InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ On with the show! ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and company. I have just borrowed them for this play. Neither do I own the plot that this fanfic is built on (Yeah, that's it! I'm so lame that I can't even come up with a new story! So sue me!)

Also note that:

* I'm not a professional writer, nor is English my first language so please overlook bad spelling and writing.

* I KNOW that you don't spell tessaiga "tetsusaiga", but when used in this fic it is speech and due to some long shit I don't intend to bring up here it spells like that.

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Me: So, who of you want to help me doing a little play for the people at media miner?

Inuyasha: Hell no! *sticking his nose in the air*

Kagome: What kind of play?

Me: Erhm… Well… what kind do you like to be in?

Kagome: A love story!

Inuyasha: Wench! I refuse to take part in anything as lame as that!

Kagome: Oh, so you consider taking part after all? *teasing him*

Inuyasha: Keh!

Me: How about if you play a main character that does a lot of killing?

Inuyasha: Is there a part like that? *eyes twinkling*

(Sweat drop on Kagome who has a very annoyed face)

Me: Well… that depends on which play you'll perform.

Kagome: Something cute PLEASE. At least give me a cute character to play!

(Me thinking)

Kaede: I have very little to do today, so for the sake of those poor people (who would have to sit and listen to these children arguing for days) I have decided to take part too. If you can find a character suited for an old woman like me that is *laughing hoarse*

(Me still thinking)

Half an hour later…

Inuyasha: Hey! Did your own smell suffocate you?!

Me: WHAT?!

Kagome: Never mind him… he is always like that *giving him a cold stare*

Me: I suppose so… Well, I might have a suggestion but that requires one more actor…

Door opens and a tall shadow enter.

Inuyasha: BROTHER! *snarls* What are YOU doing here?!

Sesshoumaru: I, Sesshoumaru, heard you talking and as the kind lord I am I thought I come to the pretty lady's rescue! *making a graceful gesture at myself*

Me: *blushes* That's too kind my lord… *looking meaningfully at Inuyasha*

Inuyasha: Oh PUHLEASE! I will die the mushi-death *throws the back of his hand against his forehead and falls over on his back*

Me: *ignoring Inuyasha* I have the perfect part for you!

Inuyasha: Keh! If he's in I'm out!

Me: *knowing exactly what to say* But Inuyasha, your part is much bigger and you get to play against Kagome! We all need you!

Inuyasha: *sitting up in old tailor-pose and thinking* If you put it that way… Beside, I have to keep an eye on the old lord of fluff.

Sesshoumaru: *throwing daggers with his eyes at his brother*

Me: *sighs* Now that I have the story and the cast let's get on with the play!

Little Red Riding Hood.

Cast:

Storyteller: Me

Little red riding hood: Kagome

The wolf: Inuyasha

The grandmother: Kaede

The hunter: Sesshoumaru

Once upon a time there was a girl who was on her way over to her sick grandmother with sake and… [err...] sushi.

*Kagome skipping across the grass with a red hood on her head and a basket dangling on her left arm.*

The sun was shining and it was a wonderful day. To get to her grandmothers house she had to walk deep into the woods, her mother had clearly told her not to stray from the path, and she had no intentions to do that either. This wasn't the first time she visited her grandmother on her own. After some time walking in the woods a wolf came up to her.

*Inuyasha appears at her side covered in an old wolf-youkai's skin*

- Hey wench, what are you doing this far away from home?

*little red riding hood giving the wolf an angry stare*

- I'm on my way over to grandmother with some sake and sushi because she isn't well.

The wolf who thought that the little girl looked pretty tasty thought that if he handled this matter the right way he might get both the girl and her grandmother for dinner, so he came up with a plan.

Can I have some? The wolf said.

*storyteller comes in and drags the wolf offstage*

*minute pass*

*wolf comes in again with bump on his head*

So… Where does this grandmother of yours live? The wolf wondered.

Not that far away from here, I just have to follow the path for about half an hour.

Then I'll follow you and protect you from all the nasty youkais that are roaming this forest! *draws a humongous sword from underneath his wolf-skin*

*storyteller sighs but let the story continue*

The little girl thought that sounded great so they both started walking towards the little cabin in the woods.

After a while the wolf stopped.

*storyteller gives hard look at the wolf*

Keh! *pause* Ehem... Don't you think that old woman would like some sissy flowers to look at now that she is sick and can't go outside and pick some her self? I know for a fact that there are some really… *hard look from storyteller again* …pretty ones growing just behind those oaks over there *wolf nodding towards some huge old trees a couple of meters away from the path*

The girl thought about her mothers' words about not straying, but the forests were bright and the sun was shining so she didn't think that it would be any danger in just stopping for some minutes. Beside, her grandmother would be so pleased!

The wolf turned away to hide an evil smile…

*wolf actually does this part really well, seems like he has practised a lot even before getting the part*

…when the girl skipped off towards the flowers. While she was picking flowers deeper and deeper into the woods, he himself started running directly to the old woman's house.

*wolf tripping on the costume and falling offstage*

*front-seats flying in the air*

TETSUSAIGAAA!!

*red riding hood rushes offstage and down to calm the raging wolf*

*minutes pass*

*riding hood takes place on stage again picking flowers, and storyteller continues*

Finally there he knocked on the door and when an old voice told him to enter he rushed to her bed and ate the poor grandmother.

Inuyasha: What the hell?! I can't eat her, I don't eat HUMANS you whacko!

Me: Please, this is a play, you don't eat her for real stupid!

Inuyasha: I'M NOT STUPID!

Me: *mumble*

Inuyasha: I heard that!!!

Me: So, do you want to continue with the play or shall I replace you with Kouga? [not having Kouga nearby but it sure helps pretending ^_ ^ ]

Inuyasha: Keh! *tramps over to Kaede laying in bed*

Then he dressed himself in her nightgown…

Inuyasha: WHAAAAT?! Hell no! I'm no transvestite dammit!

*storyteller drags wolf offstage again*

*returns with a pouting wolf (with a vein popping out of his forehead) dressed in grandmothers' nightgown*

*storyteller continues with a threatening voice*

…and crawled into the bed. This is how the girl found him, pretending to sleep hiding (really hiding ^_^ ) deep between the blankets. The woman sure looked strange. Maybe because she was sick?

Granny why do you have so big ears?!! She asked.

So that I can hear you better. The wolf replied with his sweetest voice (which was more like a snarl)

But granny, your eyes then… they are also very big!!

So that I can see you better of course! The wolves were starting to get annoyed now. [Storyteller trying not to comment that it's like that with anime/manga characters *lol*]

You sure have very large hands too…

Inuyasha: I can't say this, I sound like Miroku! *pointing in his hand at his lines which were put there by storyteller*

Me: Oh, like you never said anything like it or worse before!

Inuyasha: Keh… *turns head away and sticks nose in the air, blushing*

Me: So, please continue…

*story goes on*

Mumble mumble mumble… (he said his line very fast and in a mumble so nobody could actually hear what he said.)

Me: One more time please, you will have to repeat it until we can hear you so just get it over with!

Yeah, nowIcanhugyoubetter! His voice didn't sound that caring anymore and a growl slipped his lips.

*storyteller rolls her eyes and sighs*

B... but.. granny.. your mouth… the child gasped when she saw the huge fangs in his mouth.

THAT'S SO I CAN EAT YOU BETTER!!! The wolf roared and jumped at the girl and swallowed her in one piece. *wolf looking really happy and satisfied with which way the story were heading*

Then the wolf fell asleep due to the huge dinner he just had. Soon he started snoring so loud that the cabin shook.

A hunter who was a dear friend of the old woman came by.

*Sesshoumaru enters*

He thought that something seemed wrong and knocked on the door.

- I, Sess… err.. the Hunter asks your permission to enter, old friend!

When he didn't get any reply from the house, he went inside and found the sleeping wolf.

*Hunter laughing hysterically, totally forgetting the stoic pose and plain cold facial expressions he usually has*

*Wolf jumps up from bed and draws his huge sword once again*

Inuyasha: TETSUSAIGAAA!

Sesshoumaru: There there little brother, or should I say little sister? *laughs*

Inuyasha: *growls with eyes glowing and smoke coming out of his ears*

*Kagome and Kaede comes in and drags the hunter offstage*

*storyteller tries to convince the wolf to get in bed again but it proved impossible*

*minutes pass with a pouting growling crossed wolf sitting at the few seats at the front row still remaining*

*Kagome comes and sits next to wolf comforting him*

*minutes pass*

*show continues*

At first he was going to shoot him, but at second thought his friend might still be alive inside the (now a nightgown shorter) beasts stomach so he decided to slice the wolf open with his knife.

*hunter's eyes twinkling while pretending to cut the wolf*

When that was done a young girl jumped out of the belly and after her came his friend - the grandmother.

- Thank you so much for saving us! They said and hugged the kind hunter.

*hunter shining with pride*

*half dead wolf stares daggers at him*

Then they all started to fill the wolf's stomach with rocks and when he finally woke up he was so heavy that he hardly could move. With great effort he left the cabin and crawled into the woods and was never seen after that day.

Inuyasha: What the fuck?? That's a really crappy ending!

Me: I know… but that's the story goes.

Inuyasha: Keh.

Me: Don't pout, next story will be better *smiles*

Inuyasha: NEXT ONE??!

Me: *evil grin*

Kagome: I thought it was fun!

Kaede: *nodding and smiling*

Sesshoumaru: I, Sesshoumaru, will certainly participate in the next one too.

Inuyasha: Sure, you got to play the hero! Next time it's my turn and you'll have to wear the girly clothes and do the lame lines! *pointing and laughing*

Sesshoumaru: The problem is not what you get to play, it's HOW you perform it! I would be the star even if you dressed me up as a clown and had me rolling across the stage!

Inuyasha: Keh! *crossing arms and sticking nose in the air*

Me: Yeah yeah… Well done everybody and we'll se how the next story turns out, IF it gets to be another one that is.

Kagome: Oh, please make another one!

Inuyasha: Shut up wench!

*everybody except Inuyasha laughing*

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Well, that's it minna-san. Hope at least some of you enjoyed it. Please comment if you have something to say, flames or roses doesn't matter both are reactions that tells me that I managed to reach you ^_^