instead. Don't know what for, except for collecting on debt."

"Actually, this is the first time Dolphin's ever met Genma," Phibrizzo said just loud enough for Shampoo to hear. "I don't think she's here to collect anything from him. Anyhow, you didn't try to attack her, did you?"

Shampoo shook her head. "Woman no claim to airen. No obstacle to Shampoo. Is safe."

Phibrizzo nodded. "Right. Just so I have this right, Miss Shampoo, who did you mean by 'is safe'?"

"Not obvious to small boy?" Shampoo asked curiously, smiling a little. "Long-haired woman is safe. Much better not to fight."

"Yeah," Phibrizzo agreed. "For your health, anyway."

Shampoo's smile faded. "Shampoo don't like what that means."

"You don't have to like it," Phibrizzo said, frowning. "Dolphin's no fighter---at least, not in the same sense that you and the others are---but she's much worse than an Amazon's worst nightmare."

"How so?"

"Let's see...how to explain this..." Phibrizzo tapped his foot against the ground for a few seconds before an explanation occurred to him. "Okay, I think I've got it. Imagine a large housecat with claws and teeth. It's sure of itself and is able to defend its territory. With me on this?"

Shampoo nodded. "Go on."

"Okay. Imagine that this housecat meets up with a large fish. It's been a few hours since its last meal, so it decides to go for it. A few problems, though. One: this fish can walk on land. Two: this fish has the playfulness and intelligence of a dolphin, the bite of a barracuda, and all the ferocity of some cornered piranha...and that's if it's had a good day. On a bad day, the cat'll scamper indoors and hide in a blanket until dinnertime. You see what I'm getting at?"

Shampoo pondered this for a few seconds. "Dolphin more dangerous than she appears. Doesn't practice fighting, but retaliates in other ways...much like mercenary girl."

"Minus the reference to Nabiki, that's close enough," Phibrizzo said after a moment's thought. "Trust me. When she's truly angry, she'll let you know in every way possible."

A line of subsequent thoughts ran through Shampoo's head. So, Dolphin---if that's the woman's name---is no fighter. That means if any of us try to attack her if they feel slighted somehow, she's liable to call the authorities instead of settling it herself. But if I heard Phibrizzo right, there's more to Dolphin than meets the eye. Maybe great-grandmother would like to meet this woman.

Phibrizzo, not getting a reaction out of the Amazon, shrugged and waved good-bye. "Later, Shampoo." Stretching his arms and grabbing a nearby roof, he pulled his feet off the ground and Gum Gum Rocketed down the street.

A few minutes later, after handing out a few more orders of ramen, Shampoo grabbed her bicycle---already prepared with some food for her 'airen' should he turn up---and began pedalling at full steam towards the Tendo dojo.

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Location: Tendo dojo

"You mean she's just been sitting there for the past hour?" Akane asked, disbelieving as she looked outside.

Kasumi nodded. "She listened and communicated with Ranma's father for a while, then went out to watch the koi. She hasn't even twitched."

Akane knew what she meant by 'communicated', having learned of Dolphin's verbal infirmity first-hand. She was a bit surprised to find that the woman had no interest in Ranma, but she wasn't complaining.

Nabiki folded her arms. "So, she just came by to see Genma...and then, without getting angry at him or anything, she just goes out and watches the fish. I was right; Nerima's gotten itself another oddball. What did she want to talk to Genma for?"

"She didn't say," Kasumi said, smiling.

Akane sweatdropped. "Kasumi..."

"What I mean to say is that she didn't let us know. She had me leave the room beforehand," Kasumi explained. "I overheard Mister Saotome say something about keeping a marker handy, but that was about it."

The room was silent for several moments as everyone harbored their own thoughts. "You realize, of course," Nabiki stated, "that if there's a woman anywhere on the property, there's bound to be a disaster."

"Oh, right," Akane growled venomously. "Him. Well, let's hope he doesn't show up."

"You shouldn't have said that," Nabiki deadpanned, pointing out the window.

The three of them saw Happosai bounding towards Dolphin like a caffeinated cricket. It was too late, of course, to do anything about it; but as they rushed towards the door, they could at least see how the aqua-haired woman responded to Nerima's greatest danger---

CRASH!

A tremendous cloud of dust and dirt exploded from where Happosai had been, blowing past the Tendo sisters as they ran outside. Shielding their faces from the dust, they heard a familiar voice...

"Ha-ha-ha-ha...ha-ha-ha...ka-boom! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

As a brief breeze blew the grit away, the trio saw a familiar shape propped up on his elbows...laughing like he'd just heard the world's funniest joke. Beneath him was Happosai, temporarily knocked cuckoo by the figure's arrival method.

Nabiki shook her head. "Phibrizzo, you probably couldn't have picked a better time to drop in."

Phibrizzo grinned, brushing himself off. "I guess I rocketed a little too high back there. Oh, well." His grin dropped to a calm smile. "So, have you seen my sister anywhere?"

"Sister?" the Tendo sisters asked in unison.

"Yeah. She has ponytailed blue hair that she trips over whenever she lets it loose. That should identify her by itself."

"That woman," Akane almost shouted, "is your sister?"

"Yes," Phibrizzo said uncertainly. "What's the fuss about..." He paused for a few seconds before asking: "And what's that I'm sitting on?" He looked down, finally noticing that he'd landed directly on top of Happosai. "Oh. It's you. Well, whatever it is, you probably deserved it."

During the explosion and the conversation, Dolphin still hadn't moved. Finally deciding to make herself known, she strolled on over...and sat down on Phibrizzo's stomach before he could get up. This had the added effect of pushing Happosai into the ground.

Phibrizzo grunted and strained a little bit. "I was looking around for you," he complained. "You told me you weren't going to come to Nerima!"

Pondering for a moment, Dolphin reached into her hair and pulled out a sign that read: 'I changed my mind'. Phibrizzo's mouth dropped open when he saw this. "Terrific. You'll imprint upon anyone, won't you? You've been taking lessons from Genma, haven't you? That's not a good sign!"

"Phibrizzo," Nabiki said, stopping what could've dissolved into an argument, "in case you forgot, you're sitting on top of a lech."

Remembering who he'd landed on, Phibrizzo's next complaint died on his lips. Instead, he offered Dolphin a smile. "On second thought, sit as long as you'd like! So, uh...I didn't know you had a subspace pocket in your hair."

'There's a lot of things you don't know about me,' Dolphin said, then flipped the sign around. 'For that matter, what's this about a lech?'

Phibrizzo hissed something that the Tendos couldn't hear, although they guessed that he was telling Dolphin about Happosai. To their surprise, the woman remained composed...mostly. The only sign that she was ticked off was the ocean-blue glow that surrounded her. 'I see...anything else?'

"No. Why?"

'Because he's about to take an unscheduled vacation.'

Dolphin put the sign away, touched Happosai's head, and teleported out. Phibrizzo pushed himself onto his feet, brushing off some of the dust that lingered on his clothes...and then a sudden weight on his head almost made him topple. "Dolphin," Phibrizzo growled, glaring upwards, "get off my head."

Akane and the others stared in wonder. What weren't those two capable of? "If they think that's normal," Nabiki commented out loud, "maybe we should be thankful that Ranma's not any worse."

"Dolphin, I said get off!" Phibrizzo shouted, patience running low.

His only response was a quiet 'tsk-tsk-tsk', one of the few noises Dolphin was capable of making in her present state. Incensed, Phibrizzo's body started glowing violet as his temperature skyrocketed.

Dolphin was forced to jump off to keep the heat from burning clear through her shoes. She glared at her brother, outwardly calm but inwardly seething for several reasons (having learned of Happosai, she'd fought hard to keep her fury under control). She pulled out another sign. 'You know, brother, despite the battles you've fought against those Team Rocket people...' She paused to flip the sign over. '...it still isn't entirely clear what you've become. Judging from recent behavior...' She flipped the sign again. '...I'd say you're getting soft.'

"Me? Soft?" Phibrizzo scoffed, his temperature decreasing. "You're the one who sleeps on top of a diving board when there's nothing going on. Don't accuse me of doing stuff when you're not any better."

Flip. 'It's not an accusation. It's the truth. Don't confuse the two.'

"Hmph." Phibrizzo's stare didn't waver, and he seemed to have forgotten that there were others watching him. "Tell me something, and tell me honestly. Do you enjoy it when people around you get depressed, angry, or both?"

Dolphin didn't respond.

"I don't know about you, but simmering in a pot of my own depression just doesn't cut it for me anymore. There are people out there that care about me. I don't know yet how I feel about them, but until I come to grips with this, I can't let anything push me off course. Ever since I came to Tokyo, I felt as if a string's been cut. It took a little while, but I feel as if I can let old issues and grudges fade into the background, and focus on the here and now. If you're here, I know the same thing's happened to you!"

Dolphin remained where she was, staring into her brother's eyes. Finally, she flipped the sign around again. 'I was right...you have gotten soft. In the past, you would never...' Another flip. '...even consider such a subject. Your time here is turning your...' '...own thoughts against you.'

"If that's true," Phibrizzo challenged, "why am I still here? Why am I standing here, the picture of the excellent physical and mental health---if you count out Curtis and Inuyasha---and totally unaffected by positive emotions? I'll ask you again: do you take pleasure in others' anger?"

Again, Dolphin didn't respond, instead putting the sign away.

"...Four, five...six. She flipped that same sign around six times!" Akane murmured, amazed. "She must've taken what Genma told her seriously."

Nabiki was more concerned with what Phibrizzo and Dolphin were arguing about. If she guessed correctly, the two siblings had an immense disliking for other people in the past. What she didn't get was why Phibrizzo would start changing his ways after coming to Tokyo, as opposed to anyplace else.

The middle Tendo sister glanced momentarily at Kasumi. Despite her innate cheer and helpfulness, it was hard to tell what the eldest sibling was thinking sometimes. If I had to guess, she's probably hoping that they settle this discussion peacefully. Judging from these two, I don't blame her.

-------

Dolphin was a master at hiding her true emotions, being able to conceal even the most extreme feelings behind a silent poker face. Externally, she was looking at Phibrizzo passively. On the inside, a torrent of anger at her brother's insinuations was raging. He's calling me soft! Me! I almost feel like decking him so that he could see how soft I really am!

Wait...'almost'? Shouldn't that be 'definitely'? I know how angry I'm getting...but my thoughts aren't cooperating with me! My life here is messing me up!

"You haven't answered my question, Dolphin," Phibrizzo said, tapping his foot impatiently.

Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes, you little flaming housefly! What proof is there that humanity's worth anything? My beliefs haven't changed a bit!

And yet why...why...

Why do I feel so frustrated? Why do I keep from answering his question?

Crash!

"Nihao small boy, fish woman!"

The entire group, excluding Kasumi, collapsed. Upon pulling her face from the ground, Dolphin groaned mentally. And why can't I have any dramatic moments around here? I'd even settle for one of those segues!

-------------


Phibrizzo recovered from Shampoo's arrival first, brushing some dirt off his face. He should've expected her to show up, in retrospect. "It never fails," he commented dryly, seeing the latest entrance created by her arrival. "Where there's a Tendo Dojo, there's an Amazon." He turned to the Tendos, two of whom were still face-planted. "Which reminds me: where's Ranma?"

Akane's fists tightened at his name.

"In traction at Doctor Tofu's? Figures. Thanks," Phibrizzo said, turning towards Shampoo. Behind him, Akane and Nabiki finally got up. "If you came for Ranma, you're checking the wrong place."

Shampoo shook her head as Dolphin pushed herself up. "Shampoo not come for airen. Shampoo want to see fish woman."

Dolphin had a sign ready. 'They're mammals, not fish.'

"Yes," Shampoo said, "but 'fish woman' more catchy."

Dolphin closed her eyes for a few moments, exhaled, and shrugged helplessly. 'Fine. So, what did you want to see the 'fish woman' about'?'

As the two conversed, Phibrizzo edged over to the Tendos. "I don't get it," he whispered to them. "When did she have time to make all those signs? And for that matter, how'd she know that she would need to make them?"

Nabiki shrugged. "Where does Ryoga keep all those bandannas?"

"Why does something stupid always happen at the most inconvenient time?" Akane asked.

Kasumi thought for a moment before saying: "Where does father keep all his tears?"

Phibrizzo's mind worked for a few seconds before summing it up: "In Nerima, things happen because...they just do. There's no logic to life, and even the laws of gravity are broken." He slapped his forehead. "I think Dolphin's figured that out today. I've been trying to avoid partaking in any of this craziness, but to her it's like candy. She's had some, and she won't quit eating."

"And why haven't you gotten caught up in any of this?" Akane asked him suspiciously. "You seem to attract trouble on your own."

"That's exactly why I don't want to get involved with the stuff that goes on here." Phibrizzo shuffled his feet, staring at the ground. "We've got several bizarre love triangles, Ranma at the center of a square...if you needed a pentagon or hexagon, you could probably find it somewhere in there. You've got a duck with glasses, a minotaur with tentacles, a cat with conditioning, and a panda with...well, I don't know what Genma has, but whatever it is, he has it. Fights, duels, and brawls are considered the norm. The slightest mistake in a casual conversation, and you're out for a week...not the way I want to live." He sighed. "I've already made a few enemies. I have no desire to add to them. I have a high tolerance for 'weird', but even I have limits."

As Phibrizzo finished, Dolphin and Shampoo were wrapping up their own conversation. The former was smirking a little, which wasn't good. 'Listen up, firebrat. The kitten here wants to see what I'm capable of, so...' A brief pause, and then a flip of the sign later: 'I'm gonna pop back home and grab Sunburst and Jetsam. It's...' Another flip. '...high-time you and I had a Pokémon battle.'

As the Tendos looked on, curious, Phibrizzo's mouth dropped in disbelief. "Here? Now?"

Dolphin smiled innocently.

Phibrizzo fumed silently for a few moments, then snapped: "Look, bait breath, do I look like I'm on your level? Forget about it!"

'I don't care whether you're a slow-witted rookie or one of the Elite Four...' Flip. '...squirt. We're battling, and that's that.'

"Not even if you paid me, squid brains."

'Too bad, lava guts. I'm getting them anyway.'

"Who are you calling 'lava guts', you giant clownfish!?"

'You, dummy.'

Phibrizzo's fists clenched. "You know, I bet if someone put a stethoscope up to your head, they'd hear the ocean."

'A stetho-what?'

"Ha! Exactly! You've got water between your ears---no brains at all!"

'So says the kid who's backing out of a challenge.'

"I don't have time for this," Phibrizzo growled. "I'm outta---" His eyes widened. "Curtis, don't you dare! Stay out of there---"

Phibrizzo never completed his sentence, his eyes squeezing shut. In a flash his hair turned brown, and his stomach expanded a little. After several seconds, he recovered. "Okay, that's quite enough," he said, his tone a tinge deeper. "Both of you."

"Nihao, Curtis," Shampoo greeted him, waving.

"That's Curtis?" Nabiki asked. "I'd expected someone a little taller...and older. Didn't he say once that he was in college?"

"As long as he doesn't try anything," Akane stated, waving at Curtis, "he can stick around all day for all I care."

"Nice to meet you, Curtis," Kasumi greeted him.

Curtis waved back. "Hello to you too, Shampoo, everyone. And just for the record, Akane, I hate perversion almost as much as you. So don't worry about it." He returned his attention to Dolphin, whose eyebrow was arched at his appearance. "And you can quit your Spock impression, Dolphin. Phibrizzo's not in the mood to battle, but I am."

'You're one of Phibrizzo's split personalities, right?' Dolphin inquired. 'And who's Spock?'

"No way and forget about it," Curtis said, answering each question. "Go on and warp back to Cerulean. I'd like a shot at this if he doesn't."

'You're not him,' Dolphin answered. 'I'd like to see how my brother measures up, not you.'

"Whether Phibrizzo uses him to battle or not, you'll be seeing the fruits of his labor either way," Curtis replied. "Flareon knows me enough to trust me. So, how about it? If you're not going to head over there, I will. After all, Misty hasn't seen me before; how would she feel if a complete stranger walked into the gym and asked to burrow Vaporeon?"

Dolphin's eyes narrowed. 'Don't push me too far.'

"Deal with it," Curtis said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Until that battle's over with, I'm not switching back. Phibrizzo deserves a little cooldown time now and again, or else his temper would boil over. You know it. I know it. Phibrizzo know it."

The air was dead silent for several minutes as the two glared at each other. In the meantime, Curtis took a sandwich out of his pocket and started munching on it. "You know," he said in-between bites, "we have a few choices. We can stand here all afternoon and make funny faces at each other; you can retrieve Flareon and Jetsam so we can get this party started; or you can say that there's nothing to be gained from battling so early, and forget the whole thing."

Dolphin's glare hardened as she went over the facts in her head. After about half a minute, she made her decision. 'Do I have your word that I'll be able to battle him at a later date?'

"I don't make promises I can't keep," Curtis stated around a mouthful of sandwich. "And in this case, I do promise. At some point in the next few months, you'll be able to battle him. My personal guarantee."

Smiling, Dolphin disappeared with a snap-hiss.

--------

Curtis turned away from where Dolphin had been standing, smiling. Well, this should be fun.

"If I was able to move my arms," Phibrizzo growled from the liquid pillar, "you wouldn't be saying that right now. Why do you keep doing that?"

Before Curtis could answer, someone placed a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Nabiki standing behind him. "Alright. Now, could someone explain exactly what that was about? Who's Jetsam and Sunburst? Friends of yours?"

"In a manner of speaking," Curtis said. "Akane, you've seen what Dolphin's capable of, right?"

Akane nodded. "If you're talking about how she shot water from her hand, then yes."

"And you've heard what Phibrizzo can do, right?"

Akane considered this for a few moments. "I think I see what you're getting at. You mean Jetsam and Sunburst, whoever they are, can do the same things they can?"

"As far as water and fire goes, yes. They may look cute, but appearances aren't everything...hmmm, just like Phibrizzo."

Curtis could hear Inuyasha chortling from his usual resting spot. Phibrizzo mumbled for a few seconds, then abruptly silenced himself, looking pensive. Curtis was sure he heard a quiet snicker from Shampoo's direction, but it didn't last long. "Anyway, when the action starts, stand back. This is fight you don't want to get caught up in."

"If it's everything you say it is," Nabiki suggested, "then maybe you should take it out to the streets...or even better, the grounds of Furinkan High. We can keep property damage to a minimum this way."

"Good idea," Curtis said, nodding.

-------

As everyone---except Kasumi, who was asked to leave a message for Dolphin when she returned---headed back towards Furinkan High, Phibrizzo's thoughts occupied his time. For Curtis to insist on battling, he must have confidence in Sunburst's abilities. I can believe that; with all those things from his homeworld, he has an advantage over someone who never even suspected that such creatures existed.

There's still the matter of weaknesses, though. Naturally, water extinguishes fire. But still, if Flareon was able to win against Richie's Rhydon, despite the odds being against him...

Phibrizzo's eyes lit up with determination. If Sunburst's recent training pulls through, I think I can surprise her.

-------

"Curtis? Let me out."

Curtis's eyes widened just a little as he heard his host speak. Phibrizzo only used that tone when he was set on doing something important; no trace of his usual childishness existed. "You're sure? Just a few minutes ago, you were complaining your head off about not wanting to battle."

As the others listened in on Curtis's side of the conversation, Phibrizzo answered him. "A few minutes ago, I didn't think a win was possible. But if someone like you can be so sure of a win despite the odds, then what am I thinking by being so adamant?"

Curtis smiled. "You still don't like me, do you?"

"I tolerate you," Phibrizzo said, smirking. "That doesn't mean I have to like you. The same goes for Inuyasha."

"I must be moving up," Inuyasha drawled, still sitting calmly. "A month ago, you wouldn't give me the time of day."

Curtis just shrugged. "At least it's better than full-blown revulsion," he muttered as he relinquished control.

As Phibrizzo faded from the pillar and reassumed control, Inuyasha glanced at Curtis briefly before returning his attention to the outside world. "And you're alright with this?"

"As long as he keeps a level head, yes," Curtis said, ambling towards the exit. "But ultimately it's his choice to make. And personally, I agree with Dolphin. I'd like to see how he measures up, too."

------

Half-concerned that having Shampoo and Akane in close proximity of each other would be disastrous, Nabiki had kept her eye on them both as the traversed the distance between the dojo and the school. Thankfully, neither of them seemed inclined to start fighting over Ranma...particularly since he'd put his foot in his mouth that afternoon and ultimately wound up at Dr. Tofu's clinic. Oddly enough, Shampoo's gaze was riveted on Curtis...and then Phibrizzo, as the boy's hair and weight returned to normal. Nabiki wondered what exactly was going through her mind.

Akane was curious about the battle that Curtis and Dolphin talked about, and was looking forward to it. She didn't know much about it, but she guessed it was a popular thing back wherever it was that Dolphin lived. She never did say where she was from. How come?

Shampoo was wondering whether or not it might be prudent, as an Amazon, to form an alliance with Phibrizzo (and the others by proxy). Not only did interesting things happen while he was around, but he had some amazing abilities as well. About the only thing that needed fixing was his attitude.

Phibrizzo was eating the sandwich that was still in his hand. Mmm...bologna with mayonnaise.

------

Time: Ten minutes later

Dolphin warped back to the Tendo Dojo, having obtained what she needed to get. Okay, that chubby little kid better be ready---hey, where'd he go? She took in the surrounding area, finally spotting Kasumi near the door. Thinking for a moment, she held up a sign. 'Did you see Phibrizzo and the others anyplace?'

"They went over to the high school, Miss Aqua," Kasumi replied. "They didn't want any extra damage being done, beyond what's already there."

'That crazy swordsman won't be around, will he?'

Kasumi smiled. "Who knows?"

Secretly dreading another chance encounter with the delusional Kuno---not that they weren't all delusional---Dolphin threw her hands in the air in disbelief before warping over to the school grounds.

Upon her arrival, the mazoku took in her surroundings. The two Tendo sisters were standing off to one side near the school itself, while Shampoo was standing near the gate...as far away from each other as they could get. Phibrizzo was waiting between them...not Curtis, she noticed. 'Change your mind, brother? How come?'

"I don't need to explain to the likes of you," Phibrizzo said quietly, his irises a bright green.

Dolphin smirked. 'Confidence issues, huh?'

"Put that sign away before I snap it in half," was the huffy response Phibrizzo gave. "Just get them out and let's go for it."

Dolphin nodded, then reached into subspace and pulled out the two Poké Balls that had been stored there. Without activating it, she tossed one of them to Phibrizzo before pulling out another sign. 'Let's get down to business. Are you ready?'

"As I ever will be," Phibrizzo said, the fires of determination evident in his eyes. "Let's do this! Go---"

"Phibrizzo? Who are these people?" someone asked. "And where's my taxi?"

Dolphin turned, not recognizing the yellow-clad, umbrella-carrying woman who'd just walked out of the building and nearly startled Akane half to death. Phibrizzo knew who she was, though; she could see the sweatdrop as it rolled down his face. "Principal Valen," he groaned, "what are you doing in Nerima?"

'Valen' frowned. "This is Nerima? I thought I was in Beika...or at least I was a few minutes ago."

A mushroom-shaped breath escaped Phibrizzo's mouth as he sighed, annoyed. "Miss Principal...you forgot your compass, didn't you?"

Realizing this, the woman laughed; the sound of it set everyone's nerves on edge for a few seconds. Dolphin didn't understand why; sure, it was annoying, but it wasn't quite borderline irritating. "Guess I pulled a Ryoga," Phibrizzo's principal explained. "I finished at school just now and went out to signal a taxi, but I didn't get ten steps out before I realized I'd left my compass in my office. I went back to get it, and...well..." She laughed again, this time a twinge helplessly. "You know the rest of the story. So, how'd you get out here so quick?"

"Teleportation."

Valen's smile froze for a few seconds before fading. "I should've just guessed. Can someone take me back to Beika? Please? Just because I'm related to Ryoga doesn't mean I'm into globetrotting."

Phibrizzo's eyes narrowed. "Let's get this over with," he said, walking over to Valen and grabbing her wrist. There was a brief snap-hiss as the two vanished from sight.

"So he really does teleport," Akane told herself. "Must run in the family."

"Same goes for Ryoga and that woman," Nabiki said. "Must be hard to hold down a job with a trait like that."

Before Shampoo could make her own thoughts known, Phibrizzo popped back in. After taking a few seconds to steady himself---this had been his third teleport in as many minutes, the sandwich he'd eaten notwithstanding---he again took hold of Sunburst's Poké Ball. "One more time," he stated. "Let's get to it---"

"Hey," a voice growled. "Where's the old freak?"

Everyone turned to see Taro standing at the gate in his normal form. Phibrizzo muttered something inaudible before stating: "Happo-Psycho isn't here right now. My sister dropped him someplace." Realizing something, he turned to Dolphin and asked: "By the way, where did you drop him?"

Dolphin smiled.

"Well? What about it, Dolphin?"

A smirk.

"Come on, scales-for-skin. Spit it out."

The smirk widened into a grin.

Phibrizzo's eye twitched. "You think this is funny, don't you? Just say it! Where'd you leave the ancient freak?"

Dolphin couldn't contain it anymore. She bowed her head and began shaking violently, leading Akane and the others to wonder if she was having convulsions; their fears disappeared when they found out she was laughing. Inaudibly, yes, but laughing nonetheless.

Phibrizzo groaned and turned back to Taro, who was looking on with a mix of amusement and apprehension. "Sorry, Taro. The only one who knows isn't talking. Do you have a minute?"

"Maybe," Taro answered after thinking for several moments. "Just don't take too long, kid." He leaned against the wall and waited.

Phibrizzo marched over to the still-laughing Dolphin and tapped her shin with his foot. Narrowing his eyes when that didn't work, he grabbed Jetsam's Poké Ball, pulled her mouth open---cutting her off in mid-laugh---and somehow managed to cram the Poké Ball between her lips. "Shut up, already!" he growled. "I asked you a serious question, and all I wanted was an answer...not pantomimed hysterics!"

Glaring at Phibrizzo, Dolphin pulled out a sign. 'You need some serious help, brother. And as for your question...' She flipped the sign over as she turned to face Taro. 'I dropped him off in the ocean, somewhere...southeast of Tokyo, I think.' Flip. 'I'm not too clear on the direction, unfortunately.'

Taro shrugged. "Oh, well. That's still the best lead I've gotten all day," he said, turning to run down the street.

Shortly after Dolphin pulled out a sign that read: 'Not even a thank you, huh?', she whacked Phibrizzo across the schoolyard with it. She knew it wouldn't harm him due to his bizarre genetic makeup, but she felt she'd been rudely interrupted in the worst way.

Shampoo tensed somewhat, but calmed down when she saw that Phibrizzo pulled himself up without any trouble. "Weird family," she told herself. "Show sibling affection in odd ways."

Dolphin's sharp hearing overheard Shampoo's comment, but she didn't respond as she tried to force the Poké Ball out of her mouth. Finally succeeding, she rubbed the device with some anti-bacterial cleanser in an attempt to clean it off.

Phibrizzo prepared himself one more time. "Okay. Pokémon Battle, take three. And...actio---"

"Daughter of Triton, niece of Neptune, hear my voice! If the evil designs of Saotome should overcome thee, I shall---"

"Get lost! Gum Gum Stamp!" Phibrizzo shouted, kicking the persistent Tatewaki Kuno out of the schoolyard before he could get any further. Normally he didn't resort to such an action against Kuno, but he was getting sick of the delay.

As the unstable swordsman disappeared down the street, Nabiki looked on as Phibrizzo started hyperventilating. "Are...you okay?"

Apparently not, she decided a second later as Phibrizzo threw his head back and screamed: "Any more interruptions!?"

Dead silence. No birds or crickets chirped. Even the wind stopped. Phibrizzo calmed down and smiled. "Good. Without further ado..." With the touch of a button he released Sunburst, who came prepared to battle.

-----

Taking in Nabiki and Akane's disbelieving stares and ignoring Shampoo's interest, Dolphin released Jetsam from its confinement. 'Alright, Jetsam. It's showtime,' she spoke silently, smiling.

From the pitch of the Vaporeon's reply, Dolphin could tell that she was anxious to battle as much as Flareon was. 'I can tell you're all set. Now---'

Before Dolphin could give Jetsam her orders, Curtis's voice---emanating from where Phibrizzo was standing---interrupted her. "This exhibition match between Phibrizzo Kaden of Tokyo and Lauren Aqua/Deep Sea Dolphin of Cerulean City will now begin. There will be a time limit of six minutes. The victory will go to whichever Pokémon is still standing, or will be decided based on pre-determined criteria if time runs out. Are both trainers ready?"

"Who made you referee, pillowhead?" Phibrizzo said hotly. Dolphin rolled her eyes; he almost always reverted to form when under stress.

"Face it, Phibrizzo---aside from you and Dolphin, I'm the only one here with passable knowledge of Pokémon," Curtis answered, ignoring the insult. "Just let me look on and officiate. You won't even know I'm here until the match ends."

"I've known you were here for several months now," Phibrizzo growled, but otherwise let the matter go.

"Details. Anyhow, let the match begin!"

(BGM: Standard Pokémon battle music)

Not knowing where the music was coming from but not caring much either, Dolphin was quick to get the battle rolling. 'Test Flareon's defense, Jetsam. Water Gun.'

The Vaporeon complied with the order, essentially turning into a living fire hose as she got things under way. Smart enough not to stand in its path, Sunburst jumped out of the way...and let his trainer get drenched to whatever passed for bones.

Phibrizzo shook his face free of water and pushed some hair out of his eyes. "Mental note: when the battle starts, make sure your Pokémon isn't standing in front of you," he murmured before shouting: "Let's show her a few tricks! Quick Attack!"

Although Flareon's speed wasn't up to par with other Pokémon its size, it still resembled a blur as it scampered towards Jetsam in a zigzag pattern. Inwardly impressed but not showing it, Dolphin took full advantage of her "adjusted silence". 'Ice Beam. Freeze the ground solid.' Six minutes? This match will be over in two!

Without waiting for Sunburst to get any closer, Jetsam leaped into the air and blasted the ground with its Ice Beam attack. Almost immediately, a large section of the battlefield was flash-frozen, sending Flareon skidding into the school wall.

Akane winced. At the speed that thing was running, that had to have hurt.

Her worries were unfounded; Flareon was able to pull itself back to reality in just a few seconds. Akane didn't know this, but most Pokémon were made of some pretty stern stuff; they'd need to be in order to pull off some of the attacks they'd use.

"We can't let that ice stop us," Phibrizzo mused aloud. "Blaze Pogo!"

Racing back towards the ice, Sunburst fired a burst of flame straight at the ground. The resulting explosion and recoil launched him into the air, and he started spitting successive fireballs at the frozen ground to keep himself airborne. In mid-flight he directed one of the fireballs at Vaporeon, who effortlessly twisted out of the attack's path.

"A few more times, Sunburst!" Phibrizzo called. "Just wait for my signal!"

As the mid-air attacks continued and Jetsam continued to dodge, Dolphin's mind was busy working on a strategy. I see what he's planning...he's using his flames to melt the ice. Does he even realize that'll only help me? 'Let's go Surfing, now.'

Vaporeon's cry was almost a howl. Almost seeming to be a mirage, a huge wave of water formed around it from all the melted ice. It knew as well as Dolphin did that Sunburst couldn't stay airborne forever; and even if it could, its fire attacks would be worthless against Jetsam's arsenal---

"Go for it, Sunburst!" Phibrizzo cried out. "Shadow Ball!"

At approximately the same time that Jetsam released the wave, Flareon landed and switched attacks. Upon answering Vaporeon's yell with his own, a sphere of dark energy coalesced in front of his mouth and blasted its way forward. The orb went through the gigantic wave and struck Jetsam, and a brief explosion filled the air with dust and grit...whatever of it, that is, was untouched by Vaporeon's attack as it continued on its path.

When the dust cloud cleared and the water faded into the ground, a sopping-wet Sunburst was sprawled across the dirt. Drinking it was one thing; getting wiped out by it was something else. To Flareon, water was just as bad as any physical attack.

Across from the fire-type stood Vaporeon, panting heavily. Dolphin frowned; she'd had Jetsam participate in a few battles, but this had been the first time any serious damage had been done. She'd have to be more wary of surprises in the future, and concentrate on upping her friend's defense. Hmm...wasn't there this defensive move that her species specialized in? I'll need to look into that.

"The winner in two minutes: Deep Sea Dolphin!" Curtis's voice declared. Those that were watching applauded mildly; to them it was good enough to qualify as a battle, but not quite Nerima-caliber.

At least, not yet.

-----

Phibrizzo slowly nodded, lowering his head as he recalled Sunburst into his Poké Ball. All that confidence, for nothing. I should've known that Dolphin and Vaporeon were too much.

"Don't slap yourself too much," Inuyasha said. "The battle turned out pretty well, considering who you were up against."

"We can't always win," Curtis added. "If we were the best at everything, where would the challenge be?"

I suppose...but still... Phibrizzo remained silent as he trudged forward and handed Flareon's Poké Ball back to Dolphin, who recalled Jetsam as well. "You win this time, Dolphin."

As Shampoo and the others---still a little wound up from having witnessed a Pokémon battle for the first time in their lives---looked on, Dolphin stashed the two Pokémon in temporary subspace storage before bringing herself down to eye level. 'Trust me,' she said, deciding to use her notepad. 'You'll catch up eventually.'

Phibrizzo kept his gaze riveted on the ground a few seconds longer before looking at her. "Dolphin, tell me something," he said quietly; unnoticed, Nabiki took a few steps closer to hear the conversation. "You seem to have it off much better than me. Am I ever going to catch up to you?"

Dolphin smiled. 'That's for you to decide. If you want to defeat that Domino woman, the choice is clear.' She reached over and hugged him. Shame you can't hear me say this...I'm having problems believing it, myself...but you have my support, brother.

"Excuse me, Dolphin?" Phibrizzo asked---and immediately, Dolphin was put on edge. That wasn't Phibrizzo's usual tone of voice... "As much as I appreciate the hug, could you let me go?"

Dolphin noticed, out the corner of her eye, that one of the tufts of hair was brown---and immediately, she released him and backpedalled several feet, her angry eyes as wide as grapefruit. She whipped out a sign that read: 'Don't do that!'

"Sorry," Curtis said apologetically, "but there's a few things I need to talk to you about."

------

Shampoo wasn't sure what to think of the time she spent watching Dolphin and Phibrizzo hang around. By the time she was on her way back to the Nekohanten, she was wondering if they would be interested in a loose alliance. With some misgivings, though, she decided otherwise; any trouble that bothered the Amazons would have to go to them, and that wasn't good enough for her. It was something to keep in mind, though.

Nabiki had caught Phibrizzo's question to Dolphin, and that got her thinking about stuff. Despite putting up a decent challenge in that strange little battle, he seemed to have some problems with his self-confidence. An image of Ranma and Phibrizzo fighting each other passed through her head, and she fought to keep the smirk off her face; somehow, she couldn't imagine either of them getting ticked off enough to fight each other.

Wait...Phibrizzo can absorb energy, right? Maybe that one attack of Ranma's can help with his self-esteem a little...I guess it's worth remembering, if there's some way to profit off it. That is, assuming that I can profit off it.

As they walked back home, Nabiki noticed Akane's thoughtful expression. With Ranma, it's easy to tell how she feels. As far as Phibrizzo and Curtis go, though, it's not so simple. They're not out trying to find someone to hit on; they just enjoy the atmosphere, for the most part. Besides, Phibrizzo looks like the isolated, loner type. If anything, both Akane and Kasumi should be sympathetic towards him. Could that be why Akane forgave him so easily for his comments, back when those mutated rats were roaming around town?

---------

Before long, only Curtis and Dolphin remained in the schoolyard. After the Tendos and Shampoo were no longer in earshot, Curtis finally spoke. "I have a few questions for you, Dolphin. First off, why are you being so supportive of Phibrizzo? I thought you two didn't like each other."

Deciding not to use her newfound 'instant sign' ability, Dolphin went with her notepad instead. 'Where'd you get that idea? I mean...sure, he fed me food that was too spicy for me to handle, but that was only once.'

"Well," Curtis said, his right eyebrow arching a little, "if you really are Deep Sea Dolphin, servant of Ruby Eye Shabranigdu, I thought your relationship with him would be a bit more strained."

Dolphin almost dropped the notepad in shock. How...he...where did...what... Her handwriting became a bit more sloppy. 'Where'd you learn of that? Did Phibrizzo tell you!?'

"He didn't need to," Curtis told her. "Let's just say where I'm from, there's a lot of fiction about you people. You didn't answer my question."

As he spoke, Dolphin had to restrain herself from lashing out. Someone learned the secret that I've been trying to keep the last few months...! A lot of fiction...bah! 'So, are you saying it's wrong to support him?'

"I'm not saying that at all," said Curtis, double-checking to see if any leftover students were at the school windows. "In fact, I encourage it. It just strikes me as strange. I'd first thought you'd be on him like tartar sauce on a fish stick, back when you first learned he was living with a human family. You are a mazoku, after all, and mazoku aren't exactly known for their good relations with people."

The grip on Dolphin's pen tightened. 'You wouldn't understand. You don't know what it's like to live in an unfamiliar world...a place where everything is new, and you feel totally lost...'

"You and Phibrizzo aren't the only ones who're dimensionally misplaced," Curtis answered, "so I have a pretty good idea. For me, it's an escape from the realities of life. For you, it's free will. I actually got to speak with the Lord of Nightmares a few months ago..." He went on, ignoring Dolphin's 'landed Magikarp' impression. "...and she told me that when mazoku are seperated from their home reality, their connections there are severed; I figured out later that their purpose in life isn't as clear anymore. Before your bout with madness, you were battling it out with humans and dragons alike in order to reduce the world to dust. Now, since you've had plenty of good experiences with humans, you're at a bit of a crossroads. You don't know whether to return to the life you've led before, or find a new path to travel."

Dolphin's eyes narrowed. 'And you'd know this because...?'

"Phibrizzo's struggling to make that same decision. He just won't admit it."

Dolphin almost laughed. 'He is? The same little hellion who used to talk down his nose to everyone, deceive everyone around him with his childish acts, and destroy his enemies in a heartbeat is trying to come to grips with a new lifestyle? That's hysterical! I'll bet you've been a big influence on him, huh?'

Curtis shrugged. "If Inuyasha and I hadn't been there, Phibrizzo would've been wiped from reality while you would've been wallowing in gloom, despair, and agony for who knows how long. So, yeah; I'd say you both owe us. For that matter, you owe the Lord of Nightmares as well; she could've ignored me and let Phibrizzo die, but instead she dropped him---and us---into this universe. If I had to wager a guess from that timeline you gave us in February, you got here the same way."

For some reason, the nightmarish images and sensations that only she could see and feel left Dolphin with a sickening taste in her mouth. Even several months after she recovered, the emotional scars still hadn't faded; and secretly, she dreaded being trapped in the same state forever. She hated doing nothing; she couldn't even subsist on her own dark feelings. To a mazoku like her, that was the ultimate blow.

Sighing, she hung her head and continued scribbling half-heartedly. 'I should be going. I can't stand to talk to you anymore; it's making me ill.'

"I understand," Curtis told her quietly. "One thing before you go: if you want to keep Misty from finding out about this conversation, you may want to destroy the pages you were writing on."

'Just as well...this pad's almost used up, anyway.' Without any further words, Dolphin shouldered her duffel bag and teleported away.

------

"Congratulations," Phibrizzo grumbled from inside the liquid pillar. "Your talk is so bad, you've actually made a mazoku sick to its stomach. If that's not an insult, I don't know what is."

I tell it like it is, Phibrizzo. I don't like lying or shading the truth; you know that. Curtis thought about teleporting back home, but stopped before he could. You know, she never did answer my question.

"You mean we have to go through that again?" Phibrizzo snarled. "I've had enough of this for one day. I let you have your fun; now, just let me out so I can go home!"

"Stressed out, huh?" Inuyasha asked, a plate of food sitting next to him and some chopsticks in his hands. "Try taking a nap."

"Easy for you to say..."

As he was saying this, Phibrizzo felt himself regain control. Shaking his head and preparing himself for the energy loss the teleportation would incur, he warped back home. Right now he just wanted to rest and wait for dinner before doing his homework; this afternoon had been too much.

Great...I'm still soaked, too.

--------

Location: Cerulean City Gym
Time: Late that evening

Long past the time when she normally would've been asleep, Dolphin sat awake inside the gym's main room. From her perch on the diving board, she stared out the windows at the distant stars. Her conversations with Phibrizzo and Curtis had left her much to think about.

I never thought I'd be able to hold a civil conversation with a human and not have anything malicious to think about him. I guess this shows how far down I've fallen, if I'm willing to stoop that low.

Wait, hold on a second. Misty's human. Time and time again, I've wanted to thank her in some way for everything she's done for me since she found me here. She's helped me get acquainted with life in this world, whether she knows it or not. The thing is, she's everything I'm not. My race thinks of humans as nothing more than roaches, so why can't I bring myself to harbor any animosity? I'm Deep Sea Dolphin, one of Ruby Eye's five servants, and I can't even do something as simple as feel hatred! That miserable human friend of Phibrizzo's must be messing with my mind!

And yet I feel so...detached. Why am I here, seperated from my world? There's no explanation on hand---

Wait, hold on again. Those recollections of screaming, hearing nothing and seeing nothing but my own turmoil and images that wouldn't fade...and then...a wave of energy envelops me, reaching deep inside and soothing me. I'd never felt such a thing in my life. And then I noticed, for the first time since I lost my mind, that I was infinitely exhausted and that my reservoirs of power were totally empty; I must've been unconsciously using them ever since that day, long ago. My eyes felt as if they'd been weighted. Those were my last conscious thoughts as darkness claimed me...

But when I finally woke up, I wasn't where I started.

Dolphin scarcely noticed when Vaporeon, aware that its master was awake and beside herself, silently climbed up the steps to the diving board and manuevered itself onto her lap. When I choose to sleep here, I don't dream...or if I do dream, I don't remember them. It could be that I'm never asleep long enough for the dreams to start...I usually don't spend more than four hours in slumber. What does it mean? I'm so close to an answer, I can almost taste it...

Maybe it means that I'm really asleep, and that all this is one big dream in itself. But that shouldn't be true. Mazoku don't dream...at least, not in the conventional sense. Then what? Was I brought here the same way Curtis says Phibrizzo was: via the Lord of Nightmares herself? If the outburst of power was strong enough to restore my sanity, it could've taken me here at the same time...no, he couldn't have been telling the whole truth. The starting point was at wherever Phibrizzo was at the time; that's probably too far away from my palace, assuming I was there. Rrrghh, there are too many factors here!

But I was exhausted...and there's no doubt that the energy did affect me, even if it didn't truly transport me...

Dolphin's eyes widened as a new thought took hold. But what if I truly am asleep... She shuddered. Or worse, comatose? What if that energy not only re-awakened my mind, but pushed me to the very edge of oblivion? This world, these creatures, even my very abilities...

Am I permenantly trapped...in a massive---

A violent chill raced up her spine, this one not linked to her thoughts. Dolphin gazed down and noticed that Jetsam had bitten into her arm. Tapping Jetsam a few times to get the Pokémon's attention, she mouthed: 'Okay, what was the point of that?'

Jetsam let go of Dolphin's arm. The force it had used wasn't on par with a Bite attack, but it had still been enough to startle the mazoku out of her musings. 'Why must you always be so introspective when I'm trying to talk to you?'

Dolphin smiled apologetically. 'Sorry. I've just had a lot to think about.'

Jetsam gave her the Vaporeon equivalent of a shrug. 'Well, if you need me for anything, I'm right here.'

Back home, everyone dreaded being in my presence, Dolphin thought as she laid against the diving board, letting her limbs hang limp. I never asked for any opinions from my servants or allies, and they were too scared to offer any of their own choice...understandable. I don't know if it's because I can't change my present appearance or if my mind is being reworked, but I think I'm beginning to understand how humans truly feel when they have someone to look to. It's...rather enlightening, enjoyable, pleasing... She expelled a silent sigh. Maybe I should see if I could get a doctor's opinion.

For a few moments she just stared upwards, having finished her mental analysis. She next turned her thoughts as to what she could do. I think I'll just go to sleep at three and wake up at seven, instead of nine and one. What should I do until then? I could find that deck of cards and play solitaire...finish that book by Dr. Quackenpoker on Magikarp migration patterns...

Jetsam stood up and manuevered herself until she was staring right into Dolphin's face. She didn't respond.

...see if I can find enough dominos to circle the main hallway...

Jetsam then walked across Dolphin's face and onto the diving board, then turned to see if her trainer responded. Again, she never even twitched.

...I could think up practical jokes to use on any incoming gym challengers...

Rolling her eyes, the Vaporeon took note of Dolphin's hair. She was resting on most of it, but one of the ponytails was hanging loose over the edge of the board.

...keep track of how many tiles are on the floor around the pool...

Jetsam tensed itself, waited a few moments, then jumped off the board. On her way down she attempted to attach herself to the dangling ponytail, and finally succeeded by latching on with her teeth before she fell out of reach.

The unexpected weight threw Dolphin's balance out of alignment, and she nearly rolled off the board. Scrambling wildly, she was able to grab it before she fell into the water. 'Jetsam, you know I hate that! Let go of my hair!'

Jetsam's reply, muffled as it was by a mouthful of hair, was unintelligible; Dolphin thought she heard a challenging note in there, though. Undoing the clasps that held her ponytails in place, she replied: 'Whatever it is you just said, you're on!'

Hearing this, Jetsam let go and plunged into the pool. Dolphin clambered back onto the board, then took a few backwards steps in preparation for a dive...and forgot that when unbound, her hair was longer than she was tall. Her head jerked backwards and her shoes lost any traction they had, resulting in a sideways, unartistic fall into the water.

'Real graceful,' Jetsam crooned, finishing with a pseudo-snicker.

"Shut up and swim," Dolphin muttered, her voice audible once again.

As Jetsam propelled itself away like a missile---and as Dolphin tore through the water after it---the mazoku told herself: "If I ever set foot in that city again, it'll be too soon. Still, those people ought to be respectful to me in the future, considering where I sent that ancient sicko..."

-------

Location: Several miles away from the Seafoam Islands
Time: Several minutes later

"Glad that Giovanni sent me here to investigate that strange energy signature," Domino told herself as several grunts finished hauling up several nets. "Otherwise, we would've missed those Carvanha sightings. These things will make underwater missions easier in the future." She smiled wryly. "I guess I give the boss too little credit sometimes. Those fish are going to be major pains when they evolve."

As the trapped Carvanha were captured one by one in various Poké Balls, Domino took note of something that was ensnared within one of the nets. An eyebrow went up as she saw the form of a shrunken little man. "That's strange. It looks human, but it's smaller than Crobat. Hmm...looks like these things were trying to take a bite out of him."

"What should we do, 009?" one of the grunts asked.

Domino shrugged. "Drop him off somewhere when we return to the Islands. We can't exactly take him with us." She leaned closer to examine him. "Man, he looks old. What's an old guy like him doing in the middle of the ocean?"

Abruptly, the man's eyes popped open.

-------

Time: Several more minutes later
Location: Team Rocket HQ

"Excuse me, sir...we've just received a message from Agent 009."

Giovanni nodded. "What did she report?"

"Actually, she didn't say anything about her objectives."

An eyebrow went up. "Then what was it she needed? Clarification?"

"Um...no, sir. It's just that...well..."

"Well, what?"

"Those two agents you called in from Johto were present in the receiving room at the time. The transmission was specifically directed towards you, and they're demanding that you kick her out of Team Rocket permenantly. As it was, several grunts had to be admitted to Medical just from hearing the transmission."

Giovanni sighed. "Get to the point. What was the message?"

There was some hesitation. "It was...an extremely long stream of profanity, sir. Something about an old man and a giant winged Tauros. We couldn't make any sense of it."

Even Giovanni's Persian had the nerve to sweatdrop upon hearing this. The boss himself shook his head. "Just send in the agents. I'll worry about 009's insubordinance later."

---------

Chapter Seventeen concluded. Chapter Eighteen soon to commence

Author's Notes

The diving-board stunt Phibrizzo was doing at the start of the chapter was true. Years ago I used to take swimming lessons at a high school pool. Once before one of the lessons, one of the instructors started doing exactly the same thing. Kind of fun to watch, actually.

The mystery of who keeps drinking Dolphin's coffee continues. Heh, heh.

The line "You know it. I know it. Phibrizzo know it" was intentional. It's actually a reference to an old episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, where Moltar made his dissatisfaction with the script known by using a similar line.

It wasn't until after I typed it in that I realized there was a pun in the line "A cat with conditioning". Consider who it's referring to for a few moments.

Answer me this: when playing the Pokémon games, have you ever wondered how Surf, as a battle move, could be used in areas without any water?

I try not to complain when others use profanity, but I don't use it myself; I have my limits, and I believe it's possible to communicate without it. That's the main reason why I didn't quote Domino's message verbatim; I figured it was easier to imagine the aftereffects of her encounter with Happosai...whom, I might add, I don't really like.

For the next month or so, story progress is going to be really slow. Two of the classes I'm taking right now are accelerated online courses: twelve weeks worth of material crammed into six, not counting the week with Thanksgiving break. Be patient with me until then. Man...I hate trigonometry.

Onward to chapter eighteen...