InuYasha Fan Fiction / Excel Saga Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ If Anime Characters Invaded Your TV ❯ Family Feud...Naraku's Incarnations vs. ACROSS ( Chapter 3 )

Episode 4 ~ Family Feud

 

Sesshoumaru: (in a monotone) This is family feud. A show where two opposing `families' try to answer questions with the most `popular' answer.

 

Offstage: Dude, can you, like, put some emotion into your words or something?

 

Sesshoumaru: …Do you wish to die?

 

Manager: Okay, you have to stop threatening the stage crew, or you're not announcer anymore!

 

Sesshoumaru: …

 

((Technical Difficulties Music))

 

Sesshoumaru: (still in monotone) Let's welcome this week's families… the Naraku family and the ACROSS organization

 

Excel: Wow, it is so great to be here. Did I really win a car?

 

Sesshoumaru: …

 

Il Palazzo: Your incompetence is a disgrace to this foundation. *pulls rope*

 

Sesshoumaru: *thinks* Now where did that pit come from?

 

Naraku: I must make a note to get one of those…

 

Sesshoumaru: Very well…today's category…Something that everyone is afraid of

 

Naraku: Everyone fears me…I am the most despicable demon in the feudal era

 

((Buzzer sounds))

 

Sesshoumaru: That is incorrect

 

Naraku: What?

 

Rabid fan girls: (all wearing chibi Naraku shirts) OH MY GOD! LOOK! It's NARA-CHAN!!! QUICK!!!! HUG HIM BEFORE HE CAN GET AWAY!

 

Naraku: O.O Get away from me wenches! I will kill you all!

 

Rabid fan girl #1: He's so cute when he talks tough

 

Rabid fan girl #2: Let's braid his hair!

 

Kagura: *groaning*

 

Rabid fan girl #1: Aw, how cute! Nara-chan, you simply have to tell me who does your makeup.

 

((Technical Difficulties Music))

 

Naraku now has masses of ribbons and butterfly clips in his black hair

 

Sesshoumaru: We're back. Team Naraku guessed incorrectly, so now we go with team ACROSS

 

Excel: Oh, well, I'd have to say spiders. Oh wow, man, those things are SCARE-REE! *stares at Naraku* is that guy wearing eyelinger?

 

Il Palazzo: *pulls rope*

 

Excel: OH NOOOOOOOO! SPIDERS! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS? *screams*

 

Sesshoumaru: Spiders is one of the answers. 29 members of our audience have arachnophobia. ACROSS guessed correctly so they can go again

 

Naraku: So they do fear me. Kukuku

 

Kagura: *mutters* kumo

 

Sesshoumaru: Well, ACROSS

 

Il Palazzo: The inability to complete the necessary day-to-day tasks

 

Sesshoumaru: @_@

 

Excel: *climbing out of hole* that means…f-failure

 

Sesshoumaru: 4 people wrote fear of failure. Continue, ACROSS

 

Hyatt: *cough cough* D-d-d-d *dies*

 

Sesshoumaru: That is incorrect ((buzzer sounds)) We turn the next round over to team Naraku

 

Offstage: You aren't even trying any more, are you? This is a TV show! We have to get people to WATCH it. Put some feeling into your words!

 

Sesshoumaru: *whip attack*

 

Offstage: *girlish scream*

 

Sesshoumaru: Any other suggestions

 

*cricket chirp*

 

Sesshoumaru: Well, team Naraku

 

Kagura: Having your heart stolen *shoots evil look at Naraku*

 

Sesshoumaru: 10 people are afraid of rejection. Continue, team Naraku

 

Naraku: *evil grin*

 

Kagura: No! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! I'm SICK of working for NARAKU! Every time I go out I have to hear about `oh why didn't I kill Inuyasha' or `I'm going to kill you next time, Kagura, I hold your (beep!)ing heart in my hand!' I'm sick of it! SICK! I refuse to put up with it anymore

 

Sesshoumaru: Take it up with Jerry Springer on the next channel. Team ACROSS

 

Menchi: Woof! Arf! (trans: being eaten by a crazy (beep!)

 

Sesshoumaru: That is incorrect. Cannibalism is not one of the choices. Team Naraku

 

Kanna: Your soul…

 

Sesshoumaru: Incorrect. We go back with ACROSS

 

Excel: *thinking about food as usual* Um…oh, I'd have to go with pickles. Definitely pickles.

 

Sesshoumaru: Incor— *thinks: wtf?*

 

((DINGING NOISE))

 

Sesshoumaru: *reading off screen* 96 people selected pickles at their ultimate fear. One day pickles will take over our minds…

 

O_O

 

Naraku: fools! Why didn't you think of that?

 

Kagura: I don't know. Maybe you didn't threaten us enough.

 

Hakudoushi: Do not speak to Master Naraku like that

 

Naraku: *pulls rope*

 

Kagura: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

Sesshoumaru: …

 

Manager: Sesshoumaru, I don't care if you're a lord. You cannot kill the stage crew. Much as you'd like to think, they are not disposable. They are not tissues

 

Sesshoumaru: *raises eyebrow*

 

Manager: No. They are not tissues. I wish they were. Tissues wouldn't argue about severely reduced pay. All right, Sesshoumaru. I'm afraid you're fired.

 

Sesshoumaru: No, I quit. *walks off*

 

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK!

 

Excel: I'm out of cookies! Oh no! The fridge is empty!

 

Hyatt: Why not go to our emergency food rations?

 

Excel: That's a good idea! *opens door* Here Menchi, here girl…

 

((empty dog bed))

 

Excel: OH NOOOOOOOOO

 

Announcer: GOT MENCHI?